For those who met online/telephone

[Jenn! 918]

It's not about validation, it's about education. I am trying to show people who don't understand it that look, it happened to me, never ever thought it would, did not chose this path intentionally, I am considered a level headed person by those who know me, and now we are still happy. So maybe it can change some minds about what falling in love on the net means. If not, that's ok too.

I must say that although I'm still not convinced it's something that would be possible for me, I have changed my opinion about how it can happen for others. Mostly because of people like Stina sharing their experiences.

[chri'stina 190]

It's not about validation, it's about education. I am trying to show people who don't understand it that look, it happened to me, never ever thought it would, did not chose this path intentionally, I am considered a level headed person by those who know me, and now we are still happy. So maybe it can change some minds about what falling in love on the net means. If not, that's ok too.

I must say that although I'm still not convinced it's something that would be possible for me, I have changed my opinion about how it can happen for others. Mostly because of people like Stina sharing their experiences.

Thank you very much Jenn!

And I wouldn't try to change your mind about it happening to you, but am glad you don't think I'm crazy.

[rebeccajo 14]

It's probably safe to say that it CAN'T happen for everybody. People are too complex and varied for us all to have the same response to a situation.

In 'defense' (if one is needed) of the statement 'no it can't happen', I think some posters are saying the love can't be there until they physical variables have been figured out. And nooooooooo, I don't mean the sex stuff. I mean like if somebody has weird little habits you can't stand, or being around the person to see how they treat others and how others respond to them.

Like I stated above, I felt I loved my husband before wet face to face, and he loved me. But we both knew damn good and well there was more we had to figure out once face to face.

[Fandango 1,439]

This is really interesting. Of the people in a chat room I run, all but one said no, you can't love them, whereas on here the majority is for yes, you can.

One reason may be that VJ is a forum for people either married or wanting to get married, which means they love someone already. And many people on VJ have fallen in love after meeting online, as the results to this poll show a lot more "yes" answers than the other options.

The tricky thing is that since probably everyone on VJ is already in love, they already walked the path of how they fell in love. Some met in person before forming a relationship. Some fell in love after talking online. Some of us would have never met the person if we had not met either randomly or by pursuit on the internet. I never planned to go to India anytime soon in my life. Sujeet couldn't get a tourist visa for the US and wasn't planning on ever living here. So our path to meeting was decided by God (just my feeling on it) and that is why we met online instead of in person .

If the chat room you run is not a place where everyone is in some sort of relationship like the ppl on VJ are, it cannot compare with the answers here.

In regards to the past few posts before mine...

There have been a couple people in the thread making it appear that they think it's not possible for anyone to really love someone they met online. They didn't only make it about them or their relationship, they made it apply to everyone. That's the part that gets a little irritating IMO. But oh well, what can you do about it. I really never felt this awkwardness on VJ about how I met Sujeet until recently. And I don't get it that after me being married for over 2 years now, people would still doubt whether it could happen or not to anyone. I'd understand if people were doubting it when I first met him and also while he was still in India.

It's not about validation, it's about education. I am trying to show people who don't understand it that look, it happened to me, never ever thought it would, did not chose this path intentionally, I am considered a level headed person by those who know me, and now we are still happy. So maybe it can change some minds about what falling in love on the net means. If not, that's ok too.

Stina I appreciate what you're saying, and I thank you for your response, but I have to point out the fact that I don't understand why someone's opinion could make you feel awkward about how you met your husband. That's my point really.....opinions will always differ and whether or not someone understands, or needs 'education' about the legitimacy of how ppl fall in love should have no bearing on the situation. You're happy...Sujeet is happy, so who cares whether or not Susie Q from Hoboken understands or agrees?

[Jasman0717 9]

I'm not sure that I loved Claudeth when we first started chatting but found out quickly we really did think alike. Then when I met her I just knew she was the one for me. I have never met a woman like this before, wow, I am in heaven

[rebeccajo 14]

I'm not sure that I loved Claudeth when we first started chatting but found out quickly we really did think alike. Then when I met her I just knew she was the one for me. I have never met a woman like this before, wow, I am in heaven

LOLOL....Apparently it hasn't worn off, then? I'm not surprised. You two are cute as can be!

[Scott & Lai 12]

In regards to the past few posts before mine...

There have been a couple people in the thread making it appear that they think it's not possible for anyone to really love someone they met online. They didn't only make it about them or their relationship, they made it apply to everyone. That's the part that gets a little irritating IMO. But oh well, what can you do about it. I really never felt this awkwardness on VJ about how I met Sujeet until recently. And I don't get it that after me being married for over 2 years now, people would still doubt whether it could happen or not to anyone. I'd understand if people were doubting it when I first met him and also while he was still in India.

It's not about validation, it's about education. I am trying to show people who don't understand it that look, it happened to me, never ever thought it would, did not chose this path intentionally, I am considered a level headed person by those who know me, and now we are still happy. So maybe it can change some minds about what falling in love on the net means. If not, that's ok too.

Thanks, Stina, once again you've expressed my point much better than I could I certainly don't need anyone's validation to be secure in the knowledge that Lai and I truly loved each other before we met face to face. I just find it annoying that people claim to be able to speak for others in this regard and apparently know better than they do. How can they really know what is possible for someone else?

[cartaverde 12]

I met my husband at work ... in intranet, some documents available in our company's internal website. I had to bug him for more info about something, so I found his handle and dropped him a chat. And it all started of that chat. Then another chat and then some other chat ..

and in a few months he flew over - he was in US, I in Europe, even though for the same company... In which moment there was no doubts about this lasting forever.

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

Marlon and I loved each other before we met IRL! *shrug*

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

I still don't see where anyone judged others on this thread..

[chri'stina 190]

This is really interesting. Of the people in a chat room I run, all but one said no, you can't love them, whereas on here the majority is for yes, you can.

One reason may be that VJ is a forum for people either married or wanting to get married, which means they love someone already. And many people on VJ have fallen in love after meeting online, as the results to this poll show a lot more "yes" answers than the other options.

The tricky thing is that since probably everyone on VJ is already in love, they already walked the path of how they fell in love. Some met in person before forming a relationship. Some fell in love after talking online. Some of us would have never met the person if we had not met either randomly or by pursuit on the internet. I never planned to go to India anytime soon in my life. Sujeet couldn't get a tourist visa for the US and wasn't planning on ever living here. So our path to meeting was decided by God (just my feeling on it) and that is why we met online instead of in person .

If the chat room you run is not a place where everyone is in some sort of relationship like the ppl on VJ are, it cannot compare with the answers here.

In regards to the past few posts before mine...

There have been a couple people in the thread making it appear that they think it's not possible for anyone to really love someone they met online. They didn't only make it about them or their relationship, they made it apply to everyone. That's the part that gets a little irritating IMO. But oh well, what can you do about it. I really never felt this awkwardness on VJ about how I met Sujeet until recently. And I don't get it that after me being married for over 2 years now, people would still doubt whether it could happen or not to anyone. I'd understand if people were doubting it when I first met him and also while he was still in India.

It's not about validation, it's about education. I am trying to show people who don't understand it that look, it happened to me, never ever thought it would, did not chose this path intentionally, I am considered a level headed person by those who know me, and now we are still happy. So maybe it can change some minds about what falling in love on the net means. If not, that's ok too.

Stina I appreciate what you're saying, and I thank you for your response, but I have to point out the fact that I don't understand why someone's opinion could make you feel awkward about how you met your husband. That's my point really.....opinions will always differ and whether or not someone understands, or needs 'education' about the legitimacy of how ppl fall in love should have no bearing on the situation. You're happy...Sujeet is happy, so who cares whether or not Susie Q from Hoboken understands or agrees?

I know what you are saying. But I don't feel that way 100%. VJ has been a part of my life for awhile now, and I do care about many members here. And I would feel bad if some may think less of how Sujeet and I fell in love, because I don't want people to think of me that way. So I may not care what a total stranger says, true, but many people on here are not strangers to me. Maybe that is my own issue. I cannot say that this place that I spend too much time on(hehe) means nothing to me and that the people who participate mean nothing to me. I would be lying. Even if I don't know some members well, they are people who I have seen or talked to on VJ for awhile now. And if there is a subject they may find strange about me, I'd like to try to explain my POV or help them understand what I experienced.

Anyway, I know I've shared my POV in this thread a few times already. So I'll just leave it at that.

[Rob and Melinda 0]

that is a really good question. Before this process started I would not have believed it to be true that you could love someone deeply before you had ever met them. After only 2 months of communicating with Melinda on Yahoo chat I was surre that I was in love with her. The second hour I was with her in the Philippines my feelings were confirmed and I proposed the next day. Coming up on our 1 year anniversary...

Rob

[Queen Jenn 0]

If you asked me, the answer is yes.

If you ask him, the answer is . . . .yes.

I would never have believed someone if they had told me that they fell in love online before meeting the person. But now that it has happened to me . . . . . I'M A BELIEVER

[Queen Jenn 0]

Oh, and by the way. We HAVE NOT met in person yet. That's the last thing we are trying to get accomplished before we can apply for the K-1 visa. Some people have told me I'm crazy. Someone really close said that I must be desparate.

But they are not me and they don't know him. And I have been "in love" before with someone I met in person. My relationship with Gbenga is SO MUCH DEEPER than I have ever experienced before. I KNOW IT'S LOVE.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I guess it is for other people. For my husband and I, we had traded pics and thought the other was cute, but there was nothing more than that until we met two and a half years after we started chatting. I never met him in person with the intention of a relationship or love and visa versa, but obviously, that is what came out of it anyway.