i am 40 years older than my finance

[gjrunner 0]

By the letter of the law no. But in Nigerian culture it is very important that a man produce children and you are beyond child bearing age. Have you met his parents and siblings during your trips or have you just stayed in hotels.

yes I have done both..meet his family and stayed on hotel but went to the parents house many times..and would it be easier if I married him in Nigeria and then get the k-3 visa?

Edited September 3, 2013 by gjrunner

[gjrunner 0]

Go back there and get married then file for cr1. That's your best and only chance. Two red flags on your shoulders

- The country from wich the beneficiary is from!

-The HUGE gap of age between you.

File for cr1 and frontload your package with tonnes of evidence and hopefully that might work out for both of you.

Good luck

Thank you for the advice.... I was thinking that too....get married there in nigeria

[Penguin_ie 5,995]

The K3 is obsolete but the CR-1 spousal visa would be better.

Plus points if you have a wedding with both his and your family present- take pics and submit them with the petition. Do you have kids? If so, them being present would be useful.

[gjrunner 0]

It really isn't about your age difference but you showing a bonafide relationship.

1. You said you visited 3 times. Over how long a period?
2. You meet how long ago?
3. Your 3 visits were how long in duration?
4. You meet his family and friends and have their support and Blessing?

Honestly your chances are so much greater for a possible approval if you marry like mentioned above. No not a guarantee but it shows you are committed towards each other. Sometimes with much older younger a K1 couple shows the CO that they aren't sure (may not be the case but heck why not marry).

Great you love each other and all that but the CO at embassy doesn't know you. If I was a CO and a 40 years older woman's profile showed up on my desk with engaged I would wonder why the hold up why not just get married. Especially if you have known each other over sometime.

known him 4 years, yes have family blessings, and visited for 6 days each time I visited cos I work and have to be back on my job.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

This is something I've always wondered.

Which one is viewed more favorably, many short visits or few longer visits? Or it doesn't matter?

[Peter_Pan 661]

Well, you could always move to Nigeria, he is the male, he should be able to support you.

Do that and see how true his love is once he finds out he will never set foot in the US.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

This is something I've always wondered.

Which one is viewed more favorably, many short visits or few longer visits? Or it doesn't matter?

With Nigeria family time. You could come and stay for a month in a hotel in Lagos far from the village and not show you have met cultural norms, spending a week in the village speak more of bonefide.

[El&Ken 2]

I am 40 years older than my finance...he is from nigiera..will this stop him from getting a k-1 visa? I have been to visit him in Nigeria 3 times. WE are so much in love.

My fiance and I are 35 years apart and age is NOT an issue. Go brave and confident and all will be okay.

[godlove 29]

Its very obvious this guy is only with you because he wants to use you to get over here so so desperate and its a shame. My only advice to you is to run for your life, you can do better because when he gets over here, he will endure for maybe 2 or 3 years and once he gets his green card or becomes a citizen he will disappear and marry someone his age. Nigeria men are not stupid and no reasonable Nigerian man who wants to be with a woman who is 40 years older than him, a woman that can't give him children only if he wants something from that woman. iF your the man and his the woman maybe ya. The CO will know its for immigration purpose only and deny it but you never know, miracles do happen so goodluck.

[Peter_Pan 661]

My fiance and I are 35 years apart and age is NOT an issue. Go brave and confident and all will be okay.

Did you get the visa?

[El&Ken 2]

Did you get the visa?

My interview is on the 18th and after seeing a girl who I work with get approved -- she is 20 and her fiance is 50 I really have been feeling more confident. Age is just a number and as long as you are genuine and have sufficient evidence I do believe that everything will roll over smoothly.

[Peter_Pan 661]

My interview is on the 18th and after seeing a girl who I work with get approved -- she is 20 and her fiance is 50 I really have been feeling more confident. Age is just a number and as long as you are genuine and have sufficient evidence I do believe that everything will roll over smoothly.

Young woman/old man is almost never a problem.

The opposite is almost always a problem, especially if the difference is really big, if she is past her child bearing years and if the beneficiary is from a third world county (in this type of relationship, it is usually Nigeria/other black African countries and the poor Arab countries, like Morocco, Egypt +Turkey).

[bigdog 376]

Try it and keep everyone posted.

[mr smith 0]

Just follow makebalayesarr's advice.

There is no written rule in a book but that is like a camel passing through the eye of a needle (my opinion)

All the best though and keep us posted.

[Nurseling 34]

Wow. This is a difficult dilemma you face. And each and every input you have received from people here is to be taken in to consideration. While I feel you are at a cross road right now and really don't know what to do I feel you do need to consider the possibility of a denial. If by chance you are approved you also need to consider the possibility that this guy will only stay as long as his green card has not been issued because once that happens it is possible he will leave you and find someone his own age. He is young has no children he probably will want some one day in the future. Not to be disrespectful to his parents but their acceptance of you maybe based on the fact that you can get him a green card. I doubt they would want their child to never produce children in the future. Nigerian culture is different. There have been some instances when a man Marry's a woman his own age and for many years try's to produce and has not been successful . Instantly in the eyes of the family she is barren even before they work out if the problem may be from the mans side as to why they aren't producing. Some parents have been known to go to the house pack the girls cloths and dash her out. Then find him another wife that can produce or find him a second wife. If your man is Muslim this may likely be their intentions in the future. Hate to be the bearer of bad news but you do have to think carefully before you go ahead with this. Take this advice from a female nigerian who knows what nigerian culture is like. I suggest you take the advice someone gave you earlier and tell him you will move to Nigeria instead and see if he try's to convince you not to do that or her runs away a short while after you insist your moving. This will give you the answer you seek. I truely hope it works out for you and I hope he is genuine.