Sundayyyy

[sarah and hicham 3]

I believe the term "boyfriend Islam" was used recently and I think it's rampant here.

I don't think it's "islam" to have a boyfriend. Dating is definitely frowned upo n.

haha I don't even know what that means... "I don't think it's 'Islam' to have a boyfriend"

Did you read about boyfriend Islam from szsz the other day? She explained what it means.

I meant it is not permitted for a muslim to have a boyfriend. I thought it was pretty obvious but obviously not to all. No I didn't read what szsz wrote.

What are the internet relationships? not boyfriends? or long-distance boyfriends?

I am wondering the same thing. So you weren't boyfriend girlfriend with your now fiance before you became engaged over the internet?

[Bosco 1]

I reverted to Islam months before meeting Mohammed. He has a hard time explaining things to me about our religion, so you could call my learning "internet islam".

Jackie

Hey with all this talk about peaches, I'm thinking to bake a peach pie want some?

Do you accept what you read at face value or do you think about it/question it? SZSZ defined boyfriend Islam as accepting what is told without question.

[doodlebug 3]

I believe the term "boyfriend Islam" was used recently and I think it's rampant here.

I don't think it's "islam" to have a boyfriend. Dating is definitely frowned upo n.

haha I don't even know what that means... "I don't think it's 'Islam' to have a boyfriend"

Did you read about boyfriend Islam from szsz the other day? She explained what it means.

I meant it is not permitted for a muslim to have a boyfriend. I thought it was pretty obvious but obviously not to all. No I didn't read what szsz wrote.

What are the internet relationships? not boyfriends? or long-distance boyfriends?

I'd consider him a boyfriend but it's haram for us to be talking on the phone and via the net. I accept that but I can't stop since we started doing it before I became muslim.

"Boyfriend Islam is believing whatever your Muslim boyfriend tells you about Islam without checking it out for yourself."

from szsz I believe this was discussed in the "muslim marriage tips" thread.

I just can't imagine meeting my Muslim internet boyfriend, becoming immediately engaged, converting to Islam during that perdiod then having him convince me to wear hijab.

I guess I just can't relate with some people here.

If you're referring to me I was not immediately engaged.

I definitely check everything myself so I can't relate to that either.

[Bosco 1]

I'd consider him a boyfriend but it's haram for us to be talking on the phone and via the net. I accept that but I can't stop since we started doing it before I became muslim.

I am confused What does this mean? I thought you gave up alcohol because you became Muslim and it is haram? If something is done before converting, it can continue because it started before? I am totally lost

[doodlebug 3]

I'd consider him a boyfriend but it's haram for us to be talking on the phone and via the net. I accept that but I can't stop since we started doing it before I became muslim.

I am confused What does this mean? I thought you gave up alcohol because you became Muslim and it is haram? If something is done before converting, it can continue because it started before? I am totally lost

Do you seriously equate giving up alcohol with giving up communicating with a man with whom you've formed a relationship? I think that's a stretch to say the least.

[Bosco 1]

I'd consider him a boyfriend but it's haram for us to be talking on the phone and via the net. I accept that but I can't stop since we started doing it before I became muslim.

I am confused What does this mean? I thought you gave up alcohol because you became Muslim and it is haram? If something is done before converting, it can continue because it started before? I am totally lost

Do you seriously equate giving up alcohol with giving up communicating with a man with whom you've formed a relationship? I think that's a stretch to say the least.

Correct me if I am wrong but not that many posts up you said

ok not to prolong the Sunday thread but I just don't get that at all. Maybe because I'm a black/white type of girl. If there's a hadith to prove that this or that is ok then I can see the grey area but this just do what you want thing doesn't sit right for me. Maybe it works for others but I wouldn't feel right.

and then you said boyfriends are haram but you have one. So are there shades of wrong with alcohol outweighing male/female relationships? Or do you sometimes do what you want?

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

i'm sooooooooo confused

[doodlebug 3]

I'd consider him a boyfriend but it's haram for us to be talking on the phone and via the net. I accept that but I can't stop since we started doing it before I became muslim.

I am confused What does this mean? I thought you gave up alcohol because you became Muslim and it is haram? If something is done before converting, it can continue because it started before? I am totally lost

Do you seriously equate giving up alcohol with giving up communicating with a man with whom you've formed a relationship? I think that's a stretch to say the least.

Correct me if I am wrong but not that many posts up you said

ok not to prolong the Sunday thread but I just don't get that at all. Maybe because I'm a black/white type of girl. If there's a hadith to prove that this or that is ok then I can see the grey area but this just do what you want thing doesn't sit right for me. Maybe it works for others but I wouldn't feel right.

and then you said boyfriends are haram but you have one. So are there shades of wrong with alcohol outweighing male/female relationships? Or do you sometimes do what you want?

Do you have a problem with me or are you just picking on me because you're Sarah's friend. I'm actually sick of this conversation.

When things are black and white and I can prevent them then I will do my best to do so. Giving up alcohol is an easy thing to obey. Giving up an entire relationship is not, unless you're totally cold hearted. Not wearing hijaab is haram in my opinion that I formed not just from Usama's convincing arguments but also from certain hadiths that I have read. I'm still not wearing it but I"m getting there. I'm striving for perfection but I'm not now nor will I ever be perfect.

But to just outright say that you can do whatever the heck you want just so long as you "feel" you're alright with God is something I am not comfortable with.

I think I've officially been pigpiled on and now I know why a few posters are missing lately. I didn't understand before but now I do. Thanks for the reminder;)

[peezey 0]

I'd consider him a boyfriend but it's haram for us to be talking on the phone and via the net. I accept that but I can't stop since we started doing it before I became muslim.

I am confused What does this mean? I thought you gave up alcohol because you became Muslim and it is haram? If something is done before converting, it can continue because it started before? I am totally lost

Do you seriously equate giving up alcohol with giving up communicating with a man with whom you've formed a relationship? I think that's a stretch to say the least.

Correct me if I am wrong but not that many posts up you said

ok not to prolong the Sunday thread but I just don't get that at all. Maybe because I'm a black/white type of girl. If there's a hadith to prove that this or that is ok then I can see the grey area but this just do what you want thing doesn't sit right for me. Maybe it works for others but I wouldn't feel right.

and then you said boyfriends are haram but you have one. So are there shades of wrong with alcohol outweighing male/female relationships? Or do you sometimes do what you want?

Do you have a problem with me or are you just picking on me because you're Sarah's friend. I'm actually sick of this conversation.

When things are black and white and I can prevent them then I will do my best to do so. Giving up alcohol is an easy thing to obey. Giving up an entire relationship is not, unless you're totally cold hearted. Not wearing hijaab is haram in my opinion that I formed not just from Usama's convincing arguments but also from certain hadiths that I have read. I'm still not wearing it but I"m getting there. I'm striving for perfection but I'm not now nor will I ever be perfect.

But to just outright say that you can do whatever the heck you want just so long as you "feel" you're alright with God is something I am not comfortable with.

I think I've officially been pigpiled on and now I know why a few posters are missing lately. I didn't understand before but now I do. Thanks for the reminder;)

I think the point is to show that just because you see alcohol haram/halal as black & white, others might see extra marital relationships/boyfriends just as black and white.

The point being that your religion is interpreted by you, not by us, so no matter what you think about what is black and white is not the same as your sisters, for example, and it is not your place to judge them and their relationship with god, nor is it their place to judge you for your choices.

Again, this segment started with you wanting to understand something, some of us explaining why there will be differences, and then you interjecting that our explanation doesn't sit right with you when things are "black and white" yet you then make choices inside your religion re: boyfriends. No one is judging you but trying to point out to you how it is there are, and always will be a different Islam for as many Muslims as there are on the planet.

Edited December 5, 2006 by peezey

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

I think I've officially been pigpiled on and now I know why a few posters are missing lately. I didn't understand before but now I do. Thanks for the reminder;)

it's not easy being the flavor of the month. i've been there before

[~Jackie~ 30]

I was Flavor of the Week once. Can we all agree to disagree?

Jackie

[Bosco 1]

I'd consider him a boyfriend but it's haram for us to be talking on the phone and via the net. I accept that but I can't stop since we started doing it before I became muslim.

I am confused What does this mean? I thought you gave up alcohol because you became Muslim and it is haram? If something is done before converting, it can continue because it started before? I am totally lost

Do you seriously equate giving up alcohol with giving up communicating with a man with whom you've formed a relationship? I think that's a stretch to say the least.

Correct me if I am wrong but not that many posts up you said

ok not to prolong the Sunday thread but I just don't get that at all. Maybe because I'm a black/white type of girl. If there's a hadith to prove that this or that is ok then I can see the grey area but this just do what you want thing doesn't sit right for me. Maybe it works for others but I wouldn't feel right.

and then you said boyfriends are haram but you have one. So are there shades of wrong with alcohol outweighing male/female relationships? Or do you sometimes do what you want?

Do you have a problem with me or are you just picking on me because you're Sarah's friend. I'm actually sick of this conversation.

When things are black and white and I can prevent them then I will do my best to do so. Giving up alcohol is an easy thing to obey. Giving up an entire relationship is not, unless you're totally cold hearted. Not wearing hijaab is haram in my opinion that I formed not just from Usama's convincing arguments but also from certain hadiths that I have read. I'm still not wearing it but I"m getting there. I'm striving for perfection but I'm not now nor will I ever be perfect.

But to just outright say that you can do whatever the heck you want just so long as you "feel" you're alright with God is something I am not comfortable with.

I think I've officially been pigpiled on and now I know why a few posters are missing lately. I didn't understand before but now I do. Thanks for the reminder;)

I have no problem with you. I am questioning your own words. I don't consider that picking or pigpiling on you; I would consider it questioning contradictory points of view you have posted in a short span of time.

I started out by saying that Muslims are VERY different. You talked about things being black/white and how that may work for others but not you. Then you discussed boyfriends being haram but how you have one - defined as haram by your very own interpretation, not mine. Your boyfriend has been Muslim all along right, but he was chatting with you and that is haram (again by your definition)? Is that very different than Sarah's husband drinking alcohol?

This isn't about judgement, not by me anyway. I am a firm believer that people need to establish their own relationships with God, and define that relationship themselves. However, you brought black and white and questioned how people could do that and how you couldn't. And it is picking on you to point this out?

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

I was Flavor of the Week once. Can we all agree to disagree?

Jackie

no! just kidding

[mybackpages 0]

Also Doodle if you want to know if alcohol is halal or haram then why did you ask if Hicham drinks to find out?

As I said, Sarah, I wanted to know if there was a loophole since I miss my white wine. I don't know any practicing muslims that drink but then again I'm new and for all I knew it could perhaps be a more controversial issue such as whether to veil or not. Don't worry...I won't be asking you any more questions lest you snap at me again. Enough people have let me know the scoop on if there is leeway on it. Thanks hon...you're a peach.

Not sure how many Muslims you know, but I know a decent amount that "practice" and drink alcohol. I think "practice" is relative too. I personal think it is up to the individual to define whether or not they are practicing their faith.

ETA: Some of the Muslims that drink include those that are recognizable by name that you see on television and are considered by some to be spokespeople for reform.

There was this great story told in the film Le Grande Voyage. A Sufi was asked if wine was allowed. He answered "it depends on how great your soul is." Pour a glass of win in to a bowl of water and the color of the water changes. Pour a glass of wine in the ocean and the ocean looks the same.

There are muslims who drink who would be horrified to hear someone refer to them as "non-religious" or "non-practicing." The same goes for lots of things....eating halal, praying, etc.

I am one of those- horrified to hear anyone decide who is Muslim and who is not.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Doodle just because Bosco and I share the same opinions doesn't mean anyone is ganging up on you. I have repeatedy seen you post about alcohol, whether or not ####### sex is ok, and wearing hijab partly because your fiance wants you to. Are we not allowed to question anything you say?

You say you strive for perfection as a Muslim. I think that's great. But as a new convert do you think it's appropriate to be questioning the actions of another Muslim? I think you need to worry more about yourself and whether or not you have a "bad egg" on your hands.

I still think it's too funny that you asked if Hicham drinks. You opened this can of worms on yourself, sowwwwwwwwwie.

Nighty night peaches!

Sarah