unemployment depression kicking in..

[ezzy 3]

2 months in, I'm still unemployed but hopeful.

My husband's story is different though. He got a job last May but got fired after a month (2 days after I arrived in the US) because he said a word that means "#######."

He's been looking since - submitted maybe 100 or more resumes all over the place but there were no takers. Lately, he's been depressed, or has mood swings, irritable, and been sighing a lot. We're living with his parents, since the plan was that we were gonna get a good job, get enough money for our own place,etc. Lately, his parents are starting to hint subtly that we should have jobs by now checking up on our jobhunting, yada yada...and this adds to his depression and negativity.

I don't know what to do or how to deal with a really depressed husband. Nothing I do cheers him up.

anyone have the same experience?

[Khan.usman 1]

2 months in, I'm still unemployed but hopeful.

My husband's story is different though. He got a job last May but got fired after a month (2 days after I arrived in the US) because he said a word that means "#######."

He's been looking since - submitted maybe 100 or more resumes all over the place but there were no takers. Lately, he's been depressed, or has mood swings, irritable, and been sighing a lot. We're living with his parents, since the plan was that we were gonna get a good job, get enough money for our own place,etc. Lately, his parents are starting to hint subtly that we should have jobs by now checking up on our jobhunting, yada yada...and this adds to his depression and negativity.

I don't know what to do or how to deal with a really depressed husband. Nothing I do cheers him up.

anyone have the same experience?

You just gotta have a good talk with him And tell him as long as he rely's on Allah swt (GOD the glorious) for Every need of his then there is no need to worry. Allah swt (GOD) is watching every thing and he hears every thought.

Tell him after every difficulty there is relief.

Notice in our lifes after every bad thing there is always something good that happens.

We just have to be patient and keep trying hard and do the best we can.

We humans are weak but we are capable of anything.

We can make it !

there is good ppl in this world.

All humans are brothers and sisters of one another.

Tell him he will be ok and tell him you trust him that he will do good, it takes time

I was loooking for a job since 2 months And i now just got a job, it takes time, but NEVER ever give up. tell him that.

And always look on the bright side at least we have food to eat

there are ppl who are starving.

at least we have arms and legs there are ppl without arms or legs.

were blessed if we really think about it. but ikno that even though were blessed we still feel depressed somtimes about life.

theres so meny things that go on, but just hold on and keep yur head up, excercise and get healthy becuase your health is your wealth.

Use your tme wisely, while he is looking for a job he should read books excercise clean set up an schdule to help him succed in life.

new ideas

new thoughts

new everything

just never give up , you too just pray for a better day.

Edited August 9, 2013 by Khan.usman

[christeen 966]

Take him and go in person to places to make applications... Sometimes it takes the right team being in the right place for them to hire you... Keep at it, something will come along! It's hard, but you guys are a pai and two is stronger than one.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Only your Husband can POP out of this. He seems to be spoiled by his parents and reliant upon them. Are you doing the same? That Yada Yada is a hint. I'm sure you love eachother and they care about you. Parents will always give "lib" when they interfere and sometime, rightfully so. I will stand by the Parents based upon your post.

[ezzy 3]

You just gotta have a good talk with him And tell him as long as he rely's on Allah swt (GOD the glorious) for Every need of his then there is no need to worry. Allah swt (GOD) is watching every thing and he hears every thought.

Tell him after every difficulty there is relief.

Notice in our lifes after every bad thing there is always something good that happens.

We just have to be patient and keep trying hard and do the best we can.

We humans are weak but we are capable of anything.

We can make it !

there is good ppl in this world.

All humans are brothers and sisters of one another.

Tell him he will be ok and tell him you trust him that he will do good, it takes time

I was loooking for a job since 2 months And i now just got a job, it takes time, but NEVER ever give up. tell him that.

And always look on the bright side at least we have food to eat

there are ppl who are starving.

at least we have arms and legs there are ppl without arms or legs.

were blessed if we really think about it. but ikno that even though were blessed we still feel depressed somtimes about life.

theres so meny things that go on, but just hold on and keep yur head up, excercise and get healthy becuase your health is your wealth.

Use your tme wisely, while he is looking for a job he should read books excercise clean set up an schdule to help him succed in life.

new ideas

new thoughts

new everything

just never give up , you too just pray for a better day.

thank you for the advise. i really had been trying to get him to be positive, offered encouragement but i just can't get through all the negativity he has

unfortunately, he's agnostic. :(

Take him and go in person to places to make applications... Sometimes it takes the right team being in the right place for them to hire you... Keep at it, something will come along! It's hard, but you guys are a pai and two is stronger than one.

thank you. it's really been hard to get employers to consider us - even if we have a decent amount of experience and education. i try to be a positive influence but there's little response.

Only your Husband can POP out of this. He seems to be spoiled by his parents and reliant upon them. Are you doing the same? That Yada Yada is a hint. I'm sure you love eachother and they care about you. Parents will always give "lib" when they interfere and sometime, rightfully so. I will stand by the Parents based upon your post.

thanks. well, his parents have been very supportive and they try to be encouraging. no, i don't think we are "holding on to momma's skirt," although they are the ones providing the food and shelter. as much as possible, we don't want hand-outs but there's nothing we can do for now since we are not employed.

**

today, we went to a county fair and i tried to make the experience fun but long story short, day was ruined.

i understand that the only way he can get through this is by having a job...might take a while. do relationships get ugly because of unemployment depression?

[Dan and Judy 614]

2 months in, I'm still unemployed but hopeful.

My husband's story is different though. He got a job last May but got fired after a month (2 days after I arrived in the US) because he said a word that means "#######."

He's been looking since - submitted maybe 100 or more resumes all over the place but there were no takers. Lately, he's been depressed, or has mood swings, irritable, and been sighing a lot. We're living with his parents, since the plan was that we were gonna get a good job, get enough money for our own place,etc. Lately, his parents are starting to hint subtly that we should have jobs by now checking up on our jobhunting, yada yada...and this adds to his depression and negativity.

I don't know what to do or how to deal with a really depressed husband. Nothing I do cheers him up.

anyone have the same experience?

Quite simply what will cheer him up is getting a job. If you live in the middle of detroit, then it might just be very hard to find a job. Are you guys trying any job?

like Mcdonalds for instance. Has he been getting interviews and then not being hired? You only mention resumes. Are you filling out applications?

There are two basic possibilities. #1 It is extremly difficult to get a job where you live or

#2 you are doing something wrong

Possibly you need to stay with different relatives where the job market is better.

[Ozz777 23]

I'd take him to the side and say, "look buddy, I love you, you're the man of my dreams, my hero, etc. But you brought me to a foreign country, promising a great future and undying love, yadayada, and you aren't doing any of that, and I'm beginning to feel very uncherished and unloved. Now it's time for you to buck up, be a man, stop having a pity party for yourself and get to work living up to your promises, before I slap the ####### out of you. "

[TBoneTX 45,234]

i understand that the only way he can get through this is by having a job [...]. do relationships get ugly because of unemployment depression?

The first sentence is probably accurate. As for the second sentence, relationships can most certainly be strained by unemployment depression. Men need something to do. Your man is probably triply stressed: no job; stuck living at home with the parents; unable to support a new foreign bride.

As hard as it is when he's this discouraged, get him to send resumes, fill out applications, and look for more every day. Get him to an employment counselor who can double-check his credentials, presentation in person and "on paper," etc. Just avoid letting him slip more deeply into depression, at all costs.

Edited August 11, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,234]

*** Thread moved from "Moving Here & Your New Life" forum to "Finding Work in America" forum -- topic is more applicable there. ***

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

...., before I slap the ####### out of you. "

I realise you meant this as a figure of speech, but we have many cases on here where members were subjected to domestic violence, so please be careful how you express yourself.

[Ozz777 23]

I realise you meant this as a figure of speech, but we have many cases on here where members were subjected to domestic violence, so please be careful how you express yourself.

I meant something like this;

Oh forget it, I guess links don't work from my phone.

Edited August 12, 2013 by Ozz777

[ezzy 3]

thanks everyone.

we had an honest conversation a few days ago and we basically, at least for now, got him hopeful and undepressed. just wanna thank you guys for the support and advise.

xx

[TBoneTX 45,234]

thanks everyone.

we had an honest conversation a few days ago and we basically, at least for now, got him hopeful and undepressed. just wanna thank you guys for the support and advise.

xx

That's good news, si man. Keep us apprised!

[lindenTree 5]

I want to add a 3rd possibility to Dan and Judy 's post. Why don't you check the last company which he fired. I really don't know in which stage employee's call for reference to previous companies but do you think is there any possibility like that? i don't want to be skeptical, if anyone knows this process pls correct me./

[fcat 79]

You say he was depressed and you had a good chat and got him "undpressed". Depression isnt like that, its an illness and like any illness it needs treatment, if he truly is depressed them you need to look into getting him some help, doing what someone suggested above and telling him to pull himself together will be no help whatsoever if he is truly depressed, in fact, it'll work the opposite way.

If he's just feeling down and being sorry for himself then that's a different story.