Need to break it off, but how?

[jetset55 0]

...and also I felt responsible for her. She always said that it was my fault that she had fallen so hard for me, and that I needed to keep my commitment to marry her.

This was certaintly one of the worst decisions I have made, one that I have learned volumes from and hope that I don't live to regret...

[desert_fox 32]

It sees unusual thatsomeone could be in this country without a visa and illegally for three years and get a K1 approval but then again who knows with immigrations.

She did not have the K1 approved but the I-129F. The K1 will be approved or not at the interview. For what I know, because of her illegally stay she would have the visa denied and be able to file the I-601 waiver.

This is correct. I'm not one for lying, but could you tell her that you've just learned that due to her previous overstay, her visa will be denied? Depending on the country, approval of the 601 waiver is in no way a sure thing, so it's not a total lie . . .

KitKat1, that is EXACTLY what I am looking for. Something plausible to explain why she wouldn't get the visa but not make me the bad guy. I even thought of calling the embassy and asking that they deny her, but then I thought they would think I'm a total idiot, and I don't want a denial to be on her record either.

You might just want to go ahead and fake your own death.

Juuuust kidding.

Good luck to you,

Sarah

Some days I wished I could have...

Is the only reason she went back to Bolivia because of your K1 petition?

Yes, she is a person that cannot accept the truth and let go. This was the only civil way that she would leave.

she isnt violent...she is psycho.

She will be facing a 10 year bar on re-entry without a waiver. You gonna write a letter for the waiver telling of your hardships if the waiver is denied???...I dont think so.

[kitkat1 5]

So here's the official info:

http://travel.state.gov/visa/frvi/ineligib...ities_1364.html

Classes of Aliens Ineligible to Receive Visas

B ALIENS UNLAWFULLY PRESENT.-

(i) In general.-Any alien (other than an alien lawfully admitted for permanent residence) who-

(I) was unlawfully present in the United States for a period of more than 180 days but less than 1 year, voluntarily departed the United States (whether or not pursuant to section 244(e)) prior to the commencement of proceedings under section 235b(1) or section 240, and again seeks admission within 3 years of the date of such alien's departure or removal, or

(II) has been unlawfully present in the United States for one year or more, and who again seeks admission within 10 years of the date of such alien's departure or removal from the United States,is inadmissible.

Tell her it's a 10 year ban meaning her visa will be denied and she will not be able to apply again for 10 years from the date she left the country. If she does know about the 601 waiver process, tell her that you have been doing research and you have learned that the approval rate for fiance waivers in Bolivia is very very low and takes at least a year for processing. This may or may not be true, but at least you have the official information here (leaving out the detail that she is eligible for a waiver).

[William33 110]

Why make it complicated; looking for an easy way out?

Just say that after further consideration, "we" don't work as a couple. Goodbye.

If relationships didn't end badly, they would not end. The truth is always best.

Edited December 9, 2006 by William33

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

This is just my own opinion, but in the long run, I think you may be better off just breaking all contact with her, cancel the visa and simply don't respond to her in any way (change your phone number, email addresses and don't answer any of her letters).

If you don't do this, it sounds as if your relationship will continue on and on (even long distance) and she will be caught up in a going nowhere relationship (as will you). Better to sever all ties and in time she will get over you and vice versa.

Edited December 9, 2006 by jane2005

[desert_fox 32]

you could tell her that::

1. you found out you are gay

2. decided to join the French Foreign Legion

3. Becoming a priest

4. kidnapped by space aliens

5. going to prison

6. like little girls

7. ...etc.

You have hundreds of options.

[kitkat1 5]

Something plausible to explain why she wouldn't get the visa but not make me the bad guy.

Well the poor guy is looking for a way to handle it without her psychoing out on him . . . he said she will not accept the truth and let go, so why not give her an explanation/excuse/reason that is completely out of his hands? I don't like the idea of lying, but I don't like the idea of a violent psycho fiance either!

[sarah and hicham 3]

Can't you just explain to her that it's over? How can she get back into the country to beat you up anyways? Am I being naive about something here?

[William33 110]

That was the element I was emphasizing. She has no way of coming over here. Tell the truth, change your phone number. Case closed.

Can't you just explain to her that it's over? How can she get back into the country to beat you up anyways? Am I being naive about something here?

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

If it's that bad that you are fearful for your safety (or even life), I am sure something can be done to protect you. if she sends you threats based on this break up, you should report them (maybe to the FBI). I think that'll kill any chance of her legally returning to the states and castrating you.

[EBONY_SEAN 1]

yo this is so easy just dont send her the stuff she needs for the interview. better yet she gotta have a plane ticket so just dont send for her.

[jetset55 0]

No, I don't think she would attempt to regain entry into the US, but it is within her ability financially and otherwise.

She is not particularly violent, but makes threats, and I don't appreciate that.

If I just cancel the process that is enough, but I'm a merciful soul and don't want her to be hurt.

But it's been three years living like this, being faithful to her, while still taking care that she wasn't feeling too rejected or otherwise.

It took so long because we first applied for a K3 visa based on a marriage in Mexico which was rejected because her divorce from a previous marriage was not finalized. But the marriage is still there, albeit probably invalid, and she has used that to threaten me as well.

At the end, I'm sure it's all hot air, but just covering my bases. I would like to be careful and finesse this as much as I can. I don't like to hurt people's feelings or create undue resentment in a situation, I don't think it's healthy.

Take care you all, I think I'm making progress and will keep in touch with what happens.

[Peggy 1]

Good luck.............

I would just change my number and tell her your not interested in her anymore.

Case closed

[TracyTN 237]

yo this is so easy just dont send her the stuff she needs for the interview. better yet she gotta have a plane ticket so just dont send for her.

Actually, that's a good point. She won't get the visa if you don't send her the documents she needs from you (affidavit of support and supporting documents, for one). Yet, I would still contact the embassy and tell them of your intention to withdraw the petition. I don't see her getting back into the US anytime soon (unless she goes to Mexico and somehow sneaks across the border), but I'd still change my phone number(s), etc. Who needs a psycho stalker, even if they are from another country?

[Moonie 0]

yo this is so easy just dont send her the stuff she needs for the interview. better yet she gotta have a plane ticket so just dont send for her.

Actually, that's a good point. She won't get the visa if you don't send her the documents she needs from you (affidavit of support and supporting documents, for one). Yet, I would still contact the embassy and tell them of your intention to withdraw the petition. I don't see her getting back into the US anytime soon (unless she goes to Mexico and somehow sneaks across the border), but I'd still change my phone number(s), etc. Who needs a psycho stalker, even if they are from another country?

I agree. Send the paperwork that says you are withdrawing the petition. If there is no marriage there is no reason for her to come back.