The Do's And Don'ts Of Sending Email

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The Do's and Don'ts of Sending E-Mail

1. Don't thank me. If you're my boss and appreciate something I've done, that's cool. Otherwise, bag it. I hate being thanked, particularly with a "thx." And don't copy me when you thank someone else, either, unless they saved a little girl from a well or something. I'm busy dealing with the other 150 e-mails I got today.

2. Don't involve me in a CC circle jerk. Some people think out loud on issues of moderate import for 300 e-mails. And I'm in on all of them, because some doofus copied me on e-mail number one. E-mail should be used to inform, to resolve an issue, to end a conversation, to pass along a job, or to get out of something minor, without the need for personal interaction. But don't use a toothpick to dig a hole.

3. In fact, don't copy me on something that's just going to annoy me. If something is going wrong and you need to unload, be a man: Call me. Otherwise, you're using the electronic bypass to avoid my 18-wheeler as we trundle down the information superhighway.

4. But don't forget to copy me if I should know about it. That's right. I'm inconsistent. Figure it out. Knowing when to get people involved and when to leave them out is a basic management skill.

5. Don't make me think about anything for more than 15 seconds. Send me 12 long single-spaced paragraphs and I'll send you the bill for a bump up on my bifocal prescription.

6. Don't expect a response to every e-mail. I don't expect you to answer me all the time, either. I put the letters NRN—no reply necessary—at the end of most of my e-mails. It cuts down on "Thx" and "Will do" and "No problem" replies from people who think I want them.

7. E-mail is perhaps the least congenial forum for anything funny, dire, or personal. Unless you're an Oscar-winning screenwriter, play it straight. No sarcasm. No emotions. Anything really worth saying should be said on the phone. Or in person.

8. If there's an article with my name in it or a picture of my dog humping a fire hydrant, send it along. But sucking up with pointless "thought you might like this" e-mails is crying wolf: Next time you send one that really matters, I'll be that much more likely to ignore it.

9. Go easy on the CC field, especially when you're venting or playing politics. The jokers you copy won't always read to the bottom of an e-mail chain, and if a circle jerk gets started (see rule 2), you could be looking for a new job.

10. No dirty pictures. Except, you know, really good ones. Even then, make them safe for work. Hot women spotted on a business trip? Okay. Jpegs from sluttynurses.com? Not okay.

11. Unless you're indispensable, don't get too personal. Sure, the EVP of Human Resources is e-mailing his wine broker 20 times a day, but selective enforcement of laws is what totalitarian states are all about.

12. Business language is English. Weird gizmotic lingo is for MySpace or AIM. We're at the office, man. Write like a smart person, not a vowel-challenged moron.

13. Don't be too boring, though. With close business associates, you may toss in a random "Dude," even. People like to be called dude, especially stone square pegs in Accounting and Finance. It makes them feel like hipsters.

14. Don't become a zombie. It is now possible to conduct virtually your entire career like a boneless homunculus, basking in the glow of a computer screen. But come on. It's nice outside. Give it a try. Oh yeah, and ...

15. Leave your BlackBerry at home when you go to the beach. And turn it off at night, too. You have other hardware that needs attention after hours, don't you, Dude?

Submitted by Pasadena Phil