The SteveAndTiff Dultimatum

[SAT 9,609]

OK...I'm a gonna go lay in bed and watch Sleepy Hollow....may be Tiff will get scared into sex.....

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Around three in the morning my dog started bugging me. Jumping up to and off of the bed repeatedly. I finally roused myself well enough to scold her, and went back to sleep. Then my dog got the foster dog to barking in the other room, again I roused myself and scolded them both and went back to sleep. I noticed on the clock five minutes had passed since the early wake up, and go back to sleep. Five minutes later my dog was crowding and pushing me around on the bed, the foster dog was barking up a storm again. I finally give up and go "what!", and my dog leads me to the kitchen, her water bowl was empty. For this my dog wakes me up in the middle of the night? So I'm filling the water bowl, the foster dog is going nuts in his kennel, whining to go outside. So I throw on some clothes, take both the dogs out into the freezing cold to get their business done. Return into the house, upon which the dogs rush to go lay down and sleep while I'm wide wake almost two hours before my alarm is set go off. Maybe I need to think about getting a cat instead?

This is nothing, compared to what my dog does to me...

My dog (adopted from rescue 3 years ago), would wake me up every night at around 1-2am to go outside.

I did let the dog outside to do his potty before bed time, but still he wakes me up almost every night, for the whole 3 years plus...

Nowadays, I would just let the dog outside without letting him in after he wakes up me at night..

He could go sleep inside his igloo kennel (with his dog bed inside) on the porch if he wants..

Luckily he has thick double coat of fur (Alaskan Malamute) to withstand the winter cold.

[Darnell 8,479]

OK...I'm a gonna go lay in bed and watch Sleepy Hollow....may be Tiff will get scared into sex.....

Well, you could show her yer feets.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

This is nothing, compared to what my dog does to me...

My dog (adopted from rescue 3 years ago), would wake me up every night at around 1-2am to go outside.

I did let the dog outside to do his potty before bed time, but still he wakes me up almost every night, for the whole 3 years plus...

Nowadays, I would just let the dog outside without letting him in after he wakes up me at night..

He could go sleep inside his igloo kennel (with his dog bed inside) on the porch if he wants..

Luckily he has thick double coat of fur (Alaskan Malamute) to withstand the winter cold.

At least with puppies, you kind of have to overnight train them. I think with ours we did the leash tied to the bed and kenneling overnight. It is so much harder with rescue and older dogs to fix those type of issues. My rescue Bassett Hound peed in the house no matter what I did.

OK...I'm a gonna go lay in bed and watch Sleepy Hollow....may be Tiff will get scared into sex.....

I lurv Sleepy Hollow. DH and I make it like date night.

[TBoneTX 45,851]

T-B's cat has trained him.

Did you read the latest (and big) news in the "Cat Barf, Si Man" thread in the Polls forum? The cat finally barfed! I was heartwarmed (vs. heartwormed) by it, miu man.

[TBoneTX 45,851]

I'm making a giant cookie and coconut cake for my oldest birthday tomorrow.

Read this, si and sigh man:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/339612-rubbette-wives-housework-si-man/page-24?hl=%2Bmade+%2Bcake#entry5081717

That entire thread was one of the best on VJ, si man.

I went to work for 1 hr today

And your point is, Steveklar?

Edited November 9, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,851]

If you follow T-Bone's steps of ministry to your pets before going to bed (as to fill their bowls with water), you wouldn't be waken up in the middle of the night.

Si, man. Free-feed the cat, for crying aloud -- fill the bowls and leave them out. Unless, of course, the dogs eat cat food (I've heard that they'll eat cat-effluvium, for the high protein content), woof man. Solution is to put the cat's bowls atop a counter where the cat can jump and the dogs can't. Cats like to conquer things, see man, so it will kill two birds with one action, si man.

Of course, Mofle the Cat often jumps on the bed when we're in it, sniffs everyone while purring like a motorboat, whacks us (chiefly me) with her muscular tail, and falls asleep at the foot of the bed, or next to us (chiefly me), or wherever else in the house she wants to, zzz man.

I can't count the number of times I've been pinned in bed, unable to get up despite, uh, fullness urgency, between Mrs. T-B. on one side and the cat on the other, no man. Heaven frowns on those who awaken a sleeping cat, ufff man.

Cats, dogs, birds... pretty soon we'll need an Ark, si Noah. Speaking of which, I wonder how the aardvark got its name, huh man.

Edited November 9, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,851]

I wonder if Tarklar is actually a minister....

Head religious boss at the Our Lady of the Deceased Elephant, pray man. $alary is a hunnerd fiddy, pay man.

He is. A Minister Of A Cat or something similar...

I think he was named that way by Jaques...

BTW - how many post/pages till we reach the end of this thread? I miss her posts

Named that by Comrade Slim/Buckwheat.

It seems that 200 pp. has become the standard for thread-closure caused by size, sigh man.

Edited November 9, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,851]

Procrastination is my flaw.....and I know it.......

The true trick is putting even our procrastination off until tomorrow, see man... think about that.

OK....finished translating....I better get something for this........

Hunnerd fiddy.

she used her womenly wiles on you.

It's been genetic for centuries, sigh man.

I do not, will not, can not, share your pain.

Would you eat them in the rain?

Would you eat them on a train?

Would you eat them in a box?

Would you eat them with a fox?

Would you eat them in a house?

Would you eat them with a mouse?

Would you eat them here or there?

Would you eat them anywhere?

[TBoneTX 45,851]

he has thick double coat of fur (Alaskan Malamute) to withstand the winter cold.

I've long wondered how (for example) English sheepdogs see, with all that hair in their eyes, see man.

I once called a large city's zoo to learn whether zebras are white with black stripes or vice-versa. The operator put me right through to the Zebra Department, but no one answered there; I presume that they were all out restriping the zebras.

Zebras chiefly live in Africa, si man. This reminds me that I called the Embassy of Niger, in DC, years ago, to inquire what a native of their country is called. "Nigerian" is already taken, and "Niger" was almost certainly not correct, politically or otherwise. A cultured man with a French accent told me "Nigerien." I said, "Ah -- and a woman is a Nigerienne?" "Oui, man," he replied culturedly. I thanked him and hung up the phone, insatiable intellect temporarily satiated, whee man.

In all my time on VJ, I can't remember having seen a K-1 or CR-1 couple going through Niger. Niamey, the capital, is not on the drop-down list, no man. Wonder why, huh man.

Google "Western Sahara" and read about the place (farthest northwesternmost Africa), see man. Rather, or quite, godforsaken, sigh man.

Edited November 9, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,851]

The cat rediscovered the mat on the typewriter chair, both of which the old cat used to dominate, and is curled up snoring, zzz man. How cute. Mini-B. refers to her, his big sister, as "soft & juicy."

[Darnell 8,479]

Would you eat them in the rain?

Would you eat them on a train?

Would you eat them in a box?

Would you eat them with a fox?

Would you eat them in a house?

Would you eat them with a mouse?

Would you eat them here or there?

Would you eat them anywhere?

I posit Steve's Pain is under the nicest canopy attached to the top of a comfortable 4-poster bed.

[TBoneTX 45,851]

I posit Steve's Pain is under the nicest canopy attached to the top of a comfortable 4-poster bed.

Is Steve's Pain the one he's married to?

Have faded precipitously, and must arise at o'cold-thirty for GS-ing (garage sales). Zzz, man.

Edited to add: Brother D. just hit 39,000 VJ posts on the exact button, whee man.

Edited November 9, 2013 by TBoneTX

[Asia 2,498]

I just was called an effin ####### (in French!) in some other thread...

Oh my... what a way to start a day...

[Darnell 8,479]

ya, seems we are buddies, in that thread

ASIA ! what's for break-fast ?