False abuse claims.

[ir0nK1visa 2]

Isn't it amazing how people can file for a protective order with minimal proof and just cause grief to the other person they supposedly LOVED?!

Sorry, all I am just venting and will post my whole story one day once I fight the false protective order and have it denied. Denied, cause the abuse never happened. My wife was convinced to sign on accusations that are such a lie I can not believe her family is doing this to her. In essence, first a false domestic violence call was made to our residence, she was removed and I was NOT arrested. The protective order has an accusation of abuse and striking with an object on the SAME day the false domestic call was made. Some of the other dates used I also have hard proof against the claims. I have spoken with the investigating officer for the domestic claim and informed him of what they have done since. His response was WOW her family is trying to keep her here, even if it is with lies, I wish I could give you the reports and everything to defend yourself. Another topic, I am falsely accused of domestic violence, not arrested, but I can not freely gain access to the documents to prove my innocence in the protective order hearing. I must pay for a lawyer to find his way to subpoena the documents via another proceeding. What is WRONG with our system?!

I know this is an attempt to obtain the visa through VAWA, but seriously if you are going to lie make it a little more realistic. That attempt for the VAWA I know was not out of her own motivation, doing but her family pushing her to. Also, I feel in my heart, she was not and is still not fully aware of the accusations that were written as she barely speaks English, much less read or write. I feel so bad for her, since her family pressure has put her in this situation and she basically has to listen to them and run with it. I am so sad I can not stop her from the misguided, incorrect suggestions, ideas they have given her it may only hurt her worse in the end. I wish we could speak and resolve this, but I can only wait to see her the date of hearing and hopefully convince her to do otherwise..bleh!

Again, I am just venting and more will follow. I can not express how sad I am about it all!!

[Darnell 8,479]

IMO, the best 'foil' for her family's pursuit,

is to sell all of your stuff and not be find-able, for a year.

Have an attorney in tow, to answer any legal matters.

I have other opinions, to protect yerself against the lass directly, but I won't go into them, here.

[ir0nK1visa 2]

IMO, the best 'foil' for her family's pursuit,

is to sell all of your stuff and not be find-able, for a year.

Have an attorney in tow, to answer any legal matters.

I have other opinions, to protect yerself against the lass directly, but I won't go into them, here.

I wish it were that simple, but I have children from a previous marriage which count on me on so many levels. I do have a lawyer to fight the false protective order and one that is working on getting the police report for the false domestic call.

I am certain I am not the first nor the last person to run in to this. She is of the type of person that will believe in, fight for her family if it meant death to her, which is commendable. But at some point each person as to stand for themselves and know right from wrong! I'd say more about my story, but WILL once I have cleared all of the false claims. I love her and even if she decides not to work it out with me I wish her no harm or ill-will, what is happening and she signed, I can honestly say is completely family pressure, pressure that can cause many people do things they would normally not do. I believe in her and swear that is what is happening. Maybe I am being very naive, I hope not.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Naive? No, you are not.

So how did this marriage initiate?

[ir0nK1visa 2]

I'd rather not get into details, until after the issues are resolved. But how we met, worked it out, married well that and other reasons are why I feel she is being basically forced to do what she is doing. The person I met and know is not like the one accusing me falsely. Again, unless I am so blinded by love and wanting to make it work and she was a great actress, but I just doubt that I really do. I know she loved me and hopefully after all we have gone thru, and I am not free of faults, there is still some love left in her towards me. When we see each other, sadly in court, we can MAYBE talk it out. It is that family issue, that may make this impossible to mend not how we feel for each other.... I wish her no ill-will whatever comes of us as a couple.

Naive? No, you are not.

So how did this marriage initiate?

[SingleDad2usc 71]

So she followed advice of her family to betray you in a big way (protective order no less), but you hope?... Maybe your answer is exactly in that (which you'd rather not get into)!

[Sandra G. 5,057]

Yes definitely you are blinded by love, seek some psychological help.Good luck.

[ir0nK1visa 2]

Yes definitely you are blinded by love, seek some psychological help.Good luck.

That may be part of my problem, sadly.

I came on here to vent and to certain extent to start working on distancing myself emotionally from her, as HARD that is. It is not easy to just let go and stop loving someone that you have for over 2 years. Maybe I am just to positive, but the person I met did not come here just for the visa, she did for me. Due to the situation I helped create, cause I am not innocent in all of this it takes both to succeed or fail, I gave her family the chance to convince her of something in a moment of desperation, angst, sadness, depression. Yes, she is an adult, but..I will post my story once it is resolved one way or the other.

I do know this, many married couples in the USA have survived infidelity and far worse situations that what I am in. Place on top of that a foreigner with all of the cultural differences and the situation is harder to navigate at times. I do have certain steps to follow, should she decide to speak, work it out one key one would be to see a therapist to determine if we are truly compatible or not. In my mind the chances of us working it out are very low and there is only one last attempt at the hearing date.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Sure, knock yourself out

Just two things:

1. Before the order against you is removed, you could get arrested for trying

2. Before posting here another "visa scam" report, examine how you originally "got" her

[ir0nK1visa 2]

Thank you for the comments. I can not and have not contacted her since being served. We are in two different states as is. I do not intend to nor will pursue anything once the po is denied, unless she wants to try. Meaning if she does not want to try to work it out I will wish her the best. I know she came here for me for love and if it truly has failed I have no need to continue in the past and pursue a scam claim. If she were a USA citizen I would just walk away as I will with this once that time comes.

[Jamericanlove 31]

I know you're hoping for the best OP, but let me tell you right now no one is forcing your ex to do what she's doing. Don't try and convince yourself of that because it's just not true. Everything is happening because she's doing what it takes to make it happen. As much as it is painful to accept, she used you to get here and is contiuning to use you to stay here. Even if she did come back and say sorry I would be weary of ever trusting her again. Someone who truly loved you would not do something like that in the first place. I hope in time you will see this as clearly as others do and are able to move on with your life. All the best to you.

[ir0nK1visa 2]

One more tidbit for now. I did the major error of purchasing her, the ticket back to her country. That did not help the situation in the least, but I was..well I DID something I should not have and had told myself that as frustrating as it might get and could be to NOT do that unless we were both in a calm state.

In the end this may be what I need to just move on. Again, more to follow in the future. I thank all for the replies.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Everything is correct, but so long as people keep this line "she used you to get here and stay here" - there will be tons of wasted time both here in the forum and out there in the USCIS-land.

Most of these cases were I used her first. Stop the "scam" nonsense. You can't scam an honest man

[ir0nK1visa 2]

Everything is correct, but so long as people keep this line "she used you to get here and stay here" - there will be tons of wasted time both here in the forum and out there in the USCIS-land.

Most of these cases were I used her first. Stop the "scam" nonsense. You can't scam an honest man

Everyone has the right to form their own opinions and take the path they deem is best for them including filing false/fraud claims, as illogical as it is and IF they took the proper time to spend time with the bene, her family, friends(as I did). Bear in mind a battle, war is not something people decide to do overnight, nor a really good theft, assault, attack - yes this is far fetched, but I think you understand my point. So someone planning to scam a USC for a visa could be a well thought out scheme that took some time to plan out then have the audacity to actually execute it. That is food for thought.

I for one WILL NOT do that if we can not work it out. I know who I met and as much as I have thought "WOW, maybe I was used", if she wants to try to stay, that is her problem not mine if we can not work it out. She is free do as she wishes. I will have better things to do than to worry over filing a false claim and waste my time.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Beautiful. Except the audacity is mutual LOL. Those who have the audacity to travel out there, moved willingly into the trap. To come back and cry "I was scammed" is not manlike. Then USCIS who originally got petitioned the scam, hears again from "scam's victim" petitioning to undo the petitioned approval. Tiring

Thank goodness the OP here doesn't intend that. Half of the topics in this subforum do. What a waste of everybody's life

Edited October 21, 2013 by SingleDad2usc