Should I marry him or go back home?

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Thank you for your kind words and for standing up for me against this insensitive person that posted on here earlier.

You are welcome. Check in with us if you feel like and let us know that you are alright and whatever you decide

I know will be best for what works for you. Meanwhile I hope you can build a support system of friends around you so you won't feel

so isolated in this country.

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

Marriage counseling before marriage? I guess that's the price he has to pay for not having enough brains to get rid of the evidence.

What is cheating? Seems some women consider merely thinking about having sex with another woman as cheating.

[Hollyday 122]

What is cheating? Seems some women consider merely thinking about having sex with another woman as cheating.

You've missed the line about sex ad on craigslist, haven't you?

[cdneh 3,112]

I think it would be a great idea if people posting stopped squabbling amongst themselves.

[hopeful12 1]

Sorry to hear your story... It's very sad and painful... before you make a decision, ask yourself if you want to be treated like that for the rest of your life with him? If he acts like that now, I'm sorry to say that, but he doesn't respect and care for you... and those are essential things for marriage

[TBoneTX 45,893]

I think it would be a great idea if people posting stopped squabbling amongst themselves.

True. One post has been removed for unnecessary profanity, and approximately a dozen others for bickering or reacting to bickering.

The OP sincerely finds herself in a situation of crisis. We can offer constructive opinions on the basis of what she has posted. We can't go beyond a certain point of judging her fiance (who is not here to admit or refute anything). We can certainly avoid detracting from and disrespecting the OP's situation.

Let's be respectful of the OP and of ourselves. It would be regrettable if any bickering or insults were to continue, because offenders will have to be banned from further participation in this thread.

TBoneTX

on behalf of VJ Moderation

[ir0nK1visa 2]

I HAVE to say try to go through a counselor and see if it is worth working it out. You are here and left many things to do so. In the end it is how you feel and can YOU regain that TRUST you had in him.

Did he meet someone or not, that may be in the back of your head for a long time, but can you truly forget. If you can not forget, it might be best to return home. As boring as it may be there are other ways for a man to take care of himself, but everyone is different.

I can say I am on the other side of this equation and it does not involve this, but does relate to trust. Again, I would try to work it out in the limited time you have here. I wish you the best, lots of patience and the clarity to make the RIGHT/BEST decision for yourself.

I KNOW it is not an easy decision, in my case we are already married.

[Brian1967## 119]

OP...I can see what you are going through is not easy but I will finally throw my two cents in the arena. I cannot say marry him, I cannot say go home, it is what is in your heart and what you think is best for you in the long haul. Think about where will you be in 5 years with this man or 10 for that matter? If you cannot see this, in my thoughts go home, but they are my thoughts only, I was married to a immigrant spouse who was a cheater, and I pretty much took the stand, once there was real proof of cheating I was out of the marriage, it tore me apart pretty much. But you do what is best for you your future and what you think will work. No matter what think of this saying from a British Prime Minister

"watch your words, they becaome your thoughts, watch your thoughts they become your actions, watch your actions they become your charater"

What is the character of your future husband....this matters, for a stable marriage and stable family if you plan to start one.

Demand Respect....if he cannot do this, what is the point of the marriage

Edited October 21, 2013 by Brian1967##