What would you do

[sarah and hicham 3]

I am wondering what you would do or think if your fiance/husband got here and decided he didn't want to work or that he wouldn't work because he doesn't want to start with a low paying job.

I wanted to add that this isn't only for MENA posters but I would like the topic to stay in MENA if possible, thanks!

Edited December 15, 2006 by sarah and hicham

[Allie&Leo 0]

I'm sure 100% of our fiances who come over to the USA and plan on finding employment are nervous about finding a job they will like.

I guess to answer your question I will need more info.

Is your fiance actively looking for a decent job? Spending his days searching? or is he being lazy and not doing much?

Does your financial situation require your fiance to get a job quickly?

In my opinion if our household income needed my fiance to get a job, any job I would be upset if he wouldn't take a temporary job for awhile but if he is actively searching for something more up his alley and we could get by with 1 income I would not be upset and would actually prefer him not to get a low paying job. Probably bad hours and would take time away from finding a job with more of a future.

Every situation is different.

Good luck to the employment search.

[Janellealana 0]

Well, compared to what they make in Morocco, the low paying jobs here are very high to what most people make there. Mohamed was working over 70 hours a week and was only making about 50 dollars a month. He will work any job. He wants to help with our new life. I would be very worried if he came and didn't want to work.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Hopefully this will never be the problem. We talk about it often and i try to explain that in the beginning will more than likely mean starting completely at the bottom until he can get his grounding and learn new work routines. His english is excellent so i think with a few classes maybe at night he will adjust good.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I'm sure 100% of our fiances who come over to the USA and plan on finding employment are nervous about finding a job they will like.

I guess to answer your question I will need more info.

Is your fiance actively looking for a decent job? Spending his days searching? or is he being lazy and not doing much?

Does your financial situation require your fiance to get a job quickly?

In my opinion if our household income needed my fiance to get a job, any job I would be upset if he wouldn't take a temporary job for awhile but if he is actively searching for something more up his alley and we could get by with 1 income I would not be upset and would actually prefer him not to get a low paying job. Probably bad hours and would take time away from finding a job with more of a future.

Every situation is different.

Good luck to the employment search.

Sorry I wasn't relating this to my situation. It's just that I have heard that sometimes men who may have a degree in another country or just think they are above working at Wal Mart just don't work so I was wondering what people would do if they were in this situation.

[Jenn! 918]

Hmmm, good question. If that happened to me I'd probably quit my job. That'd be the ultimate test. Better think again if you think I'm gonna be the only one workin'.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Hmmm, good question. If that happened to me I'd probably quit my job. That'd be the ultimate test. Better think again if you think I'm gonna be the only one workin'.

eta: sometimes I wish I had to wait for EAD

Edited December 15, 2006 by sarah and hicham

[melly 0]

We couldn't survive on one income so there really wouldn't be a choice. Also, I refuse to be the sole bread winner if all my husband wanted to do was sit around on his bum.

However, we've discussed the situation for when he's here and we don't think there will be any problem at all. He's more than willing to take whatever job he can to help us get by until he can get something he really likes.

[crazyinEgypt 0]

I've been the breadwinner since Amr arrived in the U.S. Still waiting on his EAD. He can't wait to work and he's willing to work any job even though he has a bachlors degree in Egypt. Seems to me that most middle eastern men want to be the provider for the family so hopefully none of us will have to experience our men not wanting to be employed.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I've been the breadwinner since Amr arrived in the U.S. Still waiting on his EAD. He can't wait to work and he's willing to work any job even though he has a bachlors degree in Egypt. Seems to me that most middle eastern men want to be the provider for the family so hopefully none of us will have to experience our men not wanting to be employed.

This is ideal of course and most men share this value.

However I wonder about some who may have had higher up jobs or jobs that involved their degree in their home country and wonder if they feel embarassed or ashamed to work a job in the US that requires no degree or even experience so they just don't work. I hope that makes sense.

[Aymerlu 3]

I've been the breadwinner since Amr arrived in the U.S. Still waiting on his EAD. He can't wait to work and he's willing to work any job even though he has a bachlors degree in Egypt. Seems to me that most middle eastern men want to be the provider for the family so hopefully none of us will have to experience our men not wanting to be employed.

This is ideal of course and most men share this value.

However I wonder about some who may have had higher up jobs or jobs that involved their degree in their home country and wonder if they feel embarassed or ashamed to work a job in the US that requires no degree or even experience so they just don't work. I hope that makes sense.

In Egypt my husband was always getting high salary job offers due to his line of work. He is a math teacher and taught math in English at international schools. We're now in the process to see what courses he'll need to take at the University to be able to have the same job here. Once he gets his work permit he knows he won't have his dream job and he's totally ok with that and so am I. He just wants to feel that he is bringing some type of income into the family.

[Caladan 19]

Not ME/NA, but this has been on my mind a lot. C's in carpentry, and shouldn't have a problem finding a good job as construction is booming around here. But if something didn't pan out quickly, I'm not sure I'd want him working at any old minimum wage job so he could say he was employed. The money would help, and maybe I'll feel differently next summer, but we're deliberately squirreling away every spare penny we have now so we have enough of a cushion so he doesn't feel like he has to rush off to McDonald's or something.

C. will want to be a good provider, but he's also got a healthy enough ego that if he's my lil' houseboy for a few months, he won't feel like less of a man.

[mybackpages 0]

I've used this answer to a different question, but I think its appropriate here...

I'd leave and move in with his mother in Morocco.

[lilofdevine 0]

hello all, i just started posting on this thread. Thanks mybackpages for guiding me.

To give my opinion on this questions, I would say that a lot of times they are intimidated because of the english language. I've noticed not just with Moroccians but also with other foreigners, they dont have enough confidence in themselves when it comes to communicating in english. So they may use the money part as an excuse. Talk to him further and see what really may be barthering him. As someone else stated, they dont make a lot of money in morocco.

[mybackpages 0]

Lillian, Nice to see you here! Have fun and do not get into too much trouble!