For those who met online/telephone

[Yodrak 7]

cheeky^wolf,

I think not. It takes time together to find out if the person one imagined from the writing and phone calls matches the flesh-and-blood person.

Yodrak

.... Can you really love someone before meeting them face to face or is it just the anticipation of the relationship and future you fall in love with?

[Marilyn. 340]

my hubby and I met in person about 8 months after we first starting chatting....

Hubby says he knew he loved me before we met... I thought I loved him too but I knew I needed to see him in person to confirm these feelings.... I knew the first instant I saw him that I did indeed love him...

Edited December 10, 2006 by MarilynP

[Elphie 0]

yes of course its possible. It wont happen overnight however.

[KarenCee 3]

Yes I believe you can.

BUT......I was mortified it wouldn't translate to 'real life'. I was afraid there would not be 'chemistry'. I was afraid that we might only be seeing what we wanted to see, which was in all honesty an imcomplete picture.

I fell for my husband hard online. We didn't meet face to face for five months and it was driving me nuts! I was not interested in spending months - years - online only to learn later it was a heartbreaking fantasy.

I was in love but I had to see it returned in his eyes. And I had to see the rest of the picture. It's very one-dimensional before meeting face to face.

This was how it was for me and Joel. We knew we felt something. Deep down we were both in love with each other but wanted...needed...that face to face to actually confirm things. We needed that complete picture that only being with each other in person could supply. It was 8 months of chatting online and talking on the phone (webcam too) before we met face to face that first time. We went s-l-o-w. I fell for Joel HARD. It was still two months after that first F2F before he actually said "I am in love with you". Then it was another full year before he asked me to marry him. Once we committed ourselves to each other, we never looked back.

Seeing myself in Joel's eyes....incredible. Joel seeing himself in my eyes....incredible. Falling in love this way and marrying the other half of me....priceless.

[MrsBruce5 0]

We were quite good friends for a few years before ever meeting, and yes-I did indeed love him with the purest of hearts. I never entertained the thought of meeting him since we were so far away, nor did I look at him as someone I'd be romantically intrested in. He was simply my dear friend.

It was only after 3 years that we met.

Once we did meet in person, our kinship quickly became the foundation for everything else.

[pj1959us 0]

When David and I first met (in person) he had brought some cheesy headband with mistletoe dangling wildly on it because he was afraid that I wouldn't want to kiss him right away.

He didn't need it but it made me laugh so hard that I could barely stand up when he brought it out from his jacket pocket.

[Arazia 0]

Can you love someone? Certainly. I have lots of friends and people I've met from the internet and online that I love, although not in the romantic sense of the word.

If you're talking about romantic love... well you can certainly have feelings for someone, but you won't really know how well you interact in life until you meet. I loved my fiancee before I met him, but I told him that I was reserving judgment until I saw how we interacted together. We hit it off and got along perfectly, so what I felt and thought from online translated perfectly into real life.

[CarolineM 0]

Have to say no.

[Jenn! 918]

I would definitely say no, but I'm one of those to whom it hasn't happened. So what do I know? Despite all of the wonderful stories here on VJ, I still can't quite wrap my head around how it's possible.

[Marilyn. 340]

personally I didn't think it was possible either until it happened to me.... I thought people were crazy that said they met the love of their life on the computer....

so yeah you can say you don't think it is possible but it does happen.....

[rebeccajo 14]

personally I didn't think it was possible either until it happened to me.... I thought people were crazy that said they met the love of their life on the computer....

so yeah you can say you don't think it is possible but it does happen.....

I think it depends on the two people involved, and not just when they are relating to each other.

[Marilyn. 340]

personally I didn't think it was possible either until it happened to me.... I thought people were crazy that said they met the love of their life on the computer....

so yeah you can say you don't think it is possible but it does happen.....

I think it depends on the two people involved, and not just when they are relating to each other.

it must be too early for me because I have no clue what you mean

Edited December 13, 2006 by MarilynP

[TracyTN 237]

I met my fiance online, and while I was pretty sure before we met face to face that I loved him (and he felt the same about me), we were both honest enough with each other to say 'Let's wait and see for sure until we meet in person.' We knew that there had to be a certain amount of 'chemistry' involved, and that it was possible we'd meet up and just not 'click', or get on each other's nerves something fierce, etc.

I wouldn't have planned my life with him without having met him in person at LEAST once. I think that's a little nutso!!

[rebeccajo 14]

personally I didn't think it was possible either until it happened to me.... I thought people were crazy that said they met the love of their life on the computer....

so yeah you can say you don't think it is possible but it does happen.....

I think it depends on the two people involved, and not just when they are relating to each other.

it must be too early for me because I have no clue what you mean

Sorry Marilyn. It was early for me too, I needed to start getting ready for work, and I really didn't know how to type what I was thinking. I'm still not sure that I do...

You know how you become friends with people online? It's a similar process I think. I mean, I have several friends from VJ, and eventually we've talked on the phone. One I've met in person. They are dear friends to me. Those friendships are no less important to me than my face-to-face ones.

I think to have any kind of online relationship there's a certain amount of intuition involved. Like the friendship thing - I've met people online whom I've just chatted with. And I've met some I chatted with a lot. And some I've chatted with a lot, thought were a friend, then later little bells started going off for me that told me....hmm...maybe not.

It takes two people with that same kind of intuition to 'fall in love'. And it takes two smart people to realize that the relationship is still 'virtual'. It's a huge risk to meet up face-to-face when you feel so much for a person. It really creates much more vulnerability than the typical get-to-know-you dating scenario. If you are the vulnerable type, but not realistic, you set yourself up for not being able to face the truth if things are not what everybody thought it would be.

I think you still fall, just like you do face-to-face. But the validation is still missing. It's tough. I think those of us who have done it did so because we thought the prize could outweigh the barriers we might put on our emotions if we didn't follow them. We knew we could somehow pick up the pieces and go on if our intuition was off.

[Marilyn. 340]

personally I didn't think it was possible either until it happened to me.... I thought people were crazy that said they met the love of their life on the computer....

so yeah you can say you don't think it is possible but it does happen.....

I think it depends on the two people involved, and not just when they are relating to each other.

it must be too early for me because I have no clue what you mean

Sorry Marilyn. It was early for me too, I needed to start getting ready for work, and I really didn't know how to type what I was thinking. I'm still not sure that I do...

You know how you become friends with people online? It's a similar process I think. I mean, I have several friends from VJ, and eventually we've talked on the phone. One I've met in person. They are dear friends to me. Those friendships are no less important to me than my face-to-face ones.

I think to have any kind of online relationship there's a certain amount of intuition involved. Like the friendship thing - I've met people online whom I've just chatted with. And I've met some I chatted with a lot. And some I've chatted with a lot, thought were a friend, then later little bells started going off for me that told me....hmm...maybe not.

It takes two people with that same kind of intuition to 'fall in love'. And it takes two smart people to realize that the relationship is still 'virtual'. It's a huge risk to meet up face-to-face when you feel so much for a person. It really creates much more vulnerability than the typical get-to-know-you dating scenario. If you are the vulnerable type, but not realistic, you set yourself up for not being able to face the truth if things are not what everybody thought it would be.

I think you still fall, just like you do face-to-face. But the validation is still missing. It's tough. I think those of us who have done it did so because we thought the prize could outweigh the barriers we might put on our emotions if we didn't follow them. We knew we could somehow pick up the pieces and go on if our intuition was off.

ok, I get it know... and I agree... I have met a few people (guys/girls) online that I have chatted with for awhile but then you start to realize that something isn't right and you move on....

I think it is hard for people to understand who haven't gone through it.... like I mentioned before I didn't think it was possible before I met my hubby...

I knew I didn't want to meet him face to face until I was very sure of who he was.... of course there was still a little bit of worry that he wouldn't be the same guy in person... but as soon as I saw his back leaning against that pole in the airport all my worries disappeared...

Edited December 13, 2006 by MarilynP