About to file I-751 & on the brink of divorce: have you gone through that?

[Jon and Krissy 452]

Hi everybody,

I have to renew my GC and I am on the brink of divorce. I need some info. I mean, being divorced and filing separately by proving I entered the marriage in good faith, I get the concept. But filing for removal of conditions while things are really going south and I am considering filing for divorce, it is all at the same time and I have to confess I don't know what to do. It takes 6 months minimum to divorce and I have 3 months to file for removal of conditions.

I have also to add that my husband is extremely abusive and has anger management issues with no hope of change as he does not seek the psychiatric help he needs (he has a mental condition he hid to me for years until I found a pill on the carpet) and I discovered that he has also copiously abused his ex-wife.

I have loved him with all my heart but I cannot safely stay in this marriage any longer (ended up in the ER lately due to his threats, abuses and all the distress I am subjected to).

Any suggestion?

Thanks

Leave the house at once to protect yourself. Stay in the US if you want and file on your own. Why you'd want to stay here instead of France, though, I've no idea....

[AT20000 38]

I thank you all for your answers. Please take no offense but could you go further in your explanations and get into the reasons why everybody seems to think it is difficult to file for VAWA and "extreme cruelty" ? I am talking about reasons such as "VAWA has an approval rate of only 40%" or "I went through this process myself and it has been a true ordeal" kind of thing.

The reason why I am asking these questions is that I am extremely puzzled by the above reactions as, to me, gathering proofs and sending a strong file is way less difficult and stressing than having to file for an extension, have no job in the meantime (because realistically no employer will keep an employer with an uncertain status), take the risk of getting denied, go to court, face a judge, appeal the decision, etc. All this with no job and for months.

What puzzles me is also that what I read on here goes the opposite way of what I am being told at the National DV hotline, Weave, California coalition to end domestic violence, and Immigrant Legal Resource Center of San Francisco. I have the list of VAWA/extreme cruelty filing documents: USCIS made it extremely easy to say the least!

Besides, the Immigrant Legal resource center expressly mentions that "Abused/battered women face many challenges in gathering documents for their VAWA petition, USCIS knows how hard this process can be for self petitioners. Because of this, the USCIS gives self petitioners a more realistic standard for evidence. This standard is known as the "any credible evidence" standard. It means that self-petitioners will not be rejected just because they are missing an official document, so long as they have other believable documents that show they meet the requirements."

So your reactions give me the impression that I am missing something. And considering my situation: I do not want to miss something and trip.

I have police report, ER report, family doctor report, couple therapist report, the situation has been evaluated by a DV center by a therapist specifically trained, I have the proof that my husband prevents me from working since the day I came here (left a manager position in the pharma industry to come live with him), that he knows I have a toothache for months, has dental coverage only for him and has other financial priorities than providing dental care for his family. And icing on the cake, my husband is now retaining our tax return (I signed this tax return back in April) on the USAF base where he works (he was in the military & now has a federal job on the same base). He keeps it and does not file it despite the 30(& counting) emails I sent him about that over the last 7 months... So this constitute a breach of his fiduciary duties (financial abuse). My son does not get out of his room -except to go to college- for 2 years now due to the permanent "walking on eggshells and control" we are subjected to. If there is a need to push even further, I can also get the court record of a hearing I attended where is ex-wife, in their visitation battle actually said under oath that he has been abusing her also.

I will have no problem proving that I entered the marriage in good faith.

What worries me a lot is:

-How is my son going to file if I file for VAWA or extreme cruelty? He hasn't been abused directly but by the consequences of me being abused.

-If I file with a divorce pending, I am going to be issued an extension, how on earth am I gonna find a job with that? I mean US employers are already so reluctant to hire a foreign-born citizen so if on top of that they are not sure that this person is going to stay... Forget it!

- Is it better for me to file with the help of an immigration organization that takes care of abused spouses or is it possible to file on my own

- Also filing for separation does NOT mean that the couple will ultimately divorce (on the contrary this process is often used to give a spouse a "warning shot") so filing with "divorce pending" is at best inaccurate.

[Brian1967## 119]

OP...if you file under "extreme Cruelty" it is my advice you do not do this unless you have to,

1) Always remember your personnel safety comes first, you are being abused , get out, go to a shelter, call the police

2) if you file for removal of conditions and you claim cruelty you will have to prove this. It will add further to your paperwork and the time it takes to process because you not only have to prove the cruelty but also bona fide marriage.

3) if you divorce and just file for the joint waiver then you will get 10 year green card. Can your spouse put things in your file? sure he can will it be given much weight, that all depends on the proof he has to back any claims he might have. Look, you have good proofs and it seems as though everything will be fine. Can your husband write USCIS and say all these bad things...yes will this letter go in your file...yes, will the IO give the letter any weight, it depends on the IO who is doing the interview. Bit like most say your soon to be ex will need PROOF and it cannot be some letter from a brother or sister, but is proof from a verifiable third party source, proof that in some cases the immigrant was the abuser, or police willing to testify, I mean there is all kinds of proof, but in the end it sounds like you have all you need. Good Luck

[Villanelle 4,122]

Basically youre getting confused by the wording. Vawa is just an abbreviation that means different things to different people at different times depending on where they are in the immigration process. VAWA stands for the violence against women act (although it covers abused people of any gender not just women) Its a provision in the code because many forms require the USC to sign in certain places and an abusive spouse will not because they are abusive, just like a deceased spouse can not or a divorced spouse can not. But the immigrant can not be punished and not receive the benefit the are otherwise entitled to because of this circumstance.

So someone who is married and is all set to send in their forms and unfortunately their spouse passes tragically does not lose their right, they send in the proper forms showing they are a widow and the USC is dead and hence the reason the spouse can not sign and its all good. A person who was brought to the US on a K1 visa and married in good faith but then their spouse became abusive and refuses to sign or submit paper work for their AOS is still entitled to file for AOS on their own with out the abusers support by filing for VAWA. They simply have to prove to the VAWA unit that they were a victim of abuse and therefore the spouse will not/can not sign. Once vawa determines yes you are a legitimate victims of DV you qualify to file for AOS on your own with the USCs support.

This is what almost 90%+ cases of VAWA are. People who have no status seeking to get approval as a DV victim to be able to file for AOS for a greencard on their own with out the abusers support.

As explained you already have status, You have a GC. You are simply seeking to remove the conditions.

To remove conditions you need to show proof of a bonafide marriage. You also are required to have your spouse sign jointly. There are a few waivers you can check off for why your spouse is not signing jointly with you such as they are deceased, (they are not) you are divorcing, or they are abusive,

So going back to the list again, whatever you check off is what you need to prove to get approved to successfully ROC.

You must have proof of marriage in all situations.

Check off divorce and you need proof of marriage and proof of divorce.

Check off divorce and abuse and you need proof of marriage proof of divorce and proof of abuse

Check off just abuse and you need proof of marriage and proof of abuse.

IMO checking off just divorce is the easiest way because if you are getting a divorce, while it seems like oh my what a hassle- I may have to go to court, it may be delayed, what a headache, its really not. You have a GC, you can work at any time. Employers will have no idea of your status with immigration or you ROC issues. You are never placed out of status. You are never at any risk. You can still take advantage of any and all DV programs and resources that may be available to you in your state.

Checking off abuse is risky. The VAWA unit has very high standards for determining if someone is a victim of abuse or not, to prove physical abuse you need things like police reports, pictures of injuries, hospital records, a restraining order (at a min) for mental abuse you need a psch evaluation along with a diagnosis of ptsd or severe anxiety or depression and should be on medication or treatment for it. You would need to submit a 10 page letter detailing the abuse and relationship. Its not an easy process, which is why I suggest looking through the VAWA thread.

SO review the ROC forums and if you have enough proof of the marriage and can submit it along with the reason being he is not signing the joint application simply because you are divorced then its the easiest way to go. If you dont have the standard proofs required then you may have to go the abuse route to explain why you dont have co-mingled funds or leases because his controlling an abusive behavior did not allow it

[AT20000 38]

Hi Capri,

Thank you for your answer. It makes me think I did not give enough information about my situation. There is a misunderstanding

-I do have the proofs that I entered the marriage in good faith

-I do have all the proofs of co-mingled interests

-I do have the proofs of the abuses

None of that is the issue.

But, if I may, there obviously is a confusion in what constitutes proof of abuses. I have followed the thread for VAWA but it only is "she says, he says" or "I have waited for so many months" but no document with: "Here are the official VAWA rules" so I have been searching for the decision making criteria for VAWA and I got them. The person who forwarded the list of documents to me is the Education and Training program manager who manages the programs that train law enforcement, judges, lawyers and advocates on VAWA in California. VAWA is kinda her job. (the list is here http://www.nc-van.org/documents/VAWA%20Checklist%20English.pdf)

She insisted on the fact that the central piece in this process is the quality of the affidavit of the victim describing the abuses (because USCIS knows that not all abuses are easy to prove and that abusers can pretty much make it impossible for the victim to access many documents). A couple of documents/testimonies corroborating/supporting what is said in the victim's affidavit is receivable.Very few documents are mandatory in the list (only the ones with a * on them) There is no such a thing as a psychiatric evaluation (for having been in the medical field, a psychiatric evaluation costs about 3000$ and lasts several months. No victim could realistically afford that), no diagnosis of PTSD or depression, let alone being obligated to prove you receive treatment for all of the above (it would put the therapist in HIPPA law violation) is mandatory: How would victims without legal status hence without medical coverage & no money could have access to this protection otherwise?

Affidavits from DV organizations counselors stating that one is subjected to DV, Proven track of attendance to a DV program for a while, testimonies from relatives and friends with whom you have shared your story, your personal journal are OK as proofs.

What worries me is the wait time: An expired GC is not valid for work so yes I am going to be thrown out of status no matter what. Employers just have to look on the card to find out that my GC is going to expire in 90 days and yes they will therefore put their nose in my ROC issues as they are concerned about employees turnover. They already are reluctant to hire a foreigner with a valid GC so hiring a foreigner with an expired GC and a paper saying that my status is being reviewed... Not even in my wildest dreams.

If I go through the divorce stuff, I am afraid the ordeal will last forever. Knowing my abuser, he will drag it because this will put me in a difficult situation and the divorce will stretch for more than 20 months (and with it the ROC). If I ask for an extension for pending divorce it is going to last for 2 months before I get an answer. Then they will try to deny me = another 3 months, then I will have to appeal = another 6 months, then I will have to have file again for extension as the divorce will not be final = another 3 months. Then I will have to go back to the ROC and it will take another year. I am in for 3 years of struggle before I am safe with my papers in order.

Now going through divorce against an abuser without a lawyer (no job=no money=no lawyer) just to get over with ASAP and take on the ROC issue ASAP, is, to me, the best way to get abused even more and end up living in a cardboard box. He will come up with a shark as a lawyer and I am going to end up paying HIM spousal support. That's where it is going to get to.

Does anyone know anybody with experience going through VAWA/cruelty? Some "inside story" would definitely help!

[Villanelle 4,122]

Hmm okay.. I do totally get what you are saying. Some of your information about VAWA is correct and some of it you are just misinterpreting. So in regards to VAWA it can be filed two ways physical abuse or mental abuse. You can claim to be a victim of one or of both. Each one has different things needed to prove it. The things needed for each was the stuff I listed above (physical abuse is hospital/photos/restraining orders- mental is dr evaluation etc) If you dont believe me or are unsure read through sandras posts in the VAWA thread or contact her through the message system here as she is both an advocate for DV and an atty that has helped many with their VAWA cases. In regards to how does a victim get a lawyer to help them file or obtain a dr evaluation when they are broke? There are pro bono lawyers and programs that assist with the costs.

The main part you seem to be mostly confused about is the fact that when you file for ROC whether its checking off the abuse box or the divorce box, you are never out of status. When you file and they receive it you get a receipt with a 1 year extension. The GC with that notice is your proof of legal status. You should be able to use it to renew your drivers license to get a job to do anything you need to do really.

You seem to think if you file under abuse alone and submit your ROC it will be approved with in the normal 9 month time frame. I dont know if it will or not because like I said when you check off abuse it does not go through normal processing it goes to the VAWA unit to determine if you qualify as a victim of DV therefore your USC spouse does not need to sign. The burden for VAWA is very high first of all and secondly the VAWA unit is made up of a very small group of specially trained adjudicators hence the long wait for VAWA approvals. So you may run into a situation anyway where your 1 year extension runs out and you need to request another extension because they are still processing you. You will also have the stress of worrying of whether or not the proof of the abuse you submitted met their burden because if it didnt your ROC will be denied.

Again, I personally feel its a risky move to take, to submit evidence of abuse and let them review it and decide if it meets their standards or not and potentially be denied when you can very easily submit a divorce decree which will 100% meet the standards and be approved.

Yes in some states divorces can take a min of 2 years to be finalized and there are plenty of people in that situation where their ROC overlapped it. Its really not a big deal. You file for ROC and check off the divorce box, You get your 1 yr extension letter while they process you. They will process your ROC application based on your proofs of marriage and RFE you for the divorce decree. If you dont have it by the completion they refer you to immigration court where the judge will say hey whats going on you tell him. The divorce is not done yet. You bring proof of it. They give you more time. Another extension letter if necessary. When the divorce is done you present it to the court and your card will be issued.

On a side note it seems you live in CA ( densely populated immigrant area) it also seems your husband has prevented you from working since youve been here. I can only imagine that is where you are getting this crazy and stereotypical statements like "They already are reluctant to hire a foreigner with a valid GC so hiring a foreigner with an expired GC and a paper saying that my status is being reviewed... Not even in my wildest dreams." Because first of all your card with the extension letter is NOT expired. Secondly the paper doesnt say your 'under review' just that its an extension. Thirdly very few people are reluctant to hire foreigners, especially in an area densely populated with foreigners,. If you have the skills and the desire and are willing and legal to work- you should have no problem finding a job. It really does seem like a lot of this was discouragement left over from your husband pounding 'you are worthless' into you head the last two years and your need to be dependent on him because otherwise you will be in some 'cardboard box' , so I would encourage you to take a small step outside and test the waters. Check with Sandra if you would like about the specifics you would personally need to file abuse with ROC and whatever she tells you is the absolute truth, she doesnt sugar coat and she knows the law inside and out.

[AT20000 38]

Little update: I am glad to say that, with all due respect to the above posters who I am sure were here trying to help, I am happy I did not listen to them ( and to the others who gave me the same advice on other threads) I am the living proof that filing for divorce is NOT at all faster than filing for cruelty when you have a cruelty case. I got approved in no time, without being divorced and NOW I can start the divorce without worrying about anything. My abuser has lost ALL leverage on me. Tables have turned.

I will start off by telling the DV or cruelty victims: You DO NOT need to have been beaten and hospitalized due to the beating to file for cruelty. If you have a case ( I.e if SOME of the abuses - mental, psychological, emotional, physical and economical are DOCUMENTED by emails, testimonies, proofs of any kinds such as therapist saying that you are victim of abuse, etc) then DO NOT let ANYBODY besides an immigration lawyer who is experienced in DV cases talk you out of filing for Extreme cruelty. I repeat so we are clear: DO NOT let anybody talk you out of filing for extreme cruelty if you have a case, unless it is a qualified lawyer who has experience in DV who tells you that you do not have a case ( if I may, if they come up with " you have a very strong case but checking divorce is much faster" get another advice. If you are in the Sacramento CA area, go to http://openingdoorsinc.com/)

I have heard the rhetoric "you are better off filing for ROC checking the divorce box, it will be much faster, you will never be out of status, the burden of proof for cruelty is VERY high, etc, etc, etc..." I guess I have heard it all. Fortunately I strongly believe in logic and honesty.

IF someone files for divorce before or around the ROC, USCIS does NOT process your case until the divorce is final, and a divorce, even a fast one, takes at least a year. THEN your case is reviewed: How in the world could these 2 successive processes be any shorter than filing for ROC with the true reason AND to have your case processed immediately? It was clearly not adding up to say the least so I stuck to my guns and filed for extreme cruelty.

In addition, leaving an abuser is NOT just any contentious divorce, it is a dangerous game that can be deadly and have consequences for the rest of your life. Abusers tend to use the immigration process to their advantage ( so far in 100% of the cases I have heard of, the abuser have used the immigration process as leverage and for blackmail). They can and will drag the divorce process in order to get you in trouble with USCIS. Worse, they can use it as a way to make you agree in court to a bunch of conditions you would have never agreed to normally (You agree to XXX otherwise I ask for mediation and I will drag it for 6 more months) and you could end up coned into accepting shared parenting for example, which will keep you in contact with your abuser every single week of your life until your kids turn 18. Or the abuser could also force you to sign for a provision that obligates you to remain within the limits of the county where he resides under the pretext that staying close to each other is better for the kids, etc. Are you sure you want that?

So please PLEASE do not fall in that trap. If you have a case for cruelty, file for cruelty. PERIOD ( now if you don't, that is another story). Besides, it gives the administration the exact idea of how many abusers pick foreign born spouses because they have been dumped over and over in their own country and they aim for a safest "power and control" trip. So reporting the wrongdoers helps their future/potential victims ( my soon to be ex has abused his ex-spouse for 10 years, she did not file for cruelty, just divorced and ran away. I found out once the trap was closed. it was too late.)

What qualifies you?

1- Your affidavit: Give details, dates, circumstances, if there are witnesses, get their affidavit to support what you say.

2- Protective orders, police reports ( 911 calls reports) and there is NO need to have been physically wounded to obtain these, just the simple fact of being placed in a situation where you fear for your security, your life or the fear of great bodily injury is enough to call.

3- Medical records ( you were so shocked that you have been sent to the ER by your doctor or the police, this is a proof EVEN if there is NO wound)

4- Shelters affidavits DV violence associations offer counselling, attend one of their programs ( Stay away from the org that demand you to attend more than 4 sessions before they consent to do any paper, these are out for government money, not for helping you.)

5- affidavits of other people: Family, friends, neighbors etc...

Now if you have proofs of physical abuse: i.e you have been sent to the hospital because you have been wounded, beaten by your abuser you WILL qualify almost automatically ( of course your affidavit still needs to be substantial, consistent with your story line, credible and documented but this kind of medical report leaves no doubt to the adjudicators in general.) You can find more here: http://www.nc-van.org/documents/VAWA%20Checklist%20English.pdf

All the " the burden of proof is very high do not do that" are unfounded rumors that spread like a wild fire and actually hurt DV victims. My soon to be ex-husband shoved me, chest bumped me, threatened me but I never got beaten to the point where it could have been marked ( I mean all abusers are not idiots). On the other hand one day I called 911 unbeknownst to him because he was really agitated, out of his mind and really threatening, 911 made a report and sent the police to our place. I got the report. I got shelter reports, counselors reports and I have made sure to journal everything. I sent him emails about several issues ( the lack of dental care I was left into while I had a toothache for months and while he was taking good care of his own health, the joint tax returns he refuses to file for 2 years now, the utilities being cut etc, etc..)

Now get this as a result : I Filed for ROC under extreme cruelty with a fee waiver on Jan 20, 2014. Got my fee waiver approved on Jan 23, 2014, had my biometrics done on March 19, 2014, got approved without interview on May 6, 2014 that is a whooping total of 3 months and 3 weeks. I haven't seen a lot of happily married couples are getting approved that fast AND I would still be waiting by now, if I had checked "divorce" on my application. Once again, honesty with USCIS has paid more than I could have expected.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Thats quite a high soap box you are preaching from. (nevermind the countless other threads you have launched your pro-VAWA platform on sometimes inappropriately). Yes, there are some people here who are anti- VAWA but they are in the minority. Most people support it, and the ones that are against it are not against it because they support violence but because they believe the system is corrupt and is being abused and want it reformed.

A few things. The USCIS is like a living organism in the way it processes applications. Back when you posted this and were making the decision on where and what to submit certain service centers and visa types were flying of the shelves and Vermont (the VAWA unit) was backlogged. It has recently come to light that the VAWA unit just hired or rather unleashed a bunch of newly trained adjudicators (something like 1000) to their small team and as a result VAWA is moving at the speed of light now. People that were waiting 18+ months are now getting things in 6.

So your statements about the speed.. Well thats subject to change. Dont get me wrong Im very glad you were approved quickly and I hope the VAWA unit retains its numbers and keeps at it, but the timeline I proposed to you was accurate at time- that the VAWA unit was taking apx 12-18 months to process.

So I believe theres some confusion there. As well as no body ever told you not to be honest as you allude to.

You had several choices as how to file your ROC. You couldve chosen abuse, separation, or abuse and separation. They are three different paths. You chose what you felt was best for you. But what was best for you may not be best for every one. (some of your reasoning was a bit off- like the GC will be expired and extension letters arent as good as a new card employment wise which is BS)

As for the drawing out of the divorce- I feel you on that. Yes it can happen and yes it does happen. But your abuser only has as much power over you as you let them. Do you understand that? So your card is delayed. So f*cking what. What kind of blackmail is that?! You are NOT out of status. You are in no danger. Drag it out buddy. You have a magic letter of extension and you can get another one.

But that was your choice. Advocating that everyone who qualifies for abuse should file for it because helps future/potential victims (???) Umm no. I dont see how first of all and secondly it may not be the right choice for everyone. Its very dangerous like you said to give out blanket advice.

Your own post is contradictory as your 'what qualifies you list" is different then your pdf link with the *starred* items. Plus some people upon breaking up become extremely emotional. There was the recent post of do I qualify for VAWA as my partner is/has been abusing me by sleeping around and exposing me to diseases. Or the one whos spouse disconnected the TV and internet service after she had him removed from the home. She claimed abuse. Shall they write affidavits and turn in their diary's and wait for approvals?

The truth is you do take a risk having someone evaluate your case to see if your spouse is abusive and therefore exempt from signing- because theres a chance they can say no- spouse isnt abusive- shouldve signed- denied. There is absolutely no risk in filing under divorce and saying my spouse did not sign because we are divorced.

Someone may have to file under abuse because they were married a short time and do not have significant evidence of the marriage and it looks suspicious almost like they came and got a GC and are now leaving the spouse.

[AT20000 38]

Thats quite a high soap box you are preaching from. (nevermind the countless other threads you have launched your pro-VAWA platform on sometimes inappropriately). Yes, there are some people here who are anti- VAWA but they are in the minority. Most people support it, and the ones that are against it are not against it because they support violence but because they believe the system is corrupt and is being abused and want it reformed.

You had several choices as how to file your ROC. You couldve chosen abuse, separation, or abuse and separation. They are three different paths.

Advocating that everyone who qualifies for abuse should file for it because helps future/potential victims (???) Umm no. I dont see how

The truth is you do take a risk having someone evaluate your case to see if your spouse is abusive and therefore exempt from signing- because theres a chance they can say no- spouse isnt abusive- shouldve signed- denied. There is absolutely no risk in filing under divorce and saying my spouse did not sign because we are divorced.

Someone may have to file under abuse because they were married a short time and do not have significant evidence of the marriage and it looks suspicious almost like they came and got a GC and are now leaving the spouse.

Capri,

First No ulterior motive or agenda: politics, corrupt system or whatever anyone can come up with, can possibly justify to give false information to DV victims. Women and kids lives are at stakes so if anyone puts a political agenda before human lives, they are plainly and simply dangerous psychopaths.

As for "helping the next victim" You should probably know that YES IT DOES help as restraining orders for DV are disclosed to the next foreign born spouse (USC spouse can inform themselves in USA) and USCIS keeps track of that so they can delay or deny the next K1 visa. Now you can talk about examples of people who got the TV turned off on them and thought it was abuse, until your face turns blue but anyone who will read the list I provided here above will understand righ away if they have a case (or not). Besides, DV associations are very good at letting you know if you are abused or if you are just a drama queen. So far I have been horrified by what I have heard, but I haven't met ONE example of ANY fake victim it the 2 years I am involved in DV support. Seen hundred of cases, not ONE remote control drama queen among them.

As for the legend of the bad immigrant who came here for a GC, and has no proof of marriage blah blah blah give me a break! Most cases that go to immigration court turn in favor of the defendant because the burden of proof falls on USCIS. So unless the defendant is a blithering idiot who has written somewhere that they got married for a GC or bragged about it before witnesses - How do you prove the evil intention over the theory of a couple that did not work out or someone who was abused by a moron who thought it was OK to slap the heck out of his spouse because she was not USC?

Now " There is absolutely no risk in filing under divorce" is totally WRONG, you just don't get where the problem is in case of DV. In addition to the deportation risk due to false accusations or fallacious retraining orders, there is also a risk of death or great bodily injury ( read further).

That said, have YOU undergone this ROC VAWA/cruelty process yourself? Are you an immigration attorney with dozens of ROC VAWA/extreme cruelty cases under your belt? Let me guess... No and No, right? So well.. What are you talking about? Unless you actually WORK for USCIS (which I clearly doubt because there is no such a thing as "abuse and separation" on I-751 form) how could you possibly know if cases are flying off the shelves in Vermont, California, or God knows where? People need to stop peddling unfounded rumors that misguide victims. There is NO such a thing as a "mental evaluation" listed in the list of exhibits I have in hand ( not even a mention or even the slightest hint), there is NO mandatory restraining order ( and I had none of these documents when I filed and it worked) and the list of inaccuracies you have listed goes on and on.

What people need here is accurate, reliable and verified information, not hearsay. Now if I am wrong, I am more than willing to acknowledge it, but not because you have said it forcefully, but because you have PROVED what you have said with supporting documents ( you seem to understand the concept of proving a point with documents in USCIS cases, right?). Now please go ahead and attach any official list you have that supports your "high burden of proof theory" otherwise, sorry to break that to you but no matter how assertively you proclaim things, it does not make them true. Hammering things with no proof is NEVER how things are being demonstrated in any serious matter we both know it, so PROVE your point.or please just quit arguing on something you have no proof of.

On my side - not that you have noticed apparently - I have brought documents to the table proving my point and I have also proven that my sources/documents were accurate as it actually HAS WORKED. Now if you cannot at least give proof of what you say, it means that either you have heard this, did not verify sources and you repeat unverified information, or you have fabricated a theory and you spread this rumor making it sound as official information, with what it entails in terms of irresponsible behavior, So please either complete your profile and quote your sources or stop. You are endangering people's lives on this topic. If you want to deter people from applying for GC, go to the work visa forum there is no life threatening problems there.

1- Vermont SC backlog does NOT prove that it is difficult to prove DV, it only proves that Vermont is late. Period. Hence it does NOT support your DV-burden-of-proof-is-very-high theory, as one does not have anything to do with the second.

2- Should we talk about backlogs in family courts also? An extra fast divorce lasts 12 months, THEN ONLY USCIS processes the ROC case (processing time 6 months); so if everything goes on a breeze ( which is rare with an abuser), it already represents a 18 month wait time. No matter how hard you want to be right: you cannot go against 12+6=18 which represents TWICE the time of the worse case scenario for a ROC ( adjudication in 9 months)

3- For the umpteenth time the reasons why insisting on " it is easier for a DV victim to divorce before ROC" is DANGEROUS are the following:

-ALL sociology studies ( yes ALL of them) ran in the US have proven that the divorce/separation period triggers abusers and that most restraining orders violations happen in this period of time.

-Worse, these studies also have proven that divorce/separation actually is the period where most spouses of abusive partners are being killed or physically assaulted, thrown in jail etc.

- The reason why DV shelter houses addresses are kept secret is because the BEST way to protect a DV victim is NOT a restraining order (YEP, same studies). What truly protects a DV victim is to swiftly sever all possible means of contact/leverage between abuser and victim.

As a consequence, giving the abuser another means of leverage on the victim, by keeping the victim's immigration status pending during 12 more months, is not only the biggest absurdity ever heard, it is also considerably worsening the danger for DV victims and their kids. During these 12 months the abuser can - and more like WILL- try and derail his victim's immigration process by tripping her and/or by stretching the divorce process: Parental evaluation, fallacious restraining orders, threats, blackmail, etc, etc

Consequences can be devastating: Restraining order = ROC denied. So most abusers will use immigration to keep on threatening the victim, force them to accept to surrender legal custody or to consent to - Shared custody - Shared parenting (which implies that the DV victim is ordered by the court to live in the vicinity of her abuser: How's that for her security?) - No spousal support - No or limited child support, etc. (Just saw a DV victim have her daughter and newborn baby legally taken away from her by her abuser right after she delivered because the latter has been faster than her at filing a restraining order after - get this - she scratched his forearm -one inch scratch- while raising her arm over HER her face while he had cornered her and was slapping the Heck out of her (she was covered in bruises)).

The power game dramatically changes when the victim have the possibility to file for ROC BEFORE she takes on the divorce, first because if the abuser files for a fallacious TRO, she has a chance and the time to get it overturned before HS starts the deportation process, whereas if this happens before the ROC what do you think the abuser will do next? Send the copy of the TRO to the service center. What will the SC do? Deny the ROC right away. Then the victim ends up fighting in family court for her divorce, in civil court for her TRO and in immigration court for the denied ROC, WHO has the financial means and the strength to face that altogether? And WHO wants to risk to find themselves in this situation?

So please stop the nonsense. DV is not something anyone should play with for any reason. Lives are at stake, DV is just a huge problem in America and can touch anyone, me as well your sister/daughter/mother.

[belinda63 3,038]

My divorce took less than six months from filing to completion. Guess your source is wrong. Oh wait, you don't provide sources.

[AT20000 38]

My divorce took less than six months from filing to completion. Guess your source is wrong. Oh wait, you don't provide sources.

In which century and in which state? Because here you need to wait 6 months and go through mediation before you get to schedule a hearing.

Anyways, you guys can argue until your face turns blue, fact of the matter is that EVEN in your case, I would have waited 6 months for the divorce, plus 6 months for a normal ROC ( want sources? Go to USCIS website, click "timelines", an see for yourself)

6+6 = 12 months, this is more than THREE TIMES the time it took me to get approved ( took me 3 months and 2 weeks).

Oh wait! Do I need to provide sources also for the addition and the division or will you manage on your own?

Edited May 12, 2014 by AT20000

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

My divorce from my abusive spouse took 3 months. Each state has different laws, so you are making some amazing blanket statements here.

It went really well and actually seemed to calm him down off the ledge he was on. If we had stayed married, I have no doubt in my mind that he would have really hurt me, if not killed me in those 3 months.

How dare you make these assumptions about abused women and somehow suggest that they remain married to prevent abuse? Are you freaking kidding me?

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

How dare you make these assumptions about abused women and somehow suggest that they remain married to prevent abuse? Are you freaking kidding me?

Yes, stay to not be abused? Uhmm, what? I left to not be abused.

Also OP, is there a source for your assertion that having a restraining order filed against you while going through a divorce means your ROC is instantly denied?

Edited May 12, 2014 by KayDeeCee

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

In which century and in which state? Because here you need to wait 6 months and go through mediation before you get to schedule a hearing.

I filed for divorce in Los Angeles County. It took exactly 6 months plus one day for our marriage to be dissolved, and another month for the judgment to be entered. We were technically divorced from the earlier date, but we had to wait for the judgment should either one of us have wanted to be remarried. When we got the judgment, the date of divorce was 6 months and one day from filing.

[TBoneTX 45,288]

Post removed from thread, with acceptable portion returned below:

The point that were trying to make a couple of respondents, was "When in a situation of DV, it is faster and safer to get a divorce first and then to file for ROC, than to file for ROC directly and checking the extreme cruelty box as the burden of proof is very high, blah blah" So the point was not "what could you possibly say in order to support a fallacious theory?"

Even if I had divorced in 3 months ( which is totally impossible here in California as it is against the law) I would have waited 3 months for the divorce plus 6 months (regular timeline) for the ROC.

3+6 = 9 months Sorry to break that to you but this is still almost THREE TIMES what it took me to get my ROC approved under "extreme cruelty" so nice try but still not enough.

I am afraid that unless someone comes up with " I got divorced before I even thought that I should divorce" which of course would be ridiculous, it is going to be extremely difficult to continue arguing about " Divorce + ROC is faster and more secure, than filing for extreme cruelty directly" ( if someone has a case of course) with someone who got approved in about 3 months

Note: No personal attacks will be permitted, and any more will result in administrative action.

TBoneTX

VJ Moderation

Edited May 12, 2014 by TBoneTX