Older American woman Younger Algerian man

[MouadsWife 161]

You don't have to tell me anything islamically speaking. I have six sisters, two in El Jadida married, and the other four live 16 hours from Morocco. We work to help our family, we don't ask for help from our families. Our mother is our priority, so yes, my sisters left their home to help support her many years ago, so,there goes your lesson right out the door.

Hey! My husband worked in El Jadida! Restaurant Ozoud...

[sandinista! 1,816]

Nice.

[MouadsWife 161]

Point? Essentially they're assisting in what is 100% your job and fulfilling your obligations, and you go online and talk ####### about them because they don't want to do your job for you anymore. Hshuma.

Why are you telling him shuma? Why is it 100% his job? Is a family effort. We have a business and I have a full time job. My husband and I 'both' work 10 hour days. Sometimes 11 hour days. It is not just always a male responsibility. You should not shuma anyone who works hard to care for his family. Shuma goes to the judgemental one pointing finger.

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

Hey! My husband worked in El Jadida! Restaurant Ozoud...

I resided in Fes where my family is from, but my moms family lives in El Jadida, where she felt most at home when I left. Me and my wife are retired, yes at a young age of 30, my wife is 45 and I personally enjoy taking care of her. We travel to morocco often, have a home in Fes, and basically just have a good life.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Because if they don't want to work they don't have to. Whether he likes it or not. scampering off to the US while not providing for all of the women in your family, instead of just the ones you pick and choose is, well, shameful. As is talking ####### about them to a bunch of strangers, and MOST OF ALL making any references to inflicting violence on them. But whatever. Selective outrage. Sheesh.

[MouadsWife 161]

I resided in Fes where my family is from, but my moms family lives in El Jadida, where she felt most at home when I left. Me and my wife are retired, yes at a young age of 30, my wife is 45 and I personally enjoy taking care of her. We travel to morocco often, have a home in Fes, and basically just have a good life.

I have some friends that are from Fez too. I have not visited the area of Fez, but I have heard it is beautiful.

[mahboula 11]

I joined this site to get advice from people that were going thru the same thing. Good or bad, I did want to hear it all. But, some of you have been trash talking others and have been rude and hateful. You can take that ####### somewhere else. Even if you had a bad experience, I am sorry to hear that. If you left a reply, then leave it at that and move on. You can say all you want about MENA men but it won't change my mind about my man. I am sick of hearing you degrade him. You don't know him, you know nothing about him so who are you to pass judgement based on your bad experience?

I really don't think anyone is trying to change your mind. I've read the whole 7 pages over the last couple of days. I don't remember every post, but I didn't notice anyone degrading him either. I think most people were sincerely trying to offer their best advice. I'm going to do my best to offer mine without offending anyone.

We want to prove that we are serious about each other and that we are in a real relationship.

The first few replies after your original post offer the most important advice for you at this stage. Slow down. Spend as much time together in person as you possibly can before you file.

Save everything: chat logs, emails, pictures, boarding passes, receipts...the list goes on and on. You can search these forums and find hundreds of threads discussing the evidence people send with their petitions and/or bring to the interview.

I would like to know what the chances of older woman/younger man getting approved for visa?

Before I answer that, I wanted to say that a denial is not supposed to be based on age difference alone, even though it seems people are denied for that reason often. So, again, take your time. Build a strong case. Don't let them find another reason.

Anyway I don't have numbers for you, but I've heard/read about plenty of approvals for MENA couples with similar age gaps. A few of those couples got through the process without a hiccup. Most of them, however, didn't have it so easy. Some of the couples faced a denial the first time around. Some of them waited two or three years or longer, and dealt with multiple denials. In the end though, they got what they were fighting for. If you search the MENA forum for denials, refusals, 221g's, age gaps, etc you'll find loads of information. I won't tell you it will be fast or easy, but I do think your chances are pretty good if age difference is the only issue.

I need to know that there are some happy endings for us older women who fall in love with younger men

Like the others have said, if by "happy endings" you mean the visa was issued, then there are plenty.

If you mean still together after citizenship and financial independence, there are some, but not too many. I think some of those ladies already shared their stories with you.

Personally, I don't know any. I've stayed in touch online or in person with some of the couples that went through the immigration process around the same time as I did. They are American women married to Algerians or Moroccans. I could probably remember more, but right now I can think of 12 couples. Of the twelve, five are still married and seven are divorced. In 5 of those couples the woman was ten or more years older. All five of the younger man/ older woman couples are now divorced. All of them say the age difference was not the reason for the divorce. Anyway, those are just the people I know, I'm not implying in any way that those numbers mean a damn thing.

Honestly, I do hope that this man is everything you think he is. I do believe that it's possible for a couple with your age difference to have a successful marriage.

Yes, most Algerian guys are great. They love their country. They don't want to leave their home. But here's the thing...there are tons of Algerian guys online looking for women to marry as a way out of Algeria. They look for Europeans, Americans, Canadians...wherever they think they will be happier, and find more opportunities. They tend to look for older, divorced women who they think will be more financially stable. More desperate for a man. Easier to fool. Most likely to come to Algeria and believe their silly love stories. These guys exist. And they do think like that. And they will tell you anything you want to hear. How on earth can you logically dismiss the possibility that this guy might be one of them? It makes no sense to me at all. You've got all of these little red flags waving at you. Please, don't ignore them. Investigate them first and then hopefully you can dismiss them. Just stop pretending they are not there. He could very well turn out to be everything you think he is, but what if he isn't? People keep telling you "eyes wide open", "blinders off"...and I agree with them. This is not the time to "follow your heart", you've got to let your brain do some of the work here. Be happy, be in love, but don't be a fool.

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

I have some friends that are from Fez too. I have not visited the area of Fez, but I have heard it is beautiful.

You should go next time, my wife is ready to pack it up and live there. Enjoy your evening, getting ready to enjoy a lamb tagine. Lol, wife said, are you done harassing those haters of us old women. Maybe ?? Maybe not

[sandinista! 1,816]

What now?


Well it's true, a good portion of them are. I give ####### to my sisters all the time for saying, I really need to get married so I don't have to work anymore. Idk if they are my sisters, I tell them to get off there #### and support themselves and quit whining.

Maybe that's where the assumption came from, your own words?

My husband's father takes care of his unmarried daughter, if at any point he was not able to, then my husband would. From here or there, or wherever he was. What he wouldn't do is talk about any of them derogatorily online, regardless of anything, for any reason ever. Or make reference to inflicting violence on any living being. Least of all any female, ever. One of many ways he differs...

Awww here she goes assuming I didn't take care of my sisters. Didn't your husband scamper off to the U.S.too.

Edited October 17, 2013 by Kathryn41
to remove personal attack

[MouadsWife 161]

You should go next time, my wife is ready to pack it up and live there. Enjoy your evening, getting ready to enjoy a lamb tagine. Lol, wife said, are you done harassing those haters of us old women. Maybe ?? Maybe not

Lol... we are doing the same thing. My husband slaughtered a lamb yesterday. I must say you have done a mighty fine job on our behalf of defense/harassment... I hope you and your wife have a very enjoyable evening.

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

What now?

Well it's true, a good portion of them are. I give ####### to my sisters all the time for saying, I really need to get married so I don't have to work anymore. Idk if they are my sisters, I tell them to get off there #### and support themselves and quit whining.

Maybe that's where the assumption came from, your own words?

My husband's father takes care of his unmarried daughter, if at any point he was not able to, then my husband would. From here or there, or wherever he was. What he wouldn't do is talk about any of them derogatorily online, regardless of anything, for any reason ever. Or make reference to inflicting violence on any living being. Least of all any female, ever. One of many ways he differs...

And where in my posts did I inflict violence onto my sisters. It's not okay by any means in MY family to say such things about marrying any man just as a means to quit working, etc.

Edited October 17, 2013 by Kathryn41
remove personal attack

[Nasturtium 500]

MENA culture lesson: some people don't post photos out of ghayra reasoning. Mileage varies.

Yep! I am surprised anyone who was MENA would not realize that was a possibility. Also the whole site-which-cannot-be-mentioned photo-stealing issue as well. Or maybe I am just hideous. Or maybe all three! Maybe A and B? B and C? So many choices.

I shall consult an agnostic groundhog for guidance.

Lol... we are doing the same thing. My husband slaughtered a lamb yesterday. I must say you have done a mighty fine job on our behalf of defense/harassment... I hope you and your wife have a very enjoyable evening.

Who is harassing you?

[sparkles_ 456]

All I can do is laugh at your racist post of older women. You only wish you looked like some of the older women who obviously have the guts to posts there picture here.

LOL it is called ageism, not racism. Racism is discrimination based on race/ethnic background....being older isn't a race. Relax, it is far from a looks competition. Don't borderline insult someone else, I see no photo of you either.

Anyway...interesting conversations going on inside this post

Edited October 16, 2013 by beccabecca

[Nasturtium 500]

Awww here she goes assuming I didn't take care of my sisters. Didn't your husband scamper off to the U.S.too.

Please tell me everything you know about her husband. Because you seem to insist you know a lot. How many times have you met him? Where does he work? Does he work? What are his interests? What are his values? What is his religious preference? Does he follow his religion? Where did he come from? How many family members does he have? Does he care for them? What was he doing last night at 6:45pm? Do you think he may like us? Should we write him a note and have him circle yes or no?

Really, dude, you keep talking about her husband. I'm pretty sure that you don't know him, just as none of us really know you or your wife-- only what you write. She hasn't written a whole lot about him. So everything you keep saying is assumption. She keeps discussing things you have said in this thread, quoting you. There is a difference here. One is working with a poster and their text. Another is just making assumptions. You should lay off the assumptions. If you want to start an awesome back-and-forth, then use her own words about stuff. Also, try keeping to the context in which they were said.

Edited October 17, 2013 by Kathryn41
to remove personal attacks in quote

[MouadsWife 161]

Yep! I am surprised anyone who was MENA would not realize that was a possibility. Also the whole site-which-cannot-be-mentioned photo-stealing issue as well. Or maybe I am just hideous. Or maybe all three! Maybe A and B? B and C? So many choices.

I shall consult an agnostic groundhog for guidance.

Who is harassing you?

Lolol.. that was a JOKEEE between Me and Madeinmorocco2... hhhhhhh. If you would have read the entire post of his you would have seen that it was a statement that his wife had made in a joking manner to him off the board.. I repeat... a joke, a joke. Lolol. Once again we are presuming.