Name change after marriage

[RobBell 32]

So since we will be getting married soon we have a small dilemma with the name change. If she takes my last name it would sound a bit weird to have a Chinese first name and a European/American last name. I'm sure she could use her English first name with my last name but then it would seem like she's loosing her entire identity.

I'm just wondering if any other American/Chinese couples could share what they decided with this issue.

Also if she keeps her Chinese name what are the problems/issues to consider?

Thanks!

[inlovesalem 17]

What is so weird about having a Chinese first and "American" last name? Now if her name was going to be David D David, or Jon J Jon, or somehting that would be weird....lol

[mdglotzbach 0]

My wife took my last name, she has a Chinese first name and a German last name now.

[JRF 117]

My wife and I had the same discussion...she is Vietnamese so I hope this helps. The custom in Vietnam is for the wife to keep her family name. She would gladly use my last name in Vietnam despite the fact it's not that easy for someone there to pronounce.

She will ultimately take my last name, but not until she gets to the US. We made this decision for practical reasons...changing her name before she obtains the visa could have an adverse impact on the process (surely it would be more difficult because we'd have to change passports, etc). We thought it best to wait until she got here before we dealt with what, for us anyways, wasn't a critical issue.

[Operator 1,927]

My wife kept her name but like a lot of Chinese she has an English nickname and she uses that in social situations and at work. For any banking or official correspondence, etc. she uses her legal name which matches her passport. I always try to guess how she will introduce herself when she meets someone. She has used a number of combinations and on more than one occasion she has used all four at once; English nickname, Chinese given name, Chinese family name followed by my family name. I think her business card is her English nickname and Chinese family name. If she went by her English nick name and my family name it would be a very boring name and like your soon to be wife she didn't want to lose her identity.

Chinese women (in China) as you know, wouldn't take the husband's family name so it wasn't difficult decision for her and I don't have a preference as long as she's happy.

The only problem I see with using her Chinese given name is that she will have to listen to people butcher the pronunciation.

Edited September 26, 2013 by Operator

[Ciyin 1]

I've had this same discussion with my fiancee. She goes by an English nickname, and I'm afraid that taking my family name would be completely disconnection from her Chinese identity. But ultimately it's her decision, and I'll call her whatever she would like to be called. Have you considered hyphenating? That's a reasonable compromise (and in our case, I like how our names sound when hyphenated)

[Darnell 8,478]

My wife uses her family name, and not mine.

Makes ID very easy - just think about changing her hukuo book, china id card, china passport, etc - what a PITA !

----

Sure, at some social occasions - she gets introduced as Mrs. Darnell - but that's just for the gweilos....

Dead easy to not change the name, and use her family name, instead of yours, on all legal docs in the USA.

[Shenzhen 34]

We kept her Chinese name too. Too much trouble to change it for passport, 10 year green card national id all that stuff.

[RobBell 32]

Thanks to everyone!

I think that she will keep her name legally, as Darnell mentioned it will save a lot of frustration with the legal documents. That doesn't stop us from introducing ourselves how we would like. Really there's very few incidences in every day life where the legal name is required.

[bigdog 376]

My wife uses her first name, her last as a middle, and my last. It was her choice. NO issues across the board, as well as international travel.

[LBeachey 44]

My wife's Chinese name remains her legal name. She has an English first name she uses almost exclusively in the US as her first name is difficult for English speakers who have not been exposed to Chinese pronunciation. She will use her last name, my last name or them combined depending on the situation.