When travelling back to foreign sopuse's country

[Saddle Bronc 124]

When travelling back to foreign sopuse's country to visit the folks, do you take time to visit other areas of that country? Say for example some Rand R to the beach? Or do you spend all of the time visiting family?

If you do spend time away from family, do you feel guilty about it? I guess the assumption would be that there is a family to visit and everyone is in good terms. Otherwise this question wuld be mmot.

just curious.

Daniel

:energetic:

Why not bring them all to the beach with you!

May be rather difficult if the country is fairly large and has parts 100's of km from nearest beach (where many of the relatives live).

[Cassie 8]

each time we've been home, we've taken "us" time and gone exploring. My family understands and encourage it, actually, especially because they love to see the pictures we end up taking while we are out.

[Carlawarla 1]

I've so enjoyed seeing people's response to this question. I agree with posters who mention finding time for themselves during their visit to spend time alone, do some day trips maybe, and having relatives coming to see them while they're in the area.

I would like to know, have shared, what people think though, about...well, maybe future travel?

I'll give an example. If you have say two weeks of vacation a year, and you wanted to do a road trip of the west coast. Just the two of you. Are there expectations from family and friends that you'll spend vacations with them? Just for the first few years? Or, ever! Will they be hurt that you've just spent or are planning to spend your only vacation miles from them, or not intending to visit them?

I think maybe for the first few years, a lot of vacations might be spent visiting your partners country, and allowing them to visit family. I agree the homesickness will be a major factor.

I think for myself, inviting family to visit us, especially in a year that we've visited elsewhere, might be the key.

For myself, I think I get too wrapped up in guilt, be it real or not, about what I perhaps selfishly want, (to travel and explore places other than Canada), and what others, (family and friends) want.

Carla

[john_and_marlene 162]

We wanted to spend Christmas with Marlene's family this year. Travel to the Philippines is not exactly inexpensive, so I saved much of my vacation time this year so that we can extend our stay to a full month. There are many people we want to visit and there are a lot of extended family members I have not met. We are planning to be with her immediate family for Christmas and Have a large luncheon planned (about 80 people) later in January for meeting the extended family. We also plan on meeting for lunches with groups of her friends. The extened time should allow for plenty of time with her family and friends and also to make several additional outtings for activities we want to do.

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

Cool answer folks! I guess there is no "wrong" answer. Everyone needs to make it work according to their unique situation.

Last night, one of Ana's sisters was on the phone, she complained that we were going to spend too little time with them.

Another wrinkle has been that various relatives of Ana have offered to host us at their houses. We've had to graciously decline as we have access to a house for ourselves. So that was another akward moment.

Daniel

:energetic:

[chri'stina 190]

Hmm well I can't really answer since I haven't been back to India and have not met any family yet.

But I will guess what will happen when I eventually go...

By the time I go they will be living in Mumbai. I will probably have a baby by then too. So most of the time would probably be with family since it would be the first time we'd actually be meeting.

But I am sure that I'd also do some sightseeing around Mumbai with Sujeet. I've been in New Delhi and Agra, so I'm sure they all will want me to see some cool things around Mumbai too. And I'm sure there will always be relatives with us. We've all been waiting years to meet so by the time I can go, I'm sure they won't want to let me out of their sight.

I have already become friendly with Sujeet's sisters so they will be my friends there. It's not that easy to travel around India IMO, and if I have a baby, that will make it harder. So we'll probably stay in one place on the future trip. Might be in a year and 2 months.

[MrsAmera 41]

Oh tough one. When Youssef goes back to visit it will be alone, as we are having a second child any day now and there's no way we can afford a trip for 4 back to Morocco right now. He's hoping to stay for 3 or 4 weeks and I'm sure that most of his time will be spent with his family. When we all do get the chance to take a vacation together in a year or so (hopefully) then we will probably spend most of our time with his family. However, his sisters are so doting with the kids that I'm sure that they would be more than willing and anxious to take them for a night or two so that we could get away for a little vacation too. But we're still playing everything by ear. I know that if we were going back to visit together right now we would spend most of our time with his family. He hasn't seen them in a year and we have all kinds of time together here, so I would want him to see his family and spend as much time as he could with them as I know how homesick he is.

[Henia 11]

We take a little tour of the family for the visits...but since my husband's parents are not living anymore..we have much more freedom to go places and explore. No one to entertain or be responisble for.... I love exploring my husband's country and cannot wait to show him mine!

[j&js 0]

James has always said that he doesn't want to spend all his vacation time visiting home because it won't be a real vacation. Our plan is to mix in visits to Ireland with other vacations. When we do visit Ireland we plan on going for a week or 2, spending a few days, then traveling to other parts of Europe, then spending the last few vacation days with the family again.

On a sidenote - I work with a woman who brought her now ex-husband to the US on a K1 years ago from England. She gave me the advice NOT to go 'back home' for every holiday, that she did that for years and while it was nice to visit, especially once they had kids and everything, not getting to visit anywhere else started to bother her eventually.

[Bootylicious!! 2]

We are going back for the first time to Mexico since Javier left. We are planning on visiting with the family and also having some alone time. I just made it clear to Javier that I loved his family and enjoyed spending time with them but I wanted to do things by ourselves. He had no problem with that. The big thing will be once we get down there will he actually be able to tell them we want to be alone.

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

We are going back for the first time to Mexico since Javier left. We are planning on visiting with the family and also having some alone time. I just made it clear to Javier that I loved his family and enjoyed spending time with them but I wanted to do things by ourselves. He had no problem with that. The big thing will be once we get down there will he actually be able to tell them we want to be alone.

yeah, that can be hard, telling them that you are leaving to spend some time on your own. i am sure they will understand, if not right awa, eventually.

I spilled the beans to a nothersister in law. We keep in touch via email and I told her our plans. Word got around. Thus the call from the other sister the other night.

At least now they now and it won't be a shock to them.

Daniel

:energetic:

[CarolineM 0]

The first time I went back was last year...well we got married over xmas, and then went back for the visa interview in March.

we were essentially tourists...in Dec he showed me all around his hometown and it was exhausting...we went and travelled and didn't feel bad about being awayf rom his family!

This year we're going back for xmas again, and I told him I don't want to do ANYTHINg. I want to relax and just veg...it's my xmas holiday from work and I don't want to wear myself out.

We stay with his family but they are great.

Edited December 7, 2006 by CarolineM

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

The first time I went back was last year...well we got married over xmas, and then went back for the visa interview in March.

we were essentially tourists...in Dec he showed me all around his hometown and it was exhausting...we went and travelled and didn't feel bad about being awayf rom his family!

This year we're going back for xmas again, and I told him I don't want to do ANYTHINg. I want to relax and just veg...it's my xmas holiday from work and I don't want to wear myself out.

We stay with his family but they are great.

veg-ing is not bad. glad you could do it.

I'd like to veg on the beach with a cold Corona.

Daniel

:energetic: