K1 Fiancee arrived ill what about extensions?

[Dane and Liuda 0]

If they chose to sleep in seperate beds that's their perogative and doesn't say anything about the validity of their relationship, it just says something about their values/morals/belief system. Perhaps they'd be living in seperate apartments if things were different, but this visa process and finances usually don't leave too much room to make that possible.

Anyway. Dane, there's no way out of marrying her in the 90 day time period unless you want her to go out of status or to go home. See if you can arrange for someone who can marry you two coming to the home, or see if you can set up a quick courthouse marriage - she can even sit down the whole time. Make it romantic and carry her to and from the car - ok I'm kidding on this one, trying to make you laugh a little. Worry about the big, elegant, romantic ceremony later... for now just do what you need to do to keep her here. If you do still want her to be your wife, that is. If you don't, then that's a whole different ballpark all together.

Sorry to all for not responding before now:

As it stands my fiancee is still sick and is still under medical care and sleeping a lot, she has a formal letter written by the Doctor that has been seeing her saying she is too sick to fly now. I really imagine the letter means little if anything to the USCIS, and as for her until feeling better I doubt the situtation will become more clear.

Someone asked about her son he and I get along great and he enjoys it here, the biggest problem for him might be if they return too soon before Spring. Since apparently he would not be allowed to begin school again if back there until Sept. As for her if she returns she has no job now. place to live right away etc. This is another reason we think she is not even able to think cleary right now. Also sleeping in seperate beds/rooms as my idea, partly because of my beliefs, parlty due to the 11 month wait to get here, and of course a large one was because of what example that would show to her 15 yr old son.

Also another clarification: She was mildly ill when arrived sleeping a lot, she did not sleep for 36 hours and said the Paris airport was freezing (no idea why) and her coat was packed since then it was 80 in Texas. As late as mid Nov we were deciding on a date then she visited a older lady also from the Ukraine (but here for a long time) for 3 days, the lady chain smoked wich did not help her lungs plus the old lady got drunk a few days later and was yelling. So shortly after midnight she left without calling anyone on a cool night and was out for a few hours until the police saw her walking.

Since then she has gone from weak but not sure what she had to being so ill she has fluid in her longs then and still now.

The medical insurance issue is a big problem, she and her son would be covered by mine as oon as married.

Angilla likely did not mean this exactly so I am posting only to see if anyone knows anymore about what would happen IF we did have a quick in house marriage by the 90 day deadline to keep her from going out of status at least.

There are many steps which follow even if we did so including a change of status, and these steps eventually require showing that the marriage is a real marriage. What would be the legal issues to myself (Dane) if we did this?

I know one possible result is fine in that if when we then later had a formal ceremony and did the change of status etc. In fact in that case to the USCIS it would be no difference at all.

What would happen if we in January Feb March or whenever she still for whatever reason (or my reasons also I suppose) decide to return her to the Ukraine and we had our marriage anul the marriage?

[jamrok 0]

If they chose to sleep in seperate beds that's their perogative and doesn't say anything about the validity of their relationship, it just says something about their values/morals/belief system. Perhaps they'd be living in seperate apartments if things were different, but this visa process and finances usually don't leave too much room to make that possible.

Anyway. Dane, there's no way out of marrying her in the 90 day time period unless you want her to go out of status or to go home. See if you can arrange for someone who can marry you two coming to the home, or see if you can set up a quick courthouse marriage - she can even sit down the whole time. Make it romantic and carry her to and from the car - ok I'm kidding on this one, trying to make you laugh a little. Worry about the big, elegant, romantic ceremony later... for now just do what you need to do to keep her here. If you do still want her to be your wife, that is. If you don't, then that's a whole different ballpark all together.

Sorry to all for not responding before now:

As it stands my fiancee is still sick and is still under medical care and sleeping a lot, she has a formal letter written by the Doctor that has been seeing her saying she is too sick to fly now. I really imagine the letter means little if anything to the USCIS, and as for her until feeling better I doubt the situtation will become more clear.

Someone asked about her son he and I get along great and he enjoys it here, the biggest problem for him might be if they return too soon before Spring. Since apparently he would not be allowed to begin school again if back there until Sept. As for her if she returns she has no job now. place to live right away etc. This is another reason we think she is not even able to think cleary right now. Also sleeping in seperate beds/rooms as my idea, partly because of my beliefs, parlty due to the 11 month wait to get here, and of course a large one was because of what example that would show to her 15 yr old son.

Also another clarification: She was mildly ill when arrived sleeping a lot, she did not sleep for 36 hours and said the Paris airport was freezing (no idea why) and her coat was packed since then it was 80 in Texas. As late as mid Nov we were deciding on a date then she visited a older lady also from the Ukraine (but here for a long time) for 3 days, the lady chain smoked wich did not help her lungs plus the old lady got drunk a few days later and was yelling. So shortly after midnight she left without calling anyone on a cool night and was out for a few hours until the police saw her walking.

Since then she has gone from weak but not sure what she had to being so ill she has fluid in her longs then and still now.

The medical insurance issue is a big problem, she and her son would be covered by mine as oon as married.

Angilla likely did not mean this exactly so I am posting only to see if anyone knows anymore about what would happen IF we did have a quick in house marriage by the 90 day deadline to keep her from going out of status at least.

There are many steps which follow even if we did so including a change of status, and these steps eventually require showing that the marriage is a real marriage. What would be the legal issues to myself (Dane) if we did this?

I know one possible result is fine in that if when we then later had a formal ceremony and did the change of status etc. In fact in that case to the USCIS it would be no difference at all.

What would happen if we in January Feb March or whenever she still for whatever reason (or my reasons also I suppose) decide to return her to the Ukraine and we had our marriage anul the marriage?

You know what really BURNS me??? Many people on this forum would lose a right arm to be

with their loved one right now and you waste time by asking these questions where in fact

you have the answers right under your nose. I am not inclined to be politically correct hence

the following comment; inspite of your poor attempt to serve up some illogical explanation the fact remain that your situation sounds VERY 'fishy" and you know it. I understand illness, i understand morals etc but i sense everything else other than a mutual and sincere intent to marry for the reasons marriage was intended. that's my two cents. Let the flaming begin.

[Ken_Maria 0]

You know what really BURNS me??? Many people on this forum would lose a right arm to be with their loved one right now and you waste time by asking these questions where in fact you have the answers right under your nose. I am not inclined to be politically correct hence the following comment; inspite of your poor attempt to serve up some illogical explanation the fact remain that your situation sounds VERY 'fishy" and you know it. I understand illness, i understand morals etc but i sense everything else other than a mutual and sincere intent to marry for the reasons marriage was intended. that's my two cents. Let the flaming begin.

Not the way I would have said it but the end result is the same. Who is this doctor and is he licensed to practice in the U.S. Why is she not seeing a doctor you usually go to?

Dane, Do not ignore the signs and do not make excuse for her. if it does not feel right, it probably is not, and you already know the answer. Payato

[RosaMystica7 0]

Dane, I'm a little confused - do you, or don't you, want to marry her? You're talking about her and her son going back, and annuling the marriage later on if you get one now... so I'm guessing you don't want to marry her anymore? But she's too sick to fly and she'd have no place to live, so you want to delay sending her back past the 90 days? Am I understanding that right or am I way off?

Edited December 17, 2006 by Angilla

[Ashleigh-Au 0]

This also sounds very strange to me!

Ill or not.....barring a coma.....if you two wanted to get married you would get married.

[ready4ONE 5,400]

Only the two of you can decide if you want to be married. But if you do, seems to me the best thing for your situation is to get yourself to the local courthouse or county/state office, and get a marriage license. Get married in the simplist possible civil ceremony, so as not to tire her out.

You can get married with a larger, full wedding ceremony at any point in the future, but since your deadline is coming up rapidly, you don't have a lot more time to do much more than I suggest.

Or abandone the whole thing entirely, which it does not sound like you wish to do. Could you even get her out of the country and on her way home, with her son by Christmas? Probably not. And if so, at a huge expense due to the last minute nature of purchasing the airline tickets. (A quick wedding and quicky divorce could be more economical!)

Good luck to you to. I think you have tomorrow to decide and make a plan together. Monday morning to get a marriage license or plane tickets. Hope it is getting a marriage license.

[Dane and Liuda 0]

Whomever mentioned it don't worry I am not a Liberal so we all are Americans first and foremost so I hate the whole political correctness #######! I'd much rather you speak your mind than worry about if it offends anyone! The Doctor treating her is a real USA Texas Doctor just older than most (semi retired) and who lives next door to a close friend. She agreed to treat her for free, although I have since my first post talked to my own Doctor about her lack of recovery so far and if she does not improve very soon I will take her to the Doctor I know better.

Of course I love Liuda and she loves me also, in fact we likely fell in love the day we first were introduced to each other in her home city of Kharkov on Sept 19 last Fall although we went out 14 more times, several times with her son along. We got engaged in October last Fall right before I returned home so I know how hard the Holidays are when your fiancee is still not with you. I just am asking about legal options in case the Roth lawyer in Atlanta (That office serves Texas for the Roth Immigration offices) is not around next week due to the Holidays.

We spent 11 very long painful months only able to write letters, a few attempted calls (land lines to Kharkov are horrible) and finally ended up text messaging a lot after we found those went through better than calls. She is not the same right now as she was in Kharkov, for the 11 months we waited, and for the first few weeks here when she was already tired and often dizzy but was well enough to seem herself. But for many weeks now she has not or can not be herself, and maybe she should be in the Hospital even if not at least a new Doctor treating her.

For weeks now she has felt very weak and dizzy while she is normally a very stronge woman even if small. Since sick she wants to see her Mom and is confused about why she still feels so bad, and seems to associtate being sick with coming to America. Yes I want to marry her and yet a week from Monday on Christmas Day comes our 90 day deadline. I am just looking at all ways to work around her sickness, confusion and the deadline without messing up anything with the USCIS. I wish she was feeling herself or would by Christmas, so while she rests I look for advice.

Sorry I only came here with the bad part to ask questions, until she got sick we felt the same way all of you do ou should! I am sorry about not before bringing a happier outlook to your situations, please do not think our problems now mean we are not incredibly grateful we met regardless how thing may seem right now.

I wish you all the best and that all works out for those already together and those still waiting.

Have a Merry Christmas, Dane and Liuda

[Ashleigh-Au 0]

but....you are running out of time....if you want to get married to her.and her to you.....just do it!

USCIS will not forgive not marrying within the 90 day time frame. End of story!

[Jn&Ella 0]

As many of the post above has mentioned, many things are not right.

1. walking pneumonia for 3 wks while on antibiotics? Anything is possible in medicine but it is not likely. When I see this in my practice, I start thinking about malingering.

2. staying with friends to be close to doctor? Unless you are liviing deep into the forest somewhere, this does not make sense. Are there x-rays or blood tests done to confirm that diagnosis?

3. if after 3 wks she is still too weak to do anything, it is a more serious illness than "walking pneumnia".

4. the "friend doctor" say that she can not even date let alone get married? If that is the case, she needs to be in hospital.

Essentially, there is some BS going on here. From a legitimate physicans point of view, this 1 + 1 is not addiing up to 2 but 5.

[RosaMystica7 0]

Dane,

Okay, it's all starting to make more sense now - in my mind, anyway.

I think the safest idea would be for you two to get married before her time runs up... you still love her, and there's a darn good chance that the only reason she's not "being herself" is because she's been so sick. Get her to a different doctor ASAP, the poor lady needs to get better. Yes you could always get divorced later - but at least it's not like you're getting married for the sake of marriage fraud. You're getting married because you still love her and she's most likely not being herself because of her sickness. Help her get better.

By the way, I was sick for 7 months. October - December, was better but exhausted in January, and sick again from February - May. Not fun. Yes I acted like a completely different person at times - most of which I don't remember but, unfortunately, my fiance does. He stuck through it with me and helped me get better... I'll never forget all that he did to help me out of that terrible time.

Edited December 17, 2006 by Angilla

[Canuck Carrie 1]

If she wants to go home, let her. If it was meant to be you can start all over again.

FYI for a few extra $ a Justice of the Peace will go almost anywhere to perform the ceremony.

Edited December 17, 2006 by Canuck Carrie

[Ken_Maria 0]

I am not a Liberal so we all are Americans first and foremost so I hate the whole political correctness #######! I'd much rather you speak your mind than worry about if it offends anyone!

So far i thought I had been very clear. JN&Ella hit the nail on the head. You want it straight, here it is. She or someone with her is lying to you and you are believing their BS. She has not had walking pnemonia for 90 days or it would have killed her by now.

The Doctor treating her is a real USA Texas Doctor just older than most (semi retired) and who lives next door to a close friend. She agreed to treat her for free,

First there is no Semi retired in the medical field. They are either licensed to practice or not. No one treats people legally for free and if the doctor is retired, who is writing the prescriptions? Have you seen the medications she is supposedly taking for a month now?

Of course I love Liuda and she loves me also, in fact we likely fell in love the day we first were introduced to each other in her home city of Kharkov on Sept 19 last Fall although we went out 14 more times, several times with her son along.

I do believe you think you Love her, but if she loved you as much as you think, this would not be an issue and you would not be here pouring your soul out to everyone.

She is not the same right now as she was in Kharkov, for the 11 months we waited, and for the first few weeks here when she was already tired and often dizzy but was well enough to seem herself. But for many weeks now she has not or can not be herself, and maybe she should be in the Hospital even if not at least a new Doctor treating her.

I would say it is about 2 months past the time she should have seen a real doctor with you present. If she has been this sick for 3 months, there are two possibilities... 1) she has some thing a lot worse than pnemonia... 2) This is all a farse and you are buying into it

For weeks now she has felt very weak and dizzy while she is normally a very stronge woman even if small.

You have admitted you only met her in person in Sept 05 for 14 or more dates... how much do you really know her? 14 dates is not enought time to judge if someone is being themselves.

Since sick she wants to see her Mom and is confused about why she still feels so bad, and seems to associtate being sick with coming to America. Yes I want to marry her and yet a week from Monday on Christmas Day comes our 90 day deadline. I am just looking at all ways to work around her sickness, confusion and the deadline without messing up anything with the USCIS. I wish she was feeling herself or would by Christmas, so while she rests I look for advice.

This entire paragraph is about how you are trying to make it work. There is nothing here about her making one attempt to make anything work.

until she got sick we felt the same way all of you do ou should!

Didn't she get sick the minute she got off the plane here in the states? Your only experience with her in person is the 14 dates. Again, I think you are in love with her or at least you think you are, but you do not know her well enough and something is bad wrong wheter it is medical or personal.

Now is this to the point enough for you? You sound like one of my friends that ask for advise but never heeds any of it. Get her to a real doctor and run some real test and get her away form the "Free" doctor now!

[Jn&Ella 0]

Also another clarification: She was mildly ill when arrived sleeping a lot, she did not sleep for 36 hours and said the Paris airport was freezing (no idea why) and her coat was packed since then it was 80 in Texas. As late as mid Nov we were deciding on a date then she visited a older lady also from the Ukraine (but here for a long time) for 3 days, the lady chain smoked wich did not help her lungs plus the old lady got drunk a few days later and was yelling. So shortly after midnight she left without calling anyone on a cool night and was out for a few hours until the police saw her walking.

Since then she has gone from weak but not sure what she had to being so ill she has fluid in her longs then and still now.

The medical insurance issue is a big problem, she and her son would be covered by mine as oon as married.

_____________________________________

Dane:

This is a follow up to my earlier post, I did not see this earlier.

It is very hard to comment on other peoples relationships because there are so many variables. Until one lives in their shoes, one does not know exactly the true nature of things. Your additional information does not erase questions I posed earlier but adds more to it.

1. As of today, 12/17/06, you have exactly 1 wk to go till Christmas. Your post say that the K1 90 day is up. This will also imply that your fiancee has been sick for the past 83 days. Granted her illness is legitimate, I will not call this "walking pneumonia". Fluid in the lungs can happen due to pneumonia but it improves with time. 87 days is plenty. 87 days going and she is getting sicker, does not make sense. The heart and lung is connected in a circuit, when one goes wrong, the other one MAY go wrong. Could this be more of a heart issue?

2. Are you telling me that the retired doctor has been treating her this long and still guessing what it is? You can't be that broke to get better care for your fiancee.

3. Immigration laws are not made to be broken. If there are loopholes, the loopholes are already written in, what qualifies as exceptions are clear. You are paying a lawyer who at this time appear to be giving you the correct advise. You do not need to pay anybody to tell you that 90 days written in K-1 does not mean 91 days. Unless you know President Bush, I doubt anybody can twist this around. You can get 10 doctors to write letters for you, that is nothing in front of the Immigration law. Are you willing to spend the money to go in front of the Immigration Judge? I for one will not bet my medical license for that letter.

4. WE tend to find excuses for red flags that comes into our life especially when it involves emotional content. These excuses you are making in your mind may temporarily make you feel better now but will screw up your life later. I know, I lived it.

Good luck. My father used to tell me: "you can ask 10 people their opinion about one question and you will be provided 10 different answers. However, you are the only one who knows the answer". I'm sure you know the answer Dane. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Sometimes it hurts but often it is better to do it now than later.

[broma25 2]

If I were you I would take her to your doctor and ask for CAT scan etc to be done. My husband (USC) back in May had what the doctor thought was pneumonia. It turned out that it did not respond to treatment and further tests were done and lots of scans.

Anyway after taking antibiotics, having a bronchoscopy he was sent to a surgeon who had to do a lobectomy (third of his lung had to be removed). Fortunately what was removed was not cancer but old infections that were not responding to anitbiotics. He is still recovering 4 months later. I am thankful that we had medical insurance.

I would get married and get her covered under your insurance to ensure that even if things dont work between you two that you dont get landed with lots of medical expenses.

Good Luck in your decision.

[Barry2005 0]

I doubt you can anul your marriage.