in-laws on the verge of a possible divorce

[ezzy 3]

My husband and I just got back from a second honeymoon.

A few days ago, my in-laws just got into a really big fight; one took an indefinite medical leave to keep her sanity (her job is so stressful). It should have been a good thing - it should have allowed her to recover and all. However, her husband felt betrayed by this action and their fight showed a side of him that no one knew existed. My mother-in-law said, after that day, he refused to talk to her about the issue, became aloof or something like that.

We had our first dinner together since we got back. They seemed civil and my father-in-law seems to be doing an exceptional job at hiding any tension, my mother-in-law not so good. Wounds were still fresh. We were still hopeful that they would get through this but my mother-in-law told me this morning that she is convinced things are not going to work out and that there is a definite separation. My father-in-law is the best father-figure I have ever met - he's superman; kind; smart; everything you could ask for in a dad - he is that. They seemed to be the perfect married couple. And then this happens.

Where I come from, separation and annulment are rare and it only happens when there is absolutely no way that the married couple can stay together anymore, ie abuse or something like that. It's not normal for me. So I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know how to react or act around my in-laws, what to say to my husband, how to tell how he manages it. My husband is the kind of person who prefers to keep his emotions hidden and here I am wondering how I can get him to not keep his emotions hidden. What can I do?

Edited September 17, 2013 by ezzy

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Every couple has their own pattern of how they deal with problems. What makes you think they're on the verge of divorce , especially a couple who has been married for quite a while? That's a big jump from having a fight to getting a divorce.

I think you need to take you queue from your husband - his reaction will be your key in how he wishes to deal with it. You're entitled to your opinions and if you're close to the parents perhaps you can talk with one or both if they welcome your intentions. Until something actually happens though, its really none of your business whether they're having a disagreement over something or not. They're grown-ups, they'll figure it out.

Good luck

[NikLR 13,227]

People that you think can be perfect couples can have some underlying issues that they are very private about. For instance my sister and BIL, they always seemed like the best couple until one day, they split to take a break. It stunned everyone. No one knew they had problems. I saw them apart and my BIL was so unhappy, it was written all over him. They're back together now and happier than ever knowing that it was a break down in communication and able to move forward and deal with it.

When my ex and I broke up it stunned a lot of people. We were always able to put on a happy face around others but that doesn't mean we were happy. I hate pretending something is alright and fake. That relationship taught me how to do that, which I hate. My ex was very private though and hated that anyone thought anything was ever wrong.

I would talk to your husband about what's going on and ask him what he'd like you to do. Tell him you're there for him if he wants. Don't take it personally, however, if he's distant. He'll be dealing with some emotions and it has nothing to do with you, or your relationship, if he has a hard time sharing. You've stated that's the kind of person he is and just being there for him is probably all he needs from you.