Feeling very low and hopeless.. would appreciate some advice..

[Ghoul 0]

I don't know if I am posting in the wrong place or not.. I have "lurked" for a long time, but this is the first time I have posted..
Initially, I did have a lot of hope and excitement at filing for the CR-1 visa, or marrying within the US and doing the AOS..
But looking at all of the fine print, there are so, so many delays, and so, so many reasons why you can be denied...
I'm starting to lose hope.. and I havent even started this..
We have a lot of things that can be used against us, such as our age difference, he is 19, I am 29.. I have been married and divorced once, and have young kids.. he doesnt work, nor has he, he is very close with his family and still lives at home.. I have been told their home is mine and I am always welcome, and I do have others who are close US friends of mine who would gladly sponsor me.. but I'm beginning to realize that all of this seems so negative and will be frowned upon.
I know that even many of you may frown upon our relationship for the age difference alone.. yes, it is complicated.. I've been called horrible things from people who don't know us..
I feel so sick to my stomach with stress and worry thinking that this is all an impossible dream...

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

US immigration is long but it does work out. There is no need to feel desperate. The time will go by and then you will be together and everything will be fine. You are from a low-fraud country so the age difference probably will not matter one whit.

That being said, if you want come advice, your fiance is very young. I am sure he is a good man, but are you sure someone who has never had a job or lived on his own is ready to be a father? Are you ready to uproot your family to find out? Have you considered having him move to Australia first, getting a job, moving in with you? That might be an easier transition, and you could do that for a few years, and if you still want to move back to the US, you could move back together.

Edited November 3, 2013 by Harpa Timsah

[pro_star 52]

K1 they seem to be processing rather quickly if you are worried about the wait. Makes planning some big fancy wedding a bit more difficult with time constraints but oh well.

(And then you just file your aos once you're married. Going down to marry then filing aos without having a k1 or other visa may be a bit of a no no from what I hear)

Your fiancé's family can co sponsor if they make above that income threshold. If you're taking the kids with you....you have to take that into account. You'll also need to go through your custody agreements - make sure there will be no issues there.

There are plenty of k1ers out there where the petitioner (USC) has issues with working or lives at home or so on.

Big hugs to you hun. Don't be discouraged. We're all here for you.

[codie 7]

the age difference shouldnt be an issue,my friend married a woman 10 years older and they have been married now for 30 years and happy ! The issue i see is that he is unemployed and living with his family ,so they will look at finances and whether you and your kids moving there will be a public dependency issue since he cant support you financially ? Maybe it would be better for him to move down under rather than uproot the kids ? Good advice from Harpa ! you could always think about moving to the US once you are settled into married life and he has his feet grounded into a job and being a step dad ?

[Ghoul 0]

Thank you for the advice everyone! I really appreciate it..
As for my kidlets, they do not and will not have passports, as in Australia both parents have to sign the application and their father refuses to.
Also, as I have been kicked out of the family home and reduced to couch surfing as I have no family or friends here, if I took him to court for custody, he would win in a heart beat.
So theres nothing I can do in regards to having even shared custody with my kidlets. The system here is screwed.

I know that my other halfs parents, although supportive, would prefer not to co-sponsor for the simple fact that they're extremely private and are distrusting of the system and giving up all of their earning and tax privacy.. so I will need to stick with asking my friends.

*sigh* those who say money cant buy happiness havent been inlove with someone an ocean away!

[lierre 224]

Odds seem to be against you, OP. I'm thinking it might be better if he moves to Australia to be with you. Obviously, he doesn't have a lot holding him back.

[Ryan H 3,826]

Moved from Off Topic to General Immigration-Related Discussion.

[Darnell 8,479]

Odds seem to be against you, OP. I'm thinking it might be better if he moves to Australia to be with you. Obviously, he doesn't have a lot holding him back.

I echo this. Have another think, make that happen this season. Plan to live in OZ another 10 years.

[JohnR! 5,495]

US immigration is long but it does work out. There is no need to feel desperate. The time will go by and then you will be together and everything will be fine. You are from a low-fraud country so the age difference probably will not matter one whit.

That being said, if you want come advice, your fiance is very young. I am sure he is a good man, but are you sure someone who has never had a job or lived on his own is ready to be a father? Are you ready to uproot your family to find out? Have you considered having him move to Australia first, getting a job, moving in with you? That might be an easier transition, and you could do that for a few years, and if you still want to move back to the US, you could move back together.

This one gets my vote for sensibility.

[Jawaree 718]

Don't see the big difference in age, I say let him come Down Under on a tourist visa

then U get married,jobs R there and the standard of living is good too, If he has any

criminal issues and have served over 12 mths , he will need to apply for a visa abd

disclose it..they do find out..yep...if he don't, and can just enter as USC visitor ..not a good

idea to disclose he'll be getting married....Its time he now leaves home get his own

life with U so if he wants kids U can still give him his babies...best wishes.

Since he's not worked get him on your turf to see what kind of man he will be,

don't uproot your kids to live with inlaws, it wont last. Never move in with a man

along mommy & daddy.

Edited November 6, 2013 by Jawaree

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

Same here...

This one gets my vote for sensibility.

[angeldaemon13 42]

I met my USC hubby online. I was a single mom of twins. We "dated" online for over a year and when it came time to meet each other, he came to me. After many repeated Visitor Visa extensions, we decided to get married and he became an LPR. He had decided it was best because my twins were 6 years old and he couldn't and wouldn't ask me to uproot my twins from the home base and wreck their roots.

Now they are older, 19 years old. We do have a son together who is now dual and we have agreed to raise him on American soil. Point being....he came to us as it was easier. If things didn't work out, he was single with no kids and only he had to return home. No harm no foul. But it all worked out in the end. :-)

[Darnell 8,479]

I think a 19 year old USCitizen male could have a blast in Australia, being married to a 29-year old Aussie female

.

It's really a better life there, when comparing the two places.

[Kajikit 65]

The age difference between you is your business... but you say there's essentially nothing holding you back in Australia but there is - your children. If you go to America now they won't be able to go with you, they won't be able to visit without passports and their father's consent, and they'll have to grow up knowing that you are entirely gone from their lives. If you stay in Australia, and your love joins you there, at least you'll be in the same country. There's plenty of young men and women who come to Australia on short-term working visas, and at nineteen your new love is in the right age group to get one. If he moves down under you can spend a few years deepening your relationship and gathering enough evidence to satisfy anyone, and then you can worry about what to do after that.