Is the K-1 really necessary? My boyfriend thinks it's a waste of money...

[Neonred 3,569]

Do it the legal way. It is the best way and you will not have to worry. That is how my then fiance came in, on the K-1.

Having said that, if I knew then what I know now, and IF my fiance were able to get a tourist visa, I would do what the OP's boyfriend is suggesting and get married after 60 days. I have a few friends that did this and had no issues.

[lierre 224]

My husband is in the military, too. Our situation is different in that he is stationed overseas, so we decided to go the CR 1 visa route (i.e. got married in my home country and I moved to Japan, where his station is). This is the quickest way for us since I can have SOFA status in Japan as his dependent.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is... I have never been privy to US military life before I moved to Japan to be with my husband. He tried telling me everything he thinks I need to know, like how often he deploys and how living in Japan is like. I have even visited Japan a few months before we got married on a tourist visa and experienced the military "culture" for a month. But, all that wasn't enough to prepare me for being a military wife.

My husband's AF. And he deploys A LOT. I could have a job but I couldn't find any. I met with other military wives and husbands, but it was still hard to find real friends. For my first 3 months in Japan, I was jobless, wasn't driving and was friendless. Pretty much how it can be if you go to the US, get married and him deploying right away. It was a tough first few months.

So, I am encouraging you to pursue the legal way. AND to be sure that this is really what you and your boyfriend wants... to be MARRIED. I know how frustrating it is being in a long distance relationship, but make sure thag before you sign any paper or hop on a plane, you and your boyfriend want to get married.

Feel free to message me with questions about the process and the military life. I'm willing to help you out

[rjm_cmyk 75]

I am going to make a sweeping generalisation here ( and may well get slated for it) but it sounds to me like the OP's American partner is as uninformed about the immigration process as many Americans seem to be. And let's face it why would they be. Who here as a non-USC is fully upto speed with the immigration requirements of their own country ?

I have lost count of the number of Americans who have asked me why I don't just move to the US to be with my partner. They are genuinely surprised how difficult it is , how costly and how long it take the limited options for those who "legally" want to move to the US.

And my comment to the OP - I don't have a huge moral problem with people who buck the system assuming they genuinely want to be married. I just wouldn't take the risk of a ban - unlikely as that probably is. Money wise - the cost of the visa is only a small part of the overall cost of moving country if you have an established life in your home country. It'll cost me more just to sell my house.

[spectheintro 18]

Your BF is right, it is a waste of money, but not for the reason he thinks. If you're going to get married, get married, and apply for the CR-1 and use the visa waiver to visit each other easily. The K-1 simply adds money for a luxury you already have: being able to visit each other easily. No matter what you do, the CR-1 fees are fees you will HAVE to pay in order to get your greencard, so inserting the K-1 into the mix is a waste of your time. Get married, apply for CR-1 the legal way. If your boyfriend is in the military he'll have a much easier time getting you over here; the system is designed to favor people in his situation.

[lierre 224]

It's not much easier. You still have to wait. But, if he has deployment orders, you can very well make your application so that it can be expedited.

Just do all the research. Tell him not to be lazy and research, too. Well, i actually did all the research myself and just told my husband what to do and where to sign, haha. So, you should also start informing yourself. Start with the guides on here and the uscis.gov and state.gov sites

[milimelo 4,486]

That's interesting as AFN has at least two PSA (public service announcements) about getting married to a foreign national and doing it the right way. There's definitely wait time involved. They also say to contact your legal office for more help on this. Besides, in 99.9% of cases you have to get command approval before tying the knot.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

It's not much easier. You still have to wait. But, if he has deployment orders, you can very well make your application so that it can be expedited.

Just do all the research. Tell him not to be lazy and research, too. Well, i actually did all the research myself and just told my husband what to do and where to sign, haha. So, you should also start informing yourself. Start with the guides on here and the uscis.gov and state.gov sites

Great advice! Also do your research.

Aloha Ke Akua

[mozplay 29]

Just to be clear, I don't think the OP was intending to break the law or not do things the legal way. She was asking for advice and options. I have no problem with stressing the importance of legalities, but it's a little dire to say that her posting here proves that she had intent to circumvent the law.

Regardless, you've been given some solid advice and to reiterate, because this is commonly misunderstood ... it is perfectly legal to enter the USA on a VWP or any visa for that matter and get married. What is not legal is to marry with the intent of staying, if your visa does not specifically allow for that. I entered on a VWP and got married and then stayed for as long as I was legally able before going back to my home country to wait out the reminder of the process.

[NikLR 13,227]

OP hasn't been on the forum since the 16th.

I hope they decide to do what's best for them.