Older American woman Younger Algerian man

[Purpled23 2]

So, I am moving my story and questions here because I need some advice from anyone that can relate. I am a 40 year old American woman who is in love with a 22 year old Algerian man. We met online and have been talking for awhile now. We Skype every night, send messages thru email every day and even call or text each other when we can. I am planning a trip to visit him in Algeria this April for a week. We both know that it is love we feel for each other and we want to be together. We are not trying to rush trying to get a visa to be together because we don't want to mess anything up. We want to prove that we are serious about each other and that we are in a real relationship. We have read different stories both good and bad. What we are wanting to know is which is the best way to go about getting the visa? Is the K1 fiancé visa the best or the spouse visa? I would like to know what the chances of older woman/younger man getting approved for visa? All I have seen on here is older man/younger woman getting approved and I guess I need to know that there are some happy endings for us older women who fall in love with younger men. The one I love, I couldn't imagine not having him in my life. He is amazing and such a wonderful person. There is no doubt in my mind when it comes to him. It is real love and I cant wait to be with him. Thank you for any and all advice.

[Boiler 45,553]

Are you also of Algerian heritage?

Any children involved?

[berber_wife 90]

Before you go to Algeria, get yourself an accordion file folder, and put all boarding passes, receipts, and other paper evidence in it to use in the future if you decide to file.

Aside from that, wipe marriages and visas from your mind. Focus your energies on getting to know him and determining whether you are actually compatible face-to-face.

All you need to file is one visit, but I would recommend getting as much in-person time as you can. Yes, it looks better to immigration, but much more importantly, it gives your relationship a stronger foundation. After all, isn't the ultimate goal not simply to get a visa but to have a happy and long-lasting marriage?

As far as older woman-younger man relationships, from reading the archives it seems like there are 3-4 couples that made it past the five-year mark. I don't think any of them are still active. As far as current posters, I think mimolicious has an age gap of 20 years (although you wouldn't be able to tell from her picture!)

Good luck.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

There are several members who frequent this sub forum who have a similar age difference and are still together with their respective partners. Some have been pretty lucky when it came to the Embassy stage of the visa process but others have been denied the first or even second time around and their immigration journey drags on for years. I think it depends on the evidence you provide and its quality and also the perceived intentions of the beneficiary (consular officers and investigators always have their ways of finding out the truth).

I agree with Berber, forget about the immigration aspect of this for a while. Visit him and make sure he's really the same man you converse with online. Spend quality time with him and get to know him. Meet his family and spend time with them. Decide if he is really a suitable partner for you in the long run and make damn sure he has the best of intentions (I realize that some scammers are very adept at concealing their intentions for a long time but most of them are pretty transparent if you look at them objectively). Be mindful of the fact that your relationship in his culture is very bizarre, not well accepted, and that most likely he would never marry an Algerian woman your age. Most MENA cultures are very paternalistic and center life around the family unit. It is very uncommon for a young man to accept marrying a partner who cannot give him children or is edging up toward menopause, and even if he isn't enthusiastic about babies, his relatives would certainly be on his case about it. That's not to say this guy isn't well intentioned, but you need to confirm it with eyes wide open.

[momof1 205]

Take what you like snd what is beneficial from what I say. I've been martied to my Algerian husband for more than 11 years. We have two boys and another coming in 3 weeks. Except for one Couple on this board(meriem dz), I've never known in real life or online any other couple in your exact situation. All of the couples are close in age or have an older Algerian husband like myself. Over the last couple years, as the number of applicants from Algeria increases, it has become a much more difficult embassy ti get through than it once was. I cannot say his intentions aren't real but for sure it is a odd combination there. Even though the age difference between my husband and I is commin(10 yrs), I know my ILs would have preferred he married an Algerian... Even after all these years and the grandchildren I gave them. My children were their first grandchildren and no doubt they love them and me very much. However, I'm sure I'm not what they ever imagined for their son.

Concentrate on getting to know him better. Knowing what I know, I'd be concerned if him or his family pushed you to move too fast.

[Purpled23 2]

Are you also of Algerian heritage?

Any children involved?

No, I am not of Algerian heritage. I do have 2 children from previous marriage.

[Boiler 45,553]

I would suggest you look on the MENA forum, there are many ladies with a similar profile there.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I had a really bad experience marrying someone younger than me for more than one reason. 18 years is a crazy age difference and as time goes by its going to matter more and more. I ended up divorcing him 6 years after we married and at first it was just awful. About 3 months later, I was in home depot and met a guy who smiled at me..Well guess what? He is from ALGERIA and has his papers LOL...and is one year younger. He married an American woman and it did not work out and left her.. Which to me is just incredible irony. We have been living together for about 5 months and hes everything the guy I married was not.

Personally, I would NEVER recommend marrying with such a huge age difference,especially someone that young. But if you are happy and he is happy and you can survive it if it does not last, go ahead. You never get a second chance to start all over and even though my experience was really hard, I learned alot and if every single thing had not happened EXACTLY the way it happened. I would never have met the wonderful man I am with . He is from the far east of Algeria and is very simple. My ex was flashy and Orani, total opposites. I cannot say that I could have EVER predicted I would meet an Algerian in home depot and we would end up living together but it happened.. So for all the pain I went through getting used for a greencard and passport and hurt so badly, I ended up ok.

You jump in. You hope for the best. You figure out a way to emotionally survive if he leaves you.

And then you wait for interesting things to happen, because they always do LOL

[Cathi 5,757]

Hello, I am 21 years older than my husband, we didn't have any issues because of our age difference as far as being approved.. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and we are different religions. I will say that my husband and I spent quite a bit of time together in real life before taking the leap into marriage. I don't think a week is long enough to really get to know someone(my opinion). His family and mine approved of the the relationship(and marriage), which in a MENA country is very important, we were both questioned in depth about family approval at the interview(I attended with him). Between the time of filing the petition and the time of the interview(which was 6 months) we were together in real life(in his country)for over half that time. I think every relationship is different and you need to make the decision realistically. You need to think of what life will be like after he is here. You need to be prepared and have supporting evidence to submit with the petition. We did not present a huge amount of evidence, but I think the fact that we had spent so much time together worked in our favor. My husband has been here for almost exactly a year(Oct 12), we are very happy and our marriage is very strong, but we both work at it. For us the age difference hasn't been an issue, but I will say that I think of it more than he does(I am 48 he is 27). We are very lucky, my family and friends love him and the same goes for his family and friends, they love me. It took my husband 5 months before he found his first job in the US(which was a nightmare job) and an additional 5 months beyond that for him to find a job in his field. Even with a degree in computer engineering and experience in his home country, no one in the US was willing to hire a new immigrant with zero experience here, it was tough. He works as an intern, but he loves his job, they treat him well, and in December when his contract is up they have already told him they will hire him on a permanent basis(YAY!). I can't tell you what to do, that is up to you, but just make sure you weigh all the factors and think it through long and hard. The visa process is long and difficult(not to mention expensive) and puts a lot of stress on the relationship, it isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs, and once he gets here it is even more difficult. For us it has worked out and it was worth every last tear and penny we spent. We are one of the success stories(so far). Best of luck.

Cathi

Before you go to Algeria, get yourself an accordion file folder, and put all boarding passes, receipts, and other paper evidence in it to use in the future if you decide to file.

Aside from that, wipe marriages and visas from your mind. Focus your energies on getting to know him and determining whether you are actually compatible face-to-face.

All you need to file is one visit, but I would recommend getting as much in-person time as you can. Yes, it looks better to immigration, but much more importantly, it gives your relationship a stronger foundation. After all, isn't the ultimate goal not simply to get a visa but to have a happy and long-lasting marriage?

As far as older woman-younger man relationships, from reading the archives it seems like there are 3-4 couples that made it past the five-year mark. I don't think any of them are still active. As far as current posters, I think mimolicious has an age gap of 20 years (although you wouldn't be able to tell from her picture!)

Good luck.

awwwwwww..thank you

[JLSBMF 16]

I am 20 years older than my fiancée and have 4 children from my previous marriages. We were approved without AP on 9/12 for his K1 visa. He will be here god willing by December 15th. We have been together 2 years and I have been to Amman 5 times and I am also Middle Eastern. I believe the number of my visits and the fact we applied one year after being together plus all the proof of our relationship I presented assured the consulate our relationship was solid.

It has not been easy by any means, it tests every fiber of the relationship and trust me when I say I have been on an emotional roller coaster. If it weren’t for my friends here such as the lovely mimolicious supporting me and listening to me complain I probably would have thrown in the towel.

Thank god I didn’t cause we are so happy right now - over the hurdle and with the stress of the visa gone we are once again madly in love

I know it won’t always be like this and we have many more hurdles to face once he arrives but nothing can be as hard as being separated for two years and not knowing if we would be approved or end up in AP.

My best advice is get to know him - dont rush into the visa process because you need a solid foundation to build on.

Age is just a number and we laugh all the time because he is much more mature than I am and thankfully I take excellent care of myself so the age difference is not too apparent.

I pray to continue to be one of the success stories too

best of luck

Jen

[Cathi 5,757]

I am 20 years older than my fiancée and have 4 children from my previous marriages. We were approved without AP on 9/12 for his K1 visa. He will be here god willing by December 15th. We have been together 2 years and I have been to Amman 5 times and I am also Middle Eastern. I believe the number of my visits and the fact we applied one year after being together plus all the proof of our relationship I presented assured the consulate our relationship was solid.

It has not been easy by any means, it tests every fiber of the relationship and trust me when I say I have been on an emotional roller coaster. If it weren’t for my friends here such as the lovely mimolicious supporting me and listening to me complain I probably would have thrown in the towel.

Thank god I didn’t cause we are so happy right now - over the hurdle and with the stress of the visa gone we are once again madly in love

I know it won’t always be like this and we have many more hurdles to face once he arrives but nothing can be as hard as being separated for two years and not knowing if we would be approved or end up in AP.

My best advice is get to know him - dont rush into the visa process because you need a solid foundation to build on.

Age is just a number and we laugh all the time because he is much more mature than I am and thankfully I take excellent care of myself so the age difference is not too apparent.

I pray to continue to be one of the success stories too

best of luck

Jen

You are a strong woman, and a good friend, I know in my heart all will be good once your sweetheart arrives. Jen, you are very realistic in your expectations, which is essential. Anyone who thinks that after their other half arrives everything will be smooth sailing is just, well, delusional. The petition and visa process was the easy part, the real work begins the day your fiance' or husband sets foot off that plane onto US soil.

[visaqueries 111]

I am 11+ years older than my fiance. When I first started the process, I worried about all my red flags. I kept thinking about all the ways we would be rejected. I even had imaginary conversations in my head with immigration officials pleading my case. Because, after all, I had the most amazing Egyptian fiance ever and I knew my words would just prove it.

Thankfully for me time was on my side. I didn't think so at first, but I have come to realize that in all this mess, DECA slowdowns and consulate closures gave me the chance to know my fiance even better. This summer I was fortunate enough to spend 70 days in Egypt. As a teacher, I was afforded that time. It totally took away the honeymoon feelings I had from my three previous (incredibly short in comparison) trips. We really saw each other's good sides and, well, our not so good sides. He discovered my true feelings on housework--which pretty much mirrored his feelings on delightfully delicious fruits and vegetables (basically he hated them).

One of the other reasons this time was so valuable was because I had family members (who truly love me) doing research. As you might suspect, this research spoke of the young Egyptian scammers. It convinced my family that I was making a huge mistake because the only thing my fiance wanted was a green card. How could I not see it? Because I love my family and I want an authentic, lifelong relationship with this man, I was able to explore those thoughts and ideas. And with the passage of more time there is no doubt. I know--even more strongly than I thought I knew before--that I am making the right decision. Thankfully, my family is making that mind change too.

As I look at the past year of waiting for my dreams to come true, I realize that all of our evidence building not only improved our case, but more importantly it strengthened my love for a 11+ year younger man who is imperfect, just like me.

Best wishes for your journey.

[JLSBMF 16]

Thank you Cathi my friend and inspiration to overcome all of these hurdles....

We are both strong woman loved by amazing men.....

hugs - jen

[SarAyouBliss 38]

Before you go to Algeria, get yourself an accordion file folder, and put all boarding passes, receipts, and other paper evidence in it to use in the future if you decide to file.

Aside from that, wipe marriages and visas from your mind. Focus your energies on getting to know him and determining whether you are actually compatible face-to-face.

All you need to file is one visit, but I would recommend getting as much in-person time as you can. Yes, it looks better to immigration, but much more importantly, it gives your relationship a stronger foundation. After all, isn't the ultimate goal not simply to get a visa but to have a happy and long-lasting marriage?

As far as older woman-younger man relationships, from reading the archives it seems like there are 3-4 couples that made it past the five-year mark. I don't think any of them are still active. As far as current posters, I think mimolicious has an age gap of 20 years (although you wouldn't be able to tell from her picture!)

Good luck.

I & my wife have 28 years age gap, i'm the young one, and we made it just recently on Aug 2013, i got my IR-1 visa, most people had no hope for us, but with comittement we made it at one of the toughest US consulate in the world....Casablanca.

It took 2 1/2 years since the date of filing with a denial + NOIR to finaly get approved, lots of drama pain frustration limbo but it is still possible with such significant age difference.

I'm here in the US waiting for an end to this government shutdown so i can obtain my social security #. Plz don't be discouraged, you can make it, you're blessed to be here in Visajourney prior to filing, learn as much as possible, and i agree with Futureberberwife, get to know your hubby deeply, learn from others' mistakes, and ignore those who try to discourage you, alright? Peace

Edited October 10, 2013 by SarAyouBliss

[Purpled23 2]

We would like to say thank you to all of your positive feedback. It means so much to us to hear about your success stories and we hope one day we can do the same for another couple. You have given us hope that there is a chance for us. So thank you, thank you, thank you!