Divorce from foreign spouse, so tired of reading these sad stories

[josephmross 0]

Hello Everyone!

First, I'd like to say this site is an amazing place. It was so incredibly helpful to me when I was trying to get my foreign fiance over to the states, and I really could not have done it without the help from perfect strangers on this site.

Unfortuntely things go south, as has my relationship with my wife. I am a USC, she had PR status but we moved to her country before Adjustment, so the status is likely void. She cheated, left me for a friend, and I moved back to the States.

We've been split for two years, I am in the US, she is in her home country with no intention of trying to retain or regain any sort of immigration status. I'm assuming the divorce process should be quite simple, but I've put it off for so long because, after a year or so of trying to rectify the marriage, I just would rather not think about her, or it. But now's the time.

I've read a lot on this sub-forum, but MY GOD it is so sad and I just can't do it anymore. Any chance someone could help me out once again and let me know what to do about this? Can I just file papers in my county and it's done, or does she have to come here? I'd really rather not see her again.

I cannot afford a lawyer, and even the divorce fee in my county is troublesome (Wisconsin).

What to do, what to do?

Thank you all again so much! There is good in this world, and I found it on this site many years ago.

[UK-USA-K1 128]

Laws vary from state to state, so what happened for me is going to obviously going to have to be confirmed by you for you state. My previous wife, moved out of state when we separated and I filed all the divorce paperwork here. I filled out everything, mailed her the originals and had her mail back with her signatures, then filed. We had to add a document that stated that she would not be available to go to court and that she requested to be there via phone. There was a second waiver we could have filed that would have allowed her to also not even be there by phone and waive her right to be represented at all, but she didn't want to do that. It went through without issue, except she was VERY slow at getting the paperwork back to me.

Also, most states will allow you to file alone if you are unable to contact your spouse. There are rules on this as to what lengths you must go to attempt to get a response to your request for a divorce and each state is going to have it's own guidelines. I'd recommend going to your states court website or local courthouse and get the forms and any information they may have and read through them. They are usually fairly simple.

Sorry to hear you have to go through this. My last wife also cheated with a friend of hers, and it hurt, but I"m so glad to be past that and my current fiance makes me so much happier than I've ever been, so it all can work out for the best in time.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

What you need to do depends entirely on your state.

There is a method of filing in some states where you can do so by notice (putting a notice in the paper at her last known address).

You may be able to file some documents, mail them to her to sign, and have her mail them back (which honestly would be simplest and cheapest).

Personally I would go to your local courthouse and ask. There are some legal aid agencies that might be able to help as well.

[CaizLurol 36]

I went through a divorce and I have several friends who have, too. You can do it without your spouse's signature. There are places that do divorces for cheap. You might want to look into that or into some kind of charity organization. Or, you can google DIY divorce. I recommend going the "cheap divorces" route.

I would not wish divorce on anyone... I am sorry that you're going through this and I feel your pain. I can promise you that you'll come out bigger, better, and stronger than ever once this is over and through.

Here is a link for a place in Wisconsin: https://www.mydivorcepapers.com/ppc-noautoplay.php

[CaizLurol 36]

I want to add that a quick Google search shows that in Wisconsin, you can do it on grounds that she abandoned the marriage or a no-fault divorce.

[Shiobhan 235]

Go down to your local court fill out papers and file for

divorce, pay fees, there R ppl there that will help with forms

theres no property or kids to argue over, U would post

the pending divorce in the newspaper of her last known

address to u....no response, no contest... whalla... u get your divorce

In Texas that's a 6-8 wks procedure, just gotta prove by

license U R Tx resident

[CaizLurol 36]

Post in the newspaper? Why on earth would he do that? Isn't divorce a private matter

Edited September 27, 2013 by CaizLurol

[southernman 29]

Post in the newspaper? Why on earth would he do that? Isn't divorce a private matter

In most states it's a public record. If you can't locate a spouse the court will order an ad placed in the newspaper of the last known address of the unlocated spouse. If the ad runs and there is no response from the spouse then the court assumes that he/she does not care and will precede with the divorce process without them.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Post in the newspaper? Why on earth would he do that? Isn't divorce a private matter

If he can't find her then it is often the only way to get divorced.

If he knew where she was and could have her served then there's no need to put it in the paper.

[CaizLurol 36]

In most states it's a public record. If you can't locate a spouse the court will order an ad placed in the newspaper of the last known address of the unlocated spouse. If the ad runs and there is no response from the spouse then the court assumes that he/she does not care and will precede with the divorce process without them.

If he can't find her then it is often the only way to get divorced.If he knew where she was and could have her served then there's no need to put it in the paper.

Wow I had no idea.... This is something I would imagine was done in the past, maybe in the mid 1800s. I had no idea. I guess you learn something new every day.

[Hypnos 6,578]

The alternative is to stay married forever, in the situation of not being able to find / serve your spouse, so there has to be some kind of fallback mechanism.

[USAmale 1]

I am in a similar situation as this gentlemen and I am trying to figure out my next step. My wife was here on a K1 visa, we married, and things were really not working out at all between her and her teenage daughter, who was living with us. IN fact, they had violent fights. The other issue is that my wife talked almost non-stop about money, me giving her money to send back to her mother in her home country, etc. She essentially lied to me constantly about money, debts, etc. Her Fiance Visa expired and she would not let me adjust her status,, she went back to her home country.

Fast forward,, I spent the past year trying to resolve issues with her to have her return here.. I did visit her several times in her home country, but we only lived together as husband and wife for 5-6 months. Now she says that she will never return here, doesn't love me, etc.

I believe that the marriage was fraudulent and was only about obtaining a green card and getting money from me constantly, How can we advertise the divorce proceeding if she is not in this country, and I don't even know the address where she is living in her home country?

essentially she abandoned the marriage 1 1/2 years ago and left the country. Can I divorce her in absentia? I am in Pennslyvania

thanks..

[Jawaree 718]

File and send to her last known US & foreign addresses

law clerks at the law library help ppl doing it themselves

then u put in local paper where she lived.

[Imua 0]

I am going through something similar and have 2 points to make.

1. If your spouse left and you have no way to contact them you can do what is called 'Divorce By Publication' as others have mentioned upthread. If you really think your spouse will not be found(and in that case you are lucky because you can get a clean simple divorce without them asking for support or division of assets) then google for a paralegal service which will handle the investigation and paperwork for you. In NY it will cost around $1K proven your spouse is not located during the investigation.

2. If your spouse has left the country permanently then again you are lucky because it gets you off the hook re the I-864 which you signed when you brought them over. In my case I am fearful that he may have been found in my neighborhood and though he is too stupid to know that he could sue me for alimony under the I-864 his friends may know otherwise and help him find a sleazy lawyer in 'the community' who will help him for low cost. He abandoned me 1 year ago and lied to me about starting a new job when in fact I knew through phone records he was still working at his old under the table job until at least the end of February when he changed his phone #. If he is still working under the table then on paper he is unemployed and I am cynical that a judge would stop to ask how he has been supporting himself for the past year when it was his choice to abandon me while 'jobless'. In my googling it seems that these cases always end up with the USC being screwed regardless of circumstances. I have seen cases where the foreign ex-spouse has even sought support under the I-864 after the divorce decree has been issued - it is mind-boggling.

[Darnell 8,479]

echoing myself in other posts - for those of you seeking to file yerself,

get to the law library at the county library and ask the librarian there for the templates. Sometimes this is free, sometimes there is a fee, a nominal fee.