K1 Fiancee arrived ill what about extensions?

[Dane and Liuda 0]

I have not been able to sleep and I am again out of bed and searching for information about a unique situation.

For background I went to the Ukraine in 2002 and returned in 2005, last Fall I met Liuda and we really fell in love almost instantly, but we are both extremely slow and cautious people who have both been hurt before so want always to be really more sure than is even possible! We dated 15 times in her home city of Kharkov only because I stayed an extra 2 weeks, and even then we got engaged the last day. Actually I asked her the night before leaving and she answered yes when she came to go along to the airport to see me off. We went through 11 months of agony missing each other horribly even after I got an immigration lawyer to help go through the complex process for a fiancee visa. That is called a K1 and her 15 yr old son is here also on what is called a K2 visa.

Like any couple first living together we had a few bumps since we were living together but not same bedroom immediately, plus she was always tired and felt lousy most days while over there she had worked 70 hrs while we dated. We now know most of the problem since she arrived and even now were because she arrived with walking pneumonia, she has been on antibiotics for 3 weeks now but is not that much better. She is of course scared and homesick like anyone is when in a new Country and thpse feelings are increased many fold by her being ill and feeling so bad. They only give you 90 days and ours is up Christmas Day, but according to the Dr she could not medically even travel back now if she wanted to return and she has been and is too sick to date normally and think about the wedding let alone get married.

The lawyer keeps saying to protect myself you must marry by the 90 days or it will be a real mess, but we have no choice now with her illness anyway we would decide. Unless we marry on Christmas and then end it later maybe if we decide? But the lawyer even wanted me to "cut her loose" when she went to a friends to be near a doctor friend treating her for free, the lawyer is worried about tricks that could land me in trouble, but that stuff happens mostly in big cities and is not really our situation. We are both just going nuts about the deadline and she is pretty weak still

[sophyie 0]

We are both just going nuts about the deadline and she is pretty weak still

I don't quite understand why you two can't just get married in a small ceremony (even in your own home if your wife can't leave) now- and have a nice big wedding later when she's feeling better?

That at least would take the deadline- stress away...

[YuAndDan 153]

There is no way to extend the visa beyond the 90 days, you either marry or she becomes out of status.

If she becomes out of status, and you marry her when out of status, you will then have to file and I-130 at the same time as the I-485, and the process will take a bit longer and cost more $$.

See: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...page=i130guide2

Edited December 10, 2006 by YuAndDan

[Boiler 44,985]

I would go with the lawyer.

A K1 is not for dating.

Unfortunately you will find many similar cases posted on here.

[amwo 0]

The lawyer keeps saying to protect myself you must marry by the 90 days or it will be a real mess, but we have no choice now with her illness anyway we would decide. Unless we marry on Christmas and then end it later maybe if we decide? But the lawyer even wanted me to "cut her loose" when she went to a friends to be near a doctor friend treating her for free, the lawyer is worried about tricks that could land me in trouble, but that stuff happens mostly in big cities and is not really our situation. We are both just going nuts about the deadline and she is pretty weak still

Unfortunately your lawyer might be right - protect yourself. There very well could be "tricks". And that stuff can happen anywhere, not just in big cities like you believe. I would suggest not marrying now and when she is well enough to travel, send her home to finish getting over her illness and if you are still in a long distance relationship, see how it goes. I get the impression you are not getting along well - that is not a good place to be in when gettting married.

I am sorry to hear of your situation. I hope everything works out for the best.

[Girona40 0]

The phrase "walking pneumonia" refers to a group of pneumonias that, even if untreated, would not confine someone to a hospital, or even to a bed. They can, however, make someone feel miserable with a severe cough, fever, chills, headache, and abdominal pain. Dr. Green's Website

I don't see how this would stop someone getting to a Courthouse is you were head-over-heels in love with someone. The ceremony only takes 15 minutes and I know that I could have been dying and I would have made it to marry my husband.

It sounds to me that you two are just not ready for marriage. Your "courtship" was rushed, IMO, and unless she is a very religious person, then I don't see why you are not sharing a bedroom if your intention is to marry within the requried 90 days.

You also have the boy to think of. If his mother isn't happy, for whatever reason, and she is missing home, she will be passing that feeling on to her son. It is not fair on him to drag him through this - it just doesn't sound like a particularly happy scenario, from what you have said.

I wouldn't marry any time soon - I just don't think either of you are ready. I would send her home, when she is well enough to travel, and if you two are really meant to be things will work out fine.

Good luck!

[TracyTN 237]

No extensions. Get her to the courthouse and get married. I'll bet if you arrange it with them in advance, it won't take more than 15 minutes, and surely she can muster up enough strength to do that. Its a better alternative than not meeting the 90 day requirement and possibly having her sent home.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Her system being strained she wont respond until she is more content and happy. I would think some quick ceremony could take place even if in the house, dont belive this was a time for LETS SEE HOW IT GOES either you do or you dont. Once i also had this and was still working, takes a while but not usually a forever thing.

[Ken_Maria 0]

Like any couple first living together we had a few bumps since we were living together but not same bedroom immediately, plus she was always tired and felt lousy most days while over there she had worked 70 hrs while we dated.

I do not get this one. If your are so in love and asked her to marry you then waited 11 months for the K1 process for her to get there, why the separate bedrooms and what does her working 70 hours a week before she got there have to do with anything?

We now know most of the problem since she arrived and even now were because she arrived with walking pneumonia, she has been on antibiotics for 3 weeks now but is not that much better.

You mention later that she went to a friends to see a doctor for free? Are you sure she is sick? Or is this possibly a scam... this and the separate beds are two red flags to me! You also stated "MOST" indicationg there are more issues???

They only give you 90 days and ours is up Christmas Day, but according to the Dr she could not medically even travel back now if she wanted to return and she has been and is too sick to date normally and think about the wedding let alone get married.

Everyone here gets the same 90 days and the K1 is in good fait approved because of your intention to marry, not date and wait and see 90 day trial period. Again, what doctor? I have had walking pneumonia and while I was tired, I was not bed-ridden and it did not keep me out of work more than the first 72 hours of taking meds.

But the lawyer even wanted me to "cut her loose" when she went to a friends to be near a "doctor friend" treating her for free, the lawyer is worried about tricks that could land me in trouble, but that stuff happens mostly in big cities and is not really our situation. We are both just going nuts about the deadline and she is pretty weak still

Who is this "doctor friend" have you met him/her? What doctor treats people for free in the U.S.? I agree with your lawyer, this is the 3rd Red Flag in this post that you have let us know about. 1) Separate bed after 11 months of waiting 2) A friends doctor for free treatment 3) Too weak to marry someone you are in love with....

If she was really going nuts, she would make this happen. I have made 5 trips to see my fiancee this year alone... I scraped every dollar and scammed every day off I can get to get there.... she is not putting enough effort and not displaying good faith in the relationship you think is going so well. I think you already know the answer and that is the reason you posted this here. JMHO Payato

Edited December 10, 2006 by Ken_Maria

[Ladylethal 12]

It seems to be that the biggest issue here is that you are having second thoughts on marrying her, as yourlself stated that "should we marry now and end it later if it goes that way?". If you two are sure about what you two want I'd think her being sick wouldn't prevent you two getting married but if there are other issues present, you need to work on that and decide on what's best.

[motu 5]

Do not get married if you are not ready for it. Marriage is more important than a visa or being in compliance with the rules. K1 is not for dating but assumes you are reay for marriage but if you are not, then let her go back and refile if and when you are both ready or look for another person. Whatever you do, do not get married if you are not ready - that will be worse than trying to refile for K1 or K3 etc. later on

I had walking Pneumonia once - It is extremely weakening and I do not agree with Girona's definitions - when I had it, I could not even hold a glass of water in my hand (dropped it on the sink trying to lift it - don't ask me how I drank the water and swallowed my pills) - only after 2 and a half days was I able to walk and function. But no matter what - Do not get married if you are not ready, most people seeem to be stuck on the visa angle and not the 'life' angle. Good Luck

[Moonie 0]

YOur situation sounds fishy. I would just send her home. As the others have said K-1 visa is not for dating it is to get married. Don't marry her if you are not sure. It sounds like she doesn't want it very much either. Sometimes the truth is right infront of our faces.

[RosaMystica7 0]

If they chose to sleep in seperate beds that's their perogative and doesn't say anything about the validity of their relationship, it just says something about their values/morals/belief system. Perhaps they'd be living in seperate apartments if things were different, but this visa process and finances usually don't leave too much room to make that possible.

Anyway. Dane, there's no way out of marrying her in the 90 day time period unless you want her to go out of status or to go home. See if you can arrange for someone who can marry you two coming to the home, or see if you can set up a quick courthouse marriage - she can even sit down the whole time. Make it romantic and carry her to and from the car - ok I'm kidding on this one, trying to make you laugh a little. Worry about the big, elegant, romantic ceremony later... for now just do what you need to do to keep her here. If you do still want her to be your wife, that is. If you don't, then that's a whole different ballpark all together.

[Randy 0]

WOW! Many responses for you Dane. NONE of them are really encouraging you to "stay the course". All I can add is . I agree with everyone of them. Too many red flags here. I think I would be running scared if I were you.

When I think of my beloved coming here, I think of days and nights full of passion and happiness that we are together at last. I think nothing short of a coma could stop the feelings of joy we will share. I do NOT think of seperate bedrooms and her going to stay with a "friend" (for ANY reason). If this happned to me, I would let my logic over ride my emotion, and get her on the next plane home before she was out-of-status and creating the chance she could not stay here. Then decide if there was anything to salvage.

Best of luck to you!!!

Randy

[mychelle 1]

my fiance was sick too when he got here. it started with a cold then a neverending cough. he was on antibiotics for about 1 week and then another 2 weeks when the first set of antibiotics did not do its job. we were suppose to get married about 3 weeks when he got here but we decided to wait until he's off his meds and feeling better. your fiancee's reasons to wait to get married before she gets better is valid...although the sleeping in separate beds (unless she has a highly communicable disease) and her staying away and living with a friend to be close to a doctor that gives free medical assistance (how lucky she is to have that. my fiance did not have insurance so everything was paid up front in cash. =( )...is somewhat suspect. even you yourself has some doubts about it. think this over many, many times. good luck!