My Story - should I marry while in the USA?

[NikLR 13,227]

Personally I would AOS. You spent the time and convinced the officer you would not AOS. I assume you actually meant it at the time and were not planning on staying or else they would have shipped you back (unless you're a really good liar or have no moral conscious...) The burden of proof is on the USCIS to show you always intended to AOS, not on you to prove it wasn't your intent and that you decided near the end of your trip that you really didn't want to leave.

CR1 are taking over a year currently... probably closer to 2.

K1 is a about a year.

I don't know how long AOS would take but you'd need to wait at least 3 months before you could go anywhere outside the USA or work.

[christeen 966]

Choice is yours, but looking at the current situation with cr1 I would probably choose to marry and adjust... It seems based on the issues you got entering on VWP this time, you might have issues visiting during the process... It is up to the govt to prove intent...

[RhettVoe 282]

Of the posters who have left something here, involving a pending AOS from a B2 or VWP status, every one of them has claimed they had no intention of remaining....a coincidence that just does not add up.

Our system is not 'ridiculous'...we have tourist visas for tourists and the VWP for certain countries....you told our border folks that you had so many reasons for returning, but now, we read only negative comments about the US process.

The border officer was apparently right in not admitting you...as we now see.

As for his (or her) thoughts that you were (or are) working in the US, well, a musician who has not put a hit on Billboard is not likely to have the resources to live in the US for 3 months...I have visited the UK several times, while gainfully employed, and I spent around $100 a day for food, transportation and entertainment, not counting lodging. Even a modest hotel in London was well over $100 a day. Even if you were paying less than that for rent, you would have needed more than $10,000 to spend 3 months in the US...which also means that you would have had to declare such a sum to our customs folks....it costs a lot of money to stay here, even in Maine.

The 'right way' and the way that would live up to the terms of the visa waiver privilege you enjoy is to (a) marry, then return to the UK and await the processing of your immigrant visa or (b) return to the UK, have your 'friend' file the K1 visa and then wait for that process to complete itself...either one takes about the same amount of time...6-8 months typically.

But if you decide to stay, marry and adjust, your situation will eventually come to the attention of USCIS/CPB, and the next VWP traveler from the UK will bear the brunt of your decision by being taken to secondary, interviewed (or 'grilled', as you like it), have their luggage searched, etc., and they may well not get the benefit of any doubts and be sent home....they (CPB) told you what to do...now you want to ignore them and our rules (while casting aspersions upon them), but prove them right nonetheless should you decide to remain here.

[Boiler 45,516]

$10k is in cash, most people travel with CC's.

If it was considered such a big deal it would be very easy to stop.

[Soul Froosh 31]

Thanks for all your opinions (well nearly everyone)

I received some free legal advice here in Maine and she advised not to marry here and try to adjust on this visit. Maybe she was airing on the side of caution as a legal advisory, but she thinks it's not worth the risk.

She also said the K-1 would take only 4 months (which is contrary to what I've been told here)

I'm not sure I fully trust her opinion, although she did say to get more opinions elsewhere.

There seems to be more knowledgeable people here advising me to marry and AOS. Then again I'm probably choosing to hear what I want to hear.

Any thoughts on what she said?

[B & G 200]

K-1 will not take only 4 months.

A better estimate will be 7-9 months. But you can double check that on the K-1 threads on this site and you can have a look at the timeline stats here: http://www.visajourney.com/timeline/stats.php

These are comprised by dates K-1 filers have given themselves.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

K-1 right now is going pretty fast, but it could slow down any day. You could file the I-129F now and get in line. Some people are reporting a months or so only for NOA2 (which is just the first step, but that step usually takes 5-6 months).

[Soul Froosh 31]

Right, and as soon as she said 4 months I stopped valuing her opinion.

So, any more thoughts on staying and AOS?

This decision is consuming me.

I have a little under 3 weeks to either get on the plane back with a long separation from loved one, or stay, marry now and try to adjust (as many seem to have with ease) although there is still a risk.

Thanks to everyone for the input. More opinions would be valued.

Edited November 21, 2013 by Nick Loves Rosie

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I just said that her 4 months might be correct based on current timelines, but that it could change at any time. I explained NOA2s for I-129Fs are coming quickly, around 1 month instead of 6. Then you wait for an interview. Your gf can file i-129F today.

Personally I would do K-1 because of what happened to you at POE.

Edited November 21, 2013 by Harpa Timsah

[Avery Cates 1,141]

I think all things considered, the safe bet is going to do the K-1 process. You could stay and try and adjust status, but you could also run into trouble with that because of the issues you encountered on your entry this time. If they think you arrived here with the intent to immigrate when you adjust, which they may since it was a suspicion at the PoE this time, then you're in for some trouble that won't be easy to solve, and at worst will resolve in your removal from the country and not being allowed back in for a set amount of years.

As someone who just completed the K-1 process, in hindsight I wouldn't do it differently. I know that we won't have any problems now and there's no chance we'll ever be apart again, and that peace of mind shouldn't be understated.

It took us 7 1/2 months roughly from start to finish, and while that's a not small bit of time, remember that she can still come visit you in your country to break up the time away. You can in theory still come here to visit as well during the process, but you may again run into some PoE issues. But you have options, either way.

My take on it.

[Soul Froosh 31]

Yea, thanks for the input.

I think it's not worth the worry to stay and adjust.

I want to end all this worry - staying isn't the solution.

It just sucks to get on that plane knowing it will take so long to get back.

She has no passport and I'm barred from using the visa waiver for a year.

Thanks everyone for the input.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

Yea, thanks for the input.

I think it's not worth the worry to stay and adjust.

I want to end all this worry - staying isn't the solution.

It just sucks to get on that plane knowing it will take so long to get back.

She has no passport and I'm barred from using the visa waiver for a year.

Thanks everyone for the input.

Have her apply for a passport. They're not difficult to get, and don't take terribly long from what I remember. She can apply for one at her local post office most likely.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Your gf needs to get a passport and come visit you. Don't you want her to see your home before you leave it?

Some unsolicited advice: It will be much harder for you to adjust to living in the US if your gf has never left the US.

Edited November 22, 2013 by Harpa Timsah

[Soul Froosh 31]

She's been to Japan and travelled before, but her passport expired. She doesn't get much time off work.

I would love her to visit. My head is gonna explode making this decision whether to stay and marry or go home and through K-1.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

She's been to Japan and travelled before, but her passport expired. She doesn't get much time off work.

I would love her to visit. My head is gonna explode making this decision whether to stay and marry or go home and through K-1.

Relax, man! Everything will work out, I promise.

Did you consult with a lawyer? That might ease your mind.

Edited November 22, 2013 by Harpa Timsah