Am I committing immigration fraud?

[musicmaniac42 5]

Here's the situation: I am American living in the Midwest and was married to my European wife through a K-1 visa. The marriage, to put it simply, was a total disaster and the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Among the many reasons to end it, I definitely should have known to leave when she pulled a knife on me (because I chose to abstain from participating in an irrational screaming argument with her). It's tough to sleep in peace when you had to disarm her only minutes before.

We were married in May 2012, filed for AOS successfully last summer, and she received a conditional green card along with her working permit last August (2012).

We were separated in May 2013, and she has shown no desire for apology/reconciliation. As much as I love her still (inexplicably), I feel the urgent need to seek closure so I can heal and move on. I have filed for divorce, and all that remains is for her to sign the papers.

Now she has told me that she would rather not divorce (on paper). She wants to move to California, and for me to hold off on the divorce until AFTER she can obtain her 10-year green card. She has said, "It's only a piece of paper, it doesn't matter." In short, she wants to remain married on paper so she can renew her green card in 2014 and so she can continue to be on my health insurance.

I have felt conflicted about this, because I don't want to make her life more difficult. At the same time, I feel like it would be absolutely wrong to be separated, living separate lives, and pretending to be married "in good faith" when the time comes for her green card renewal. Would her suggestion constitute immigration fraud? Is there even a tiny chance of me being fined, jailed, or legally punished? It just feels so terrible and dishonest.

My (soon to be ex-)wife's concern is that 1) she will be deported when her 2 years are over, and 2) she will have to find her own health insurance. My thoughts are 1) she can file a waiver after the divorce so she can remain in the US, and 2) she can find and pay for her own insurance if she puts in the effort--she's young and in excellent health.

I had a friend ask, "Well, who would find out if you just stay 'married'?" My answer was that I would always know, and the risks aren't worth it. Plus, I'm ready to be done with this individual who has proven that she never loved me as I loved her.

If anyone has any advice (and, please, not just "Well, I think it'd be..."), I would appreciate your honest input.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

If you help ROC as though you have a valid marriage you could be jailed and fined. She is using you. She could file under a waiver and you are not obligated to maintain health insurance after a divorce. You do know the longer you are married the more claim she has you your assets and retirement.

[a+j 77]

After you guys divorce, she will still be able to remove conditions on her own if she has sufficient proof that she entered the marriage in good faith.

[Darnell 8,479]

There's a tickbox on the ROC form about divorce.

[Scot_Roselyn 7]

Your feelings are known. Move on and get through the pain as best as you can. Let things roll as they happen. Deal with those as amicably as you can also. Allow her to build her new life as she wishes and then you can do the same.

Scot

[Karee 4,191]

As everyone else says, just because she gets divorced, doesn't mean she wont get the 10 year card. Just have to prove the marriage was entered in good faith. Just show some evidence of that and she'll be fine. It happens all the time.

[Berty 74]

Yes, for all the sham international marriages there are many more that simply fail because the people in question just aren't actually that compatible, or the foreign spouse can't adjust. Leaving aside the insurance issue (which I understand is no small thing) she can - and presumably will - still receive the following GC.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

We were married in May 2012, filed for AOS successfully last summer, and she received a conditional green card along with her working permit last August (2012).

We were separated in May 2013, and she has shown no desire for apology/reconciliation. I have filed for divorce, and all that remains is for her to sign the papers.

Now she has told me that she would rather not divorce (on paper). She wants to move to California, and for me to hold off on the divorce until AFTER she can obtain her 10-year green card. In short, she wants to remain married on paper so she can renew her green card in 2014 and so she can continue to be on my health insurance.

1. Would her suggestion constitute immigration fraud?

2. Is there even a tiny chance of me being fined, jailed, or legally punished? It just feels so terrible and dishonest.

My (soon to be ex-)wife's concern is that

3. she will be deported when her 2 years are over, and

4. she will have to find her own health insurance.

My thoughts are

5. she can file a waiver after the divorce so she can remain in the US, and

6. she can find and pay for her own insurance if she puts in the effort--she's young and in excellent health.

If anyone has any advice (and, please, not just "Well, I think it'd be..."), I would appreciate your honest input.

1. You are asking whether pretending to be happily married in order for her to gain an immigration benefit would be fraud. When I put it that way, I think it's pretty obvious. Yes.

2. There is always a remote possibility. Basically you need to decide if you're okay with knowingly committing fraud, and living with that choice and anything that results from that choice.

3. Which is ridiculous. If she has sufficient proof she entered the marriage in good faith she'll be fine with the divorce waiver. It's quite common.

4. Right. Staying married simply for insurance is a type of insurance fraud isn't it? I know when I signed up for my husbands insurance we had to show that we were married in the last year OR evidence that we were still actually living together. Makes me think it's important.

5. Yes she can

6. Yes she should.

My concern was mentioned by someone else above, the longer you are married, the more of a claim to your assets, 401K, life insurance etc. She would be your spouse and would have first claim on anything. Medical choices (say you're in an accident and they need to decide on treatment), what happens with you property (even if your will says something different she could try and fight it), she would be able to claim social security benefits when you die (this is even sometimes after divorce and is based on how long you've been married).

Truly, you've filed, follow through with it. Remind her SHE needs to file ROC by the deadline. You are not involved. If she fails to file ROC on time her LPR status will be revoked. If she hurries up with the divorce she won't need to wait for an RFE for the decree and can send it with the packet instead. If the divorce isn't final in time for her deadline then she needs to file without the decree and then she will be RFE'd for it and then have 86 days to reply. If she doesn't have it in time then her ROC will be denied and she will go before and immigration judge who will make USCIS wait for the decree. Basically she'll be on hold until it's all done. Big pain.

If you are no longer happily married, you have filed for divorce. Do not allow her to emotionally blackmail you with the love you still feel for her. Do what is best for you. It does not negatively affect her status, just means she needs to actually do things for herself.

[musicmaniac42 5]

Thank you all, particularly VanessaTony, for your very helpful responses. I'm glad to know with more certainty that my spouse will be just fine taking care of herself, and that she can't guilt me into being her "only option" for staying in the country. Furthermore, I hadn't thought of the repercussions of another year of "marriage" (401k, insurance, social security, etc)

As tough as it may be, I guess it's true that life never goes as planned, but I'm glad to know there are helpful people along the way! She and I will be having a discussion that she won't like, but it seems will be the best for both of us in the long-term. Again, thank you all for your help.

[Brian1967## 119]

OP Vannessa & Tony are spot on like normal And divorce and move on she will get nothing from before you two were married and it sounds like she found some one new in CA. Try to let her go and BTW I really know how you feel, I really do. I am sorry for all you have gone through and I feel for you.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

1. You are asking whether pretending to be happily married in order for her to gain an immigration benefit would be fraud. When I put it that way, I think it's pretty obvious. Yes.

2. There is always a remote possibility. Basically you need to decide if you're okay with knowingly committing fraud, and living with that choice and anything that results from that choice.

3. Which is ridiculous. If she has sufficient proof she entered the marriage in good faith she'll be fine with the divorce waiver. It's quite common.

4. Right. Staying married simply for insurance is a type of insurance fraud isn't it? I know when I signed up for my husbands insurance we had to show that we were married in the last year OR evidence that we were still actually living together. Makes me think it's important.

5. Yes she can

6. Yes she should.

My concern was mentioned by someone else above, the longer you are married, the more of a claim to your assets, 401K, life insurance etc. She would be your spouse and would have first claim on anything. Medical choices (say you're in an accident and they need to decide on treatment), what happens with you property (even if your will says something different she could try and fight it), she would be able to claim social security benefits when you die (this is even sometimes after divorce and is based on how long you've been married).

Truly, you've filed, follow through with it. Remind her SHE needs to file ROC by the deadline. You are not involved. If she fails to file ROC on time her LPR status will be revoked. If she hurries up with the divorce she won't need to wait for an RFE for the decree and can send it with the packet instead. If the divorce isn't final in time for her deadline then she needs to file without the decree and then she will be RFE'd for it and then have 86 days to reply. If she doesn't have it in time then her ROC will be denied and she will go before and immigration judge who will make USCIS wait for the decree. Basically she'll be on hold until it's all done. Big pain.

If you are no longer happily married, you have filed for divorce. Do not allow her to emotionally blackmail you with the love you still feel for her. Do what is best for you. It does not negatively affect her status, just means she needs to actually do things for herself.

Besides all that has been written: any debts she would incur while married, are YOUR debts too. What would stop her to run up a credit card for 10-20k, or get in negligent car accident in which you will also be on the hook? The financial implications are staggering, not to speak about the legal ones that might seem like victimless but they are quite serious.

[Andrea&Henry 311]

Besides the whole immigration stuff, I'm deeply sorry for all the things you're going through right now. I remember you, we have almost the same timeline, and you were a sept 2011 filler like me. I was surprise reading this. I read all the things people told you and they are completely right. Not only she can remove conditions by herself once the moment arrive but she is going to be perfectly fine. She has the option to go back to France with her family if things gets tougher for her. But keep yourself marry to her is worthless. She now can get a job, pay for own health insurance and pay her own stuff, don't let her do the "guilty game" over you, cause she has so many options. Besides, as somebody told you, you can never know if she can do something against you financially just because you are still legally marry. It doesnt pay the worth. I hope you make the best decision for you. God bless u

[St&Sv 33]

Thank you all, particularly VanessaTony, for your very helpful responses. I'm glad to know with more certainty that my spouse will be just fine taking care of herself, and that she can't guilt me into being her "only option" for staying in the country. Furthermore, I hadn't thought of the repercussions of another year of "marriage" (401k, insurance, social security, etc)

As tough as it may be, I guess it's true that life never goes as planned, but I'm glad to know there are helpful people along the way! She and I will be having a discussion that she won't like, but it seems will be the best for both of us in the long-term. Again, thank you all for your help.

Well it seems like you know what you need to do brother, so get it done and let us know the outcome. Just stay strong when you are having that conversation with her, I have a feeling she will probably resist and try to turn it back on you. Though she might even do an about face and start being nice to you while using sugar coated words to soothe you back to her side. Just keep a little reminder to yourself about what she has done so far. Sure she will have a difficult path ahead of her, but it is one that she choose by the decisions she made. Some of the hardest things we do in life give some of the best results, so it's time to take your life in the direction you want. Best of Luck.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Besides all that has been written: any debts she would incur while married, are YOUR debts too. What would stop her to run up a credit card for 10-20k, or get in negligent car accident in which you will also be on the hook? The financial implications are staggering, not to speak about the legal ones that might seem like victimless but they are quite serious.

Very good point. He could end up being sued for debts that she incurs, especially as he's the employed spouse and he would even end up with a lien on his house or his wages or bank accounts garnished to repay her debts. The risk is there for any married couple of course. It's a scary one!

Oh, and I believe in some states if you have a kid in wedlock the kid is assumed to be yours so you could end up trying to get hit for child support. Big huge mess :S

[Brian & Sil 1]

not let anyone use you, have love in yourself!