He abandoned me

[NickD 203]

When my wife first met me and showed a very strong interest, and I an interest in her. She requested that I email her a copy of my divorce papers, that I did with a request she email a copy of hers. Was a good way to start off a relationship.

Another is that we have a web cam conversation so we could meet together face to face, not easy to fake that. For all we knew, could be chatting with a 13 year old pimpled face kid. This went on for nine months, then I made the bad mistake of saying, don't you think its time we meet? Over that time we developed a very strong platonic relationship, but meeting face to face is when our misery began, having to be separated for long periods of time due to the immigration process.

[mamaSue 38]

Samiha.... I think the most positive thing in this situation is that you found out what he's like before you moved to the US to be with him.

You seem intelligent and articulate.....and the world's full of good men who will give you the life you deserve.

I'm sure your family will be supportive when you tell them the situation.

Have a happy and peaceful Eid... and best of luck for the future.

[Faycel and Renee 30]

hey everyone, am desperate, stressful, and unhappy, I have had real problems with the man I have married with since he left after our marriage in my country, starting by this visa process witch he wanted first to apply in a local office fiancé visa and to wait for 3 or 2 months before we apply for it because like he said the agency help a lot to have the wanted visa in a short time , he stopped the contact with me , while he understood I liked more the normal way with no agency or lawyer he stopped contacting me and answering my calls for almost 20 days and in the end after 4 months we applied for my visa, and got approved after 3 months , I was the one who send

forms to him to complete, making research, he dint show any effort since he didn’t apply for the visa the way he wanted first, he even tried and made purposed mistakes on forms at nvc stage while he feel mad, he told me this truth, I was surprised getting mistake checklists especially while we complete together online everything correct

He lied a lot, he lied about his divorce date witch I discovered while I have read some translated document, I discovered I was dating with him while he was legally still married (separated) with his ex wife which I didn’t like, and I forgave him, he said he have not been aware regarding his divorce date, I never expected from him to lie or change, especially after the big effort I made to make my family accept my marriage Due to differences in customs and traditions and religion,

Last time we have been chatting together, exchanging ideas concerning Islam and Ramadan one moment I felt he may felt am trying to test him or to know how much and why he reverted to Islam to marry me , we disconnected , and stop contacting each other , I have called him , and I got no answer .I felt desperate , tired and bored of the initiative to contact always, i stopped contacting him, and now 1 month i get no call from him or email, witch it never happened before marriage and during our relationship since 2009 , now i realized he is not going to call back anymore, especially after when i got my interview date and he got email too with the same info from nvc ; and after our first marriage anniversary witch it was few days ago, am in very difficult situation, i have not seen him from last year, and i see no affection and love like before , I can not shock my family after 1 year waiting for weeding and leave, that the man I chose was just a mistake in my life , and he abandoned me. i asked before for a divorce while i have seen how much he changed and how much i don’t feel happy with him like before but he refused

can you advice me , what do i have to do, my interview day is coming ,and i have no idea what i have to do, i was just thinking i may revoke this upcoming interview ,and this visa process !!! i don’t know what to do, call someone from his family ?Call him again ? He doesn’t answer! Thanks for advice,

Sorry to hear about your situation but its obvious that he is playing you. I wouldnt doubt that he is with another female and is just stalling for time, or (giving him the benefit of doubt) he has some issues that are making him feel overwhelmed and kinda in a bad situation himself. If he really loved you then he would make it a point to assist you in this process. Reality is this: if you are having all these issues now, how will they be when you get here? I would move on and file a divorce/anullment and find someone that will love and respect you cause you arent getting it from him. I wish you the best of luck.

[Utha 10]

Happy Eid to you Samiha. I am sorry about your situation.

It is still good that you still in your home country and you found about him while you there. It will be hard, it won't be easy especially when family already know about it. I know it will be hard, but dont continue your marriage is best solution i think. It is like when you buy shoes at store and not fit, mean even when we take it home, it still won't fit. Same like him. He gave you trouble in early time, mean he might do it next. One who really loves us, always find a way to keep in touch with us. No matter what.

It should become a lesson for you, tobe careful in future about man. Hugs. Be strong. Be patient. My pray with you, Sweetie.

[HollyGolightly 72]

Samiha, may the choicest blessings of Allah fill your life with hope, joy and prosperity. Eid Mubarak!

Look ahead and be happy at the prospects of starting your life anew. Life is good and you will be fine.

[Darnell 8,479]

Guess I also have a language barrier problem.

OK. When I read things here, usually I will read them twice, for understanding.

You could choose to do the same, before piling on the anecdotal stuff from your life, in response to any poster here at VJ.

Specifically for this topic, IMO, you've gotten a lot of things 'wrong' and are adding in useless noise trying to make a connection, via regurgitation of your anecdotal stuff, to the OP.

When ya get it wrong, and do this, who benefits?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

OK. When I read things here, usually I will read them twice, for understanding.

You could choose to do the same, before piling on the anecdotal stuff from your life, in response to any poster here at VJ.

Specifically for this topic, IMO, you've gotten a lot of things 'wrong' and are adding in useless noise trying to make a connection, via regurgitation of your anecdotal stuff, to the OP.

When ya get it wrong, and do this, who benefits?

Too soon for a hijack. The OP is still responding, seems to have a plan of action, and is still getting support from other members.

[Darnell 8,479]

ya, agreed.

---

back to the OP.

you have a coupla choices, for how to interact with the IV Unit. You can:

1. email/telephone/fax/postal mail prior to interview date, withdrawing your visa application,stating future divorce from petitioner or

2. show up on interview day, tell the Vice-Consul during the interview that you are choosing to withdraw your visa application .

[samiha 3]

When my wife first met me and showed a very strong interest, and I an interest in her. She requested that I email her a copy of my divorce papers, that I did with a request she email a copy of hers. Was a good way to start off a relationship.

Another is that we have a web cam conversation so we could meet together face to face, not easy to fake that. For all we knew, could be chatting with a 13 year old pimpled face kid. This went on for nine months, then I made the bad mistake of saying, don't you think its time we meet? Over that time we developed a very strong platonic relationship, but meeting face to face is when our misery began, having to be separated for long periods of time due to the immigration process.

Thank you Nick happy to read other nice text from you, when i have met the first time the man i married with , i trusted him, may be because i have not had enough relationship in my life (in reality and online as well ), ! i dont know, i just trusted him but i have not trusted anything, i knew he can lie if he want since im living far away from him , i have not requested anything, the first day we met online we had along talk (video chat) over the cam i knew he is living alone, and he still live alone

[samiha 3]

Samiha.... I think the most positive thing in this situation is that you found out what he's like before you moved to the US to be with him.

You seem intelligent and articulate.....and the world's full of good men who will give you the life you deserve.

I'm sure your family will be supportive when you tell them the situation.

Have a happy and peaceful Eid... and best of luck for the future.

Have a happy eid mamasue and thanks for your nice comment

[samiha 3]

Sorry to hear about your situation but its obvious that he is playing you. I wouldnt doubt that he is with another female and is just stalling for time, or (giving him the benefit of doubt) he has some issues that are making him feel overwhelmed and kinda in a bad situation himself. If he really loved you then he would make it a point to assist you in this process. Reality is this: if you are having all these issues now, how will they be when you get here? I would move on and file a divorce/anullment and find someone that will love and respect you cause you arent getting it from him. I wish you the best of luck.

thank you , this is exactly what im thinking about

[samiha 3]

Happy Eid to you Samiha. I am sorry about your situation.

It is still good that you still in your home country and you found about him while you there. It will be hard, it won't be easy especially when family already know about it. I know it will be hard, but dont continue your marriage is best solution i think. It is like when you buy shoes at store and not fit, mean even when we take it home, it still won't fit. Same like him. He gave you trouble in early time, mean he might do it next. One who really loves us, always find a way to keep in touch with us. No matter what.

It should become a lesson for you, tobe careful in future about man. Hugs. Be strong. Be patient. My pray with you, Sweetie.

thank you utha you gave me a very nice example, i'll never forgt it, pray for me

Samiha, may the choicest blessings of Allah fill your life with hope, joy and prosperity. Eid Mubarak!

Look ahead and be happy at the prospects of starting your life anew. Life is good and you will be fine.

thank you, i'll

[samiha 3]

thank you darnell, your help is appreciated

Edited August 9, 2013 by samiha

[NickD 203]

OK. When I read things here, usually I will read them twice, for understanding.

You could choose to do the same, before piling on the anecdotal stuff from your life, in response to any poster here at VJ.

Specifically for this topic, IMO, you've gotten a lot of things 'wrong' and are adding in useless noise trying to make a connection, via regurgitation of your anecdotal stuff, to the OP.

When ya get it wrong, and do this, who benefits?

At least samiha appreciated my advice, simple fact of the matter, its easy to get married, but divorce is a terrible ordeal to go through. And the only test of compatibility for any couple is time. Call that an advantage of dealing with immigration doing it the proper way to learn if those long waits, a couple will stick it out.

I don't see you offering any good advice, and apparently a person with a heavy chip on your shoulder, and my comments were directed to her, and not to you.

Other issues involve each of the the two should meet each others family, don't recall samiha even coming here to meet her husbands family, and also there is a culture shock. Then is his street paved with gold or some kind of hellhole. Other woman that came here learned quickly they won't be persons, just salves. To bad she didn't read other sections of what other women went through by coming here.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Samiha,

Ever thought about telling your family you were simply denied visa and invoke that as a reason for divorce?