need advice on my situation. its nuclear.

[Cathi 5,748]

you may love her, love clouds logical thinking, but she does NOT love you. What happens when she gets here divorces you and petitions the baby daddy? Because she will

[Christi85 86]

I won't repeat what everyone else has said because I just agree with everyone else. She sounds like a scam and is definitely using you to get to the US. The fact that she's pregnant with another man speaks volumes, even if it was really a casual relationship as she's trying to present it.

I too suggest you run away now while you still can, but since you asked how this could affect your petition and if you're really determined to pursue it further, here is some pointers:

1) if she gets an abortion, nothing will likely change. USCIS officers will never find out about that pregnancy. That doesn't mean your case will be approved - it may or it may not, depending on the strength of your evidence, but her pregnancy will not be known to them, hence not an issue to consider.

2) if she keeps the baby, even if you decide to accept it as your own and father etc. etc. you may be in serious trouble with your petition. It's easier than you think for USCIS to find out that she's lying - that you're both lying. They'll simply ask how far along she is when she goes in for her interview. They will most likely look at her medical to confirm what she's saying is true and that she's not trying to cover up her due date and all that. And then they will count backwards to figure out when the baby was conceived and will want proof that you two were together when that happened - either in the US or in her country or some other third country. But together. You will not be able to present such proof, thus it will be obvious that she conceived the baby with someone else, and that will be the end of your K1 journey. It's actually interesting how much clarity a pregnancy can bring to an immigration case. If the couple conceives their baby with each other and can prove they were together at the time, then they have a very strong case in their favor and an approval is most likely. If there is a pregnancy that occured outside the relationship on the other hand, then it's clear to the Officers that this case can not and should not be approved.

But I suggest you don't concern your mind with any of the above now. I suggest you run away as fast as you can, while you still can. All the best!

[Alex&Iris 9]

I'm not even sure where to start with this.

I guess that i am looking for what my options are in this situation...so heres the situation.

Finacee and I filed our 2nd attempt at the K-1 process ( first failed due to a paperwork mistake) Our NOA 1 is March 28th. 2013

We have had troubles as everyone has with our relationship..always worked thru them. I had a feeling for a long time somethng was going on that she was seeing another man. On her last visit she was different than on our first...simply put i would she seemed distant. Im very sensitive to any changes so i pick up on everything...this was huge. I did my research, found evidence confirming my suspicions.

Confronted her about it finally..she made excuses that he was a friend who was in love with her and chasing her doing all that stuff. I have faith in her so i accepted that..yeah i know.

Alright so cutting out all the gory details fast forward...i again found evidence something as going on. Finally got her to admit she was screwing around. Ok i can accept that we all make mistakes..so we worked thru it but still i was getting big negative vibes.

So yeah last night i told her i was wanting to come to Lithuania to see her. (she had actaully suggested it a few weeks earlier) She said i shouldnt. Here it comes....i asked her why and she told me she is 6 weeks pregnant. x_x. by that same guy.

She said she made a huge mistake that it was accident etc. She said she loves me and still wants to be only with me.

I still want to make this work. I really do love her with all my heart and soul.

My question..what are my options now with my petition potentially being approved soon?

I guess im asking what do i do now? with a pregnant fiancee with not my baby how does this change things in the process.

My brain is fried so im having trouble figuring out things myself..really need help.

Thanks everyone

When I met my fiance the first time we went through a similar situation... No baby involved... I agree with you people make mistake but now you have to be carefull one either she is with you for a green card or two she really made a mistake... I tested Alex by living there with him for a year... I told him I was not going to have a long distance relationship, I refused to especially after his mistake... I told him if he really wanted to be with me he would need live with me there and that we could build a home there (not an easy task for me as I was born and raised in the US... And in a third world country) ... He agreed and he really proved himself he is still proving himself its been a roller coaster we are almost going on 4 yrs together and now stronger then ever.... I truly hope this helps and that your heart may be at peace....it is sad that there are people that would do or say anything to get to this country.... It's up to you not to let anyone use you... As for the baby if she truly proves to love you than be a father because an old saying says , "fertilizing an egg does not make a father, raising that child as your own does! Best of luck to you.

[MFC87 2]

It is time to walk away. It will hurt but trust me, it is better to be in pain for one day than everyday of your life. I have a plenty of friends with lying/cheating Ex and not a single relationship worked out. If you want, pm me and I will have you talk to one of them.

She will cry, call you with all those lovey dovey names and make you fall into her trap but just walk away. You don't need to confront her anymore or give her chance to explain herself. She willingly did this, she wasn't forced so it was completely her fault. you will find someone who is right for you. She is just not the one.

Here is what you do:

1-Don't reply to her emails/messages/phone calls

2-Don't read her messages or listen to her voicemails (they will make you weak and you need to be strong)

3-Call USCIS and drop your case

4-Call a couple of your close friends and go to the beach or camping for a weekend (with no technology, I mean you can have it but don't use just incase of an emergency) and just relax

Edited August 7, 2013 by MFC87

[G+A 5]

Thanks everyone for your insight..I definitly can see where most everyone is comming from here. And i would give the same advice if i was asked about this situation. and here it comes the but. We have been together for 4 years i helped her a lot thru those years in heard times finacially and emotionally. But something interesting is around the time something was going on she wouldnt accept any financial help from me..none.

Anyway, Im taking a chance probobly the biggest of my life. I'm putting my faith in her that she is not trying to scam me. I just cant let this go if there is any chance i accept responsibility for whatever happens to me. If she keeps that baby i dont see much chance for her being able to come here. Time will tell all..Oh btw approved yesterday August 6th..LOL

Thanks everyone again you were very helpful even if im as stubborn as an ###.

[Scot_Roselyn 7]

Once a cheater always a cheater. No matter how much you love this woman, she will continue to take advantage of you and manipulate the situation to her advantage. Call it quits send the letter to the USCIS and stop the process. There are other women who are dedicated and committed enough to know when they have a good man in thier life. Move on. Dont subject yourself to a lifelong commitment of mistakes if you bring her here and get married.

Scot

[Calicolom 266]

She will mop the Floor with you.

[haboosh 3]

You are crazy, one day you will cry a lot for not listing to all these advices here. use your mind for thinking.

[Neonred 3,562]

Thanks everyone for your insight..I definitly can see where most everyone is comming from here. And i would give the same advice if i was asked about this situation. and here it comes the but. We have been together for 4 years i helped her a lot thru those years in heard times finacially and emotionally. But something interesting is around the time something was going on she wouldnt accept any financial help from me..none.

Anyway, Im taking a chance probobly the biggest of my life. I'm putting my faith in her that she is not trying to scam me. I just cant let this go if there is any chance i accept responsibility for whatever happens to me. If she keeps that baby i dont see much chance for her being able to come here. Time will tell all..Oh btw approved yesterday August 6th..LOL

Thanks everyone again you were very helpful even if im as stubborn as an ####.

You have been given good advice but refuse to accept it. You have a rough road ahead and you deserve what you get.

Good luck.

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

i helped her a lot thru those years in heard times finacially and emotionally.

What has she done for you? Relationships are a two way street....

[GabiZ 0]

She was and is using you, believe me. Marriage with you is only the only way to come to USA legally. She knows you are in love with her and she uses you. When you really love somebody you can not even think about sex with anyone else, because you want to be with your beloved person. She enjoyed time with other man, he did not rape her , she wanted to have sex with him - its good evidence, that she doesn't love you. Its up to you to make decisions but I am from here and know how young woman think here. Sometimes hearts to make some decisions but later you will not regret....

[GabiZ 0]

hurts not hearts... I make mistakes, sorry

[godlove 29]

With everything you've said, its obvious this woman does not love you neither does she respect you, no woman who loves and respects her fiance/husband will ever screw around with another man and to even get pregnant by him, that alone tells you that this has been going on for a long time under your nose because she did not get pregnant the 1st time. Trust me once a cheater is always a cheater, do yourself a favor and move on with your life without this woman, I believe you can do better and its better now than 20 years later you find out that none of your kids belongs to biologically . People make mistakes but some mistakes are unacceptable. This woman does not want you and she is probably using you to come here and once she becomes a citizen she will divorce you file for her lover the father of her kids. Please think twice, dont be in love and stupid at the same time, she cheated on you,lied about it, got pregnant by another man and your still willing to work it out?. Marriage should be built on trust and there is obviously no trust on this one. Getting pregnant by another man is shameful and a big slap to you face. This woman is not the one for you and your not the one for her and God is trying to prove it to you. Am sorry that your going through this and the only way this mistake can be fixed is by you withdrawing your petition not by worrying if she will be approved or if she will have an abortion, if she will ever change, or if you will ever trust her again. Don't make life difficult for yourself.

[CrazyRide 2]

Thanks everyone for your insight..I definitly can see where most everyone is comming from here. And i would give the same advice if i was asked about this situation. and here it comes the but. We have been together for 4 years i helped her a lot thru those years in heard times finacially and emotionally. But something interesting is around the time something was going on she wouldnt accept any financial help from me..none.

Anyway, Im taking a chance probobly the biggest of my life. I'm putting my faith in her that she is not trying to scam me. I just cant let this go if there is any chance i accept responsibility for whatever happens to me. If she keeps that baby i dont see much chance for her being able to come here. Time will tell all..Oh btw approved yesterday August 6th..LOL

Thanks everyone again you were very helpful even if im as stubborn as an ####.

Since it looks like you are still convinced you need to bring here over here, why don't you talk to some of your family or someone you trust about the issue? Its one thing to hear it from a bunch of strangers, but if you tell your case to someone you know and trust, and they come up with the same conclusion, maybe that will help you cut ties. Also, maybe you can delay the petition? I know you have waited 4 years, but what's another year or the very least 6 months, just to see where things go. I think under the circumstances you might want to at the very least delay things a bit, see what develops, and with time you might see things differently.

-Pat

[YuAndQiao 3]

G+A...no offense intended but GET OUT of that relationship (which it isn't any longer). You deserve better.

Good luck.