Fiancé forgot he was married before!

[callmekay 19]

Light bulb isn't = to life. you need to change your way of thinking.

I never stated that it was. However the concept is very similar. Just because one thing went array I'm going to through a relationship down the drain? That's like me having one bad day gonna go off myself and wait to be reincarnated.

Just like everyone on Vj my fiancé and I have built a relationship together and we are working to overcome this obstacle together. Once that's done I can only hope it brings our relationship stronger.

So no. I don't have to chane my way of thinking. But thank you for your comment.

[BatonRouge Bill 2]

Hang in there Kay, try to find out what needs to happen, and just do it, you've come a long way. You seem committed and with that you will find a way. Commitment is the foundation of any good relationship.

[callmekay 19]

Hang in there Kay, try to find out what needs to happen, and just do it, you've come a long way. You seem committed and with that you will find a way. Commitment is the foundation of any good relationship.

After the initial shock wore off yea. I'm hanging.

Just gotta see now.

[jan22 3,056]

Sorry if I missed this -- skimmed other posts and may have. You mentioned the marriage was 18 years ago...how recent was the divorce? The reason I'm asking is that it might factor into the discussion with USCIS and/or the visa officer it it, too was very soon after the divorce. If, however, it was much more recent, then they are more likely to think he was trying to conceal and perhaps only "came clean" because of his former wife's Facebook post. I don't know how often/how deeply USCIS or Embassy officers use Facebook to research cases, but I have been told they do so.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out for you.

[clairegie 265]

Well, on his interview, I guess he can say that he didn't understand what was being asked of him and since he has been divorced a long time ago, he thought his current status was single (this was one of his answers to you, according to your earlier posts anyway; plus the language barrier). Idk, since he IS free to marry and is actually divorced, its just amending the papers and providing proof. Who knows how long this would extend the process, at least you didn't stick to the "single" status which would REALLY qualify as lying. Its the consulates business to make sure he is free to marry, other than that, you finding out his divorce this late into the relationship is between you and him alone. Best to talk about a better way of explaining the error than his "I forgot" reason. If I were you, I would also write a letter saying you are aware he is divorced. Would be kinda odd if he showed up to the interview with divorce papers. Interviewer might question if you are aware that he is amending his civil status on the app.

Edited September 2, 2013 by iammrsregi

[Boiler 45,541]

She is aware he is divorced now, she was not previously.

[callmekay 19]

Well, on his interview, I guess he can say that he didn't understand what was being asked of him and since he has been divorced a long time ago, he thought his current status was single (this was one of his answers to you, according to your earlier posts anyway; plus the language barrier). Idk, since he IS free to marry and is actually divorced, its just amending the papers and providing proof. Who knows how long this would extend the process, at least you didn't stick to the "single" status which would REALLY qualify as lying. Its the consulates business to make sure he is free to marry, other than that, you finding out his divorce this late into the relationship is between you and him alone. Best to talk about a better way of explaining the error than his "I forgot" reason. If I were you, I would also write a letter saying you are aware he is divorced. Would be kinda odd if he showed up to the interview with divorce papers. Interviewer might question if you are aware that he is amending his civil status on the app.

That's what the lawyer advised us to do. We each write a letter explaining how it came about that it was no previously mentioned.

[callmekay 19]

Sorry if I missed this -- skimmed other posts and may have. You mentioned the marriage was 18 years ago...how recent was the divorce? The reason I'm asking is that it might factor into the discussion with USCIS and/or the visa officer it it, too was very soon after the divorce. If, however, it was much more recent, then they are more likely to think he was trying to conceal and perhaps only "came clean" because of his former wife's Facebook post. I don't know how often/how deeply USCIS or Embassy officers use Facebook to research cases, but I have been told they do so.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out for you.

the marriage and divorce happened from what he explained to me approximately 18 months ago.

my father in law also clarified with me about the marriage too.

they were in love, they signed the marriage certificate and he followed her to Denmark. Was there for about 4 or so months, didn't like it and he said they weren't getting along so he came back to Vietnam.

She wanted to marry later on and when that time came she sent the divorce papers to him.

Exactly when this was done I have no idea.

Thank you Jan22. I'm finger crossed hoping for the best too.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

According to my fiancé when I inquired about his previous relationships it was only the one with his baby momma. He says he didn't recall that marriage because there was no celebration. They only signed the paperwork. Trust me, I've been giving him hell about this already. I'm born and raised in America so when we were filing the paperwork, I asked him about previous marriage. I'm gonna give him benefit of the doubt that he assumed I asked about most recent relationship?! I have no idea. But that's his explanation to me.

So that's his story and he's sticking to it? I, for one, don't believe him for a second. I don't believe ANYONE could forget a marriage, ceremony or not. He doesn't remember marrying his babies momma?? I guess the old adage is true: There's a sucker born every minute.....is true.

Sorry, but you are crazy if you trust this guy. And I don't mean that in a mean or derogatory way. I say it with all the kindness and love in my heart.

By the way, I have a bridge for sale in Brooklyn....interested??? lol

Aloha Ke Akua

[David & Diana R 1,005]

He has his daughter because at the time he and his baby momma split he had better means of taking care of her. And the divorce was not with the baby momma but someone before her. So when I met him he told me about the baby momma only and I was under the assumption she was the only one he was serious.

And yes I too asked why he kept the baby but he explained it.

I see, so it's all YOUR fault. You should have asked him all possible questions????

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Thank you. What's funny though is there are plenty of people who forget their anniversaries and even birthdays. Not necessarily the same thing but along the lines of it some similarity

If there were other instances he "forgot" then I would definitely have to rethink this union. But this is the only thing that's cause this much of a fuss between us. I can't change the past either so now we are just gonna try to make the most of it.

Oh come on now...forgetting your anniversary date and forgetting that you have ever been married are comparing apples to oranges.....give me a break!? I think I just threw up a little.

[callmekay 19]

Oh come on now...forgetting your anniversary date and forgetting that you have ever been married are comparing apples to oranges.....give me a break!? I think I just threw up a little.

Thank you for your comments and non-advice. But I've already decided what to do.

Clearly you didn't take your time to read through it. My fiancé was NEVER married to his baby momma. You may want to re-read to get the facts straight before you start bashing me for my actions.

[Harsh_77 718]

Thank you for your comments and non-advice. But I've already decided what to do.

Clearly you didn't take your time to read through it. My fiancé was NEVER married to his baby momma. You may want to re-read to get the facts straight before you start bashing me for my actions.

The whole thing is really crazy… I have been on VJ for long time and never came across anything like this.

He was not married but he signed the divorce paper….hmmm don’t add up.

From all the the post to me it seems him and his lawyer both seem to be cooking stories, if his lawyer is suggesting you go and tell CO since it was so long he thought he was single that is dumb move.

Anyways since you have made up your mind all I can say good luck.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Thank you for your comments and non-advice. But I've already decided what to do.

Clearly you didn't take your time to read through it. My fiancé was NEVER married to his baby momma. You may want to re-read to get the facts straight before you start bashing me for my actions.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Your fiance is blameless. He is not responsible for anything. This would imply that this whole "I forgot I was married" thing is your fault becuase you never asked him. I hope you live together in peaceful happiness forever.

[Boiler 45,541]

8 pages so can get confusing.

Rough order:

Married.

Left wife.

Relationship with another woman, not married but did produce a child.

That relationship finished.

New relationship with OP.

At some point his Wife initiated a divorce, when this happened and when it was finalised is not known but he is currently divorced.