Coping with the separation

[premo 1]

Salam to everyone. It's been about 3 months since filing our k-1 petition (I am US citizen) and my fiancé is Palestinian (living in Jordan). I just arrived back about a week ago from seeing him and family, but its as if I never went. I'm already planning a third trip. Part of me wants to just go live there and wait it out and restart my career after the week (of course I'd deplete my savings). I just don't have any patience left. I feel so depressed every day and we talk through out the day online, text, etc.

I am a revert of 8 years and while my faith/deen is still a work in progress, I do pray and that some times provides a bit of relief. I am just wondering how all the sisters are coping? Sorry if I am ranting, just hoping to share with others going through similar process.

thanks for listening....

[abbi627 43]

I completely understand how you are feeling. It has been just over three months since I came back from Morocco. I lived there with him for three months on this past visit. I have come home and filed the I-130. We talk every day. Several times a day. Quick phone calls to say good morning, calls on lunch breaks, online time after work, another call to say good night. But it is not the same as being there with him. And I miss him so much I sometimes fall asleep crying. At first I had trouble sleeping but since I am now working two jobs and working seven days a week I no longer have trouble sleeping LOL.

I do pray too although I am still learning the correct way of prayers and still have a lot to learn. Prayer helps, staying busy helps, regular talks with my husband helps, planning my next visit helps. But It is hard. No doubt about it - it is hard.

Feel free to PM me is you want to talk any time. And remember you will get through this. We all will. It is just a matter of time.

[SusanAdili 8]

as salamu alaykum sisters! My fiance is in Algeria and I have been waiting since January 2013. We text everyday and Skype at least 2 hours each evening in sha Allah. It is very tough, frustrating, although we talk everyday it is just not the same as being together. We are now just waiting for the interview to be schedule and in sha Allah it will be soon.....I just do not know how much longer I can be without him.

I stay busy with my prayers, reading the Quran and spending time with my family. We will make it through this, in sha Allah!!!!! Feel free to contact me if you just want to chat..

[abbi627 43]

It is nice to meet other sisters in similar circumstances. Yes we will make it through this inshaa Allah.

I just said good night to my husband a little while ago and then after we hung up I started crying. I want to be able to sit next to my husband while we have dinner. I want to talk to him in person instead of online or on the phone. I want to hug my husband. I just want to live a normal life with my husband.

But tomorrow is another day and tomorrow brings us one day closer to the day we can be together forever. Planning my next visit helps a lot too!

The important thing for me is this: I love my husband. I would do anything to be with him. And right now that means I have to try to be patient and wait for this process to be completed. And I remember that I am blessed to have my wonderful husband in my life. So yes it is difficult - but he is worth it.

[premo 1]

Asalam walaikom sisters

thank you for the kind words. i will be reaching out and inshallah can help with learning some surahs.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

This is a tough process, and it requires nerves of steel.

And this is actually the easy part of the journey. The adjustment phase (after the foreign spouse/fiance(e) moves to the US and the honeymoon phase wears off and reality sets in) is often a lot harder (and lasts a lot longer.)

Try to stay busy, and maybe try to read up on all the threads we have here in the MENA forum on these topics to get some idea of what couples have faced - it may help a lot. Venting is fine, too !

Best of luck for a speedy and successful process to everyone still waiting - I know what it's like and it's not fun.

[SusanAdili 8]

as salamu alaykum.......we are all going through this together.. Together we can be stronger, in sha ALLAH

[Tota 2]

Inshallah God give us all more patience...

[ModynMiro 1]

Salam everyone,

Me and my husband never thought it would be this hard. With everything going on in Egypt is makes it harder. I ask Allah give us all sabr insha'allah. Its a blessing for skype that's for sure,Alhamdulia. If i had it my way i would be over there now waiting out the process with my husband. Making dua that i don't lose my mind in this long journey.

[JLSBMF 16]

God bless us all - yes it's very hard - as I type this my fiancée is at his interview and I am up waiting on pins and needles for his call - today is our two year anniversary and its been the most beautiful amazing and difficult times of my life - to live apart from the only one you love - not to be able to share simple things couples take for granted is dam hard. Thankfully I have had five visits in two years but its never enough ....

I filed the petition last September - almost a year later I look back on these long months and know our relationship has been tested many times but here I am minutes maybe from approval inshallah -

Be patient ladies - focus on anything to keep your mind busy - pray ... I pray all the time

Inshallah you will all have your hearts desires ....

[abbi627 43]

Praying for good new for your interview today. Please let us know how it goes.

[JLSBMF 16]

Hi Ladies

He was approved and without AP -

we are thrilled - excited - numb

I cannot believe after one year of this journey

and two years after we met today he is actually going to

be here with me - no more goodbyes - no more airport scenes

have faith you days will come

[Tota 2]

Hi Ladies

He was approved and without AP -

we are thrilled - excited - numb

I cannot believe after one year of this journey

and two years after we met today he is actually going to

be here with me - no more goodbyes - no more airport scenes

have faith you days will come

Congratulations!! Approved without AP though??

[JLSBMF 16]

here is the consular / interview review

So my fiancee went back for his second interview today and was approved without AP - he said that he was there for over 3 hours and that everything moved very slow. His documents were checked , he was finger printed and the consular reviewed all our proof and asked the following questions - one about our age difference not being the norm in the middle eastern culture? about how his family felt about our engagement? had I met his family ? where I lived ? how we met? how many times I had been married before? where I worked? the dates of my first visit and my last visit, when he proposed and my mothers name? he answered all easily.
She said congratulations you are approved and your passport will be ready next week. He said he was really getting fustrated with everything going so slow and felt like they purposely drag it out.
Either way we are both super excited and so happy he does not have AP

thank you lord again

[ModynMiro 1]

Hi Ladies

He was approved and without AP -

we are thrilled - excited - numb

I cannot believe after one year of this journey

and two years after we met today he is actually going to

be here with me - no more goodbyes - no more airport scenes

have faith you days will come

Congrats. It always good to hear some good news,Masha'allah.