False abuse claims.

[verysadguy 170]

Dude get a good attorney and file for divorce asap!!!!!! the person who was your spouse is no longer that person, take it from some of us you can see our posts, once a claim of abuse has been made you can never ever, ever, ever, ever go back, even if you still love her, DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSON back. no matter what, break any and all contaact, change your phone number, change door locks, unplug the garage door opener, tell your work if she comes in to notify the police ASAP and never speak to her again. EVER,,,except in court give her nothing unless ordered by the court and cancel the I864 if it is not to late.

Brian's advice is excellent. Protect yourself.

Example: My wife called me an begged to stay back at my home to visit the baby and save money on a hotel. Then called me selfish when I said no. Two days later in court it came out she was filing VAWA against me for emotional abuse. Do you get it?

If let her in, she would call police for abuse, rape whatever. Even the most knowledgeable person on VJ regarding VAWA told me, "NEVER EVER BE ALONE WITH YOUR EX!"

Wake up buddy. You are getting worked like a tool by a pro. Sad you may be, but the wise man would seek professional assistance and heed it.

The rest of this story remains really fishy. I'm looking forward to the rest of the story after the court date. Bend over now, because "it" is coming...been there, done that.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

I agree that OP must defend vigorously and get case dismissed. OP must show zero weakness in court and succeed.

Once that date is out of the way, however, OP is free to engage in the same pursuit of his one happiness as before. God bless, life facilitates strangest bedfellows...

[Dylan'sWife 2]

He's talking about his ex (who i assume is the mother of his children), not his wife.

Thank You.

[ir0nK1visa 2]

My future ex-wife was granted the protective order. The judge was completely deaf to the facts that my lawyer presented and my "wife", corroborated to certain extent and at times contradicted herself:

1) I had abused her 3 days in a span of 7 days. On the last day of the abuse, which included I hitting her with a computer, the police came to our residence, due to a false DV call, and took her. I have not been charged or arrested as a result of the call. In fact the investigator told me there was no evidence of abuse, so I will NEVER be charged even if my "wife" tried. MY lawyer questioned my wife, why she did not have a police report of the incident or pictures of her injuries, her reply I forgot to tell them, I do not know. He asked her in cross, are you pressing charges in the other state for the alleged abuse..her reply no.

Think about this, I do not understand how the judge ignored this, if any person is hitting, abusing another 3 days out of 7 and two in a row, then the police take the victim and look them over, there will be bruises, marks, but there was no evidence of abuse.

2) We tried to show how she was using the protective order as part of her future attempt to obtain her visa via abuse/VAWA. The judge basically said, there is no evidence for that. Although my lawyer had already established my wife was here on a visa in between steps, needing to apply for AOS with or without me somehow or she would be illegal. To be honest as soon as I heard the judge say that I KNEW she was going to grant the order, no matter what other proof we had to show my wife was lying.

3) We also established I had NO TIES to the state where my wife is now. The only reason we had been there was to make life EASIER for her while she adapted to the USA. We indicated that I did not want to live in the same state as her, unless we tried to work it out otherwise I had no reason to put myself in danger or future suits, abuse claims.

4) They did have a few vm's from the night after she left, in which I am drunk and saying a lot of f'bombs, saying how I need to protect myself, make sure she goes back home, since she was here under a visa I had sponsored(now I know my hands are clean if she stays), but also saying I am sorry we are in this, I wish we could work it out, we both know abuse did not happen. They also tried to introduce some pictures of bruises, marks but they were not part of a medical/police report and my lawyer objected.

I KNOW there will differing comments on this.What I know is I did not abuse her and it shows by the fact that where the "abuse" took place I can NEVER be charged, because it did not happen and I have been told there is no evidence to press charges against me. I can not understand how the judge granted the order even with all of the proof, facts showing that she was lying.

I am thinking about appealing, but the cost, time, stress, pain with the last two being the hardest I do not know. In the end what I wished for, to speak and work it out with her will NEVER HAPPEN. I want to move on with my life and have my record clear, but I do not know if I can fight anymore at this point, although I know I am innocent. The system is so biased, I am ashamed to be an american at this point to be honest.

I truly pray for those that are in an abusive situation, but these type of cases as mine are appalling to say the least. Sadly, the more I read on the subject of false DV, restraining orders it may never change and many innocent people(men/women) will end up with a mark for the rest of their lives.

This was definitely a learning experience, I NEVER thought I'd have to endure and DO NOT WISH IT on ANYONE ELSE! The person I met, fell in love with and brought to the USA to start a new family with is not who I saw, heard in court. I wish her the best and no ill-will.

To those of you that will say her plan was to use you, I still say NO. That was not her intention. I helped put her in a situation where her family and friends that know of the abuse/VAWA clause and will try to use it for their gain. In then end if it works for her, good for her.

I am trying to see the positives in all of this, the money I save, the uglier it could have been had we had children, a house...more false accusations, court hearings, lost money, time, days. I have a job, a house to live in, good health, family, friends, my children from my first marriage and my ex that know I am not an abuser. So all I can do is move forward as HARD AS IT IS RIGHT NOW. I have plenty to be thankful for this Thursday and every day!

I will most likely read what others have to say, but will not reply.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Maybe a lesson for other men (nothing to do with who is USC, or with immigration): do you really think leaving compromising voicemails is not enough to grant a woman protective order? After all, what is this order's impact: if you never travel near her, never offensively communicate - just live your life...

[ir0nK1visa 2]

Agreed..I will live my life, but it IS EMBARRASSING how the system works. We proved she was and had committed perjury with her accusations, yet my life was tarnished. Again, I will NEVER be charged or arrested for the abuse claims she made cause it never happened and she had police take her on the last day of my repeated ABUSE!

also, yes no matter the reason an irated, frustrated call can be very damaging even if one says it can be worked out, you are sorry in the same call.

I wish her well.

[Brian1967## 119]

Dude what are you doing? You bet she got the protective order, most judges do not listen to men. Now, that being out of the way DO NOT GO NEAR THIS WOMAN EVER AGAIN for the rest of your life, you are now exposed to the worst nightmare of your life. I am sorry, I know in Texas that being a man in domestic abuse case equals prosecution, the DA in Bexar County Texas proclaims that "no one deserves to be hit" my wife was the aggressor in a DV call the police laid the blame on her and almost arrested her, the DA did not press charges on the basis of height difference. Thank God she just assulted me she could have shot me with a 22 instead of a 45 and walked, on the basis I was shot with a small caliber pistol (LOL)

Dude get away from her the charges you may or may not face can be with you for the rest of your life DO NOT BE A FOOL.

DO NOT EVER say you will not be charged in this.

Edited November 28, 2013 by Brian1967##

[ir0nK1visa 2]

I do not know if I did not put in my various posts the following, but we are 10+ hours apart in a car, in different states. I have NO NEED to see her again, other than to finalize the divorce. As for the charges, unless some other evidence materializes from an incident that happened almost 3 months ago, charges can not be pressed against me for that incident. As the investigator in my state, town said there was/is no evidence of abuse or we would have contacted you already. Can she try, sure but without any evidence there is not much to be done. Every situation is different.

At this point her family and friends are more concerned with figuring out how to obtain her, her visa via the VAWA path. I wish her the best with that, but with no physical, official reports supporting her abuse claims difficult. They can try the mental abuse path so be it, good for her and lastly not my problem any more.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

So that you know: every properly submitted I-360 gets approved this year. With what you described of your court appearance, she has enough.

[ir0nK1visa 2]

Good for her. Sad how the K1 application process is rather stringent, but the abuse claims so readily approved. There was no abuse and will never be any, yet based on "fear", "apprehension", if your statement is correct, all doors open.

It is best this happened now, had we had children, actually sent in the AOS(that we were going to), bought a house it could have been so much worse. I MUST keep the positives fresh in my mind.

[Brian1967## 119]

Dude just because you live 10 hours apart means nothing, she got the protective order and now can be free to File VAWA, if it was a scam, there is nothing you can now do. Divorce and move on try not to block the VAWA claim as it will just appear vindictive. You need to live your life and be the best person you can be, it is difficult to say but now with the protective order in play, let it go, seek some help to have your heart heel.

Also do not listen to that ####### from Singledad2usc, he sounds like a moron saying things like "you cannot scam a honest man" the honest men are the easiest to scam. You have no idea how sorry I am for your troubles and I can see why your heart is hurting so badly. Some men do everything they can to do things right and it still goes wrong.

I said it before I will say it again..."marry the right person you will be in what feels like heaven, marry the wrong person it will feel as though you are in hell"

That ends my comments on the post, to the OP I wish you all the best:)

[ir0nK1visa 2]

Being 10+ hours apart ensures I am less likely to bump into her, otherwise I can not and WILL NOT risk violating the order putting my life and freedom in someone elses hands. As for the VAWA good for her. Again how easily the doors open based on a protective order that has no abuse attached to it, just an apparent fear. Also a lie, but someone obviously trained her well to fabricate more lies while in court and play the fearful person part..plus the lies of me being controlling.

Hearing someone say things about one such as he did not let me study, learn english, work, restricted my phone access, how I abused her for 2+ days in an 8 day period, all being lies was very hard to live through. I am amazed I did not yell, you liar while in court many times.

I was not going to post or reply, but it is helping me get it out of my system and think. I am thinking about my future, without her and moving forward, as difficult as it seems today. The truth of what happened, how she continued the lies, affirms I deserve better than her.

Divorce is the next step..thanks all.

[Karee 4,191]

The judge will almost always grant to protective order no matter what. If she ends up dead the judges don't want that coming back on them.

Plus judges are lawyers, so their lawyer buddies (your lawyer) gets to make a few bucks in the process. While the legal system is supposed to be about fairness in this country, fairness takes a backseat to dollars.

Best bet is to move on and forget about her as quickly as possible.

[verysadguy 170]

So that you know: every properly submitted I-360 gets approved this year. With what you described of your court appearance, she has enough.

I believe this statement to be PATENTLY FALSE. Not every I-360 will be approved.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

U want to furnish a patent example of someone who submitted properly this year and was denied?