To all VJ ladies! Have you opted to NOT change your last name?

[hobbit 10]

@TeaCup: My fiancé was thinking of applying for an Irish passport post-9/11 because he was also flying around a lot, and wanted a non-American identity if ever confronted by hijackers. He compiled the paperwork and everything but never got round to it. It's hilarious, I know. I've told him he can never pull off an Irish accent, but he quipped, "I'm sure in those moments I can!"

I was on the K-1, and had to interview back in Singapore. I was asked about our age difference, and told them about the issues he and I have discussed. It was not as nerve-wrecking as I thought, although I get the impression they treated Singapore citizens better than from other nationals from South-East Asia. I think they also decide how much to grill you before the actual interview, based on the relationship history provided in the petition.

Thank you for the well wishes! My fiancé's sis actually brought her English husband with her from the UK on the spousal visa as well. She complained more about the paperwork than anything else. The interview, in her opinion, was a joke, because they asked her husband "What is the color of her eyes?" and she was just standing to the side of the counter!

We live in the suburbs, and I'm dependent on my fiancé to drive me around. I have signed up for a few writing workshops at the nearest university where I'm applying for grad school, so hopefully I'd get to make some friends!

@christen: Well said! It is actually pretty easy to change it, but not to change it back. And I don't see how a name change would indicate anything about the quality of the relationship.

@OnmywayID: There have been conflicting information about complicated paperwork, but that depends on the assumptions of billing companies etc. Nothing showing a marriage certificate cannot fix. It's good to hear from a man who's progressive!

[TeaCup 65]

@TeaCup: My fiancé was thinking of applying for an Irish passport post-9/11 because he was also flying around a lot, and wanted a non-American identity if ever confronted by hijackers. He compiled the paperwork and everything but never got round to it. It's hilarious, I know. I've told him he can never pull off an Irish accent, but he quipped, "I'm sure in those moments I can!"

I was on the K-1, and had to interview back in Singapore. I was asked about our age difference, and told them about the issues he and I have discussed. It was not as nerve-wrecking as I thought, although I get the impression they treated Singapore citizens better than from other nationals from South-East Asia. I think they also decide how much to grill you before the actual interview, based on the relationship history provided in the petition.

Thank you for the well wishes! My fiancé's sis actually brought her English husband with her from the UK on the spousal visa as well. She complained more about the paperwork than anything else. The interview, in her opinion, was a joke, because they asked her husband "What is the color of her eyes?" and she was just standing to the side of the counter!

We live in the suburbs, and I'm dependent on my fiancé to drive me around. I have signed up for a few writing workshops at the nearest university where I'm applying for grad school, so hopefully I'd get to make some friends!

@christen: Well said! It is actually pretty easy to change it, but not to change it back. And I don't see how a name change would indicate anything about the quality of the relationship.

@OnmywayID: There have been conflicting information about complicated paperwork, but that depends on the assumptions of billing companies etc. Nothing showing a marriage certificate cannot fix. It's good to hear from a man who's progressive!

@ Hobbit.

I guess that's a good reason to get another passport - Are you allowed have two passports from different countries?? I assumed I'd have to get an Irish passport everytime it runs out. It's nice that you guys have people close to you that went through the same thing and understands. I'm not so nervous about the interview yet, (maybe because it's months away)

You'll most likely make friends! and if not, you can come on here and be my friend! haha

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I took my husband's last name when we got married, so my name in USA is like Lingling Tan Merrytooth, for all US stuff -> bank accounts, mortgage, driver license...etc

In Singapore, I am still Tan Lingling (for my Identification Card and passport). It is too much trouble to change my name in Singapore.

I ran into some problems recently when my company HR booked my flight tickets for business trips.

My flight tickets were booked under my USA name Lingling Merrytooth, which did not match my passport name. Had to go through some troubles to change the flight tickets name.

Thus, I am going to add my USA name to my passport soon to avoid the name issue when booking flights.

[hobbit 10]

@ TeaCup: Haha! My fiancé and I are indeed thinking of visiting Europe next year. He's been to Ireland many times and likes it, so perhaps we can meet! My government does not allow dual nationality, so it's one passport or the other. It's true they don't have to know, but the form you sign to renew your passport is technically a sworn statement, and you can be jailed for perjury for lying about not acquiring citizenship elsewhere. There was actually a couple who reported their passports missing when it was actually retained by a resort in Malaysia, and both of them were sent to jail for lying! So I will keep my citizenship, and my fiancé thinks it's good for me to have it to retain access to subsidies for housing etc. should we decide to return. Are you planning to apply for US citizenship?

@ Merrytooth: I was wondering why you can't just choose which name to book your flight under, until I realized you have to produce your GC at passport control when entering the US? I am done with paperwork!

[Rose13 30]

I didn't want to lose my last name. It's one of the few legacies I have from my Indian great-grand parents who migrated almost 100 years ago. I just added his name to mine.

[berber_wife 90]

I'm not going to change.

I NEVER wanted to change. My name is too awesome to give up. Fortunately I'm going to marry someone who comes from a culture where the wife taking the husband's name is not common, so there's no expectation from him end.

The kids will have his name. It means more to him than to me and I grew up with a mom who had a different last name (parents still married, she just never changed) and it never caused problems.

[hobbit 10]

Update: Just married as of less than 3 hours ago! Judge said something about name change but I've been feigning ignorance over enquiries such as "Oh, what did the judge say you have to do?", "Isn't it automatic?" etc. Gonna enjoy the rest of the evening with my new siblings-in-law and husband!

[TeaCup 65]

Update: Just married as of less than 3 hours ago! Judge said something about name change but I've been feigning ignorance over enquiries such as "Oh, what did the judge say you have to do?", "Isn't it automatic?" etc. Gonna enjoy the rest of the evening with my new siblings-in-law and husband!

Congratulations!! Enjoy it as much as you can!!

Also, ignore the questions, everybody gets them!! lol

@ TeaCup: Haha! My fiancé and I are indeed thinking of visiting Europe next year. He's been to Ireland many times and likes it, so perhaps we can meet! My government does not allow dual nationality, so it's one passport or the other. It's true they don't have to know, but the form you sign to renew your passport is technically a sworn statement, and you can be jailed for perjury for lying about not acquiring citizenship elsewhere. There was actually a couple who reported their passports missing when it was actually retained by a resort in Malaysia, and both of them were sent to jail for lying! So I will keep my citizenship, and my fiancé thinks it's good for me to have it to retain access to subsidies for housing etc. should we decide to return. Are you planning to apply for US citizenship?

I would love to travel more around europe. If we are still here when you come to visit Ireland, that would be awesome. I'd love to meet others!!

I'm not sure what I'm going to do about citizenship, I haven't really thought about it and I don't really know how it works either. I mean, if I do get the 10 GC i'll then think about it. More than anything, I just want to go back with my husband and settle down.

[hobbit 10]

Congratulations!! Enjoy it as much as you can!!

Also, ignore the questions, everybody gets them!! lol

I would love to travel more around europe. If we are still here when you come to visit Ireland, that would be awesome. I'd love to meet others!!

I'm not sure what I'm going to do about citizenship, I haven't really thought about it and I don't really know how it works either. I mean, if I do get the 10 GC i'll then think about it. More than anything, I just want to go back with my husband and settle down.

Thank you for the well wishes! It feels a little surreal even after the weekend has passed and I keep on referring to him as my fiancé still! We are enjoying life together at home, and it doesn't feel any different from before we married. It feels good to see him with a wedding band after all these months

How does your husband spend his time in Ireland? I used to visit my fiancé in between semesters, while I was in university and that felt like a welcome break. After my final semester ended, I spent the summer here and it felt a little unsettling since I literally had all this unstructured time without a deadline.

I agree with your sentiments about citizenship. Just being together is what we wanted, and the long-distance routine made us sad even though we were lucky to travel to each other's locale pretty often.

Edited November 18, 2013 by hobbit

[Merrytooth 5,748]

@ Merrytooth: I was wondering why you can't just choose which name to book your flight under, until I realized you have to produce your GC at passport control when entering the US? I am done with paperwork!

My SSN, GC, US documents are in my married name.

And my company uses a centralized booking system to book flights and hotel. Of course, they are not aware that my passport is still in my maiden name.

Passport is not needed for domestic flight, I could just use my driving license for boarding.

But for International flight, flight ticket name has to match passport name.

When re-enter US, I need to produce my Green Card and passport. The name difference is no big deal, only need to show them my marriage certificate.

I only intend to add my married name to passport, not in identification card.

Singapore does not allow dual citizenship.. and not in the near future I guess...

I might take up US citizenship in the future, for intestate succession (estate tax) reasons.

"The marital deduction, however, does not apply when the spouse who inherits isn’t a U.S. citizen, even if the spouse is a permanent U.S. resident. The federal government doesn’t want someone who isn’t a citizen to inherit a large amount of money, pay no estate tax, and then leave the country to return to his or her native land."

You should go read it up on the topic too.

[Pitaya 2,577]

My wife didn't add my last name to hers. Generally, there is enough confusion with Chinese names anyway. In Chinese culture, as in some others, a person's surname is first and the given name is last; and are expressed in Pinyin to change the Chinese sounds to Latin script. As far as I am concerned, it is her choice is she wants to use my name. If she did, and hyphenate it, it could look like a real bowl of alphabet soup. But then, that is another story about noodle soup.....

You say tomaato, I say tomato, you say potaato, I say potatoe......

YMMV.

[hobbit 10]

My SSN, GC, US documents are in my married name.

And my company uses a centralized booking system to book flights and hotel. Of course, they are not aware that my passport is still in my maiden name.

Passport is not needed for domestic flight, I could just use my driving license for boarding.

But for International flight, flight ticket name has to match passport name.

When re-enter US, I need to produce my Green Card and passport. The name difference is no big deal, only need to show them my marriage certificate.

I only intend to add my married name to passport, not in identification card.

Singapore does not allow dual citizenship.. and not in the near future I guess...

I might take up US citizenship in the future, for intestate succession (estate tax) reasons.

"The marital deduction, however, does not apply when the spouse who inherits isn’t a U.S. citizen, even if the spouse is a permanent U.S. resident. The federal government doesn’t want someone who isn’t a citizen to inherit a large amount of money, pay no estate tax, and then leave the country to return to his or her native land."

You should go read it up on the topic too.

[hobbit 10]

@ Merrytooth: Thanks for the heads up. Now I have an incentive to take up citizenship! But that's a few years down the road though. My husband and I will figure out what our options are, since we have to re-do his estate planning now that we're married. What bums me out about giving up Singapore citizenship is that it's irrevocable and being subject to visitors' rules such as length of stay etc. I am hoping that by the time I'm eligible to apply, dual nationality can be a real possibility for us. I think the tide is turning in favor of overseas Singaporeans whom they wouldn't want to lose. How long have you been in the US?

[TeaCup 65]

Thank you for the well wishes! It feels a little surreal even after the weekend has passed and I keep on referring to him as my fiancé still! We are enjoying life together at home, and it doesn't feel any different from before we married. It feels good to see him with a wedding band after all these months

How does your husband spend his time in Ireland? I used to visit my fiancé in between semesters, while I was in university and that felt like a welcome break. After my final semester ended, I spent the summer here and it felt a little unsettling since I literally had all this unstructured time without a deadline.

I agree with your sentiments about citizenship. Just being together is what we wanted, and the long-distance routine made us sad even though we were lucky to travel to each other's locale pretty often.

Yeah, I'm not a jewellery person but wearing my wedding band makes me feel special!! lol

He goes to the gym, reads ALOT, guitar, plays video games (boys!) He takes walks around the area alot as he loves the view, mountains of green! He's taking it easy because he knows as soon as he goes back to the US it's time to find a job again lol

I loved travelling to the US (long vacations!), i'm the only one in my HUGE immediate family to ever have done it so when I bring back American candy etc my family love me, especially my nieces and nephews! the longest we'd ever been apart after we 1st met was a little over 3 months (and it was awful) If we had to be apart again for even a week I don't think I could handle it, I'm done with the long-distance skype calls! haha

We just recently took a vacation there for a month in october, his father got re-married and there were a few birthdays so it was nice!

[hobbit 10]

Yeah, I'm not a jewellery person but wearing my wedding band makes me feel special!! lol

He goes to the gym, reads ALOT, guitar, plays video games (boys!) He takes walks around the area alot as he loves the view, mountains of green! He's taking it easy because he knows as soon as he goes back to the US it's time to find a job again lol

I loved travelling to the US (long vacations!), i'm the only one in my HUGE immediate family to ever have done it so when I bring back American candy etc my family love me, especially my nieces and nephews! the longest we'd ever been apart after we 1st met was a little over 3 months (and it was awful) If we had to be apart again for even a week I don't think I could handle it, I'm done with the long-distance skype calls! haha

We just recently took a vacation there for a month in october, his father got re-married and there were a few birthdays so it was nice!

Must be a long way to travel from Ireland! I'm also the first in my family to visit the US. How huge is huge? I'm an only child and the youngest at home, so there's no one to buy candy for lol. I bought a lot of sunscreen to take back with me to Singapore, after realizing just how cheap cosmetics are here! Which part of the US will you two be settling in? Suburban living?