not etting married and returning to phils. in k1 visa with my u.s citizen baby

[Shiobhan 235]

Many mothers have left kids or fathers to stay/live

in the US most declaring (*for a better life*) so

many have been molested mistreated, abused but not

much is told about that, a child deserve to know &

love both parent...no matter what, cant you ask for

an infopass, go in explain the situation you are

sorting out about the child & ask for an extension to

do so which will allow you to visit the child in the

future if he ends up with custody.

you want to do things the right way so further down

the line you don't find obstacles ask if he would want

the child all summers and Christmas or can you, and sign

to an agreement, even on who would purchase tickets to

facilitate this as I hardly think he'll get child

support from you in the philipines good luck

[aaron2020 11,651]

No one here knows what the heck is going on. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD.

OP is in a bind and she came here for help. She is not in a good place. Focus on getting her help to protect herself.

Stop with the useless love of a father, mother, better in US, etc. None of this is our business.

The only thing that is certain is that the mother is entitled to get legal help to resolve her situation.

[ChrisJean 1]

I am in no way an expert on the law. I just have a question. How would it be kidnapping if the child was born in the Philippines and only came to the U.S. because the mother obtained a K-1 visa. The child had no right to come here on it's own even though the father is a U.S. citizen. Am I seeing this situation correctly? I don't encourage people to break the law. I just know what I would do in this situation.

[aaron2020 11,651]

I am in no way an expert on the law. I just have a question. How would it be kidnapping if the child was born in the Philippines and only came to the U.S. because the mother obtained a K-1 visa. The child had no right to come here on it's own even though the father is a U.S. citizen. Am I seeing this situation correctly? I don't encourage people to break the law. I just know what I would do in this situation.

You are not seeing the situation correctly.

The child is a US citizen. The child is in the US. Only US laws applies. Philippines laws are irrelevant.

The child has every right to come here on his own, he's a US citizen. Furthermore, both parents consented for the child to move to the US when mom entered on the K-1 visa.

Under US laws, a minor child must have the consent of both parents to leave the US. A US passport is not sufficient.

Even if the child could leave the US, the mother could be charged with international parental kidnapping for taking the child out of the US without the father's consent.

Edited August 30, 2013 by aaron2020

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Many mothers have left kids or fathers to stay/live

in the US most declaring (*for a better life*) so

many have been molested mistreated, abused but not

much is told about that, a child deserve to know &

love both parent...no matter what, cant you ask for

an infopass, go in explain the situation you are

sorting out about the child & ask for an extension to

do so which will allow you to visit the child in the

future if he ends up with custody.

you want to do things the right way so further down

the line you don't find obstacles ask if he would want

the child all summers and Christmas or can you, and sign

to an agreement, even on who would purchase tickets to

facilitate this as I hardly think he'll get child

support from you in the philipines good luck

Do you have data to support your position?

http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/feminist-lies-feminism/study-91-of-mothers-abuse-children-fathers-7/

But I do like your advice to do things legitimately.

[rjtaylor12 2]

The U.S. has a very good relationship with phils law enforcement....consider very carefully what you are thinking about, because it is a very SERIOUS crime! You will go to prison if caught and not for a short stay. Aside from being seriously illegal this action is immoral and a great disservice to your child. Will you really deny your daughter, her father?? Please think carefully! Actually please reconsider and don't do it. For sure you should seek legal advice.

Edited August 30, 2013 by rjtaylor12

[verysadguy 170]

Right shmight.

The child has a right to know his/her parents whether father or mother, but that doesn't mean that either one is "fit" to parent. My ex was loving and safe for an infant, but she is a nightmare psychologically to the growth and development of my daughter. That is why the child is with me and the mother only has supervised visits.

This OP states the father may not have the skills and resources to care for the child. Visitation is likely to be minimal, too.

However, the OP wants to return to her home country, but cannot legally do so without the father's permission. Legally then she cannot take the USC child regardless of passport, and I don't recall any discussion of passports here only citizenship. I blocked my child's ability to be issued a passport to get some protection against abduction, but nothing is stopping this mother from heading to Mexico and then to the PI's. Then it depends on whether or not the father decides to pursue any actions. Then it follows whether or not law enforcement has resources and desire to pursue.

Tough situation. Interestingly this mother hasn't mentioned much about money, mostly just the love and bond with her child.

My ex has left her child high and dry to have an illicit affair with a man from her religious relief organization and rarely communicates with her child especially after the money flow ceased.

"Actions speak louder than words"

Bottom line for this mother is taking her child without consent is going to land her in a lot of hot water. Staying in the USA is going to be very challenging and her only hope might be to sue for child support if she stays since it apears they aren't marrying.

[William33 110]

So, it's okay to deny a mother's love?

Why should you want to deny this child the love and care of a mother?

How is life with a US father who doesn't know how to care for the child when there is a loving mother?

Why do you assume that life for the child would be better in the US

Responding as a VJ member and not a Moderator.

What an obtuse perspective. Are we led to believe that a father cannot be a competent primary parent? I will challenge this outlook with impunity.

A man or woman with skills to educate, nurture and care for a child are on an equal plane. This is not only scientifically proven, but a reality in common sense.

[Shiobhan 235]

For those who quoted me...I am just trying to alert

OP about the civil ways to do things without it affecting

her later No I have no stats but have read and heard about

children who was petitioned for and mom or so sent them for

a better life which turned out bad ,even died at the hands

of step-parents (Canada had 2 high-profile cases of such) I

don't think its the norm but it happens, so each individual

facing such situation should think hard & get proper agreements

in place. No, OP did not ask for who love the child most or

whatever, but she needs to know even though she raised the child

alone so far she signed certain documents so taking the child out

sneakingly is not in her or the childs best interest.

[Bugs 455]

Here is my take.

We don't know the full situation. Is the father refusing to marry her, which essentially is asking her to leave? If so, this isn't any different than what some here are accusing the mother is doing in taking the child with her. He is essentially taking her child away from her in not marrying her and making her go back as a result.

If the mother is the one refusing to marry, then I think she is at fault for doing so and wanting to leave the father and taking the baby.

So I think it depends on the story behind this failed marriage.

In no case, however, do I suggest anyone break any laws here. The best she should do is get some legal support. A solution will likely be found in court depending on who is breaking the promise to marry here, as it is obvious both cannot share custody.

Edited August 31, 2013 by Leon & Mylen

[Ontarkie 14,304]

~~~~Many post removed for back and forth bickering, One Post removed is returned without the quote. -- The Op came here for advice not to be accused of parental kidnapping or given grief about wanting to leave. If you cannot help do not reply.~~~~

The OP had a kid and willingly came to the US to marry the kid's father. Before the OP came to the US, the OP raised the child by herself. The dad did not live with them. The OP is now not going to marry the OP, and has been in the US for a few months at most and wishes to leave. Therefore the father has been living with the child for just a few months. The OP understandably wants to just rewind a few months and go back to the way things were. Because she came to the US to try to make things right, and came for just a few months, now she is faced with losing her child or live in the US as an illegal immigrant.

It's a bad situation all around, because the OP has no right to live in the US because they are not marrying and filing AOS. For this reason I would implore anyone with a kid to marry and file a spousal visa, which gives the foreigner the right to live in the US on entry.

Mothers and fathers both can raise a child just fine, but all the hurt men out there are coming in and declaring their opinion that the mom should just leave the US and leave the kid with dad, who has known the kid just a few months. Unbelievable!

OP: please get a lawyer and figure out how to best go forward. I hope you can come to a solution with the father.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

i just landed in american soil last july in k1 visa with my 2year old (us citizen) baby..my baby is a dual citizen, my fiance is her biological father..my concern is that we're not getting married and i want to return back home in philippines before the 90 day expires..can i bring with me my daughter without her father's consent?..in the airport do i need other papers?..im afraid yhey wont let my baby go with me..pls anyone knew any case about mine?

You can return, his child cannot without permission from the court. It is that simple. You have no way to stay here if he isn't willing to marry you and adjust your status.

You can TRY and remove the child without permission (I don't suggest this as it's illegal) but even if you did succeed, you COULD be charged with parental abduction and be arrested and jailed, and that's not good for you or the child.

I suggest you see an attorney and ask for assistance in getting a custody order entered.

As someone else stated, this is exactly why if a dual citizen child is involved it should be a spousal visa all the way.

[InHisTime 110]

i just landed in american soil last july in k1 visa with my 2year old (us citizen) baby..my baby is a dual citizen, my fiance is her biological father..my concern is that we're not getting married and i want to return back home in philippines before the 90 day expires..can i bring with me my daughter without her father's consent?..in the airport do i need other papers?..im afraid yhey wont let my baby go with me..pls anyone knew any case about mine?

Hello Sis, I hope by now you already have consulted a family lawyer / court in your area and that you have figured out what is best for you and your daughter. Fight your daughter's legal custody and bring her back home to the Philippines. Do not ever leave her with the father as you said he is an abusive one. Besides it is very hard, who is going to take care of the child everyday ? unless he could afford to hire a baby sitter. I'm sure he works, so no way he could give quality time with child. The child needs you tender love and care, and the way I feel you are a good mom. In fact, you agreed to come to the US and bring your daughter so that you all could be as one family. I respect if both of you don't want to marry anymore, it's all your decision. And that is admirable one. Don't ever settle for less just to get Green Card. It's going to haunt you and sure you will regret much later. There should be harmony, love, peace and understaning. It's not about living in America, it's the quality of relationship so that we all can live happily. While you still can, you are right in your decision to come home with your daughter before your 90 days expiration. Don't over stay as you will be out of status and such make you an illegal alien. Just get a legal custody, so you won't encounter any trouble. You can raise your child very well in the Philippines. Important she will grow in an environment full of love. It's not going to be healthy environment for you and child, if you continue to live in a toxic life with your abusive partner.

If the father is really responsible and caring for his daughter, I think he has to make an extra effort, he can visit your daughter in the Philippines or maybe voluntarily give child support without any demand from you --that if he is really has a good heart and truly loves his child. But never expect anything from him, just work hard and you can manage to give quality life with your daughter. We have a gracious God and He will never leave you alone. You will not be alone.... it happened to plenty of single mom, and they are fine and live a comfortable and life. Just learned your lessons and keep a positive future.

I wish you well and hope you leave the US with your daughter. I feel your pain, it's not going to be easy, but in time you will be over. God loves you and continue to pray for His mercy. Good luck and take care always of your beautiful child -- it's a great blessing, and not everyone is blessed to have one. --- InHisTime

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Hello Sis, I hope by now you already have consulted a family lawyer / court in your area and that you have figured out what is best for you and your daughter. Fight your daughter's legal custody and bring her back home to the Philippines. Do not ever leave her with the father as you said he is an abusive one. Besides it is very hard, who is going to take care of the child everyday ? unless he could afford to hire a baby sitter. I'm sure he works, so no way he could give quality time with child. The child needs you tender love and care, and the way I feel you are a good mom. In fact, you agreed to come to the US and bring your daughter so that you all could be as one family. I respect if both of you don't want to marry anymore, it's all your decision. And that is admirable one. Don't ever settle for less just to get Green Card. It's going to haunt you and sure you will regret much later. There should be harmony, love, peace and understaning. It's not about living in America, it's the quality of relationship so that we all can live happily. While you still can, you are right in your decision to come home with your daughter before your 90 days expiration. Don't over stay as you will be out of status and such make you an illegal alien. Just get a legal custody, so you won't encounter any trouble. You can raise your child very well in the Philippines. Important she will grow in an environment full of love. It's not going to be healthy environment for you and child, if you continue to live in a toxic life with your abusive partner.

If the father is really responsible and caring for his daughter, I think he has to make an extra effort, he can visit your daughter in the Philippines or maybe voluntarily give child support without any demand from you --that if he is really has a good heart and truly loves his child. But never expect anything from him, just work hard and you can manage to give quality life with your daughter. We have a gracious God and He will never leave you alone. You will not be alone.... it happened to plenty of single mom, and they are fine and live a comfortable and life. Just learned your lessons and keep a positive future.

I wish you well and hope you leave the US with your daughter. I feel your pain, it's not going to be easy, but in time you will be over. God loves you and continue to pray for His mercy. Good luck and take care always of your beautiful child -- it's a great blessing, and not everyone is blessed to have one. --- InHisTime

OP never said her Fiance was abusive.

[Jacque67 7,328]

OP never said her Fiance was abusive.

See post 13.