Hopeless and broken hearted 2nd chances????

[milimelo 4,541]

As stated in your earlier topic - get a divorce. Then sit down and write a letter to USCIS and the U.S. Embassy about this marriage. Might as well mention he told you he married you for a green card and he wants to bring his girlfriend from India.

Move out, start a new life for yourself and completely forget about ex and his family. I understand some Indian families meddle in affairs, but you have to put a stop to it or they'll be running your life.

For cell phone - you can cancel the contract fully and then make an arrangement to pay it off over certain time - ask the customer service billing rep.

[Joaozinho 15]

A trick to the phone situation is to call the phone company and tell them it's stolen. They won't charge you any fees and you will still pay the monthly bill, but it will prevent him from using the phone any further.

I'm sorry you've had to go through this. You can definitely do better. Never settle for less. Divorce and move on. He will get whatever is coming to him, so let karma have him and his family.

[Allymash 7]

The best thing to do is move on. You will find someone who man you truly happy and who treats you like a queen.

don't cheat yourself out of happiness.

[kzielu 1,149]

OP - keep reading sandranj's post over and over again. And then again.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I disconnected his india international vonage calling plan today. And cant do The same for his phone under my name. Have pay 270 breaking the contract and 400 to pay off remaining balance for his phone. Like I said less than 20 dollars in my personal account. I have a job interview tomorrow. Time to get a real job support myself and pay the bills....my education has been affected the most not doing so well. This is killing me, instead of focusing on school its this.

Omg yes marry ugh but I took him back... and was ashamed to admit it...

yes and embarased to admit took him back...so resorted making a new profile. Feel foolish.

Call the phone company about turning the phone off. Like you would if you child was grounded. It doesn't usually cost a fee. Tell them the situation and see if they can help. Sometimes honesty really is the best policy.

A trick to the phone situation is to call the phone company and tell them it's stolen. They won't charge you any fees and you will still pay the monthly bill, but it will prevent him from using the phone any further.

I'm sorry you've had to go through this. You can definitely do better. Never settle for less. Divorce and move on. He will get whatever is coming to him, so let karma have him and his family.

This is true too. I would tell them that your soon to be ex husband stole the phone though and won't give it back.

[Justine+David 218]

It's hard, but you have to let him go. Divorce and move on. He will NEVER love you the way you want him too. When you get married, you forsake all others and you two need to be the highest priority for each other, NOT family. If he's not willing to choose you over his family, he's not worth it.

[FaithfulandTrue 6]

It's time to move on.. it's hard I know because YOU love him, but it's not reciprocal.. he is to forsake all others, that includes family and you two work at your marriage.. when others become involved it's a big mess.. I was told by my SIL this is how we do it in Egypt.. I said I'm not in Egypt but America and he is too.. you are his number one priority not the other way around.. I will say do not lay a hand on him so he can say you did something to him.. I know I never did but still was blamed for everything.. I am feeling a little better and at least my mom and kids feel a whole lot better.. he sounds selfish.. those type of fish you need to throw back in the sea.. my ex tried to dig a ditch for me but I promise when you do that, both can fall in.. let it go please for your safety and your dignity.. God bless you

[Cathi 5,783]

This is by far the longest post I have read on this site, and to tell you the truth I didn't read it all. I skipped to the end(You said in your very first sentence you wouldn't get into specifics then you proceeded to write a novel). The only thin you can do is divorce and move on. He used you, it's obvious, time to pull yourself up and move on

Edited October 2, 2013 by mimolicious

[verysadguy 170]

Sandranj is right. It is time to cut your losses and run. Go to therapy/counseling if you need emotional support beyond family and friends.

I tell my clients this.

He never loved you. It was a romance scam. He is a user. You loved a facade an apparition. Even at his sweetest, sexiest, and most romantic IT WAS NOT REAL. He is a sociopath and a liar. You were in love with a false front. You must tell yourself this over and over until you can move past the hurt.

True love is supported by actions that support the words and don't undermine you, stab you in the back, hurt you emotionally and physically and financially.

Good luck!

Divorce now. Change ever bill, account, and lock on your home. If there is evidence of fraud, collect it, protect it, and send copies with a cover letter to USCIS, ICE, your congressman etc.

I believe scumbags should be sent home. We have enough in the USA already. Lots of good folks too thank God.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You received good advice even in the other thread and the same still stands. You have to look within yourself to figure out why you allow yourself

to get used like that over and over again and why you reach out to strangers with such overwhelming detail.

Go to a professional therapist to receive the help you need. No one here can tell you how to make it all magically work.

Sometimes writing is therapeutic but action is still the necessary thing to do and whatever is in your best interest must be decided upon

by yourself.

He told you he married you for a green card and he wants to bring his girlfriend from India. What more is there to say ?

You know what to do, you just need to do it. Empower yourself.

[Nsempa 2]

Are you the same person in this thread?

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/443096-fradulent-husband-married-for-a-visa/

Sure sounds like the same person.

[mkaurd 2]

I won't get in to specifics, but I feel like am fighting a losing battle. My husband, (who is from India), has been in the states since Jan 10, 2013. I spent majority of last year making sure that I was in India so he would not jeopardize his case. We were married March 19, 2013. Got engaged July 15th, 2010. After getting denied the K1 route decided to go to India and get married. I have no family there at all. My parents accompanied me for the wedding. I spent 4 months there then, again flew back in October 2012 when he got a letter for an interview at the embassy. I stayed until Jan 8th then flew back with my husband.

I left my education, job, family, life behind, to start a new one with my husband. Since Jan 15th-September 1, 2013 I have worked a job that is the just minimum wage but we got buy until my husband would start working. Our initial plan was for me to return back to school and finish while he worked. We resided with my parents so it was not an issue, we were saving up to leave, but of course I had bills of my own, insurance, car insurance, cell phone, some previous credit card bill I bought my ticket to India with, just less than a 2000. I was also paying my family with some bills. why should we live for free? I'm married. With that being said, my husbands father resides in New York, his two nephews and sister reside in Texas the only family they have. He wanted us to relocate to Texas. The moment my husband go his green card he started threatening him and saying he would leave to India if he didn't come to Texas. HIs dad has been in the states for 20 years illegally. He has not seen his son in since 2004.

Prior to marrying my husband it was arranged we agreed we would live in California only, and not move to Texas, as well as build our future financially and not send money home unless we had extra( but I was told they were well off back home so no need), and I would continue school after marriage priority(because I postponed it for him)... He agreed as well as both families. As soon as he got here he started getting influence by his father and pretty much every day we would fight argue over our location... I avoided it as long as I could but it eventually got to me. And my family would see this and sit us down and calm us. It started becoming pretty much every 2 months. In the summer I wanted to finally enroll in classes, but could not do so, because now that my husband was working transportation, his dad expected him to help pay off the debt back home. We started arguing over this, I was dumb founded that this man is still living with my parents and I'm paying all of our expenses and he wants to send money back home 80% of his check? His dad sends all his money there so why? HIs dad told me my education was not a priority his debt was. It hurt me, and the fact his son agreed felt betrayed.

July approaches and my husband goes to visit Texas and his Dad flew there and his sister and her family came from Canada. He spent two weeks, while I worked. We had 2000 in savings, when he got back he finally added me (I was never added on his bank account didn't want me, I never pushed.) . I saw he had spent 1000 on clothing that he had not shown me, He had just purchased a new wardrobe in January prior to coming here that his dad sent him money for. He had gained weight by March and those items did not fit. So I purchased him a couple items as well as my Mom. I had gained weight and had not bought a single item. I wanted to lose weight and fit in to my old wardrobe. I confronted him and he said I bought you a coach purse. It was thoughtful, but my objective was to move on our own and finally start our married lives. We have never been alone or lived together without anyone. He apologized and told me no big deal, I have worked for everything I've ever had, he's been given everything. He's 30.

I was very upset and blew up and told him he doesn't appreciate a single thing I do. I had purchased him a 600 dollar phone when he first arrived with unlimited calling back home, so he wouldn't be homesick....While I kept my broken blackberry, that did not have internet fearing only one could in this relationship until we made more. Whenever there was a family event or a trip I was stuck working while he went and had fun. I didn't mind, I assumed its a relationship and short period before he contributes. He would not go out with my friends, he didn't feel confident speaking English. He didn't even attend events for those friends that spoke the same language. I had done so in India...and did not like it, but that's life...I was always stuck at home while he was out with his friends in India...On new years eve he chose his friends over me, I nvr kissed a guy at midnight and told him how important it was for him to do so and being my husband it would mean the world...He chose his friends...I was hurt but figured its his last time with those group of friends and should not hold it against him...

For the past month I quit my job and started school, I paid everything out of pocket. He told me to find an apartment, I juggled through hoops getting kicked out of his bosses office for asking for paystubs. I was unaware my husband did not keep count of how far or how much he made. They owed him more...He does not get taxed hes an independent operator... So my husband was embarrassed they did that and yelled at me... We went at it in the car... He told me he wished he never married me....I cried....I continued to get his documents together even taking him to Irs getting forms, and missing exams and class... We started arguing more. I felt that I was not getting appreciated, I had to take care of house hold responsibility, education and him. It was unfair, I was anxious to move, just waiting for the approval for the complex.

His dad started the Texas issue up again two weeks ago. I ended up telling him our marriage was being effected and he was the root cause. He needed to allow his son to start his life and me finish school. He lashed out on me, and I told him rudely, the only way you'll get him to Texas is, if we divorce.... On September 20th my husband came back from work and was discussing Texas, over and over, we got in an argument. He took off...Whenever something occurred between us everyone was involved his family mine everyone. Its embarrassing I was not brought up that way but he feels the need to include everyone...I've always been blamed regardless of what happened. when he ran up our phone bill talkn internationally when he had a line for that. when I saw naked pictures of his friends wives sent to him discussing intimate details of our sexual life. Thank god I don't believe in pictures... I moved on...Saturday he was crying and I felt bad, my family have had enough, he needed to grow up and realize he couldn't always get his way. I was even trying to submit hw before the 12midnight deadline, but was preoccupied by him. I told him enough is enough chose Texas or me? He told me he chooses his Dad, and he could replace me but not him. His dad was given the option of moving here and being with his son... I was so hurt... He took the keys and took off. I told my brothers, they were livid, and threw his bags outside, after calming them down, I brought his belongings inside. They told me that you guys need your own place we had told him couple months ago. I told them we were days away from being approved for the complex. They even said they would cosign and give us 2 months rent. I told them no, we needed to do it on our own... I continued calling my husband he did not answer and he was not familiar with surroundings. I was worried submitted my work in late, got an F. My fault...

He slept downstairs that night, and in the morning I woke up and asked him how he was and decide one last time...He told me he chose his dad, and married me only for a green card. My heart broke and ended up slapping him. First time I've done that in my life.. He said of course your going to do this sarcastically all your good for. He threw a couple dollars and said this is for the other night being intimate, I cried, and started choking him. He was laughing but not once stopped me...He called his mom told her that I slapped and choked him, she told me I was the worse thing that happened to her son, and was a dirty bit^^. I told him that is not marriage running off and telling your mother or family. He has even in past told his mother he was sad with me, resulting in her calling me to be more sexually active with him and try new things...I have never felt more appauledin my life.

HIs mother told him take his belongings and leave. He was mopping around all day, he has no family here, he kept coming to me asking where his luggage was I told him. I would not stop him or nor did I tell him to leave. My brother separated us and told us to calm down. He got annoyed that my husband wanted to leave continued complaining. My husband took his luggage and packed. I was tired of the drama, assumed he was bluffing or he would drive around and come back. He took his documents as well. I fell asleep. My brother woke me up to tell me he left me and wasn't coming back, he was not a man but a punk, spoiled, brat....I immediately called him to come back it wasn't too late. He refused said this was for the best. I continued calling him and contacted his mom, she told me he was on the road truck be back in couple days don't stress. Come to find out Wednesday he was staying at another Indian families house and had told them our entire ordeal...they are not related, acquaintances. I informed my family and they immediately contacted his Dad, who stated it was my brother and my fault how could his son live in such an environment?

I tried to pay bills from our joint account to find out he had taken everything out and left 200. I used it to pay our cellphone bill. How could he assume it was over without telling me or think I'd touch that money? He refused answer my calls. Finally when he did, confessed I meant everything and I did so much for him and his family. And he would come back if I would admit in front of everyone I would move to Texas. Or take money for my education and call it quits on the marriage. It was the real deal, I did not marry him for money. I felt cornered. We were approved for the apartment let him know, he said he'd think about it. Never did. I gave him an ultimatum that if he didn't come by yesterday which was 9 days after he left I'd assume it was over, He never came or called. My family reached out through extended family, because he refuses to answer there calls as well, and were informed they would have to go to that third party strangers house to discuss our marriage. I refused, then he stated he would want me to come and be lectured by them, again I refused. Now I have come to the conclusion, it was only for a visa, or his Dad got his way. They asked for a couple days to make a decision, not him his family. I am again put on hold. I have no money, to file. I would loved to work this would and move. But he just seems to care and obey his Dad. Our lives have never been private I want him to grow up. My family has become as well as his a laughing stock around town. He won't even meet or communicate with me. All the while is running up my phone bill internationally. which I had cut off/ international. But to disconnect his line its 270 as well as 400 remaining on his cellphone. I resorted last Saturday instead of asking for family help babysitting and mowing lawns to obtain a measly 65 dollars for 8hours work. I am trying my best to work this but its all on him.

I can't even deport him? I don't think that's an option. It hurts knowing a grown man would do such a thing. I'm not perfect I do argue, over education, location, and finances. But to walk out. What can I do?

Sorry about your situation. I have been in same situation. Don't make mistake which I did. I kept hoping for change. It is not going to change. Try to document/get proof of all statements. Upon getting all proofs, call a good lawyer and inform authorities including ICE, USCIS, embassy for his intent. It is not going to much but won't be able to renew his green card, will have problem with citizenship and will have problem moving with his next relationship.

And never look back at him.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Your post you mentioned about second chance, second chance for what? to have by your side a loser,a weak man and scumbag? really? you deserve better. Divorce him and move on.

First of all I am sorry this is happening to you. It's not fair. And by the way...do not give this douche bag the time of day. Do not answer his calls, do not reply. Just divorce this bozo and move on. It sucks but so does he.

Aloha Ke Akua

[cahrie99 12]

I must agree with others. For your own good, you need to separate yourself from him in every way and move on. Submit any evidence you have that proves he committed immigration fraud and get a divorce. Try not to dwell and don't look back. Take care of yourself and find those things in life that make you happy and work toward them (i.e. furthering your education and improving your own situation). Only you know what's best for you and please don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Wishing you the best

[Nsempa 2]

I hope and pray that you listen to all the advice given you on this forum. At the end of the day the decision is yours to make. If you want out, then begin the divorce process. If you still want in, then I guess nothing you hear on this forum will change your mind so don't bother writing another lengthy post about your woes in this marriage. We've seen two threads about it already...