Older American woman Younger Algerian man

[berber_wife 90]

I have also seen a lot of generalizations about American men in here that are pretty bizarre along with generalizations about Moroccan men.

And of course the old, tired generalizations about Moroccan women being gold-digging baby makers.

[berber_wife 90]

People are individuals, not a breed. There are definite cultural traits that people absorb, and certainly values and morals instilled through upbringing. However, people make their own choices. If someone is a good person, it is because they choose to be-- not because of their genetics, environment, or even entirely their upbringing or religion.

This is one of the best things I've read on this board.

[sandinista! 1,816]

This is one of the best things I've read on this board.

She has a way of doing that.

[unionglory 6]

Adding, I am actually a couple years older than my husband. (insert token phrase about gee, it's a good thing he's such an old soul and I'm not really all that grown up, and am lucky to look so much younger, etc etc)

You left out the khadijah arguement and age is just a number ...

[sandinista! 1,816]

Some people on the board are more hand holdy touchy feely in their interactions here than others. Some are more acerbic. Honestly, when I was in major information seeking mode here, I learned more from the latter than the former. Mileage will vary. That's how Internet boards work. All kinds of personalities post on them, some you'll like more than others.

But even Peter Pan was relatively civil in this thread, which was like, whoa. It was weird how suddenly things got so derailed after really pretty tame commentary.

[unionglory 6]

I joined this site to get advice from people that were going thru the same thing. Good or bad, I did want to hear it all. But, some of you have been trash talking others and have been rude and hateful. You can take that ####### somewhere else. Even if you had a bad experience, I am sorry to hear that. If you left a reply, then leave it at that and move on. You can say all you want about MENA men but it won't change my mind about my man. I am sick of hearing you degrade him. You don't know him, you know nothing about him so who are you to pass judgement based on your bad experience?

Actually most of the people commenting are witnesses to the trainwrecks not the people in them.. They are NOT degrading your spouse.. What they are doing is recounting most of the 7 to 8 plus years they have been here and have see ALOT... You should really pay attention to Sandinista and Msheesha.. They have been around for years and years and have some pretty wise things to say.

No one is saying that people do not start with good intentions. No one is saying that people are morally bankrupt on either side. But someone marrying someone their kids age after several years is most likely going to lose that younger partner. They are going to want their own kids, looks fade etc. ESPECIALLY POST CITIZENSHIP. Does it mean all will end? No. But the majority of the moroccan, algerian and Egyptian men that I have met through 10 plus years who have citizenship through American spouses do not remain with them. Its not common for mena marriages to last anyway.. THrow in the age difference and honestly of all of those, I know one and its because hes sick and does not have having kids as a priority. Most of these guys want kids and even if they love their American wives at one point, most will eventually leave the marriage. Idealising these relationships is just dangerous.. Listen to these women talk and do whatever you want. But the reality is when you are in your 50s and he is in his 30s he will leave you.. maybe not for another woman but he will leave once he has established himself.. thats no offense to you.. Its just the way it is. I am sorry if it hurts.. But its just the way it is.. I am sorry. Dont come here and ask for opinions if you do not want them. The people here can recount all kinds of things to you if you ask them. The numbers are NOT good. Its not about the men. Its about these ridiculous age gap marriages that are completely not ok in the mena culture.If most American men dont want to marry their mom, most mena men dont either.. They will if they have to get out of the country.. but its sure not a first choice. If they could get a girl close in age that would convert to islam, thats a much better bet for them than marrying someone their moms age. And if Momma is ok with it, shes in on it. What mother in her right mind wants her kid marrying someone her age?

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

Actually most of the people commenting are witnesses to the trainwrecks not the people in them.. They are NOT degrading your spouse.. What they are doing is recounting most of the 7 to 8 plus years they have been here and have see ALOT... You should really pay attention to Sandinista and Msheesha.. They have been around for years and years and have some pretty wise things to say.

No one is saying that people do not start with good intentions. No one is saying that people are morally bankrupt on either side. But someone marrying someone their kids age after several years is most likely going to lose that younger partner. They are going to want their own kids, looks fade etc. ESPECIALLY POST CITIZENSHIP. Does it mean all will end? No. But the majority of the moroccan, algerian and Egyptian men that I have met through 10 plus years who have citizenship through American spouses do not remain with them. Its not common for mena marriages to last anyway.. THrow in the age difference and honestly of all of those, I know one and its because hes sick and does not have having kids as a priority. Most of these guys want kids and even if they love their American wives at one point, most will eventually leave the marriage. Idealising these relationships is just dangerous.. Listen to these women talk and do whatever you want. But the reality is when you are in your 50s and he is in his 30s he will leave you.. maybe not for another woman but he will leave once he has established himself.. thats no offense to you.. Its just the way it is. I am sorry if it hurts.. But its just the way it is.. I am sorry. Dont come here and ask for opinions if you do not want them. The people here can recount all kinds of things to you if you ask them. The numbers are NOT good. Its not about the men. Its about these ridiculous age gap marriages that are completely not ok in the mena culture.If most American men dont want to marry their mom, most mena men dont either.. They will if they have to get out of the country.. but its sure not a first choice. If they could get a girl close in age that would convert to islam, thats a much better bet for them than marrying someone their moms age. And if Momma is ok with it, shes in on it. What mother in her right mind wants her kid marrying someone her age?

All I can do is laugh at your racist post of older women. You only wish you looked like some of the older women who obviously have the guts to posts there picture here.

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

And of course the old, tired generalizations about Moroccan women being gold-digging baby makers.

Well it's true, a good portion of them are. I give ####### to my sisters all the time for saying, I really need to get married so I don't have to work anymore. Idk if they are my sisters, I tell them to get off there ### and support themselves and quit whining.

And of course the old, tired generalizations about Moroccan women being gold-digging baby makers.

Well it's true, a good portion of them are. I give ####### to my sisters all the time for saying, I really need to get married so I don't have to work anymore. Idk if they are my sisters, I tell them to get off there ### and support themselves and quit whining.

[Boiler 45,525]

Actually most of the people commenting are witnesses to the trainwrecks not the people in them.. They are NOT degrading your spouse.. What they are doing is recounting most of the 7 to 8 plus years they have been here and have see ALOT... You should really pay attention to Sandinista and Msheesha.. They have been around for years and years and have some pretty wise things to say.

No one is saying that people do not start with good intentions. No one is saying that people are morally bankrupt on either side. But someone marrying someone their kids age after several years is most likely going to lose that younger partner. They are going to want their own kids, looks fade etc. ESPECIALLY POST CITIZENSHIP. Does it mean all will end? No. But the majority of the moroccan, algerian and Egyptian men that I have met through 10 plus years who have citizenship through American spouses do not remain with them. Its not common for mena marriages to last anyway.. THrow in the age difference and honestly of all of those, I know one and its because hes sick and does not have having kids as a priority. Most of these guys want kids and even if they love their American wives at one point, most will eventually leave the marriage. Idealising these relationships is just dangerous.. Listen to these women talk and do whatever you want. But the reality is when you are in your 50s and he is in his 30s he will leave you.. maybe not for another woman but he will leave once he has established himself.. thats no offense to you.. Its just the way it is. I am sorry if it hurts.. But its just the way it is.. I am sorry. Dont come here and ask for opinions if you do not want them. The people here can recount all kinds of things to you if you ask them. The numbers are NOT good. Its not about the men. Its about these ridiculous age gap marriages that are completely not ok in the mena culture.If most American men dont want to marry their mom, most mena men dont either.. They will if they have to get out of the country.. but its sure not a first choice. If they could get a girl close in age that would convert to islam, thats a much better bet for them than marrying someone their moms age. And if Momma is ok with it, shes in on it. What mother in her right mind wants her kid marrying someone her age?

Very well put, you need to go in with your eyes open.

I am not sure how well known Jane Eyre is in the US, Pride and Prejudice etc.

If you look at the Character of Mrs Bennet for example she wanted her in the case Daughters to marry well, age was not an issue. Social position was.

I could quite see a MENA Mother taking a similar view, often is also seems it is considered and investment for the Family, not just the individual.

Edited October 16, 2013 by Boiler

[sandinista! 1,816]

MENA culture lesson: some people don't post photos out of ghayra reasoning. Mileage varies.

All I can do is laugh at your racist post of older women. You only wish you looked like some of the older women who obviously have the guts to posts there picture here.

[sandinista! 1,816]

MENA culture lesson: islamically, women are under no obligation to support themselves. If they're not married, it's their fathers and brothers job.

Well it's true, a good portion of them are. I give ####### to my sisters all the time for saying, I really need to get married so I don't have to work anymore. Idk if they are my sisters, I tell them to get off there #### and support themselves and quit whining.

Well it's true, a good portion of them are. I give ####### to my sisters all the time for saying, I really need to get married so I don't have to work anymore. Idk if they are my sisters, I tell them to get off there #### and support themselves and quit whining.

[MouadsWife 161]

Actually most of the people commenting are witnesses to the trainwrecks not the people in them.. They are NOT degrading your spouse.. What they are doing is recounting most of the 7 to 8 plus years they have been here and have see ALOT... You should really pay attention to Sandinista and Msheesha.. They have been around for years and years and have some pretty wise things to say.

No one is saying that people do not start with good intentions. No one is saying that people are morally bankrupt on either side. But someone marrying someone their kids age after several years is most likely going to lose that younger partner. They are going to want their own kids, looks fade etc. ESPECIALLY POST CITIZENSHIP. Does it mean all will end? No. But the majority of the moroccan, algerian and Egyptian men that I have met through 10 plus years who have citizenship through American spouses do not remain with them. Its not common for mena marriages to last anyway.. THrow in the age difference and honestly of all of those, I know one and its because hes sick and does not have having kids as a priority. Most of these guys want kids and even if they love their American wives at one point, most will eventually leave the marriage. Idealising these relationships is just dangerous.. Listen to these women talk and do whatever you want. But the reality is when you are in your 50s and he is in his 30s he will leave you.. maybe not for another woman but he will leave once he has established himself.. thats no offense to you.. Its just the way it is. I am sorry if it hurts.. But its just the way it is.. I am sorry. Dont come here and ask for opinions if you do not want them. The people here can recount all kinds of things to you if you ask them. The numbers are NOT good. Its not about the men. Its about these ridiculous age gap marriages that are completely not ok in the mena culture.If most American men dont want to marry their mom, most mena men dont either.. They will if they have to get out of the country.. but its sure not a first choice. If they could get a girl close in age that would convert to islam, thats a much better bet for them than marrying someone their moms age. And if Momma is ok with it, shes in on it. What mother in her right mind wants her kid marrying someone her age?

That really was presumptuative on your part, without lacking any true facts. Hurtful and very misleading to any current or future petitioners. Not helpful in any way shape or form. Who are you of all or any people to say that there future husbands will leave them. They will not stay? Really? You must have a big set of kahonas. Are you carrying around your husbands too?? You should not come on here and tell ANY petitioner that they will be left in the wind later on. If you can not give anyone constructive helpful advice without trying to tear down or rip apart someones world DONT POST. These are peoples lives. Not a game you can play with.

For any petitioner FOLLOW YOUR HEARTS. There are age differences that work. As some people have said.. people are individuals and you cant lump them into one bucket. People are different and different things work. Don't define others peoples failures as yours. Start thinking of your lifevas a sucess and it will be. Shut the negativity out and follow your dreams and hearts and be happy. Allah gave you one life to live... don't be afraid to live it. Dont live with regrets or what could have been. Live every moment. <3. Ps... and love every minute you can <3

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

MENA culture lesson: islamically, women are under no obligation to support themselves. If they're not married, it's their fathers and brothers job.

You don't have to tell me anything islamically speaking. I have six sisters, two in El Jadida married, and the other four live 16 hours from Morocco. We work to help our family, we don't ask for help from our families. Our mother is our priority, so yes, my sisters left their home to help support her many years ago, so,there goes your lesson right out the door.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Bumping your post because I thought you made some really great points that got overlooked in all the crazy.

I am 11+ years older than my fiance. When I first started the process, I worried about all my red flags. I kept thinking about all the ways we would be rejected. I even had imaginary conversations in my head with immigration officials pleading my case. Because, after all, I had the most amazing Egyptian fiance ever and I knew my words would just prove it.

Thankfully for me time was on my side. I didn't think so at first, but I have come to realize that in all this mess, DECA slowdowns and consulate closures gave me the chance to know my fiance even better. This summer I was fortunate enough to spend 70 days in Egypt. As a teacher, I was afforded that time. It totally took away the honeymoon feelings I had from my three previous (incredibly short in comparison) trips. We really saw each other's good sides and, well, our not so good sides. He discovered my true feelings on housework--which pretty much mirrored his feelings on delightfully delicious fruits and vegetables (basically he hated them).

One of the other reasons this time was so valuable was because I had family members (who truly love me) doing research. As you might suspect, this research spoke of the young Egyptian scammers. It convinced my family that I was making a huge mistake because the only thing my fiance wanted was a green card. How could I not see it? Because I love my family and I want an authentic, lifelong relationship with this man, I was able to explore those thoughts and ideas. And with the passage of more time there is no doubt. I know--even more strongly than I thought I knew before--that I am making the right decision. Thankfully, my family is making that mind change too.

As I look at the past year of waiting for my dreams to come true, I realize that all of our evidence building not only improved our case, but more importantly it strengthened my love for a 11+ year younger man who is imperfect, just like me.

Best wishes for your journey.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Point? Essentially they're assisting in what is 100% your job and fulfilling your obligations, and you go online and talk ####### about them because they don't want to do your job for you anymore. Hshuma.

You don't have to tell me anything islamically speaking. I have six sisters, two in El Jadida married, and the other four live 16 hours from Morocco. We work to help our family, we don't ask for help from our families. Our mother is our priority, so yes, my sisters left their home to help support her many years ago, so,there goes your lesson right out the door.