A sensitive topic/question.....

[bgamb 3]

ok...I got a little education on tabo from Mikey Bustos...he is hilarious

http://www.die-philippinen.com/en/toilet_hygiene.php

Edited September 27, 2013 by bgamb

[kev_n_jena 89]

I've never used TP when in the Philippines accept at hotels. I even packed a few rolls on my first trip but just ended up giving it away. I don't think the "septic system" would have handled it very well anyway. I take at least 1 full shower and a couple half showers every day when in Phils.

We both use TP in the US. I've been to Filipino couples houses that still have a tabo in the US though.

The term NAPKIN isn't always used the same in the US as it is in Phils. Try to remember to call them TABLE NAPKINS or you might get some strange looks

[William33 110]

If I may add to this topic, we have sprayers (bidet) attachments in all of our bathrooms. Until recently, I built these rigs from various parts at Home Depot. A painful installation, that gets into serious plumbing. A relatively new company, has developed a product that takes only 5 minutes to install and is available at Home Depot.

http://www.homedepot.com/p/Brondell-Hand-Held-Bidet-in-Silver-CS-30/203357947#.UkTpJ3Qo7IU

I do not have any interest in this company or Home Depot, only offering an alternative to this important issue.

[bgamb 3]

haha...whats your problem man (or woman)????

If YOU were reading correctly.... I ....am the one who asked the question about tampo and tabo

I OFFERED MY OPINION...and I was looking for others opinions....that's what this forum is about...or maybe you have not learned that yet...maybe u don't read well---oops, no disrest meant...haha

if you don't like it......that's too bad

What's the problem my friend??? Are we a teeny bit sensitive about this subject??

...."no disrespect meant"....haha...you can't read and I can't spell

[kev_n_jena 89]

since we have digressed to tampo.....I'd like to get some opinions from the foreign fiancées/husbands

And don't wimp out with your opinion just cause your woman is looking over your shoulder...haha

While my girl is not here yet...I don't have much real experience with this yet

I have read about it

Personally...it sounds extremely childish

She doesn't like something you have done....so she makes a face...pouts...and gives you the silent treatment,,,haha

Great way to handle a loving relationship....and ohhh what great communication

When we don't like something our spouse does...or they accidentally hurt our feelings.....the loving thing to do is talk...speak from the heart

It does not have to done immediately.......sometimes it is better to wait....

But.......the silent treatment (tampo) is nothing more than passive aggressive behavior

It's "payback"

Boohoo....whoa is me...you hurt me...now u will pay for it until I am good and ready

Now some Filipinas will want to rationalize this behavior by saying....."tampo is goooood....it is better than lashing out...and having an argument...it gives time to cool down"---POPPYCOCK...!

That's a true statement....but neither is the preferred choice of 2 people who love each other

Tampo is NOT about cooling down....its about making SURE he knows she's pissed

The 5 most important words in a relationship are:::

YOU ARE RIGHT, I'M SORRY

Give someone the chance to do that.......communicate-----there is no room in a loving friendship and relationship for childishness

Follow the Bible's timeless advice....

Eph. 4:26--let the sun not set with you in a provoked state.....

Most of the filipinas I know have some version of tampo. I've heard of some pretty extreme cases that last for multiple days at a time.Thankfully Jena doesn't pull that trick very often and if she does it doesn't last long.

I can tell you in our case, just because she's "tampo" doesn't mean that I am the cause of it. She may be upset about something completely unrelated to me and out of my control. It's just her way of dealing with something that's bothering her. I have to admit, it still drives me crazy when it happens but I honestly don't think she does it on purpose.

We just celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary and I think we know each other pretty well.

If your filipina spouse doesn't display a form of tampo, consider yourself luck I guess. On the other hand she may have something worse in store for you!

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

someone had a post awhile back talking about how he just installed a bidet for his fiancee who

was soon to arrive

So......do most filipinas simply adjust to the cano ways? using toilet paper?

haha...I'm serious tho....I never thought about it before

And what is that thing called when they use the pail and bucket...I know I read that it has a name.....can't recall...

(this should prove interesting....)

I put in one of these .. It was cheap and easy to install she loves it

-toilethttp://www.rinseworks.com/products-page/aquaus-bidet-stainless-steel-hose/bidet-stainless-steel-toilet

[William33 110]

I put in one of these .. It was cheap and easy to install she loves it

-toilethttp://www.rinseworks.com/products-page/aquaus-bidet-stainless-steel-hose/bidet-stainless-steel-toilet

This item is $60.00 and the installation is ambiguous. The Home Depot option mentioned above is less than $40 and does a better job.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

If I may add to this topic, we have sprayers (bidet) attachments in all of our bathrooms. Until recently, I built these rigs from various parts at Home Depot. A painful installation, that gets into serious plumbing. A relatively new company, has developed a product that takes only 5 minutes to install and is available at Home Depot.

http://www.homedepot.com/p/Brondell-Hand-Held-Bidet-in-Silver-CS-30/203357947#.UkTpJ3Qo7IU

I do not have any interest in this company or Home Depot, only offering an alternative to this important issue.

Reading your post -since your wife is Indonesian - it is big relieved for me. Thank you.

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

This item is $60.00 and the installation is ambiguous. The Home Depot option mentioned above is less than $40 and does a better job.

I agree that HD is cheaper, and I would buy it just for that fact. But how is the installation "ambiguous"? No double meaning nor the possibility of being interpreted in multiple ways... both connect to the incoming water line via a "T", and both spray cold water. Pretty cut and (not) dried IMHO.

Yeah, we can argue the hygienity of the whole tabo concept, and how "our way is better". But is it? Wiping one's butt with TP, with the occasional blow-thru of a finger, coupled with the fact that you can never quite get it all with the TP, isn't really much better than someone cleaning their parts with their hands. Germs is germs, and unless you wash your hands thoroughly afterwards, you got them on ya. And even if you don't touch yourself in the bathroom, you touch other surfaces in the CR, and someone else HAS touched their nasty parts, and those germs are now on the faucets, handles, and door knobs. Just a fact of life.

But having seen how we do it here all my life, and seeing how Pinays do it, I much prefer their style. It's definitely cleaner. Plus, there is less to mess up in the sewer system, which is a big deal if you happen to have a septic tank instead of a city sewage system.

And to whomever asked, the TP is used to dry the damp parts after cleaning, and it goes in the trash can, not the toilet.

Heated? The water isn't heated in the Phils... dang if I will heat it here!!

I agree with you, Hank, except... I was thinking more about MY comfort! I loved the heated toilet seats in Korea. Warm in the winter, and the feeling of being fresh and clean (and WARM) after a bathroom visit... priceless!!

[Loolie 56]

When i got here, i used baby wipes just like my husband but i just felt like it didnt really clean my butt well. So i stopped using baby wipes and just jumped in the shower after #2. We dont have tabo, i dont like that one either. My husband has stopped using wipes too except when we are out. He is now doing the pinoy way just like me.

[Greenbaum 12,259]

Green...what about your girl...and you?

While I have only visited with my fiancée 3 time...we talk and IM hours each day

I can safely say that we are both willing to talk about any subject no matter how sensitive (sexual etc....)

We are extremely open with each other

Leaving next week for USEM interview and this will be my second visit. We have communicated for 4 plus years now and on an average of 2 hours a day. I have a 45 min. drive to work each morning and she and I are on the phone (using magic jack.... what a invention!!) and we are never lost for topics. She even says that she likes our relationship better because of our communication, as she had very little with her X-husband (her statement not mine "I can talk about anything with you"). IMHO, it's the glue that will make our relationship last forever.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Tampo = Sulking.

I like "Urban Dictionary" definition = 1. sulking being grumpy, aloof, silent and unsociable. having a face that says "i'm pissed. and i'm not done yet coz there's just a lot to get pissed with. go away."

I SMH whenever I read (on VJ) the accusations - sulking is a Filipina exclusive trait. What a load of myopic bullshit.

& then - I call hypocrisy! - when I read posts = ridicule / degrade another for sulking.

Followed with - it's pathetic how #1 will blame #2 for the affect #2's sulking has on #1.

Processing "negative" emotion is #2's individual right. (if) #2's emotional process does not harm or hurt #1...then ####### does it matter?

IMO - Bottom line = Stop trying to control another. Focus on controlling yourself. #1's buttons are #1's buttons. It's #1's choice if #2's sulking pushes #1's buttons.

Edited September 27, 2013 by Crashed~N2~Me

[bgamb 3]

Tampo = Sulking.

I like "Urban Dictionary" definition = 1. sulking being grumpy, aloof, silent and unsociable. having a face that says "i'm pissed. and i'm not done yet coz there's just a lot to get pissed with. go away."

I SMH whenever I read (on VJ) the accusations - sulking is a Filipina exclusive trait. What a load of myopic bullshit.

& then - I call hypocrisy! - when I read posts = ridicule / degrade another for sulking.

Followed with - it's pathetic how #1 will blame #2 for the affect #2's sulking has on #1.

Processing "negative" emotion is #2's individual right. (if) #2's emotional process does not harm or hurt #1...then ####### does it matter?

IMO - Bottom line = Stop trying to control another. Focus on controlling yourself. #1's buttons are #1's buttons. It's #1's choice if #2's sulking pushes #1's buttons.

Hey my friend

I am guessing you think tampo is just fine...even tho you start off with a horrid definition/description of what it is....

You have every right to your opinion

"""""Processing "negative" emotion is #2's individual right. (if) #2's emotional process does not harm or hurt #1...then ####### does it matter?"""""

If you don't THINK that this kind of negative action is not "harming"....I don't know what to say....!

I wonder at what point would you draw the line that it is too much

This action is certainly not loving....and it is NO WAY to treat the most important person in your life

If you don't see it as childish....hey....enjoy it then.....it's a free country

One of the problems in the world is.....everyone feels THEY HAVE THE RIGHT.....to do and act in whatever way they want.....with the attitude..."DONT TELL ME WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE OR NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR"

I won't tolerate it.....I won't get angry......but what I will do....is show her what it feels like...I will do it as well...and maybe I will hold out LONGER

than her...so she gets the point

Any decent, loving, caring partner is NOT going to like how it feels......

You want to defend this kind of action....it's your right my friend......enjoy it....NOT ME

That's my last comment on the subject......(I think haha)

[Hank_ 9,174]

Hey my friend

I am guessing you think tampo is just fine...even tho you start off with a horrid definition/description of what it is....

You have every right to your opinion

"""""Processing "negative" emotion is #2's individual right. (if) #2's emotional process does not harm or hurt #1...then ####### does it matter?"""""

If you don't THINK that this kind of negative action is not "harming"....I don't know what to say....!

I wonder at what point would you draw the line that it is too much

This action is certainly not loving....and it is NO WAY to treat the most important person in your life

If you don't see it as childish....hey....enjoy it then.....it's a free country

One of the problems in the world is.....everyone feels THEY HAVE THE RIGHT.....to do and act in whatever way they want.....with the attitude..."DONT TELL ME WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE OR NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR"

I won't tolerate it.....I won't get angry......but what I will do....is show her what it feels like...I will do it as well...and maybe I will hold out LONGER

than her...so she gets the point

Any decent, loving, caring partner is NOT going to like how it feels......

You want to defend this kind of action....it's your right my friend......enjoy it....NOT ME

That's my last comment on the subject......(I think haha)

If you think you are going to "fix" tampo.... reckoning day is coming!

People do have the right to act they way they want (and accept the consequences)... it's others that don't have the right to dictate another's actions.

You have already made your "battle plan" as to how you will deal with tampo .... no one has the right to tell you different. Have fun with that -

[A and T 82]

Just buy some baby wipes, problem solved! But yeah a bidet is nice, cleaner and saves on toilette paper cost