My wife is confusing me

[Jeremy 2 0]

I am a foreign trained physcian who happened to be married to my wife who is a nurse by profession and US citizen. After I was in US soil with K1 visa 5 months back I was totally concentrated on my board exam; we didnt have a formal wedding with friends and colleagues. I havent even seen the life outside. Though initially we have agreed to do so; she was not being supportive and helpful. She told me I have to look a place to deal with my exam in a short time so that we will have the life she promised. I went to my brothers and sister in another state and fixed on my exam. While I was in the middle of my preparation she start to irritate easily and never willing to talk to me nearly for a month. When I went back for finger print she told me she is seeing someone else but only till I finish my exam( she initially told me she will move out and rent her own house, currently she is leaving with a lady roommate whom I suspect she has an affair). On our interview day; she told me we have no photographs, bank statement or lease papers and they will going to give us another appointment. I was trying to handle the whole bizzare behaviour after I was done with my exam but she was calculative and went long way on the bad track. I was shocked; I asked her what happened to all those evidences; she said they all evaporated and laughed at me. We went to USCIS office; the personel started to ask me few questions and finally concluded that I was granted and will notify me in days about the result.

Three days later they sent us a mail conffirming it was approved. I went back to my family to finish the last parts of my exam. Two weeks later it was updated that the green card has been sent to our mail with a track number which I later confirmed delivered. Now she start to be more bizzare and to tell me stories she never told me before. She said she had a boy friend for 15 years who left her alone went back to his motherland(which I believe is the right decision) and more things. She said she is not willing to answer my call any more and not ever come to her place she will notify police and deport me. She said "all males are the same and I will show you who I am". She said she didnt get the green card and if I am interested I can apply to USCIS but not through her adress any more. I am questioning her sanity but as same time I am also not sure what will be my next step. I didnt know she was so calculative and doing all the steps denieying me evidences for the bonafide and continue doing so. I am to take the hardest exams in my life but she continue to be not supportive but rather destrcutive. I was sick 3 times in between but I was trying to take only over the counters medications.She was not supporting me financially; I have to borrow for all my costs from family. I dont even have an ID; she tell lots of reasons not to have.I was begging to make things right but all result not improvement but worsening of the situaltion. I am now deciding to move back to my home country and live a healthy live.But family and friends are telling me to stay and see what will happen.

I am not good with legal paths and I know she will do everything she can, as she said, to take her revenge from all men. I feel my life is in a hook. I dont know why also the governement give so much power for individulas on others where there is barely difficult to give an evidence for abuse and manipulation. I am tired now and all my visions for America are fadding; I see it now as a country where people have more right over me because they stay longer that me. It is a place where they have every right to send me back whenever they want after using me as a tissue paper. A place where if they follow the rules and destroy the evidences; they have more power than the rules also. I am tired now... Finally decided to move back than to see such misery; I am here looking a better life with someone I thought I have life in the future, but turn out to be a nightmare. I am not also someone who takes advantages over others or who correct his path running over them; though they deserve it for what they are doing. I was here only for peaceful life.. The worst thing is she has the upper hand not only now but for my future returs to this country; where is the equality USA? Where is the freedom? It appears for me the jungle rule speaks louder than the court room talks. It is all nightmare .... Thank you for your time.

[Ryan H 3,821]

Moved from K1 Process & Procedures to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

I'm sorry to hear your marriage seems falling a part because she wants take a revenge to all men in the world just because an old boyfriend left her. If you don't mind my asking, how long you've dated her before decide took a chance for K-1 visa route?

[Ontarkie 14,394]

~~One post removed to Edit out inappropriate comment, Post returned below with out said comment.~~

Gary and Alla, on 02 Nov 2013 - 1:00 PM, said:
Why are you confused? Your wife is divorcing you, she is with someone else, maybe a man, maybe a woman. Doesn't matter.

Apply to replace the green card (I-90) Yes it will cost you some money. File an AR-11 for the change of address. Get a divorce. Or let her file for one...that saves you money and time. Apply for lifting conditions when the time comes and see if you can do so by yourself. Probably yes.

File the I-90, get a new Green card and focus on your exams. You will get over this sooner or later. Sooner is better.

[jaycali 415]

I am not good with legal paths and I know she will do everything she can, as she said, to take her revenge from all men. I feel my life is in a hook. I dont know why also the governement give so much power for individulas on others where there is barely difficult to give an evidence for abuse and manipulation. I am tired now and all my visions for America are fadding; I see it now as a country where people have more right over me because they stay longer that me. It is a place where they have every right to send me back whenever they want after using me as a tissue paper. A place where if they follow the rules and destroy the evidences; they have more power than the rules also. I am tired now... Finally decided to move back than to see such misery; I am here looking a better life with someone I thought I have life in the future, but turn out to be a nightmare. I am not also someone who takes advantages over others or who correct his path running over them; though they deserve it for what they are doing. I was here only for peaceful life.. The worst thing is she has the upper hand not only now but for my future returs to this country; where is the equality USA? Where is the freedom? It appears for me the jungle rule speaks louder than the court room talks. It is all nightmare .... Thank you for your time.

So what is your question?

Since you came on a K-1 and got AOS approved you have 2 options:

1. Get a divorce and stay.

2. Get a divorce and leave.

That's up to you. The I-751 divorce waiver is specifically in place so that bitter ex spouses can't hold your legal status hostage. Once your divorce is final, she is not part of your legal status anymore, and unless she has specific proof that you used her, the USCIS will take everything she says with a big grain of salt.

Edited November 2, 2013 by jaycali

[Jeremy 2 0]

So what is your question?

Since you came on a K-1 and got AOS approved you have 2 options:

1. Get a divorce and stay.

2. Get a divorce and leave.

That's up to you. The I-751 divorce waiver is specifically in place so that bitter ex spouses can't hold your legal status hostage. Once your divorce is final, she is not part of your legal status anymore, and unless she has specific proof that you used her, the USCIS will take everything she says with a big grain of salt.

Thank you for your response

Do you think staying and facing the truth will reward at the end? I am sure she will fabricate any possible reason to come after me. She has already impersonated me with her x. Divorcing and staying but what will I do at the end of the two years? If they are to take the words of my wife, as you said for granted; where is my freedom? It doesnt make sense to let my two professional years hanging on the wall for the outcome I am not sure of. As you said divorcing and moving back is the best option; at least am sure of the outcome. There is no other way also I can adjust here with out some one who want to take revenge from every men.

[Jawaree 718]

Two sides to every story dude , but what caused the break-down?

if U have moved in with family to study away from her she could feel

like being used to get U there to be with family & that would not spell

bonafide...Lots of men cant deal with strong independent women especially

coming from certain customs...also some females can be conniving & cruel

but two sides to be blamed. ppl not getting to know each other enough

for commitments, maybe she saw a doctor for bragging rights , and U saw a

GC for a better life ...oh well

[jaycali 415]

Thank you for your response

Do you think staying and facing the truth will reward at the end? I am sure she will fabricate any possible reason to come after me. She has already impersonated me with her x. Divorcing and staying but what will I do at the end of the two years? If they are to take the words of my wife, as you said for granted; where is my freedom? It doesnt make sense to let my two professional years hanging on the wall for the outcome I am not sure of. As you said divorcing and moving back is the best option; at least am sure of the outcome. There is no other way also I can adjust here with out some one who want to take revenge from every men.

Ok, you're confusing different things here. Your freedom is in that she can't hold your resident status hostage. This is called an I-751 divorce waiver. It is in place for these exact situations. She can call the USCIS tomorrow and say "my ex husband married me only for a green card!" and the USCIS will say "Ok, do you have any evidence to support this?" The USCIS is used to bitter ex spouses calling them, and the truth is, unless that ex spouse has evidence, there is very little the USCIS can or will do about it. In an ROC case, the USCIS wants to see your evidence that you married in good faith. They don't care about her hearsay. Obviously, if she has a text message from you saying "I only married you for a green card." They'll certainly can and will hold it against you, but if she has nothing, they take it for what it is - hearsay.

Now, it seems to me that you are worried about removing conditions, which I understand. But you seem to be confusing ROC with limited freedom. Let us put this into perspective. The 2 year conditional green card was introduced as a measure to limit the ease of marrying someone for a green acrd only. Estimates vary, but there is little doubt that a substantial number of immigrants have come to the US through sham marriages. This is a very serious immigration issue as well as a very serious national security issue. To avoid USC spouses to be able to hold their foreign spouses hostage, two waivers were introduced to waive the joint filing requirement, 1. A waiver in the event of an abusive USC spouse, and 2. A waiver in the event of divorce.

What more freedom are you looking for? It seems like your ex is the person limiting your freedom here.. All the USCIS asks is that you show evidence that your marriage was real when first entered into.

Edited November 2, 2013 by jaycali

[Jeremy 2 0]

Ok, you're confusing different things here. Your freedom is in that she can't hold your resident status hostage. This is called an I-751 divorce waiver. It is in place for these exact situations. She can call the USCIS tomorrow and say "my ex husband married me only for a green card!" and the USCIS will say "Ok, do you have any evidence to support this?" The USCIS is used to bitter ex spouses calling them, and the truth is, unless that ex spouse has evidence, there is very little the USCIS can or will do about it. In an ROC case, the USCIS wants to see your evidence that you married in good faith. They don't care about her hearsay. Obviously, if she has a text message from you saying "I only married you for a green card." They'll certainly can and will hold it against you, but if she has nothing, they take it for what it is - hearsay.

Now, it seems to me that you are worried about removing conditions, which I understand. But you seem to be confusing ROC with limited freedom. Let us put this into perspective. The 2 year conditional green card was introduced as a measure to limit the ease of marrying someone for a green acrd only. Estimates vary, but there is little doubt that a substantial number of immigrants have come to the US through sham marriages. This is a very serious immigration issue as well as a very serious national security issue. To avoid USC spouses to be able to hold their foreign spouses hostage, two waivers were introduced to waive the joint filing requirement, 1. A waiver in the event of an abusive USC spouse, and 2. A waiver in the event of divorce.

What more freedom are you looking for? It seems like your ex is the person limiting your freedom here.. All the USCIS asks is that you show evidence that your marriage was real when first entered into.

So you are telling me I better file a divorce case sooner than later? I was thinking of abandoning the green card officially and move back to my contry.Will that have effect on my future return?

[MrMadCat 18]

So you are telling me I better file a divorce case sooner than later? I was thinking of abandoning the green card officially and move back to my contry.Will that have effect on my future return?

Jaycali gave some excellent advice. Yes you should pursue a divorce if you wish to ROC. It seems your wife is not interested in this relationship at all anymore, and you will need to be divorced to file a waiver for your ROC if you are filing single. She doesn't seem like she's going to support you through ROC by the sounds of it. If you also feel this relationship/marriage just isn't going to work at all in future, then the only choice you have is to divorce and start building your life on your own. As said, you want to be divorced before your conditional greencard expires, or it could get a bit more complicated.

Ask yourself these questions....

Did you first enter the marriage based on love and it was bona fide?

Is this marriage pretty much over as it stands today?

Do you want to stay in the US and keep building a life for yourself here?

If yes to all 3 questions, then divorce and file a ROC waiver based on divorce.

Edited November 3, 2013 by MrMadCat

[jaycali 415]

So you are telling me I better file a divorce case sooner than later? I was thinking of abandoning the green card officially and move back to my contry.Will that have effect on my future return?

This depends entirely on whether you want to keep living in the US or not. If you want to keep living in the US, file for divorce ASAP. Once your divorce is final, filed for removal of conditions with a divorce waiver. As long as you have evidence that your marriage was entered into in good faith, your conditions will be lifted and you'll have the 10 year green card. Your green card is not pegged to your marriage, it's based on whether the marriage was in good faith when entered into.

The key to filing ROC is that you file before the expiration date of your 2 year green card. If you're filing with a divorce waiver, you can file at any time before that date, as long as your divorce is final.

The bottom line is there are only two ways of filing to lift conditions, either jointly, or with a waiver. Unless your spouse is dead or abusive, the only waiver applicable is a divorce waiver, which requires you to be divorced.

If you want to abandon your green card, simply travel home. Abandon your green card at the nearest US embassy or consulate. This will have no effect on any future travel or visits to the US.

If you want to apply for a visa again in the future, here is what the CO will see: 1. Jeremy married an American and moved to the US to be with her. 2. Jeremy and American's marriage did not work out. 3. Jeremy voluntarily moved back home..... Nothing illegal, nothing suspicious, no problem.

Edited November 3, 2013 by jaycali

[Boiler 45,931]

There is nothing to stop you going home, seems the obvious solution.

[Shiobhan 235]

I say head on back home & file dor divorce

[Brian1967## 119]

I agree you can file for divorce and stay, or go home, as long as you have proof for bona fide marriage you can apply to ROC on your own after the divorce is final. USCIS does look at weather there is proof for fraud BUT and I say a BIG BUT, if your spouse will try to claim fraud she can write in a letter all she wants, but proof will be needed from a third party that is not of relation and is from a court official or from a law enforcement agency there are many indicators for fraud to USCIS and the interview to remove conditions will not be a walk in the park, so to speak.

[Boiler 45,931]

From what the OP said they never really lived together.