Ex wife wants to move to Canada with daughter

[onthechip 0]

My ex and I share 50-50 custody with our 3-year-old daughter. We live in the Detroit area, and she has been dating a Canadian citizen for about a year. He lives in Windsor. They want to move in together, but she claims that even if they were to get married, he would 1) be unable to work in the US; and 2) be unable to continue commuting to his job in Windsor, until he gains full citizenship, which could take years. Her proposed solution to this is to move to Windsor temporarily until he is able to live and work in the US. She is a teacher and would continue to cross the border every day to teach in the US. I have given her a firm NO on this, because aside from the obvious (hassle of going back and forth is not in our child's best interest) it probably presents other issues that could negatively impact our child's life, and ultimately is not what's best for her.

My question is: Is there any hope for them, as far as being able to move him here and enable him to work here or in Windsor? I would hate for my unwillingness to allow the temporary move to be the reason for the disintegration of their relationship (they're both 31 and want to have a baby soon), but I'm still dead set against my child living half-time in Canada.

Edited August 16, 2013 by onthechip

[yorubaqueen13 28]

He culd work in the US but not til filing proper paperwork after them getting married... Immigrating is a long process, the Temporary move mite b sumthing u r against for your child however Goin thru this process myself, ur x does have a legitimate reason for her actions.. It can b grueling waiting alone for immigration procedures to complete course.. Its still hard to think of ur child being far away, however, if u can work it out it may b a nice adjustment for ur child... Thats the hard part of parenting. The decisions we have to make idk wat to tell u on that part of ur question but yes certainly consider how ur decision will impact the likely hood of them being a family unit before just saying NO... Goodluck

[onthechip 0]

Thanks for the input...also, my biggest confusion lies in why he would be unable to continue working in Windsor...

[NikLR 13,232]

He would have to immigrate to the USA first, which takes 8-12 months, AFTER marriage. (They could do the fiance route but it's more costly and he would have to wait at least 3 months after they marry in the USA to be able to look for work.) During that time he would have to live in Canada and continue working. They would have to live apart. However she's wrong about him being able to continue working in Windsor after obtaining his legal permanent residence to the USA. I would suggest you read this but also direct your ex wife to this site so she can have help on the journey. http://www.visajourney.com/content/compare Also suggest this site to her for the Canada immigration: http://www.roadtocanada.com/forums/index.php

She also probably also wants to move to Canada to take advantage of Ontario Health care and not have to pay for prenatal care or hospital care for the birth. She would have to be legally residing in Ontario for 3 months before she can apply for OHIP. I can't say I blame her for wanting to move up to Canada to wait out the process. However she should research living in Canada as well because while she can move up there and she can apply for residency, it takes longer than the other way around (than moving to the USA.) FYI She doesn't qualify for health care if she's visiting Canada, she needs to be legally residing. She would also have to deal with border patrol every day which some people do without worry but there is the chance they could deny her entry to Canada as well, especially if she's stayed in Canada longer than 180 days per 365.

Basically by saying no, you're saying she cannot live with her significant other until his immigration process is done, whichever route they choose. You're also saying she has to pay for prenatal care and childbirth if she manages to qualify for it in Ontario. But it was also her choice to get pregnant when she didn't live with the man, not yours. (Pregnancy is easily avoided by using several means of birth control... sometimes even with all that it still happens but if you're very careful, it shouldn't.)

As long as your daughter still gets to see you as often as she does now, I'm not sure what the big deal is to be honest. It's just Ontario.

Edited August 16, 2013 by NLR

[onthechip 0]

Just to clarify...she's not pregnant. But they do want to have a baby sometime in the next few years.

[NikLR 13,232]

OH, I misread. Sorry!!! /facepalm (hey I ran outta coffee!!! LOL)

They should decide on a path though and get on it. Either way it takes about 8 months (on the low end of the marriage side and the high end of the fiance side.) He has to live in Canada until he has a visa. But once here, on a spousal visa, he can work right away, either in the USA or still in Canada. On a fiance visa, he has to wait until after they're married and file AOS. About 3 months after they file AOS he will get employment authorization and can start working.

It takes about 2+ years to get Canadian residency. They'd have to live together for at least 6 months to be able to apply for it or be married.

So while she's wrong, he could continue to work in windsor after becoming an US permanent resident and it doesn't take years (8-12 months) but she is right that he can't move to the USA while the process is going through. However, people do it all the time. I had to stay in Canada while our process went through and if you can visit frequently, it makes it easier. Some couples are barely able to visit each other. I was only able to get down for 7-10 days every 3 months. Our first anniversary was spent apart.

I also understand your concerns about your daughter but I think with a solid custody agreement, nexus cards (similar to global entry) you should be okay. She should, however, continue to have play school or day care in the USA IMHO. Just incase the mother is denied entry at the border by CBSA. NEXUS cards would also make it easier to go across the border because they can have a record of travel consent on hand when they scan the card. (The CBSA like to know that the parent not travelling with the child gives their consent for the other parent to cross the border... I find CBSA to be more strict about this than the US CBP.)