Fiancé forgot he was married before!

[callmekay 19]

I dont think anyboby would ever forget their marriage except some health problem involved. It might be the case that he hid that from you at beginning. When you were filed I-129F, he did not want you to know about it. At this stage, he might think the process is about to finish and you will forgive him no matter what.

I dont think this is a common mistake for K-1, I can believe someone was accidently clicked single instead of marry. It is true that if you hid then why you guys try to correct it now. But CO might think you guys were lied to get approved from USCIS ( half way of paperwork) , and tried to correct it now.

I have a question for you: Do you include his daughter in I-129F? or the daughter lives with her mom?

That's what I'm worried about the paperwork.

At least point we can only try and hope for the best. Worst case we get stuck in AP but even then if all is on the table what else can be said or done but to wait. This whole visa journey is all a wait. When we initially filed the paperwork I knew about his baby momma cause that's the one he told me about. His daughter is listed on the i129f She lives with him.

I would figure if he wanted to hide something the daughter would have been more of a reasonable situation versus the previous marriage

[callmekay 19]

I'm really happy that you found love and all..... but if his story of forgetting his previous marriage got all the eyebrows here raised, I'm pretty sure the consul won't have any of it. Because of his "forgetfulness", they might think the whole application is a fraud.

Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE you want to marry this guy? A life of trying to find out if he is keeping more from you sounds like hell. "You never asked" ... wow ... I'm really bothered for you sweetie

That's my main concern as well. And I expressed that concern to him. He basically told me that he didn't think that union would have counted because no celebration was done.

The generation gap I was referring to was the different lifestyles he and I have. We are 9 years apart and I've been in the US all my life. So apparently I don't understand how he thinks :/

[B_J 2,752]

That's what I'm worried about the paperwork.

At least point we can only try and hope for the best. Worst case we get stuck in AP but even then if all is on the table what else can be said or done but to wait. This whole visa journey is all a wait. When we initially filed the paperwork I knew about his baby momma cause that's the one he told me about. His daughter is listed on the i129f She lives with him.

I would figure if he wanted to hide something the daughter would have been more of a reasonable situation versus the previous marriage

All I have to add is that being stuck in AP is definitely not the worst case. This could get a lot worse in the future. Just be very sure of what you're doing.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I think he thinks differently too. I think he thinks like a liar to "save face." Not a good trait.

[clairegie 265]

I'm very sorry this happened to you hun, you deserve better. I pray you don't have to go through life with him, living with half truths.

I am older than my fiance too, and he has lived in the States all his life. But we both know the definition of marriage.

I know you're an intelligent woman. Please be smart about this. I know you don't want to waste all the effort you put into the relationship, or the wait you had to do for the petition. But this is your life we are talking about. I really don't want you to end up divorced. I know YOU KNOW the right thing to do.

Edited August 29, 2013 by iammrsregi

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I think he thinks differently too. I think he thinks like a liar to "save face." Not a good trait.

A loose affiliation with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, seems to be a common third world trait, especially when your future survival is at stake.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

A loose affiliation with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, seems to be a common third world trait, especially when your future survival is at stake.

Yep, and I am against it.

[pro_star 52]

I'm very sorry this happened to you hun, you deserve better. I pray you don't have to go through life with him, living with half truths.

I am older than my fiance too, and he has lived in the States all his life. But we both know the definition of marriage.

I know you're an intelligent woman. Please be smart about this. I know you don't want to waste all the effort you put into the relationship, or the wait you had to do for the petition. But this is your life we are talking about. I really don't want you to end up divorced. I know YOU KNOW the right thing to do.

Wise words. Very wise words.

[Anonymous885 44]

As you said the daughter lives with him, it doesnt sound right that he forgot. In Vietnam, they only have baby when they married ( for 90% of population ). Otherwise, they will go abortion if they wont marry. Furthermore, he is the one that keep baby ( wife will usually take care of children), something is weird to me.

However, we are here not adjusting who right or wrong. Good luck at interview.

Edited August 29, 2013 by HaoPhong

[TomandCatie 7]

I've read all the comments here... and although I'm no expert in visas. I can honestly say that this husband of yours sound EXTREMELY shady. NO ONE and I repeat NO ONE forgets they were married. Celebration, no celebration, doesn't matter! Unless he suffered some rare freak accident and can't remember certain things, then personally this looks like a giant fraudster. Be really careful. If my husband ever told me he "forgot" he was married before, I'd be gone by now. That's a HUGE trust issue.

What was he going to do when you got married? You have to put down any prior marriages you've had an supply proof of it being dissolved? How does he "find it out" on facebook? Unless he was purposely searching her name?

Two things you need to find out.

1. Was his ex a USC?

2. What else is he lying to you about?

Marriage is a lifetime commitment, don't go into it on a "giving him the benefit of the doubt" and then 10 days later find out he's a giant liar. Does he have parents? Why didn't his family ever mention it?

It doesn't matter if you never asked him that question. That's the kind of thing people would bring up in a relationship ANYWAY.

My husband told me he was married before 3 days after meeting him? So... the forgetting thing will be hard to prove and I doubt you'll see any approval. Sorry

[callmekay 19]

I've read all the comments here... and although I'm no expert in visas. I can honestly say that this husband of yours sound EXTREMELY shady. NO ONE and I repeat NO ONE forgets they were married. Celebration, no celebration, doesn't matter! Unless he suffered some rare freak accident and can't remember certain things, then personally this looks like a giant fraudster. Be really careful. If my husband ever told me he "forgot" he was married before, I'd be gone by now. That's a HUGE trust issue.

What was he going to do when you got married? You have to put down any prior marriages you've had an supply proof of it being dissolved? How does he "find it out" on facebook? Unless he was purposely searching her name?

Two things you need to find out.

1. Was his ex a USC?

2. What else is he lying to you about?

Marriage is a lifetime commitment, don't go into it on a "giving him the benefit of the doubt" and then 10 days later find out he's a giant liar. Does he have parents? Why didn't his family ever mention it?

It doesn't matter if you never asked him that question. That's the kind of thing people would bring up in a relationship ANYWAY.

My husband told me he was married before 3 days after meeting him? So... the forgetting thing will be hard to prove and I doubt you'll see any approval. Sorry

We've pretty much been researching on where to go from here with the process. We've waited long as everyone else and I can honestly say I am keeping my head up as much as I can in light of this.

If we don't get the approval than we will try to find another way to get him here.

Who knows. Maybe when he gets to the interview may be a nice interviewer and we pass. Hopeful dreaming but a girl can still dream.

[MIDUVIL 34]

He spoke with a lawyer and apparently this is a common mistake among k1 visa applicants. Possibly because marriages were scarcely documented? Per the lawyer, fill out the DS 230 form and submit as usual to Get inteview date. have a letter explaining the mistake on the i129f form and present our case. I'm aware my fiancé had previous relationships and of course I can't cant change the past. It just aggregating cause this is potential something that can hold the process even longer. Generation gap has different ways of thinking I guess.

And I know that people are forgetful but this is immigration involved. We say we forgot this. But they can look at it that we are hiding it from them.

My fiancé view is if we were to hide it we wouldn't try to correct it now. I'm just thinking if he was smart he would have told me.

So the risk or forgetting a marriage is higher among K1 applicants?

After that, if the lawyer sees that a lot it's normal for him to reach this conclusion.

....

But no need of a lawyer to make this assumption ...or excuse.

Edited August 29, 2013 by MIDUVIL

[Em Thich Mo Mong 4]

We've pretty much been researching on where to go from here with the process. We've waited long as everyone else and I can honestly say I am keeping my head up as much as I can in light of this.

If we don't get the approval than we will try to find another way to get him here.

Who knows. Maybe when he gets to the interview may be a nice interviewer and we pass. Hopeful dreaming but a girl can still dream.

I'm not trying to pass judgement(s) on you because I don't have ALL the relevant facts to do so. But you have CLEARLY indicated your intention through multiple posts in this thread alone to get that man over here, no matter what.

So be it. I think other VJers are barking up the wrong tree.

Kay, on a personal note, don't take this personally, just a life experience friendly advice: If you play with knives, be prepared to get cut at some point. That's kinda expected. Here's what's more important: Do prepare to have a first-aid kit ready. You really don't know how "serious" your cut gonna be. Be prepared for the unexpected!

Last but not least, I personally underestimate the "dullness" of the knives I played with in the past all the times!

Edited August 29, 2013 by Em Thich Mo Mong

[Em Thich Mo Mong 4]

All I have to add is that being stuck in AP is definitely not the worst case. This could get a lot worse in the future. Just be very sure of what you're doing.

Just a personal thinking, not inferring the OP, CallMeKay, is doing it. If a couple is committing immgration fraud, for whatever purpose, $$$ gain being one of them, they'd care less about what happens after the marriage. They're not in the game for that purpose! Their main concern is to get the passing pink slip at the CO stage.

Edited August 29, 2013 by Em Thich Mo Mong

[missypatrick14 0]

I don't want to be unkind but I don't get how on earth you can forget you are married. It makes no sense,if he is to start afresh and a new life with you surely it requires trust between you both. I'm slightly surprised you believed him when he said he forgot too. I think alarm bells would start ringing if my Fiance were to tell me he had forgotten he had been married and divorced before. If you are going to be together then you need to be able to trust eachother. Relationships are built on trust. I think you should be more concerned about the trust in your relationship than the visa right now...I think you know though what is the right thing for you.