Does she still want me??

[slowlyman 118]

Thais have a similar thing to the Phills Tampo. I agree that is whats happening here. It just takes time to learn each other.

For the OP, keep in mind she has as many reservations about your loyalty and you have about her. It's worse for her because she is playing in your sand box. Far, far from home.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

No one here will be able to tell you what to do. I can offer a suggestion though. Ask her, directly and with proper tone of voice all the questions you posted here.

At best we will only be able to speculate, which will certainly worsen your anxiety. Talk to her and let her know how you feel and ask her if anything has changed. Give her an opportunity to share with you any issues she may have and offer her a civilized way out of your relationship if she no longer wishes to pursue it.

I wish you luck!

It doesn't get better than this advice.

[ConfusedByher 0]

It is very Filipino, especially if she came from the province. PTSD is common among immigrants. The way Filipinas often deal with stress is simply to shut down. Is she having nightmares?

Tampo has already been brought up by me and another poster. Tampo is often the only way a Filipina can show she feels dishonored. Unless the USC is intuitive enough to at least try and find a way for her to restore her honor in some way, withdrawal of all affection will not stop. If she still does all the things that need to be done, and gives you the hurt look every she sees you, it is tampo.

Combine that with homesickness, it can be difficult. Our first month together in the US was the worst. Things get better with time, as the wife learned how to adjust. Having Filipina friends and talking to other Filipinos helped.

Hey OP! Are you still around?

Yes. just reading everything

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Did this happen on a Friday night?

[ConfusedByher 0]

Did this happen on a Friday night?

Sunday

[Novembro 1,763]

Needs updates!

[Me_Theo 25]

I don't know about you, but if someone acting like her with me. I never ,ever marry with her. Send her to her country.She has an abuse personality before she hurts complete your life, she wants take something more from you to be quiet.I am sure, she had these kinds experience with other person (other man in internet or other place ) before she knows you . she is staring using same way to you.Sive your life from drama, before you gets "Proverb"for others.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I am surprised at the comments saying ship her back home! Seriously ? You all never have arguments ?

My advice to the OP is that the whole thing is blown out of proportion.
I don't see how her asking you questions is an interrogation.

Why should she not ask about something even if it happened many years ago. So what ?

Granted the timing was off but it obviously bothered her and she did not understand it.

I agree with her that you sound defensive and you need to answer the questions calm and with kindness to reassure her.

You seem a bit harsh the way you posted and I believe she is hurt by your defensiveness, there is no reason to be pissed

at her asking a question. Your defensiveness comes from a place of "she needs to trust me, period."

Be kind and patient and the trust will grow. Nurture it. Stop being pissed.

Be gentle and loving to her and she will be herself again.

Stay pissed off and turn her off.

She is in a strange place, has not adjusted and you are pissed because she wants some information from you that she came across.

Nothing wrong with her googling you.

Instead of feeling you are a disgust to her ask yourself if you have said or done anything that could have hurt her.
Self examination is better than assumptions and speculations.

You both need to communicate any concerns you have whatsoever about ANYTHING in a calm manner and stop the attitude and expectation

that she should just trust you. You are not even validating her fear and concern much less soothing her.

Chillax.

[MagicKingdom 1]

I need some advice.

I think my fiancee is looking for excuses to break up with me and is not attracted to me anymore. We are both here in the states now but not yet married.

I have been feeling like something is wrong ever since I went to Manila for the K1 interview.

When I was there before she was very romantic and affectionate with me, but when I came back she was almost distant. She avoids me sexually when before she was so loving and passionate.

It makes me feel like she is rejecting me, like she is repulsed by me.

Tonight my fiancée woke me up at 1:30am asking, “What is this?”

On her laptop was a webpage from a local court search. Listed was a dispute with an apartment complex from 1999. That’s right 1999!

The dispute was over the break of the lease and that I had not given the proper 30 days advanced notice prior to moving even though the lease was over. No big deal, and who cares.

I was hurt and insulted! She woke me up to interrogate me over this! She don’t trust me and is searching and investigating me while I am sleeping in the bed next to her!

When I react hurt and pissed she says I am being defensive! Why the hell is she searching for ####### to interrogate me on if she really wants to marry me and trusts me? And yes the date was on the page, 1999 and she woke me up over it!

What do I do?

What other possible reason could there be for looking for or questioning me about such things?

Why would a woman who was once gladly willing to do anything for me suddenly avoid me?

Does she have any family here in the USA or know anyone else? If so you may have been scammed and she is just looking for any excuse to leave you but still be able to stay here in the USA.. If you are not married yet I would send her home and cut your losses now. This should be the BEST time of your life if your already having problems like this .. it is just a snapshot of what you are in for in the future.

[Jawaree 717]

I am not marrying with question signs....marriage fixes nothing,

i'd rather sit her down nicely & ask her whats the problems, yep

ppl get homesick but when u r away from home & in love U will

probably call home everyday, but also wants to be closer & closer

to husband to be, some ppl cannot stick out the game for GC,

U think its no sex now? just wait. Dude am not marrying no one

with-holding sex....shoooo not here in the west sorry.

I think u have had ample warnings.

[MrSuaveh 1]

>>She knows everything I can’t imagine what she is looking for.

You cannot imagine, that is true and really there is nothing for you to gain by trying to figure it out yourself.

When you try to figure this out by yourself then you are just torturing yourself. You are desperately trying to figure out why she is acting this way without any information from her and your mind will be able to produce a lot of reasons.

So, to be honest, when I read your responses you seem to be very hesitant to talk to her. It may be that you fear she wants to end the relationship. But only she can tell you what the real reason she has changed. If you do not have that reason then fixing your relationship is going to be very difficult or impossible.

You say that you two 'talked about everything' and the conversations could go on for days. So I would suggest that you go to her and tell her you love her and you love that you two are very open with each other and can talk about anything. And now you feel that something has changed about how she feels about the relationship and you want to understand why that is.

That is just my suggestion which is just what everyone else is saying 'Go talk to her.'

Rick

[lemajeca 5]

Is she trying to drive you away?

I don’t know.

Does she want to go back home?

I don’t think so, it don’t seem like it.

Is she sick? Did she get a disease or STD recently, and is afraid that you'll find out?

No

It feels like she just isn't physically attracted to me anymore.

sorry to ask this but have you cheated on her and then she found it out? i think it's always best to talk to her about what you feel...

[pdnov142012 8]

I need some advice.

I think my fiancee is looking for excuses to break up with me and is not attracted to me anymore. We are both here in the states now but not yet married.

I have been feeling like something is wrong ever since I went to Manila for the K1 interview.

When I was there before she was very romantic and affectionate with me, but when I came back she was almost distant. She avoids me sexually when before she was so loving and passionate.

It makes me feel like she is rejecting me, like she is repulsed by me.

Tonight my fiancée woke me up at 1:30am asking, “What is this?”

On her laptop was a webpage from a local court search. Listed was a dispute with an apartment complex from 1999. That’s right 1999!

The dispute was over the break of the lease and that I had not given the proper 30 days advanced notice prior to moving even though the lease was over. No big deal, and who cares.

I was hurt and insulted! She woke me up to interrogate me over this! She don’t trust me and is searching and investigating me while I am sleeping in the bed next to her!

When I react hurt and pissed she says I am being defensive! Why the hell is she searching for ####### to interrogate me on if she really wants to marry me and trusts me? And yes the date was on the page, 1999 and she woke me up over it!

What do I do?

What other possible reason could there be for looking for or questioning me about such things?

Why would a woman who was once gladly willing to do anything for me suddenly avoid me?

she is the one that applied for you, is that correct? if so, then she is not using you to get a green card. right?

all relationships have their ups and downs, more so in marriage. don't leave her, talk to her, without accusing her or being defensive of yourself. you are getting a taste of married life. it is not always rosy, but the good times always outshine the bad times

take your time to talk to her, and understand what is going on. i am sure she loves you very much.

good luck.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

she is the one that applied for you, is that correct?

Philippines? 99.9% sure the OP is the USC.

[Anna Grant 169]

Philippines? 99.9% sure the OP is the USC.

I think so too. I just think the OP meant that they accompanied his fiancee to the interview in Manila.