Married and staying in our own countries - possible?

[coconuthead 1]

We want to get married but we're trying to be reasonable. He's in the US and I'm in Canada. We are both over 50 and we both need to work at least 5 more years before we retire. Can I get married in the US, then return to Canada to so I can keep my job? I want to be able to go back and forth every couple of months to see my hubby. I'm not sure I ever want to live there but we will work out where to live together after we can retire. He may move here someday, but it wont' be for a while.

Is this even doable?

thanks for your help!!

[Udella&Wiz 325]

We want to get married but we're trying to be reasonable. He's in the US and I'm in Canada. We are both over 50 and we both need to work at least 5 more years before we retire. Can I get married in the US, then return to Canada to so I can keep my job? I want to be able to go back and forth every couple of months to see my hubby. I'm not sure I ever want to live there but we will work out where to live together after we can retire. He may move here someday, but it wont' be for a while.

Is this even doable?

thanks for your help!!

There is no reason why you cannot do this. Each time you cross the border you'll want to ensure you have proof of ties back home - letter from work, mortgage or rental agreements etc....which prove you're visiting and not staying permanently. That may well be your main nuisance in terms of the border guards on either side can decide that you or your spouse (whoever is visiting) have intentions of staying permanently rather than visiting. The more you travel regularly the more they'll see you visit regularly and return so eventually it won't be much if any problem at all. A Nexus pass would probably be useful for both of you. Taxes shouldn;t be too much of a headache since neither of you will be a resident of the other country and thus not required to file taxes returns. I'm sure there are some implications when filing where your spouse doesn;t live in the same country, but that's best left to the tax experts.

I'm sure others will chime in on their experiences.

[warlord 73]

You can, but you wouldn't have any US status at all. So if you have your Green Card already and you moved and resided outside the US, you would abandon your US status and Green Card. The only way you can do this is for US based employment and you would need to apply for a re-entry permit and that would be judged by your absence of the US.

The only option would be for you to live in the US and commute to work in Canada every day. If you are unsure, then the best answer would be to get your US citizenship first and then you would be able to live outside the US. Otherwise if you left to Canada the only options are for him to move there, or start the entire process of getting you back into the US from scratch...

[Udella&Wiz 325]

You can, but you wouldn't have any US status at all. So if you have your Green Card already and you moved and resided outside the US, you would abandon your US status and Green Card. The only way you can do this is for US based employment and you would need to apply for a re-entry permit and that would be judged by your absence of the US.

The only option would be for you to live in the US and commute to work in Canada every day. If you are unsure, then the best answer would be to get your US citizenship first and then you would be able to live outside the US. Otherwise if you left to Canada the only options are for him to move there, or start the entire process of getting you back into the US from scratch...

My takeaway from the OP was that they were only getting married and not bothering with immigration on either side at this point. They would ahve to cross that bridge when they came to it 5+ yrs from now.

[Ms Hogan 295]

I agree that you will need to make sure you're prepared to be denied access when you want to visit at times if the border guard doesn't want to let you in. Be sure to bring lots of ties to your home country each time you travel so that they know you aren't trying to immigrate. Sometimes it will be easy, other times may take more effort to explain your situation. They get very personal at times.

Also, there may be repercussions in terms of your taxes so keep that in mind. Canada and the U.S. have a reciprocal agreement regarding taxes. I don't know all the ins and outs but do know that I had to report my husband's income on my tax return in Canada and he had to report mine on his in the U.S. when we did our taxes this past year as we were still in our home countries at that time.

One of the benefits of getting married and not doing your immigration application until later would be that you would qualify for a 10 year green card when you apply after having been married already for 2 years. Most of us are moving after being married for less than 2 years which means we have to go through a process to remove conditions as we are only granted a conditional, 2 year, green card.

There are many things to consider but many folks here with lots of difference experience so I'm sure more will be able to share some helpful thoughts as well!

Good luck!

[warlord 73]

My takeaway from the OP was that they were only getting married and not bothering with immigration on either side at this point. They would ahve to cross that bridge when they came to it 5+ yrs from now.

Yeah I re-read it and it seems that's what the probable scenario seems. Though coming over just to get married would raise flags at the border and possible denial even with a return ticket and evidence of living in Canada (job, etc). As the INS is well aware people do this all the time and don't bother returning home even with the evidence.

So yeah as mentioned, it could be a tricky few years of border hassles each and every time doing this while married, but it does happen so...

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Yeah I re-read it and it seems that's what the probable scenario seems. Though coming over just to get married would raise flags at the border and possible denial even with a return ticket and evidence of living in Canada (job, etc). As the INS is well aware people do this all the time and don't bother returning home even with the evidence.

So yeah as mentioned, it could be a tricky few years of border hassles each and every time doing this while married, but it does happen so...

If only they could figure out that Canadians aren't trying to scam and get into the US for the most part We're quite happy at home

[coconuthead 1]

Thanks for the info everyone!

I don't have any intention of going to the US just to get married. It just seems inevitable that at some point it will happen and I don't want to land in jail or anything!

I intend to work in Canada for a while, and didn't want to do anything to mess that up. I don't want to move to the US illegally.

We'll decide where to live later on. But if I do end up married, I want to be sure I can go back and forth (and / or he can) so we don't spend the next five years apart.

There's just too much to think about and I'm just bashing ideas around with you all.

thanks again

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Thanks for the info everyone!

I don't have any intention of going to the US just to get married. It just seems inevitable that at some point it will happen and I don't want to land in jail or anything!

I intend to work in Canada for a while, and didn't want to do anything to mess that up. I don't want to move to the US illegally.

We'll decide where to live later on. But if I do end up married, I want to be sure I can go back and forth (and / or he can) so we don't spend the next five years apart.

There's just too much to think about and I'm just bashing ideas around with you all.

thanks again

Totally understandable - the answer in the end is that a borderguard on any given day may have had someone pi$$ in his cornflakes and decide to deny you entry. Its not the end of the world and you can retry entry with more proof that you're not staying permanently. It has happened to be in the middle of the VISA process even and it all works out in the end. Nothing is a guarantee.

[NikLR 13,227]

Even my ex's sister who had a house in Hawaii and was living there for her 6 months was denied one day and then let thru the next without the CBP officer even looking at her extra paperwork. She was flabbergasted to be denied to be honest considering she'd left her 17 year old daughter in Hawaii for the week she went back to Canada.

Anyone except a USC can be denied at the border, and saying you're going to the USA to be married is not a bad thing. Never lie. Each time I visited my husband I specifically stated that's what I was doing. I also brought proof of my ties to Canada with bills, a letter from my employer, a return ticket and my NOA1 (which the OP won't have.) The CBP never asked to look at any of it but did ask where I was employed, where he was employed and some other general questions like how we met. There was never a big deal.

[Teddy B 17,252]

Even my ex's sister who had a house in Hawaii and was living there for her 6 months was denied one day and then let thru the next without the CBP officer even looking at her extra paperwork. She was flabbergasted to be denied to be honest considering she'd left her 17 year old daughter in Hawaii for the week she went back to Canada.

Anyone except a USC can be denied at the border, and saying you're going to the USA to be married is not a bad thing. Never lie. Each time I visited my husband I specifically stated that's what I was doing. I also brought proof of my ties to Canada with bills, a letter from my employer, a return ticket and my NOA1 (which the OP won't have.) The CBP never asked to look at any of it but did ask where I was employed, where he was employed and some other general questions like how we met. There was never a big deal.

Sometimes there really is no rhyme or reason as to why some people get denied. When I was dating my wife I had made 3 trips to Canada via the Fort Erie/Peace Bridge crossing to see her, I was pulled into secondary on my first trip simply because it was my first time entering Canada (with a passport) and I was traveling alone, so they wanted to check me out. I had a previous arrest 10 years prior in which all charges were dropped. When they asked me if I had ever been arrested, I told them yes and the circumstances involved. They checked me out in their system and let me go through. The next two times through I was never asked about it again.

On the 4th time I attempted entry to Canada, I flew into Detroit Metro, my wife and her girlfriend drove into Detroit to pick me up. We were going through the Detroit/Windsor tunnel and the CBP officer asked "has anyone in the car ever been fingerprinted for anything other than employment", I answered yes. Got pulled into secondary and was grilled for over 40 mins by a female Customs Officer over that previous arrest. She wasn't going to allow me entry because there was nothing in their system that said the previous charges had been dropped. She claimed it showed my being arrested with no outcome. I was sitting down with my wife waiting for the officer to make her decision when she called me back up to the window. She asked me if my wife knew about the previous arrest and I told her yes. She called my wife up and asked her about it and my wife was able to give details about the arrest. The Officer decided to let me through, albeit with the Canadian version of an I-94 good for a 5 day stay, which was the plan anyway, but at least I got through. I guess my honesty with my wife about the incident paid off. I don't like having secrets.

As soon as I got back home, I contacted the courthouse where my hearing took place to get a certified copy of the case disposition that explains the charges were dropped. I travel with a copy of it at all times now. I have since crossed the border about 5 more times, with no issues whatsoever. The arrest has never been brought up again and never been pulled into secondary again either. Whether or not you get scrutinized by CBP is a roll of the dice sometimes.

[NikLR 13,227]

It's amazing how someone can have a huge deal one time, but never any problems otherwise. /sigh

[Flames9_RN 358]

Al comes down to the POE officer!! I have a cousin who I told years ago about VJ and she has never started the greencard process...She travels to the USA (and back) very often, has never had a problem! Got married little over a year ago, same thing back and forth not a problem. 6 months ago, had a baby, and she still travels back and forth (without the husband) with no problems! Some people never get questioned, while others do!

We did the long distance relationship for almost 3 yrs--1 year of that married, and never had a problem crossing. But thats just us. Other people get stopped on their very 1st attempt. odds are in ur favor, especially being older and still having ties to ur own country. My 2 cents is down below in my signature. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.