Ever Think about ADOPTING?

[Danno 1,228]

An orphan goes to church and asks someone, anyone to adopt him.

ST. PETERSBURG — As soon as they pulled into the church lot, Davion changed his mind.

''Miss! Hey, Miss!" he called to his caseworker, who was driving. "I don't want to do this anymore."

In the back seat, he hugged the Bible someone had given him at the foster home. "You're going to be great," Connie Going said.

Outside St. Mark Missionary Baptist Church, she straightened his tie. Like his too-big black suit, the white tie had been donated. It zipped up around the neck, which helped. No one had ever taught Davion, 15, how to tie one.

''Are you ready?" Going asked. Hanging his head, he followed her into the sanctuary.

This had been his idea. He'd heard something about God helping people who help themselves. So here he was, on a Sunday in September, surrounded by strangers, taking his future into his own sweaty hands.

Davion Navar Henry Only loves all of his names. He has memorized the meaning of each one: beloved, brown, ruler of the home, the one and only.

But he has never had a home or felt beloved. His name is the last thing his parents gave him.

He was born while his mom was in jail. He can't count all of the places he has lived.

In June, Davion sat at a library computer, unfolded his birth certificate and, for the first time, searched for his mother's name. Up came her mug shot: 6-foot-1, 270 pounds -- tall, big and dark, like him. Petty theft, cocaine.

Next he saw the obituary: La-Dwina Ilene "Big Dust" McCloud, 55, of Clearwater, died June 5, 2013. Just a few weeks before.

----

In church, Davion scanned the crowd. More than 300 people packed the pews. Men in bright suits, grandmoms in sequined hats, moms hugging toddlers on their laps. Everyone seemed to have a family except him.

Davion sat beside Going, his caseworker from Eckerd, and struggled to follow the sermon: something about a letter Paul wrote. "He was in prison," said the Rev. Brian Brown. "Awaiting an uncertain future ... "

Sometimes Davion felt like that, holed up at Eckerd's Carlton Manor residential group home with 12 teenage boys, all with problems. All those rules, cameras recording everything.

Davion wants to play football, but there's no one to drive him to practice. He wants to use the bathroom without having to ask someone to unlock the door.

More than anything, he wants someone to tell him he matters. To understand when he begs to leave the light on.

''You may be in a dark place," said the preacher. "But look for the joyful moments when you can praise God."

Picking at his fingers, Davion wondered what to say. And whether anyone would hear him.

----

Davion always longed for a family. His caseworker took him to picnics, put his portrait in the Heart Gallery, an organization devoted to helping foster kids find permanent homes. But he had thrown chairs, blown his grades, pushed people away.

When he learned his birth mother was dead, everything changed. He had to let go of the hope that she would come get him. Abandon his anger. Now he didn't have anyone else to blame.

''He decided he wanted to control his behavior and show everyone who he could be," Going said.

So someone would want him.

''I'll take anyone," Davion said. "Old or young, dad or mom, black, white, purple. I don't care. And I would be really appreciative. The best I could be."

All summer, he worked on swallowing his rage, dropping his defenses. He lost 40 pounds. So far in 10th grade, he has earned A's -- except in geometry.

''He's come a long way," said Floyd Watkins, program manager at Davion's group home. "He's starting to put himself out there, which is hard when you've been rejected so many times."

Davion decided he couldn't wait for someone to find him. In three years, he'll be on his own.

''I know they're out there," he told his caseworker. Though he is shy, he said he wanted to talk at a church. "Maybe if someone hears my story ... "

----

The preacher spoke about orphans, how Jesus lifted them up. He described an epidemic, "alarming numbers of African-American children who need us."

Then he introduced Davion, who shuffled to the pulpit. Without looking up, Davion wiped his palms on his pants, cleared his throat, and said:

''My name is Davion and I've been in foster care since I was born ... I know God hasn't given up on me. So I'm not giving up either."

(At publication time, two couples had asked about Davion, but no one had come forward to adopt him. If you want more information about Davion -- or any of the 120 foster children in Pinellas and Pasco counties who are waiting for families, call Eckerd at (866) 233-0790. If you can't adopt but want to donate time or money, call Eckerd at (727) 456-0600.

http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2013/oct/15/orphan-goes-church-and-asks-someone-anyone-adopt-h/

[Peter_Pan 661]

He seems like a good kid, hope one of those christians will do more than just play Sunday mercy, and adopt him.

I have an adoptive sister and I love her to death.

Personally, I am on the fence about adopting. I do want to pass MY genes on, and I believe more in genetics than in environment. I would consider an older child, that I can talk to and make a judgement about.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Danno supports adoption? Except for gay people, I guess. Oh and single mothers. Single mother raise criminals.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Danno supports adoption? Except for gay people, I guess. Oh and single mothers. Single mother raise criminals.

I have thought about it myself. Once I get just a little bit older I am going to go for it. Maybe my mid 40s.

[Danno 1,228]

Danno supports adoption? Except for gay people, I guess. Oh and single mothers. Single mother raise criminals.

Yur just all vinegar aren't cha?

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Yur just all vinegar aren't cha?

Not at all. Just pointing out your past arguments.

[Danno 1,228]

Not at all. Just pointing out your past arguments.

Look, my positions are for the betterment of society, yours are for the right of one person.

DId you notice the Boy did not search for his Dad?

Single Mother strikes again.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Look, my positions are for the betterment of society, yours are for the right of one person.

DId you notice the Boy did not search for his Dad?

Single Mother strikes again.

Thank you for proving my point about you.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Look, my positions are for the betterment of society, yours are for the right of one person.

DId you notice the Boy did not search for his Dad?

Single Mother strikes again.

If you are so hot on single mothers, why don't you help out. I forgot, black women are off limits to you and you don't want a woman that has a child by black men. You are a whiner that never has solutions.

[Jacque67 7,328]

Look, my positions are for the betterment of society, yours are for the right of one person.

DId you notice the Boy did not search for his Dad?

Single Mother strikes again.

Wow, sick!

[Danno 1,228]

If you are so hot on single mothers, why don't you help out. I forgot, black women are off limits to you and you don't want a woman that has a child by black men. You are a whiner that never has solutions.

Now that was ridiculous.

Are you really suggesting I marry a single Mom to solve the problem of "fatherless children?

Despite your prejudices about me, I could absolutely see myself adopting a Black or other kid of color.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Now that was ridiculous.

Are you really suggesting I marry a single Mom to solve the problem of "fatherless children?

Despite your prejudices about me, I could absolutely see myself adopting a Black or other kid of color.

I am pointing out how racist males always say a black woman, a black woman with kids or a woman that has a child by a black man is of limits, but you will marry another woman who has kids by another man as long as the kids don't have a black father.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

I am pointing out how racist males always say a black woman, a black woman with kids or a woman that has a child by a black man is of limits, but you will marry another woman who has kids by another man as long as the kids don't have a black father.

Yep. Having a kid by a black person seems to be a deal breaker in many situations.

[Novembro 1,763]

Look, my positions are for the betterment of society

oh lawds

[Danno 1,228]

I am pointing out how racist males always say a black woman, a black woman with kids or a woman that has a child by a black man is of limits, but you will marry another woman who has kids by another man as long as the kids don't have a black father.

To be fair, most NON BLACK males are not all that interested in a Black women, so it would stand to reason they are not looking for a Black women with a Black kid (speaking broadly of course).

As far as why men are not interested in a Say white women with a half black kid, your observation is valid. I would suppose this stigma is not as strong as it once was, though social polling shows the women does loose a considerable bit of market value. Still I know of several women who were successful at finding a white guy to accept and I presume, care for the Bi-racial kids.

Of course bi-racial kids come with a bit more challenges but I don't think most people even consider that, I think they just want the kids they raise to be or look like themselves.

When a couple have a baby,,, what is the first thing they look for? Resemblance.

---------------

Q: How often do Black men marry a single mom and adopt her kids, I am betting even less often than white guys do.

We talked about this a little in the other thread, most people look for their match primarily in their own race and social group.

Research shows even when people do go outside their race, they often have other elements which uniquely make their connection strong such as Religion or a shared passion.