Visited BF on Tourist Visa. Now Pregnant. Now What?

[amberlynnloves 125]

My two thoughts:

Get married, file AOS. Since your BF's parents are so adamant about you staying, are they willing to help out with the birthing costs? If not, you might want to do the Spousal Visa. It is cheaper in the long run.

My husband and I did the K1 route, he moved here, we got married and filed for AOS. It costs WAY more. If I had done more research on it before hand, I would have gone the spousal route, but I didn't want to spend the first year of marriage apart from my husband. So we went the K1 route.

It is all about your options and feelings. Have a sit down with your BFs parents and see if they will be willing to help with the birthing costs. If they are, get married Monday, file AOS Tuesday and enjoy life with your new husband and your child soon.

Overstay is forgiven with AOS. My husbands I-94 expired March 23, 2013. We didn't file AOS until June 18, 2013. I had been out of work for a few months after a surgery that I had so money was tight. But we are set for our interview on September 3rd. The entire AOS process has gone SO quick and smooth for us.

I wish you all the best. And only YOU can know the right decision for you and the baby.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

re: insurance -

ALL policies have a 'life-changing event' clause in em, that allows a newlywed to be added.

Marriage is a life-changing event, and as such, can be added in at anytime, though most insurance carriers have a 60 day window for the signup, centered around the marriage date.

what may be troublesome is whether or not your pregnancy is considered an existing condition with that insurance carrier, or not. if not - super score ! if yes, dreck, must to rethink all.

re: working and contributing -

if you file the ENTIRE set of forms listed in GUIDE2 - then you'll note the EAD was included - and USUALLY you will get the EAD 90 to 100 days after applying for it. Bear that window in mind, when you are contemplating stuff about time-windows and whatnots.

re: K-1 - there's nothing stopping yer fella from filing on Monday and you going home - the two things aren't related. If it makes more sense to stay in the RoP until after the baby is born - this might be the better alternative for you, in terms of cost and medical care - IMO the timeline will miraculously 'sync up' around interview date, CRBA stuff, and your ability to travel after a pregnancy.

ALso, to take into account:

If you marry and file AOS soon, you'll have an EAD and have the potential of working and making $ for a few months before birth and then 30-45 days after. A second consideration is that being married and with child, tax deductions for BF will increase and overall you might be better off.

On AOS, and depending on times, you might have a GC well before the estimated bith date and might (depends on how far into pregnancy and whether is a risk or not to fly that late), notice again the might, be able to fly home and give birth there.

It's time to make some decisions and then go the path decided. As others have said, check the insurance clauses for coverage and make sure not only that you understand that well but that the interpretation is the same for the insurance (the HR in the company people will help you BF on that, no need to get with the insurance).

Edited August 10, 2013 by Gosia & Tito

[SennaBrigante 92]

I think my BF is asking his HR director about it right now. But what I saw in their coverage packet is that pregnancy has a 9 month elimination period and that period will end 2 months after I'm due.

Honestly, everyone - my BF, his family, my parents are saying that I should just stay here and give birth here but for some reason I really don't feel comfortable about it. We live in a really small town with a medical center that is unreliable at best. Even private practitioners here would tell you to go to the next biggest city for medical attention which is 45 mins away via the interstate. I'm alone for almost 12 hours a day, 5 days a week and 6 hours on Saturday. If anything happened, I'd have to call my BF from work so he can take me to the doctor or the hospital as there are no public transportation options here AT ALL.

Money is also tight as he has 2 loans he's paying off, probation fees, rent, utilities and other bills. I'm not contributing much so we're subsisting on the bare bones minimum when it comes to groceries. No frills, no thrills. With his financial situation right now, I feel like he'd be able to save more with me in the Philippines. $5,000 may not seem like a lot to some people but to me, it could be money spent on nappies, formula, cribs, car seats, a car even.

In the Phils, I have an HMO, birthing is cheaper and if anything went wrong *knocks on wood* I can just get someone to call a cab from outside our house and 20 minutes later I'm in my preferred hospital. There are also 3 hospitals within 5 miles of my house. I won't be alone all day since my uncle lives with us and works from home.I also work from home (freelance writer) but I don't earn much but it is in $$$ so with the conversion rates, I can stay afloat.

I was hoping to go home soon so that I can already pay my ob/gyne a visit and get the baby checked out. It would be difficult to be away from my BF, of course especially since we've been together physically for a month only. We've had a long distance relationship for 2 years before I finally got the tourist visa to visit him.

He's also worried about getting a passport to fly to the Phils for the baby's birth. He has 4 previous felonies and will only get off probation on Feb. I'm not as worried because he has a stable job here, I'll have an active GC application, he'll have copies of my medical documents relating to the pregnancy and birth and he'll have a return ticket. Kinda starting to sound like he's applying for a tourist visa to the US lol.

But yeah, this issue has been stressing me out and I seem to be the only one who understands where I'm coming from lol. Just trying to keep a cool, calm demeanor about this cuz stress is toxic for baby..

Thanks to everyone who provided their input. There's gonna be a loooooong discussion happening when my BF gets home from work.

Edited August 10, 2013 by SennaBrigante

[SennaBrigante 92]

My two thoughts:

Get married, file AOS. Since your BF's parents are so adamant about you staying, are they willing to help out with the birthing costs? If not, you might want to do the Spousal Visa. It is cheaper in the long run.

My husband and I did the K1 route, he moved here, we got married and filed for AOS. It costs WAY more. If I had done more research on it before hand, I would have gone the spousal route, but I didn't want to spend the first year of marriage apart from my husband. So we went the K1 route.

It is all about your options and feelings. Have a sit down with your BFs parents and see if they will be willing to help with the birthing costs. If they are, get married Monday, file AOS Tuesday and enjoy life with your new husband and your child soon.

Overstay is forgiven with AOS. My husbands I-94 expired March 23, 2013. We didn't file AOS until June 18, 2013. I had been out of work for a few months after a surgery that I had so money was tight. But we are set for our interview on September 3rd. The entire AOS process has gone SO quick and smooth for us.

I wish you all the best. And only YOU can know the right decision for you and the baby.

I'm pretty sure parents from both sides will be willing with the birthing costs but they've been helping us out financially since Day 1 and I just feel like this is the perfect time to be independent. We're gonna be parents soon and if we can't stand on our own even before the baby gets here, how much more when it does?

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You lied in your visa interview and said you were visiting family instead of a bf so that you could get the visa. That can be trouble. Did they ask you about having a bf?

[dinasnyder 0]

Hi everyone!

I got my visa last Feb. and I arrived in the US last mid-June to visit my BF. Just a few days ago I found out that I was pregnant. My decision was to cut my trip short and head home to the Phils end of September and give birth there. While I'm there, I told my BF to file for a K-1 visa so that by the time the baby is born on April, we'll be ready to go back here with the right visa.

My BF would rather not have me leave and stay in US throughout the pregnancy and give birth here. I can only legally stay in the US until December and from my understanding about K1 visas, I'll have to go back to the Phils for the interview.

What other visa options do I have?

My BF's parents who also went through this process like almost 30 years ago said that if the baby was conceived here with an USC then I can stay throughout the pregnancy period, give birth here and change statuses? I'm assuming we'll have to get married to do that..

I really don't know what to do at this point or what my options are and I know people in this forum are very knowledgeable about these things so... help?

Thanks!

its happen with my friends too, she is pregnant and just got married in US and apply for AOS and GC, she dont have to coming back to indonesia..

[SennaBrigante 92]

You lied in your visa interview and said you were visiting family instead of a bf so that you could get the visa. That can be trouble. Did they ask you about having a bf?

I am worried about that too. I said I'm visiting my family in DC for two weeks. But then I stayed there for two weeks and then flew to Texas and I've been here for a month. The pregnancy was not planned but if you just follow my journey here in the US it's pretty obvious that I planned to go here to Texas too and I'm not exclusively visiting my relatives.

I don't want to get banned because of that. Another reason why I'd rather go back home and come back with the right visa.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

I think my BF is asking his HR director about it right now. But what I saw in their coverage packet is that pregnancy has a 9 month elimination period and that period will end 2 months after I'm due.

Honestly, everyone - my BF, his family, my parents are saying that I should just stay here and give birth here but for some reason I really don't feel comfortable about it. We live in a really small town with a medical center that is unreliable at best. Even private practitioners here would tell you to go to the next biggest city for medical attention which is 45 mins away via the interstate. I'm alone for almost 12 hours a day, 5 days a week and 6 hours on Saturday. If anything happened, I'd have to call my BF from work so he can take me to the doctor or the hospital as there are no public transportation options here AT ALL.

Money is also tight as he has 2 loans he's paying off, probation fees, rent, utilities and other bills. I'm not contributing much so we're subsisting on the bare bones minimum when it comes to groceries. No frills, no thrills. With his financial situation right now, I feel like he'd be able to save more with me in the Philippines. $5,000 may not seem like a lot to some people but to me, it could be money spent on nappies, formula, cribs, car seats, a car even.

In the Phils, I have an HMO, birthing is cheaper and if anything went wrong *knocks on wood* I can just get someone to call a cab from outside our house and 20 minutes later I'm in my preferred hospital. There are also 3 hospitals within 5 miles of my house. I won't be alone all day since my uncle lives with us and works from home.I also work from home (freelance writer) but I don't earn much but it is in $$$ so with the conversion rates, I can stay afloat.

I was hoping to go home soon so that I can already pay my ob/gyne a visit and get the baby checked out. It would be difficult to be away from my BF, of course especially since we've been together physically for a month only. We've had a long distance relationship for 2 years before I finally got the tourist visa to visit him.

He's also worried about getting a passport to fly to the Phils for the baby's birth. He has 4 previous felonies and will only get off probation on Feb. I'm not as worried because he has a stable job here, I'll have an active GC application, he'll have copies of my medical documents relating to the pregnancy and birth and he'll have a return ticket. Kinda starting to sound like he's applying for a tourist visa to the US lol.

But yeah, this issue has been stressing me out and I seem to be the only one who understands where I'm coming from lol. Just trying to keep a cool, calm demeanor about this cuz stress is toxic for baby..

Thanks to everyone who provided their input. There's gonna be a loooooong discussion happening when my BF gets home from work.

It seems you have already answer yourself. One more thing to consider: you mention felonies and probation. Immigration applications have some questions about crimes being committed by the sponsor (your BF). I would suggest to also check with an attorney about those. Often, immigration attorneys would do a free initial consultation. I'd make sure is a good one.

Check the application forms and make sure your BF does not fall within the offenses listed.

[himher 634]

Thanks guys!

So if we get married, I just have to adjust my status?

That is correct.

I would guess an unexpected pregnancy would be more than enough justification for your change in plans.

Good luck either way!

Edited August 10, 2013 by himher

[Cathi 5,755]

You lied at your interview about the intent of your visitor visa. If I were you I would go home and file for a proper visa, don;t take the chance of trying to adjust status and getting deported and having a ban. Another reason for people to never lie to immigration. Good luck

[amberlynnloves 125]

At this point, based on the lying at the visitor visa interview about your intended purpose and your BFs criminal past, I would get married. Go home. File I-130 CR1 and do it that way. If you do the K1 visa, his criminal background is going to be a higher priority if you were to just do the CR1. CR1 they are more concerned with the non-citizen than they are the citizen. But PLEASE go home first and file your visa. You'll have a better chance if you go home and have the baby in your country and file for spousal visa. You can do a CRBA for the baby and they can get USC. At this point I'd take the AOS off the table. Just get married, go home, file CR1. Cheaper. Your delivery is paid for with your HMO in your home country and you're doing things the legal way. That seems to cover all the bases in a positive light.

[SennaBrigante 92]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone!

I wish I'll be able to explain all of this to my BF and his family without them being suspicious of my intentions or having hard feelings. I don't want them to think that I'm trying to separate baby and daddy for whatever reason.

I just want to do this thing right and 100% legit, no shortcuts and no BS. I don't want to be pregnant and have to worry about my AOS status, the baby, our finances and my emotions of being homesick. Stress is harmful for the baby and I just want to have a peaceful, relatively stress-free gestation and sadly for our situation, that means being away from my BF with him possibly not being there when the baby is born. But anything and everything for a healthy baby.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

At this point, based on the lying at the visitor visa interview about your intended purpose and your BFs criminal past, I would get married. Go home. File I-130 CR1 and do it that way. If you do the K1 visa, his criminal background is going to be a higher priority if you were to just do the CR1. CR1 they are more concerned with the non-citizen than they are the citizen. But PLEASE go home first and file your visa. You'll have a better chance if you go home and have the baby in your country and file for spousal visa. You can do a CRBA for the baby and they can get USC. At this point I'd take the AOS off the table. Just get married, go home, file CR1. Cheaper. Your delivery is paid for with your HMO in your home country and you're doing things the legal way. That seems to cover all the bases in a positive light.

Now that we have new pertinent information I will have to agree.

The reason if that if the AOS was not successful then a deport/ban could result. Yes?

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

The problem with lying about having a BF in the US in order to get a tourist visa is that it will follow you even if you go home and get a different visa. That is a safer path than AOS, but not guaranteed to be free of problems because of this. Presumably you also lied at POE to get into the country. If your lie is deemed to be the cover up of a material fact then you can be banned from the US for life.

The first thing you should learn about US immigration and the US in general is that we don't tolerate lying very much. Lying is very bad.

[amberlynnloves 125]

Now that we have new pertinent information I will have to agree.

The reason if that if the AOS was not successful then a deport/ban could result. Yes?

I think the world "could" should be more of a "would" word.