France/America couples

[Joy&Josh 0]

Congrats, Joy!!

When is your entry date?

Oops, I just meant that we received our NOA2. I have no idea when I will get my visa and move to the US yet. Shouldn't be too long though...

What town? I live in WI too and sometimes have to travel near Fond du Lac for work. Not too much happens there though....

Well, we used to live in Brodhead (south of Madison) but now my fiancé moved to Kiel, near Fond du Lac, and I don't like that area too much. I think I prefer the south of Wisconsin.

Where do you live ?

[kimandfred 0]

I know where Brodhead is, I had to drive through it last weekend to go to a cheese festival (which was boring...). We live in Fort Atkinson, (another boring town) which is about 40 minutes east of Madison. We would both like to live in a larger city, Fred is having a bit of trouble adjusting to small towns cause he lived very close to Paris, and I'm originally from a larger town near Cleveland, Ohio, where you didn't have to drive through farm land to get from one town to the next.

[woostine 0]

Bonjour!!

I'm a newbie and I need your help! Congratulations to all of you who got married and are now able to live with their "imported" husband/wife

My boyfriend is American and we are not planning on getting married. So I just want to know your experience before you decided to get married. how did you manage to stay together? Did anyone come with a tourist visa?

I'm from France and could apply for a longer tourist visa (6 months) but the embassy might think it's suspicious especially because I've just spent 9 months in the US.

What did you guys do before applying for a K1 visa?

[Cecile and Bryan 0]

Welcome woostine

Here is our story, I hope it will help you.

I met my now husband three years ago, while I was a student in the USA (J1 visa, I was there for 4 months). We spent a month and a half together, until I had to go back to France. We started thinking of how we could be together. I was still in college at that time and had to do an internship the next year. I tried to find an internship in the USA, but after 3 months of nothing but negative answers because it would mean too much paperwork for the companies, I forgot the idea and did my internship in France. Then I spent a month (my only vacation time) in the US with him, right after my internship. I then came back to France for my last year at the university, did a new internship, was hired by the company and started working for them (still in France). My boyfriend came for a month and a half in France, he had to quit his job in order to do that. I tried to find a VIE (volontariat international en entreprise), I found one on the other side of the USA, but while trying to make a decision, we realized that after that VIE, we would still be at the same point: trying to figure out how to be together. So I said No to the company, and we decided to apply for a K1 visa to get married.

So, in short:

- met in 2005, spent a month and a half together

- 7 months apart

- 1 month together in 2006

- 13 months apart

- 1 month and a half together in 2007

- 8 months apart (waiting for k1 visa)

- and now together forever

it wasn't always easy to be apart, we even broke up in 2007 for a few months, but then realized that we really wanted to be together. I don't have any advices to give you, it depends on the individual. everybody deals with emotions differently.

Good luck.

Edited October 1, 2008 by Cecile and Bryan

[Koakland 0]

Hello Woostine,

I know it can be hard. My friends and family are amazed that my fiance and I have stayed together for 3 years. It takes a lot of work and patience but for some people it can work. My fiance and I met in 2005. He was here on foreign exchange master's internship (J1 visa). He was supposed to go back to France for the end of the summer and then come back to the US in the fall for a 3 year Phd program but he had some immigration issues (I won't get into that). I was really upset because I thought we'd break up but we decided to try to make things work long distance. We take turns visiting each other every 4-6 months. (It takes up all my vacation time and I know that we both want to travel to different countries besides the US and France. someday...) We communicate every day by either email, gchat, phone calls or text msgs. We have a phone date every Sunday (morning for me, evening for him). I think the one thing that helped us stay together is reassurance, understanding and flexibility. Reassurance that we love each other and are still committed to each other and understanding and flexibility regarding time differences and schedules. He does a better job of all of that than I do.

We decided to go the K1 route because it seemed like the only viable option for us to be together in the same place long-term. After 3 years we both got tired of being apart most of the time. And really marriage was just the next step in our relationship. We haven't gotten married yet. I'm in the CSC K1 waiting hell but I can't wait for him to be here. We started talking about marriage about in spring of 2007. We just want to be together.

So similar to what Cecile & Bryan said, everyone is different. Everyone deals with their emotions differently. Best of luck with your decisions. Let me know if you have any other questions.

Edited October 1, 2008 by Koakland

[kimandfred 0]

Hello Wootstine,

It's hard, but definitely not impossible. Our story started over 10 years ago. We met when Fred came to the US to be an exchange student. We had a class together and became friends and I quickly developed a huge crush on him, but never said a word. He had to go home that summer, but we kept in touch through the years just through email and an occasional snail-mail letter. Then, in the summer of 2006 we got to talking via email about how unhappy we were with our current relationships and how we felt they weren't going anywhere. A few months later (after we ended our respective relationships) we decided to meet each other again for the first time in over 8 years in New York City and from then we knew we had to be together and we had to figure out how to do it. He came to WI to visit me again in Jan. 2007 and from there we decided that we wanted to get married and began our research into immigration. During the 8-month wait for our K-1, we were able to visit each other every 7-10 weeks (thank goodness you have 5 weeks of vacation in France, cause we sure don't!!!!!) and we emailed, talked on skype, called each other every single day. I don't know what we would have done without skype, it really helped make this work. However, at one point, I was really considering abandoning the K-1 and moving to France, but the more I thought about it, we decided to continue the K-1 since we were already 4 months into it.

I guess we just knew for sure that we wanted to be together and have made it work no matter what. Everyone is different, but if you really love each other, then you can make anything work.

[Ferline 0]

Hi everyone..

I'm also new here..even if I've been reading your posts for a month now! I'm the frenchy in the couple..I am in the same case as you Woostine, kinda wondering if we should get married or wait and find another solutions ( if there is any) for us to be together..

We met on June 30 2007 in NY in a bar and since then we have been inseparable!After 6 months, we kind of knew where we wanted this relationship to go but the visa immigration ( as always!) came in between. I was doing an internship (J1 visa) for 1 year and extended 6 months to stay with him. My boss wanted to do all the paperwork for me to get a working visa but I said no. I know you guys may think I'm crazy. My boyfriend and I talked about it over and over and he came to the conclusion that I was miserable at my job which was absolutely true and that we'll be able to find a way to be together..I love him so much for that. Now I'm back in France- it's been a month already and I'm still miserable without him but he is coming for 2 weeks vacation in exactly 3 days and I can't be happier..however we still have no clue how we're going to be together again and forever..

I've been looking into H1B, H3, L1 visas...but I'm not quite sure if I qualified for the L1 and the 2 other visas are just so difficult to get..Regarding the F1, I don't have the money to go back to school. So we both mentioned getting married- we're calling the B plan..We want to get married but we were more thinking of 2-3 years from now..we both know that we'll finish our life together...

When I read all your stories, I'm happy to see that LDR work..I have so many people that keep telling me that our relationship isn't going to work that it's really helpful to find that kind of forum. As my boyfriend says "this is true love, do you think this happen everyday?"...ok this is from a movie- the Princess Bride- but I think this kind of a good sum-up.

Now I have a couple of questions...thanks for the people that'll take the time to answer them..

- For those who got the K1 visa and then got married without a wedding reception, just a small civil wedding, did the immigration ask you why you didn't plan a "big" wedding? were they more suspicious?

- How did you announce to your parents that you're going to spend the rest of your life in the US? I'm having some issues to deal with my parents about that..even if they know that I have a boyfriend in the US..and my mum told some people that he might the love of my life but it's still hurting her a lot..so I just wanted to have some stories re the relationship with the parents of the K1 person..

Thank you and sorry for the big post I just wrote--

Ferline who is dying to be on October 4th to see him

Edited October 1, 2008 by Ferline

[kimandfred 0]

Hello Ferline,

Welcome.

To answer your questions, first, about the wedding, it wasn't an issue for us. We did the K-1 fiancé visa route, so when my fiancé finally came with the visa, we weren't married yet, so this didn't come up. We had a small civil wedding about 3 weeks after his arrival and sent out AOS papers and he was approved for his green card 7 months later with no interview, so in our case, immigration didn't care that we got married at the court house. It really shouldn't be an issue, not everyone dreams of a huge wedding with 200 guests and a big white dress.

My husband told his parents right away of his intentions to move to the US and while they said that they would miss him tremendously, they were very supportive and told him that his happiness was the most important thing. They were sad to see him leave, and he still misses them and France very much, but they really encouraged him to do what he needed to be happy. They are really great, and I couldn't have asked for better in-laws. However, at one point during the process, the waiting was getting too much and we were thinking of having me come and move to France and when I told my parents, to put it nicely, they were the complete opposite and were completely unsupportive and thought that they would never see me again if I moved there. (I should note that I hardly see them anyway, I live in WI and they live in OH and are used to living far from me.) So, it really depends on your relationship with your parents. I don't have a very good one with mine, so they just didn't understand where I was coming from and bascially had a fit, but my husband has a very good relationship with his, and they were very supportive.

[lucie&damon 0]

Bonjour!!

I'm a newbie and I need your help! Congratulations to all of you who got married and are now able to live with their "imported" husband/wife

My boyfriend is American and we are not planning on getting married. So I just want to know your experience before you decided to get married. how did you manage to stay together? Did anyone come with a tourist visa?

I'm from France and could apply for a longer tourist visa (6 months) but the embassy might think it's suspicious especially because I've just spent 9 months in the US.

What did you guys do before applying for a K1 visa?

Hi Woostine!

I actually did use the 6 months tourist visa! We wanted to know what it's like to live together before taking such an important decision! it helped a lot those 6 months! and it went perfectly. It gave us a chance to see what kind of everyday life we both have, and what we like to do etc.

after those 6 months we were 100% certain we wanted to get married!

[woostine 0]

I actually did use the 6 months tourist visa! We wanted to know what it's like to live together before taking such an important decision! it helped a lot those 6 months! and it went perfectly. It gave us a chance to see what kind of everyday life we both have, and what we like to do etc.

after those 6 months we were 100% certain we wanted to get married!

Hi! That's exactly what we want to do! I don't know if we'll get married though but we do want to take our time.

I've just made an appointment with the embassy and your experience would be very helpful but maybe we should talk by pm? I don't want to be off topic ;p

Thanks to all of you for sharing, I feel a lot better!

Ferline, I have the same problem with my family. Sometimes I'm really excited to be with my boyfriend and sometimes I just want to stay home because I know my parents will be heartbroken even if they want the best for me.

[frenchie 0]

I don't know why, but I've been thrilled to meet other French/American couples here on VJ. I know there's a French-speaking thread here but lots of countries speak French... I'm curious to meet other couples where the foreign fiance(e) is in or came from France.

For the French/American couples here, where in France does/did the Frenchie live? Does the USC speak French, and if not, is (s)he learning? My fiance lives in Rambouillet. I managed to learn some French during his last visit but without having him pointing to things and being able to watch his mouth I'm just clueless... guess I'll have to wait til he's here again to learn. Written French is similar to Italian at times so I can figure some of it out. But spoken, hoo boy... I joke with my fiance a lot that the letter R needs to be obliterated from the French alphabet because I can't figure out how on earth to pronounce it!

Hello... My husband is American and I am French (from Marseilles) living in Florida. We met in Massachusetts and got married there. It is funny how American always make a comment about the letter "R". My husband always copies me everytime I talk with my sisters (we always talk french to each other). He speaks currently portugueuse (which he learned at work) and I know that thanks to that, he memorizes french worlds better.

[Cécy 44]

Woostine:

As mentionned above evereyone has its own experience.

I met my husband in the summer of 04' while visiting my godparents (visa waiver program). We barely spend time with each other, but enough to start dating and fall in love. I had to go back to France at the end of my vacation though.

Did't see each other for 7 months, but we email, mailed and called each other twice a week. We learned so much more about each other that way. We were already in love and with a complete trust in each other.

I came back in March 05 for an internship (J1 visa). I had a 4 months internship to do for my degree and I made sure to have it in his area so we could be together and we moved in together for the 5 months I was there.

Went back to France in August and came back for a two week-vacation in December.

Left again, not sure for how long.

I was completely miserable without him, so I decided to come back when came June, bought a plane ticket for July and came back with a B2 visa I had since 2000. Moved back together.

My goal was to find a job, interview and then go back to France to obtain the visa. Well, it didn't work out. I had lots of job offers, however obtaining a work permit was much, much, much harder than we had imagined.

After 5 months, I renewed my B2 (you can do that once). We were under pressure to get married by our families but we were not ready.

More job search. More no because of work permit.

The last no was in June 07, I had less than 2 months left in the USA and neither one of us could stand the thought of being apart again. So we just decided to get married. Back in March we had considered the K1, but then realised that since I was in the country legally, we could easily just get married and apply for AOS. That's what we did in July at the courthouse.

I then got a work permit within 3 months and started working.

I received the Green Card a year after in July 08.

And we are having our wedding ceremony with both families this November.

My advice: if you have the option to come with a J1 do it, that's one of the best choices you have. The other choice is a tourism visa, but it's not recommended to do that if you know you want to get married while in the US and apply for AOS following it.

Sadly there are very few choices for people who love each other.

After months of pondering what we were going to do, we came to the decision that getting married and applying for the green card was our best option. I've never regretted that choice.

Ferline

As far as family is concerned, well I didn't really have a talk with them since I didn't know we would get married when I came back. But they are happy for me as long as I'm happy. They'll finally meet my husband in less than a month.

There is no suspicion whatsoever when you do a courthouse wedding after the K1. Immigration knows that there is only a short window of time to plan and have the wedding once the visa is approve and I believe they know that most people do a simple courthouse ceremony. Many people plan a bigger family wedding later on and if that's your case, bring proof of that to your interview.

We had a courthouse wedding and I was here under a B2. We had family with us and it was a small wedding but not just 2 witnesses and us either. I had a white dress, a bouquet and my brother as a witness. I was never even asked questions whether we would have a big wedding after that or not. I believe it helps that you have friends and family with you, and pictures that show that you celebrate it, but it's not essential.

Edited October 12, 2008 by Cécy

[Pam&Josh 0]

Hi everybody!

I received my "livret de famille" a couple of days ago!

It only took 3 weeks through the consulate of Chicago. I though it would be longer, but I did the publication des bans.It might have helped?

Anyways, I wanted to thanks the ones who explained the process through that forum!

It helped me a lot!

[Lili 3]

Hi everybody!

I received my "livret de famille" a couple of days ago!

It only took 3 weeks through the consulate of Chicago. I though it would be longer, but I did the publication des bans.It might have helped?

Anyways, I wanted to thanks the ones who explained the process through that forum!

It helped me a lot!

Congrats and it definitely helped to do the publication des bans!

I didn't and it took me 5 months.

Double check to make sure they didn't misspell anything.

[Pam&Josh 0]

Yeah! I checked, and everything looks fine!

I did remenber that you had a mistake on a name, so I did check mine right away!