The SteveAndTiff Dultimatum

[Novembro 1,763]

I want to learn how to make banana bread.

Please send your finished product to me to test.

My wife has finally decided what direction she wants to go with a job here. She wants to get back to working with numbers, book keeping, accounting, loan sharking, whatever... She's been working with mortgages since she's got here, and shes bored with it. I don't know how numbers can be more exciting, but to each her/his own, I'll support her efforts to make a change. Funny thing is her work loves her and is grooming her to move up the ladder. As she's too modest for her own good at times, she refuses to see this, or maybe she does and she's afraid of moving up?

I guess whatever makes her happy, right? I don't get numbers at all, but bless her that she does. Also on the moving up thing, do you think she'd stay if she was promoted?

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

lol yah right. He is already bothered cause he has to pay for stuff and I hate depending on someone and having to ask every single time if i can please get something...nooooooo

Well, IMO, you shouldn't have to ask - it is called a joint account. We set one up as soon as we could. We only ask each other if it is a big purchase or something unnecessary. Part of being married is having joint finances, the Dane doesn't pay for things, "we" do.

[JTB11 1,079]

Are you guys waiting to build up savings for a place of your own? Guess I never asked before. What kinds of jobs are you looking for? Can you afford to buy a beater pos just for the stability?

Not exactly. My husband had never lived outside his parents home and doesnt have a good enough job to actually save for a house or an apartment so when I have a job the plan is for me to rent a place for us and then see how we do after I build up credit. I do not know if I can save up enough on my own to get a house for us so I don't think so.

As for jobs...I was working in higher ed. aka program manager for MBA in humanitarian logistics and management and i am looking to stay in higher ed. There is not a lot of programs like that but there are international recruiter jobs, program coordinators etc. so hopefully.... the program I worked for was american essentially only in Switzerland and all of my education is from either US institutions or US accredited. *fingers crossed*

[JTB11 1,079]

Well, IMO, you shouldn't have to ask - it is called a joint account. We set one up as soon as we could. We only ask each other if it is a big purchase or something unnecessary. Part of being married is having joint finances, the Dane doesn't pay for things, "we" do.

I know it should be this way but with us it is a bit different. At the end he has a low paying job like 2k a month (no GED cannot get better job) and since he is not used to paying for anything and always keeping his entire pay check (except the occasional payments he made on bills or take outs he paid for when his parents did not want to cook, and he doesn't drive so not even that) ...it feels really like a whole lot for him if i spend 50 bucks every 2 weeks on food. I still give him 20 to make it less of a burden on him. Granted...that will not last much longer, I got 80 bucks left lol

You know how you meet people for a reason.....I am here to teach him about independence and he is here to teach me that sometimes asking for help is fine. I think.

[Novembro 1,763]

Not exactly. My husband had never lived outside his parents home and doesnt have a good enough job to actually save for a house or an apartment so when I have a job the plan is for me to rent a place for us and then see how we do after I build up credit. I do not know if I can save up enough on my own to get a house for us so I don't think so.

As for jobs...I was working in higher ed. aka program manager for MBA in humanitarian logistics and management and i am looking to stay in higher ed. There is not a lot of programs like that but there are international recruiter jobs, program coordinators etc. so hopefully.... the program I worked for was american essentially only in Switzerland and all of my education is from either US institutions or US accredited. *fingers crossed*

Well snap, my fingers are crossed for you. Surely you know about higheredjobs (http://www.higheredjobs.com/). Apply for 10s a day if you can. Also, if you can find anything, having something is better than having nothing!

I would agree, rent for awhile and save up to buy if you can (or if that's in your plan). It's hard, I know. Getting out of the parent's house is such a wonderful feeling though!

/responsible adult

[JTB11 1,079]

My wife has finally decided what direction she wants to go with a job here. She wants to get back to working with numbers, book keeping, accounting, loan sharking, whatever... She's been working with mortgages since she's got here, and shes bored with it. I don't know how numbers can be more exciting, but to each her/his own, I'll support her efforts to make a change. Funny thing is her work loves her and is grooming her to move up the ladder. As she's too modest for her own good at times, she refuses to see this, or maybe she does and she's afraid of moving up?

I remember working with this girl who was a secretary/events coordinator. It was obvious to everyone she was capable and deserving of better job and she got a promotion and was really nervous and worried about it...more responsibility, more pressure...could be that

or maybe when they actually offer her a promotion she will go for it. You can never be sure of anything until you get an offer....is how I would think....

good luck to her either way !!! Numbers ftw !

[JTB11 1,079]

Well snap, my fingers are crossed for you. Surely you know about higheredjobs (http://www.higheredjobs.com/). Apply for 10s a day if you can. Also, if you can find anything, having something is better than having nothing!

I would agree, rent for awhile and save up to buy if you can (or if that's in your plan). It's hard, I know. Getting out of the parent's house is such a wonderful feeling though!

/responsible adult

oh yes I do...love that website I have been applying, once I have EAD should be better. I dont mind moving anywhere in the US and hubby will have to come with and hopefully not panic too much about it

OMG yes it is....I have lived on my own since I was 15 with a break here and there so this is a fun situation haha

Must wash the dogs...they stink. One of them seems to like to eat poop.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I know it should be this way but with us it is a bit different. At the end he has a low paying job like 2k a month (no GED cannot get better job) and since he is not used to paying for anything and always keeping his entire pay check (except the occasional payments he made on bills or take outs he paid for when his parents did not want to cook, and he doesn't drive so not even that) ...it feels really like a whole lot for him if i spend 50 bucks every 2 weeks on food. I still give him 20 to make it less of a burden on him. Granted...that will not last much longer, I got 80 bucks left lol

You know how you meet people for a reason.....I am here to teach him about independence and he is here to teach me that sometimes asking for help is fine. I think.

I don't know, we manage on $2600/month for a family of 3 in a high COL state and I don't consider that low paying per se. Not only do we manage with that, but we pay off about $800-900/month in debt from it.

[Novembro 1,763]

Minister to dogs, si wo-man.

[Caryh 5,206]

Please send your finished product to me to test.

I guess whatever makes her happy, right? I don't get numbers at all, but bless her that she does. Also on the moving up thing, do you think she'd stay if she was promoted?

I'm not really sure she would. I think she might be afraid to move up, as it means speaking with customers, and she really lacks confidence about speaking in English. Her English speaking ability is fantastic actually, but she's always worried about it. I guess all it takes is one super fast talker that its hard for her to keep up with and all confidence is blown for her. Move back to numbers and she can avoid speaking with people and just do the work, might be her actual thoughts.

[Novembro 1,763]

When I was doing TESOL classes, the Asian students were always the last to speak and only by being asked to do so. However, they had impeccable written skills, and if they would have spoken more often, impeccable speaking skills.

Always gotta be #1 at everything.

[Caryh 5,206]

I remember working with this girl who was a secretary/events coordinator. It was obvious to everyone she was capable and deserving of better job and she got a promotion and was really nervous and worried about it...more responsibility, more pressure...could be that

or maybe when they actually offer her a promotion she will go for it. You can never be sure of anything until you get an offer....is how I would think....

good luck to her either way !!! Numbers ftw !

I think it might be exactly what she's worried about. Not the work so much, but suddenly having to speak with customers in English.

[JTB11 1,079]

I think it might be exactly what she's worried about. Not the work so much, but suddenly having to speak with customers in English.

Lack of confidence is always a problem especially with languages....I can't speak french to save my life because of one jerk in Paris who mocked me over my french speaking skills (and that was 15 years ago...)....mind is a ####### sometimes.

Oh hey...how about ...if she doesn't understand someone at some point, she could pretend they are speaking her own language..that way it is a matter of just not hearing right not a matter of understanding another language ? Trick the mind so to speak....not sure If i am making sense.

I do hope she gets over that fear/worry cause she sounds like a very capable and intelligent woman.

ps: lunch in the oven...vegan noodles and veggies

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I think it might be exactly what she's worried about. Not the work so much, but suddenly having to speak with customers in English.

I seriously broke out in a cold sweat over the thought of speaking to anyone in Danish. I can kind of understand it verbally and written is great, but speaking is difficult. As part of my Spanish class, we have to record like 20 minutes a week of audio. That is challenging.

Lack of confidence is always a problem especially with languages....I can't speak french to save my life because of one jerk in Paris who mocked me over my french speaking skills (and that was 15 years ago...)....mind is a ####### sometimes.

Sorry you had a bad experience in France. Everyone always told me how mean people in Paris were, but I think it was about 13 years ago the first time I went and people were super nice and indulged my fledging French just fine. People in Montreal, not so much. After attempting to speak French there recently (after having studied French since I was 7), I never ever want to again. Awful.

[Novembro 1,763]

Getting Ali added to my insurance policy is such a ballache. Stupid USAA and their love of citizens.

Lack of confidence is always a problem especially with languages....I can't speak french to save my life because of one jerk in Paris who mocked me over my french speaking skills (and that was 15 years ago...)....mind is a ####### sometimes.

omg when I visited France, almost every national was a c*unt to me when they found out I was American. Don't take them to heart!