Problem with ex

[Hank_ 9,174]

Hi, i have tried to be civil on him but he is such a selfish guy who has a small mind. I got threats from him through messages and spreading issues about me Nd bragging that if I'll get back home to PHilippines, my gc will be cancelled and i will no longer can enter US. So i don't think to talk to him and being civil works. So i d ather go on my way. And vesides, my desires for the kids to come here is not just for my own sake but for my kids future as well. He should be broad minded but sad.

Sounds like someone to avoid, not someone to try to sooth his ruffled feathers.

Who has the kids?

[SoCalMark 49]

.. time for him to "talk to the hand".

NIIICE ... hahaha

[Caryh 5,206]

You actually do have problems. These are not children born out of wedlock, and no annulment has terminated his parental authority. As a Philippines citizen, you are still married to him, and he's the father of the children. The Philippines does not allow divorce between Philippines citizens and will not recognise a divorce obtained in another country between Philippines citizens. It would be different had you divorced him after obtaining citizenship in the USA, which you currently are not. Theoretically he can bring a case of bigamy against you, for marrying when you are already married. None of this will affect your status as a green card holder, but it does create a problem when trying to get your children or ever returning to the Philippines. Also no Philippines court has given you total custody of the children.

As for taking the children out of the country, below is the problem you're going to run into, because no court has terminated his parental rights. These are legitimate children born within the marriage. A marriage which is still valid by the laws of your country.

Per the family code of the Philippines

Art. 210. Parental authority and responsibility may not be renounced or transferred except in the cases authorized by law. (313a)

Art. 211. The father and the mother shall jointly exercise parental authority over the persons of their common children. In case of disagreement, the father's decision shall prevail, unless there is a judicial order to the contrary.

Art. 228. Parental authority terminates permanently:

(1) Upon the death of the parents;
(2) Upon the death of the child; or
(3) Upon emancipation of the child. (327a)

If none of these actions have been made upon the father, given the current marriage status, the father's right to authority prevails.

Art. 229. Unless subsequently revived by a final judgment, parental authority also terminates:

(1) Upon adoption of the child;
(2) Upon appointment of a general guardian;
(3) Upon judicial declaration of abandonment of the child in a case filed for the purpose;
(4) Upon final judgment of a competent court divesting the party concerned of parental authority; or
(5) Upon judicial declaration of absence or incapacity of the person exercising parental authority. (327a)

[Greenbaum 12,259]

There are many post on this subject and most are saying that there is not a divorce in the Philippines and I am hear to say there is a divorce allowed and recognized by the Filipino government. The divorce is a Muslim Sharia Divorce and it is recognized, as I know from personal experience. If indeed she received a divorce in a Sharia Court in the Philippines then she is free to take her children and not look back. But if she did not then she has a number of other avenues to go down. She does have legal custody under the Family Act as some have pointed out.

Please people stop saying there is no divorce in the Philippines because there is but under certain circumstances of which not all Filipinos can avail themselves to.

[Hank_ 9,174]

96% catholic, 2-3% protestant.. so 98-99% of the time ya need an annulment (or a divorce in the USA petitioned by the USC).

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Parental authority and custody is exercised jointly unless husband and wife are separated (judicially or de facto) and are decreed custody over children by the court. The Court shall take into account all relevant considerations, especially the choice of the child over seven years of age, unless the parent chosen is unfit.

Divorce is not recognized as a means of legally dissolving marriages between Filipino nationals even one legally recognized abroad. As far as the Philippine jurisdiction is concerned, you are still legally married. Unless, divorce is acquired after the Filipino spouse is naturalized, hence, no longer Filipino.

If you yourself are filing to petition your children to come to the US and they are subsequently approved and granted visas, and if it is by your children's own choice to come and live here with you-- your husband cannot stop them from coming here. There does not seem to be an item in the forms relevant to acquiring the other parent's consent when filing for petitions so you should be ok.

Sorry about your ex, you can't shake off that mentality over there that people living int he US are swimming in money. Good luck and keep us posted.

There is a story on locked up abroad . Dealing with the Ex.

http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/locked-up-abroad/videos/forbidden-love/?videoDetect=t%252Ct

Edited October 31, 2013 by The conciliator

[Caryh 5,206]

There are many post on this subject and most are saying that there is not a divorce in the Philippines and I am hear to say there is a divorce allowed and recognized by the Filipino government. The divorce is a Muslim Sharia Divorce and it is recognized, as I know from personal experience. If indeed she received a divorce in a Sharia Court in the Philippines then she is free to take her children and not look back. But if she did not then she has a number of other avenues to go down. She does have legal custody under the Family Act as some have pointed out.

Please people stop saying there is no divorce in the Philippines because there is but under certain circumstances of which not all Filipinos can avail themselves to.

In general there is no divorce in the Philippines, but yes 5% of the population is Islamic and could have a Sharia Divorce. The op, who appears to have posted from two different accounts posted this " I was married to him and filed divorce here." which leads me to believe she got divorced in the USA, because that is where she is now. That divorce would not be recognized in the Philippines, unless like you mentioned, it was a Sharia divorce. But a foreign divorce would still first have to go through the procedure of of being recognized by the Philippines courts first, making sure it was done proper under the laws where it was given. Which means Sharia divorce must be legal in the location which gave the divorce, and both parties would need to be muslim. You see how the odds of this divorce being legal and recognized in the Philippines is getting smaller and smaller?

[Greenbaum 12,259]

In general there is no divorce in the Philippines, but yes 5% of the population is Islamic and could have a Sharia Divorce. The op, who appears to have posted from two different accounts posted this " I was married to him and filed divorce here." which leads me to believe she got divorced in the USA, because that is where she is now. That divorce would not be recognized in the Philippines, unless like you mentioned, it was a Sharia divorce. But a foreign divorce would still first have to go through the procedure of of being recognized by the Philippines courts first, making sure it was done proper under the laws where it was given. Which means Sharia divorce must be legal in the location which gave the divorce, and both parties would need to be muslim.

I agree with you that the OP who is Filipino living in the USA cannot file a divorce on a Filipino who remains in the Philippines. Like you said, it will not be recognized by any Filipino governmental office. The OP has only one option and that is she needs to be in contact with DSWD and seek through them a remedy. This is not going to be done in one week so she needs to adopt a more realistic view. Legally she does have a leg to stand on but it depends on her tenacity, DSWD and what the X is willing to do.

I hope the OP continues to update this post as it will be a good learning exercise.

Good luck to her,

------------------

"You see how the odds of this divorce being legal and recognized in the Philippines is getting smaller and smaller?" - I do not. The only way that will happen is if the Filipino government changes the law that allows this and I know that will not happen as hell would be paid by the Muslim loose infractions who will inflect harm to Filipino's and the Government. Sharia divorce is here to stay. I think there will be a day when divorce is legal for all Filipino's, but only if the Church wanes on it stand and their grip on the Filipino mindset. It will take a "power to the people" moment for these changes.

[Caryh 5,206]

I agree with you that the OP who is Filipino living in the USA cannot file a divorce on a Filipino who remains in the Philippines. Like you said, it will not be recognized by any Filipino governmental office. The OP has only one option and that is she needs to be in contact with DSWD and seek through them a remedy. This is not going to be done in one week so she needs to adopt a more realistic view. Legally she does have a leg to stand on but it depends on her tenacity, DSWD and what the X is willing to do.

I hope the OP continues to update this post as it will be a good learning exercise.

Good luck to her,

------------------

"You see how the odds of this divorce being legal and recognized in the Philippines is getting smaller and smaller?" - I do not. The only way that will happen is if the Filipino government changes the law that allows this and I know that will not happen as hell would be paid by the Muslim loose infractions who will inflect harm to Filipino's and the Government. Sharia divorce is here to stay. I think there will be a day when divorce is legal for all Filipino's, but only if the Church wanes on it stand and their grip on the Filipino mindset. It will take a "power to the people" moment for these changes.

Yep, she's going to need to work through DSWD there to get permission to take the kids out. I'm not sure how the entire (assumed) divorced in the USA then remarried thing is going to play out. Sounds like the kids are over 7 years of age, and he's taken physical custody of one of them. Or did the older one run back home to the OP's mother? This is certainly not a DIY case. Legal representation in the Philippines is called for. Maybe she can get the courts to declare she has sole custody due to defacto separation from her spouse. But at the current time, she doesn't have physical custody either. Maybe her mother could be officially declared the guardian and help get the DSWD permit for the children to leave?

Edited November 1, 2013 by Caryh

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Yep, she's going to need to work through DSWD there to get permission to take the kids out. I'm not sure how the entire (assumed) divorced in the USA then remarried thing is going to play out. Sounds like the kids are over 7 years of age, and he's taken physical custody of one of them. Or did the older one run back home to the OP's mother? This is certainly not a DIY case. Legal representation in the Philippines is called for. Maybe she can get the courts to declare she has sole custody due to defacto separation from her spouse. But at the current time, she doesn't have physical custody either. Maybe her mother could be officially declared the guardian and help get the DSWD permit for the children to leave?

Not knowing the circumstance to how the relationship ended, of course separation is never a happy situation, but having said that she may want to sit down with the X and work something out while using a civil tongue. From the sounds of the BF he is thinking that she is marrying a USC and they have lots of money so it's only natural for him to extort from their relationship. There can be some options along those lines if she works things out with him. An annulment alone is $2,500 so let the negotiations begin.

We expressed through the grapevine to my fiancée's X, who 7 years ago abandon his children and wife after he moved to another country that if he keeps his mouth closed and let's this happen he will be free to remarry again all on MY Dime. We never heard anything from him and she is legally free to remarry and her visa has been approved.

It might be an approach that she/USC use to have the children, especially if she points out to him the opportunity the children will have in the US and that he still will remain their Bio DAD and they can communicate with him via Skype or some other means.

Let's stay tune and see how this plays out.

[Caryh 5,206]

Not knowing the circumstance to how the relationship ended, of course separation is never a happy situation, but having said that she may want to sit down with the X and work something out while using a civil tongue. From the sounds of the BF he is thinking that she is marrying a USC and they have lots of money so it's only natural for him to extort from their relationship. There can be some options along those lines if she works things out with him. An annulment alone is $2,500 so let the negotiations begin.

We expressed through the grapevine to my fiancée's X, who 7 years ago abandon his children and wife after he moved to another country that if he keeps his mouth closed and let's this happen he will be free to remarry again all on MY Dime. We never heard anything from him and she is legally free to remarry and her visa has been approved.

It might be an approach that she/USC use to have the children, especially if she points out to him the opportunity the children will have in the US and that he still will remain their Bio DAD and they can communicate with him via Skype or some other means.

Let's stay tune and see how this plays out.

There's a big difference between a BF who fathered a child and husband who fathers a child in the Philippines. A BF has next to no rights with children he father's there, a husband has rights that trump what the mother my want. I don't know what happens to a father's rights if the marriage is annulled there. Presumably that is spelled out by the court during the annulment. Did he abandon the children and not return to the family home, or was he an OFW who returned ever couple years for a while and the wife got tired of it? Then found a way to get to the USA, filed for divorce and has now married an American. This is one of those very confused situations caused by the Philippines not recognizing divorce except in very limited situations. Technically the OP could be considered a bigamist and an adulterer by Philippines law, both of which are punishable crimes in the Philippines. So how does one who could be charged with that in her home country make a case that she is a fit mother and the father's parental rights should be denied? Had the Filipino husband not found out, I think the kids would have been better off, but now they're caught in a messy situation.

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Based on the information that I have gathered through discussions with the you, I suggest you seek legal help to address the status of your marriages to both men, the children's welfare and the future of your family. I commend you on your prudence in seeing that your children have the best opportunities to grow into productive adults. A good starting point in my opinion is calling the DSWD directly to determine what your options are and then seeking a competent lawyer in your hometown.

Good luck and I hope things work out for your family.

[jerry667 1]

What about the fathers rights??? I don't know the whole story. Was he a good father??? The us has laws that prevent one parent from moving kids out if the country. for very good reasons. just saying.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Taking the children from the father without the proper court papers is considered international kidnapping and could affect your green card. ( you would be deported for life no possibility of a waiver) The US takes this very seriously as good number of foreign spouses do the opposite ( take a shred child out of the US and refuse to share access ) Do NOT bring the children over until you straighten this out.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Taking the children from the father without the proper court papers is considered international kidnapping and could affect your green card. ( you would be deported for life no possibility of a waiver) The US takes this very seriously as good number of foreign spouses do the opposite ( take a shred child out of the US and refuse to share access ) Do NOT bring the children over until you straighten this out.

You are talking on something it appears you don't have a clue about. Philippines law regarding a mother and her children is unique.