Ok, I need someone to console me.....

[Detty2809 0]

Been thinking about how to make this work. My fiance is in the Navy and starting next year his ship would get deployed often. The problem is, they never really know when they will get deployed. My fiance never got an exact date when. I've known about this but I thought he would get at least an info in advance when he tells his boss that he's getting married and need to set a date so we could invite my parents to be there too. Unfortunately this is not the case. Even the boss doesn't know when exactly they will be deployed.

The major prob is that, my fiance was expecting that I would go there anyways and get married once we get a chance without my parents. My parents are totally ASIAN, as in, they would never let me go thousands of miles away from them to be with a man and not knowing when they would be able to see me getting married to him. Infact, the scariest thought would be, their daughter is prolly going to get married WITHOUT them witnessing it. I just know my parents would flip and I am scared that they would not let me go.

My man can not come here also....said that the US Government do not let their military personnels to visit my country. This is just insane.

What am I gonna do.......? Any Asians experiencing/ed the same situation?

[Ban Hammer 13,135]

Been thinking about how to make this work. My fiance is in the Navy and starting next year his ship would get deployed often. The problem is, they never really know when they will get deployed. My fiance never got an exact date when. I've known about this but I thought he would get at least an info in advance when he tells his boss that he's getting married and need to set a date so we could invite my parents to be there too. Unfortunately this is not the case. Even the boss doesn't know when exactly they will be deployed.

The major prob is that, my fiance was expecting that I would go there anyways and get married once we get a chance without my parents. My parents are totally ASIAN, as in, they would never let me go thousands of miles away from them to be with a man and not knowing when they would be able to see me getting married to him. Infact, the scariest thought would be, their daughter is prolly going to get married WITHOUT them witnessing it. I just know my parents would flip and I am scared that they would not let me go.

My man can not come here also....said that the US Government do not let their military personnels to visit my country. This is just insane.

What am I gonna do.......? Any Asians experiencing/ed the same situation?

not sure but perhaps that about visiting your country might be due to a security clearance your fiancee holds.

according to your profile, you are in indonesia and it is on a travel advisory at department of state, so that might be it.

http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_918.html

[Fandango 1,439]

Get married somewhere you can broadcast the wedding on the internet

[Detty2809 0]

Ya, I've read about that, charlesandnessa. They didn't mention about my island but anyways. This problem, my parents understood. But they wouldn't expect not being able to go to the states either for their daughter's wedding....

Get married somewhere you can broadcast the wedding on the internet

But it won't be the same . Think my parents would think I'm crazy if I ever told them to get online to see me getting married

[Fandango 1,439]

Ya, I've read about that, charlesandnessa. They didn't mention about my island but anyways. This problem, my parents understood. But they wouldn't expect not being able to go to the states either for their daughter's wedding....

Get married somewhere you can broadcast the wedding on the internet

But it won't be the same . Think my parents would think I'm crazy if I ever told them to get online to see me getting married

But at least it's a compromise. You need to go to your parents as a woman and explain your dilemma. I am sure they want your happiness...so ask them for help in a compromise so that you can make this work.

[William33 110]

Charles,

Not the case. The clearance is not the issue, it is all about safety of USG personnel.

My previous clearance was never the issue with visiting Indonesia, it was always a personal safety issue.

Of course, I was sent there TDY without question. Yet, personal travel requests were sometimes rejected, due to the security situation at the time.

Later on, as a Consultant there, I frequently encountered various USG employees, military included, who were kept close to the vest for safety reasons.

Detty2809, you need to somehow balance the needs of your family with your interest in getting married.

You also need to consider the lifestyle of the Navy wife, in that your potential husband can be deployed for 6 months at a time. Can you deal with that length of separation?

Keep in mind that 60-70% of Navy marriages fail. A sad statistic indeed. Best of luck to you.

not sure but perhaps that about visiting your country might be due to a security clearance your fiancee holds.

according to your profile, you are in indonesia and it is on a travel advisory at department of state, so that might be it.

http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_918.html

[Fandango 1,439]

You also need to consider the lifestyle of the Navy wife, in that your potential husband can be deployed for 6 months at a time. Can you deal with that length of separation?

Keep in mind that 60-70% of Navy marriages fail. A sad statistic indeed. Best of luck to you.

Wow, you're a ray of sunshine. Why should she keep those stats in mind?

[William33 110]

You also need to consider the lifestyle of the Navy wife, in that your potential husband can be deployed for 6 months at a time. Can you deal with that length of separation?

Keep in mind that 60-70% of Navy marriages fail. A sad statistic indeed. Best of luck to you.

Wow, you're a ray of sunshine. Why should she keep those stats in mind?

Because I don't blow sunshine, where it don't shine. I am a realist.

[Ban Hammer 13,135]

Charles,

Not the case. The clearance is not the issue, it is all about safety of USG personnel.

My previous clearance was never the issue with visiting Indonesia, it was always a personal safety issue.

au contraire...........there are plenty of countries i cannot visit due to my security clearance.

"In this context, travel to communist-controlled and other hazardous activity areas is prohibited. A listing of these hazardous activity areas is prohibited. A listing of these hazardous activity areas can be found in Annex A of NSA/CSS Regulation No. 30-31, "Security Requirements for Foreign Travel" (12 June 1987)."

link

identical restrictions were applied by the sso.

[William33 110]

Charles,

Not the case. The clearance is not the issue, it is all about safety of USG personnel.

My previous clearance was never the issue with visiting Indonesia, it was always a personal safety issue.

au contraire...........there are plenty of countries i cannot visit due to my security clearance.

"In this context, travel to communist-controlled and other hazardous activity areas is prohibited. A listing of these hazardous activity areas is prohibited. A listing of these hazardous activity areas can be found in Annex A of NSA/CSS Regulation No. 30-31, "Security Requirements for Foreign Travel" (12 June 1987)."

link

identical restrictions were applied by the sso.

Charles,

Why are you quoting NSA regulations? This infers that you do not work for them, if you did, you would not be speaking of it.

Further, you married a foreign national. This alone would require serious "hoop jumping" in order to maintain the level of clearance you infer.

I do agree that certain countries are off limits, due to CI concerns. Indonesia is not on that list.

[Ban Hammer 13,135]

Charles,

Not the case. The clearance is not the issue, it is all about safety of USG personnel.

My previous clearance was never the issue with visiting Indonesia, it was always a personal safety issue.

au contraire...........there are plenty of countries i cannot visit due to my security clearance.

"In this context, travel to communist-controlled and other hazardous activity areas is prohibited. A listing of these hazardous activity areas is prohibited. A listing of these hazardous activity areas can be found in Annex A of NSA/CSS Regulation No. 30-31, "Security Requirements for Foreign Travel" (12 June 1987)."

link

identical restrictions were applied by the sso.

Charles,

Why are you quoting NSA regulations? This infers that you do not work for them, if you did, you would not be speaking of it.

Further, you married a foreign national. This alone would require serious "hoop jumping" in order to maintain the level of clearance you infer.

I do agree that certain countries are off limits, due to CI concerns. Indonesia is not on that list.

nsa usually makes many of the rules that apply to certain clearances

as for the foreign national, that's all been taken care of. all t's crossed, i's dotted.

if indonesia is on the ds travel advisory, does it not stand to reason that the military would place additional restrictions on their personnel travelling to there?

[garya505 2]

People with security clearances are taught not to talk about it, anonymously or otherwise.

[Detty2809 0]

Yah, i HAVE been left for a 6 months deployment once, so i knew how it felt. It was hard, but we got through it. But then again, my fiance will start his shore duty on July this year, so being away from each other should not be a problem anymore. Just this..trying to make everybody happy is the problem....

Detty2809, you need to somehow balance the needs of your family with your interest in getting married.

You also need to consider the lifestyle of the Navy wife, in that your potential husband can be deployed for 6 months at a time. Can you deal with that length of separation?

Keep in mind that 60-70% of Navy marriages fail. A sad statistic indeed. Best of luck to you.

Thank you William. Balancing the needs of my family and my interest in getting married is what I have been trying to do. It's making me tense and stressed out. My fiance said the only thing we could do would be getting married without my parents first (signing the papers) , and then when we get the chance we would do a bigger wedding with everybody in it... the problem is that, he can not promise when we could do that.. what if it's like.... the next year? My parents would disown me or something.......

[William33 110]

Detty2809,

Well, glad to hear that. Perhaps you all can meet in Singapore for the ceremony?

Charles,

Clearance requirements are DCI directives (DCID), a direct result of Presidential Directives (PDD's). Check it again.

Yah, i HAVE been left for a 6 months deployment once, so i knew how it felt. It was hard, but we got through it. But then again, my fiance will start his shore duty on July this year, so being away from each other should not be a problem anymore. Just this..trying to make everybody happy is the problem....

[Detty2809 0]

Dunno if he would be able to come down to Singapore before I go to the states. Hmm....or should I try getting an Advanced Parole after getting married in the states then come down to Singapore with him?