For those who met online/telephone

[BJZags 17]

I thought I was in love with the person I had built-up in my mind over the months of chatting and eMailing one-another, but I did not fully expect her to be the "same" person in real life. Once it was obvious that real life met my "expectations", then it WAS love for sure. But not before face-to-face meeting.

[Buttons 0]

I met my wife in person.

Somehow, I find it difficult to imagine falling in love without an actual "in person" relationship. Otherwise, You would only get 50% of the picture, or less.

Can you have a great deal of affection for that person? Sure.

Love? No way.

I agree ! Great response !

[chri'stina 190]

Maybe what some people don't realize is the amount of time some of us spent talking to our loved ones before we were able to meet.

I talked to Sujeet about 2 years, almost everyday on the net or on the phone, until I could meet him face to face.

If you talk to someone for 2 years and get to know everything about them, and you see them in pictures or videos, and the only reason you can't meet yet is for instance, because he couldn't get a tourist visa for the US and I had to graduate college first, then IMO it's easy to love someone after all that time. For those who don't understand it, I was in that same place when I saw it happen to a friend of mine and thought that could not happen to me.

But I'd find it very hard not to love someone after talking to them for 2 years and waiting and waiting to be able to go see them.

That's why I said it may not happen overnight. For me it was over a period of 2 years.

[Vipul and Jamie 0]

You absolutely can fall in love with someone without having met face to face. Vipul and I chatted, talked on the phone, exchanged pictures, and ect. for about 3 years before I was able to come to India to see him. We waited another year and half after that seperated until I could graduate and until he got the visa. Alot of people don't understand and that's ok. My parents, even though they are supportive now still admit to me that they don't understand how someone can fall in love over the internet. Of course there are risks of meeting online but isn't there just as much as a risk meeting someone in a bar? I think so. I've seen people marry their spouse from church and it be a total failure. Bottom line for Vipul and I is that it worked for us. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it doesn't necessarily mean the love is any less genuine.

-Jamie

Edited December 18, 2006 by VipulandJamie

[rebeccajo 14]

Love is an emotion. Emotions are felt differently by different people.

Why should we question each others emotions unless we are trying to get a glimpse into that emotion?

[Caladan 19]

Maybe what some people don't realize is the amount of time some of us spent talking to our loved ones before we were able to meet.

I talked to Sujeet about 2 years, almost everyday on the net or on the phone, until I could meet him face to face.

If you talk to someone for 2 years and get to know everything about them, and you see them in pictures or videos, and the only reason you can't meet yet is for instance, because he couldn't get a tourist visa for the US and I had to graduate college first, then IMO it's easy to love someone after all that time. For those who don't understand it, I was in that same place when I saw it happen to a friend of mine and thought that could not happen to me.

But I'd find it very hard not to love someone after talking to them for 2 years and waiting and waiting to be able to go see them.

That's why I said it may not happen overnight. For me it was over a period of 2 years.

Fourteen months for me of chatting and talking before we met in person. Still don't believe we were in love before we met. I knew quite a lot about him, but what I didn't know was any of his interactions with other people. To me, that was pretty important. I wouldn't say that I didn't have feelings, but to say I was in love seemed to me a stretch.

[TracyTN 237]

Love is an emotion. Emotions are felt differently by different people.

Why should we question each others emotions unless we are trying to get a glimpse into that emotion?

That's true.

Also, when I talk to people about not being sure I want to have kids because I'm not sure I have the patience, people tell me ALL the time 'its different when they're your kids'. I HEAR what they're saying, but there's no way for me to truly believe it because its never happened to me - so I have no frame of reference to know whether or not its actually true.

Its the same sort of thing here - if its not happened to you, it is really hard to understand how it can happen.

[chri'stina 190]

Maybe what some people don't realize is the amount of time some of us spent talking to our loved ones before we were able to meet.

I talked to Sujeet about 2 years, almost everyday on the net or on the phone, until I could meet him face to face.

If you talk to someone for 2 years and get to know everything about them, and you see them in pictures or videos, and the only reason you can't meet yet is for instance, because he couldn't get a tourist visa for the US and I had to graduate college first, then IMO it's easy to love someone after all that time. For those who don't understand it, I was in that same place when I saw it happen to a friend of mine and thought that could not happen to me.

But I'd find it very hard not to love someone after talking to them for 2 years and waiting and waiting to be able to go see them.

That's why I said it may not happen overnight. For me it was over a period of 2 years.

Fourteen months for me of chatting and talking before we met in person. Still don't believe we were in love before we met. I knew quite a lot about him, but what I didn't know was any of his interactions with other people. To me, that was pretty important. I wouldn't say that I didn't have feelings, but to say I was in love seemed to me a stretch.

Yeah, we all have different experiences.

But I just don't want anyone to try to say that it can never happen to anyone, because it did happen to me and Sujeet. If someone doesn't believe it could happen to them, that is fine. But to say it can't happen to anyone kind of belittles the love I really had for Sujeet before going to India. I know it may sound crazy to some, but I can't really care since I know what happened in my life. I don't think anyone can convince me that I was not really in love back then (and am still today many years later).

There is a saying I like, "experience" wins over an "argument" every time. I experienced it, so I definitely think it can happen. Those who have not experienced it, don't think it can happen. I don't belittle them for it, because I used to think the same exact way about it.

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

This is really interesting. Of the people in a chat room I run, all but one said no, you can't love them, whereas on here the majority is for yes, you can.

I agree on the validation when you meet in person. Dave and I knew eachother 5 years before we met. We cared for eachother deeply and didn't want to lose our friendship or the contact, but wouldn't have said we loved eachother then. It was 5 days into my first visit that we both admitted we were falling in love.

As Rebeccajo said Love is an emotion. Emotions are felt differently by different people.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I think you still fall, just like you do face-to-face. But the validation is still missing. It's tough. I think those of us who have done it did so because we thought the prize could outweigh the barriers we might put on our emotions if we didn't follow them. We knew we could somehow pick up the pieces and go on if our intuition was off.

[sweetnsalty 0]

Funny how arranged marriages can sort of fall under the same question. At least in my case. Our families were delighted with one another and it was up to us. We began talking over the phone, emails, im. Pretty soon, we had known that we were made for one another. I made my personal decision long before the first time we met at the airport (with his uncle and all my brit cousins). Although my fiance kept reassuring me that he did as well, I told him that I wasn't sure about my own decision so he wouldn't feel bad about wanting to back out should he choose, upon our first encounter. If I sensed a single bit of uncertainty, I would have called it off (not having said my decision) to save him some face. However, the first blissful moment we glanced at one another in front of everyone... is one of the most beautiful, blush-filled memories ever! The one-on-one conversation that followed certainly confirmed it.

I don't like binding people into something they may regret later. I know my loyalty and my limitations... not anyone else's.

(Except now, I think I know my fiance better than he knows himself and vice versa! )

[JElsafty 0]

I knew I loved my husband long before we met face to face

[wherezdabearz 0]

Hell, yes! We did.

[Ladylethal 12]

I say yes, but without meeting you can't really be sure, I mean, you can get drawn to what you learn online, but to be true love you have to combine online and offline to understand who that person really is.

[Fandango 1,439]

Love is an emotion. Emotions are felt differently by different people.

Why should we question each others emotions unless we are trying to get a glimpse into that emotion?

I don't think anyone's questioning other ppl's emotions or their rights to them, I just think everyone's giving his/her own perspective on the matter.