help me plz,,,my fiance s gone

[karlasoul 0]

i am new here with such a sad and unbelievable storyi have no idea where to start from.our story was a fairy tail ,,,a love story that started online and ended up here in the us.after a long and tiresome k1 procedure we managed to get together and finally my dream come true as the love of my life made it to the usa.however,and when i thought that the happiness is finally on our side ,things took another shape and misunderstandings showed up and our life together became something i have never expected.anyway after all that he run away and went somewhere else . we haven t get married yet and i am so confused now that i don t know what to do .

does he have the right to stay here away from me ??? does he have the right work ??? i m so afraid he ll meet somebody else "that would kill me " in that case does he have the right to marry her??? what about his status here ????

please i m in a desperate need of an advice....thank you

[rubyshoes 0]

i am new here with such a sad and unbelievable storyi have no idea where to start from.our story was a fairy tail ,,,a love story that started online and ended up here in the us.after a long and tiresome k1 procedure we managed to get together and finally my dream come true as the love of my life made it to the usa.however,and when i thought that the happiness is finally on our side ,things took another shape and misunderstandings showed up and our life together became something i have never expected.anyway after all that he run away and went somewhere else . we haven t get married yet and i am so confused now that i don t know what to do .

does he have the right to stay here away from me ??? does he have the right work ??? i m so afraid he ll meet somebody else "that would kill me " in that case does he have the right to marry her??? what about his status here ????

please i m in a desperate need of an advice....thank you

If it would kill you that he met someone else I would suggest that you get therapy. If he cmes back I suggest you both get therapy. Remember if you signed the affadavit of support you are responsible

[Saddle Bronc 124]

i am new here with such a sad and unbelievable storyi have no idea where to start from.our story was a fairy tail ,,,a love story that started online and ended up here in the us.after a long and tiresome k1 procedure we managed to get together and finally my dream come true as the love of my life made it to the usa.however,and when i thought that the happiness is finally on our side ,things took another shape and misunderstandings showed up and our life together became something i have never expected.anyway after all that he run away and went somewhere else . we haven t get married yet and i am so confused now that i don t know what to do .

does he have the right to stay here away from me ??? does he have the right work ???

While he has the RIGHT to stay away from you, it is only for 90 days; and the right to work--yes (same period) if he entered at JFK and got the 90-day EAD.

i m so afraid he ll meet somebody else "that would kill me " in that case does he have the right to marry her??? what about his status here ????

No, he has to marry the petitioner OR leave the US within the 90 days. Legal for the 90 days, illegal afterwards.

[Mags 112]

Unless he marries you he has no status...

You've obviously gone through the whole K-1 process, I would have thought you would have known a bit more about it than you appear to at the moment...

[edsperfect 25]

Unless he marries you he has no status...

You've obviously gone through the whole K-1 process, I would have thought you would have known a bit more about it than you appear to at the moment...

First thing you should do is contact immigrations and explain the whole thing to them. This might protect you if you ever try to get another K1. *I can only assume he had no intention of marrying you in yher first place but just wanted to get into the USA

[Alex+R 0]

If it would kill you that he met someone else I would suggest that you get therapy. If he cmes back I suggest you both get therapy. Remember if you signed the affadavit of support you are responsible

The I-134 is not all that legally binding. And it only lasts 90 days.

You are no longer responsible after that.

OP, I'm sorry this has happened to you.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

i am new here with such a sad and unbelievable storyi have no idea where to start from.our story was a fairy tail ,,,a love story that started online and ended up here in the us.after a long and tiresome k1 procedure we managed to get together and finally my dream come true as the love of my life made it to the usa.however,and when i thought that the happiness is finally on our side ,things took another shape and misunderstandings showed up and our life together became something i have never expected.anyway after all that he run away and went somewhere else . we haven t get married yet and i am so confused now that i don t know what to do .

does he have the right to stay here away from me ??? does he have the right work ??? i m so afraid he ll meet somebody else "that would kill me " in that case does he have the right to marry her??? what about his status here ????

please i m in a desperate need of an advice....thank you

If it would kill you that he met someone else I would suggest that you get therapy. If he cmes back I suggest you both get therapy. Remember if you signed the affadavit of support you are responsible

Be nice! It's quite clear that the OP is going through an emotional time, and is seeking support and assistance and oftentimes in those situations it's quite common for some to exaggerate.

karlasoul,

What I think that rubyshoes means to say is that if, indeed, your fiancé left without informing you or without working through issues, although it might come as some sort of heartbreak to you right now, think carefully about whether if the situation were reverse, would you or could you up and leave someone you loved and leave them so distraught? If the answer is no, then perhaps you should give some thought to the fact that this indicates his level of love and commitment to you. Should he find some other girl, perhaps, in the long run that would be best for YOU. You deserve someone that will respect you and have concern for you.

As for the immigration consequences, his authorised stay here is until the expiry date on the visa (or 90 days from the date he arrived). After that, he should return to his homeland, and if he does not he will be in unlawful status. And yes, as already noted, he cannot marry another United States citizen while here as a K-1 visa entrant and expect to remain and adjust status. He can marry and leave and go through the K-3 or CR-1 spouse immigrant process, or he can remain and seek another means to find legal status.

Please take some time and think about your future.

Edited December 3, 2006 by diadromous mermaid

[amwo 0]

Dear karlasoul,

I am sorry to hear of your misfortune and in no way am I trying to diminish your love for him and the relationship you had in posting my thoughts.

How long was it between his arriving in the US and his leaving you/disappearing? It appears to be a short period of time? With that, I feel it is not only necessary to notify USCIS but also the Department of State, Department of Homeland Security, and any other gov agency that seems appropriate. The reason I am saying this is Algeria isn't necessarily one of the US's friends. I truly hope he did not use you to get entry to the US but one never knows. And I truly hope he is not a ..........

(With this said, I have to add, I am not a fear mongering USC that watches FOX incessantly, I am a bleeding heart liberal who just surfed a wee bit too much of youtube. The world is crazy.)

karlasoul, as someone posted, you are better off without this person in your life.

I wish you all the best.

[Fandango 1,440]

i am new here with such a sad and unbelievable storyi have no idea where to start from.our story was a fairy tail ,,,a love story that started online and ended up here in the us.after a long and tiresome k1 procedure we managed to get together and finally my dream come true as the love of my life made it to the usa.however,and when i thought that the happiness is finally on our side ,things took another shape and misunderstandings showed up and our life together became something i have never expected.anyway after all that he run away and went somewhere else . we haven t get married yet and i am so confused now that i don t know what to do .

does he have the right to stay here away from me ??? does he have the right work ??? i m so afraid he ll meet somebody else "that would kill me " in that case does he have the right to marry her??? what about his status here ????

please i m in a desperate need of an advice....thank you

If it would kill you that he met someone else I would suggest that you get therapy. If he cmes back I suggest you both get therapy. Remember if you signed the affadavit of support you are responsible

Be nice! It's quite clear that the OP is going through an emotional time, and is seeking support and assistance and oftentimes in those situations it's quite common for some to exaggerate.

karlasoul,

What I think that rubyshoes means to say is that if, indeed, your fiancé left without informing you or without working through issues, although it might come as some sort of heartbreak to you right now, think carefully about whether if the situation were reverse, would you or could you up and leave someone you loved and leave them so distraught? If the answer is no, then perhaps you should give some thought to the fact that this indicates his level of love and commitment to you. Should he find some other girl, perhaps, in the long run that would be best for YOU. You deserve someone that will respect you and have concern for you.

As for the immigration consequences, his authorised stay here is until the expiry date on the visa (or 90 days from the date he arrived). After that, he should return to his homeland, and if he does not he will be in unlawful status. And yes, as already noted, he cannot marry another United States citizen while here as a K-1 visa entrant and expect to remain and adjust status. He can marry and leave and go through the K-3 or CR-1 spouse immigrant process, or he can remain and seek another means to find legal status.

Please take some time and think about your future.

I don't think rubyshoes was mean nor do I think you need to explain what she said. Surely you can have your own opinion & are free to express that, but why paraphrase for another poster? I don't get it.

Good luck, OP!

[diadromous mermaid 36]

i am new here with such a sad and unbelievable storyi have no idea where to start from.our story was a fairy tail ,,,a love story that started online and ended up here in the us.after a long and tiresome k1 procedure we managed to get together and finally my dream come true as the love of my life made it to the usa.however,and when i thought that the happiness is finally on our side ,things took another shape and misunderstandings showed up and our life together became something i have never expected.anyway after all that he run away and went somewhere else . we haven t get married yet and i am so confused now that i don t know what to do .

does he have the right to stay here away from me ??? does he have the right work ??? i m so afraid he ll meet somebody else "that would kill me " in that case does he have the right to marry her??? what about his status here ????

please i m in a desperate need of an advice....thank you

If it would kill you that he met someone else I would suggest that you get therapy. If he cmes back I suggest you both get therapy. Remember if you signed the affadavit of support you are responsible

Be nice! It's quite clear that the OP is going through an emotional time, and is seeking support and assistance and oftentimes in those situations it's quite common for some to exaggerate.

karlasoul,

What I think that rubyshoes means to say is that if, indeed, your fiancé left without informing you or without working through issues, although it might come as some sort of heartbreak to you right now, think carefully about whether if the situation were reverse, would you or could you up and leave someone you loved and leave them so distraught? If the answer is no, then perhaps you should give some thought to the fact that this indicates his level of love and commitment to you. Should he find some other girl, perhaps, in the long run that would be best for YOU. You deserve someone that will respect you and have concern for you.

As for the immigration consequences, his authorised stay here is until the expiry date on the visa (or 90 days from the date he arrived). After that, he should return to his homeland, and if he does not he will be in unlawful status. And yes, as already noted, he cannot marry another United States citizen while here as a K-1 visa entrant and expect to remain and adjust status. He can marry and leave and go through the K-3 or CR-1 spouse immigrant process, or he can remain and seek another means to find legal status.

Please take some time and think about your future.

I don't think rubyshoes was mean nor do I think you need to explain what she said. Surely you can have your own opinion & are free to express that, but why paraphrase for another poster? I don't get it.

Good luck, OP!

Well, since you asked LisaD, I'll answer.

There's no doubt that rubyshoes can have his or her opinion, and I wasn't suggesting that the essence of what he or she posted was incorrect or ill-advised, I was commenting simply on the style of delivery. Nor was I paraphrasing. I recognise that rubyshoes had something quite valid to offer in terms of advice, if the circumstances were, indeed, as implied. However, given the emotional turmoil that karlasoul is in at this time, one has to take that into consideration.

My sense is that people, in general, tend to have a difficult time imagining themselves in certain situations, and use their own perspective, many times from a much more secure position, to evaluate and make judgment of others' actions. I've seen and heard it all here ~ "I would do this"; "My husband would never do that"; "I know that this..."; "I know that that..."; "This would never happen to us" etc. Were others to find themselves thrust into some of the situations that have been discussed across these fora, I doubt, sincerely, that their reaction would be dissimilar from those offered by people who have decalred thay have a real dilemma. Frankly, in my time on this board, I've seen it all too often that people fail to consider how they, themselves, would feel and react, if they were to face similar events. That is one element of some people's approach and lack of tolerance that causes me great concern. It's only when we find ourselves in similar circumstances that we can properly understand the realm of emotion and confusion and how that can and does distort rational thinking. I just wish all members would give this some consideration, that's all!

.

[Fandango 1,440]

I don't think rubyshoes was mean nor do I think you need to explain what she said. Surely you can have your own opinion & are free to express that, but why paraphrase for another poster? I don't get it.

Good luck, OP!

Well, since you asked LisaD, I'll answer.

There's no doubt that rubyshoes can have his or her opinion, and I wasn't suggesting that the essence of what he or she posted was incorrect or ill-advised, I was commenting simply on the style of delivery. Nor was I paraphrasing. I recognise that rubyshoes had something quite valid to offer in terms of advice, if the circumstances were, indeed, as implied. However, given the emotional turmoil that karlasoul is in at this time, one has to take that into consideration.

My sense is that people, in general, tend to have a difficult time imagining themselves in certain situations, and use their own perspective, many times from a much more secure position, to evaluate and make judgment of others' actions. I've seen and heard it all here ~ "I would do this"; "My husband would never do that"; "I know that this..."; "I know that that..."; "This would never happen to us" etc. Were others to find themselves thrust into some of the situations that have been discussed across these fora, I doubt, sincerely, that their reaction would be dissimilar from those offered by people who have decalred thay have a real dilemma. Frankly, in my time on this board, I've seen it all too often that people fail to consider how they, themselves, would feel and react, if they were to face similar events. That is one element of some people's approach and lack of tolerance that causes me great concern. It's only when we find ourselves in similar circumstances that we can properly understand the realm of emotion and confusion and how that can and does distort rational thinking. I just wish all members would give this some consideration, that's all!

.

You were paraphrasing....see?

Be nice! It's quite clear that the OP is going through an emotional time, and is seeking support and assistance and oftentimes in those situations it's quite common for some to exaggerate.

karlasoul,

What I think that rubyshoes means to say is that if, indeed....

and also I don't think RS was not being nice either. To the point? YES. But the advise was valid and RS was not being mean.

I understand you would like to see things be a certain way on this board, but RS was not out of line in any way and didn't need admonishment or direction on how to act. There are some people who do not beat around the bush nor feel they have to wrap others in cotton wool. Rubyshoes I'm sure is quite capable of governing his/her own delivery without you implying that it was too harsh or having to translate the message

Thanks for responding to my post....I realize me discussing this with you ironically makes this come across as hypocritical as I'm criticizing your post for criticizing his/hers.....but I'm very much a firm believer in adults not having to govern one another. I really felt your corrections were quite superfluous & not everyone has to be the same way in sensitivity. So long as no one's being disrespectful to one another, I think we should all be able to say what we'd like and not have to monitor one another.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I don't think rubyshoes was mean nor do I think you need to explain what she said. Surely you can have your own opinion & are free to express that, but why paraphrase for another poster? I don't get it.

Good luck, OP!

Well, since you asked LisaD, I'll answer.

There's no doubt that rubyshoes can have his or her opinion, and I wasn't suggesting that the essence of what he or she posted was incorrect or ill-advised, I was commenting simply on the style of delivery. Nor was I paraphrasing. I recognise that rubyshoes had something quite valid to offer in terms of advice, if the circumstances were, indeed, as implied. However, given the emotional turmoil that karlasoul is in at this time, one has to take that into consideration.

My sense is that people, in general, tend to have a difficult time imagining themselves in certain situations, and use their own perspective, many times from a much more secure position, to evaluate and make judgment of others' actions. I've seen and heard it all here ~ "I would do this"; "My husband would never do that"; "I know that this..."; "I know that that..."; "This would never happen to us" etc. Were others to find themselves thrust into some of the situations that have been discussed across these fora, I doubt, sincerely, that their reaction would be dissimilar from those offered by people who have decalred thay have a real dilemma. Frankly, in my time on this board, I've seen it all too often that people fail to consider how they, themselves, would feel and react, if they were to face similar events. That is one element of some people's approach and lack of tolerance that causes me great concern. It's only when we find ourselves in similar circumstances that we can properly understand the realm of emotion and confusion and how that can and does distort rational thinking. I just wish all members would give this some consideration, that's all!

.

You were paraphrasing....see?

Be nice! It's quite clear that the OP is going through an emotional time, and is seeking support and assistance and oftentimes in those situations it's quite common for some to exaggerate.

karlasoul,

What I think that rubyshoes means to say is that if, indeed....

and also I don't think RS was not being nice either. To the point? YES. But the advise was valid and RS was not being mean.

I understand you would like to see things be a certain way on this board, but RS was not out of line in any way and didn't need admonishment or direction on how to act. There are some people who do not beat around the bush nor feel they have to wrap others in cotton wool. Rubyshoes I'm sure is quite capable of governing his/her own delivery without you implying that it was too harsh or having to translate the message

Thanks for responding to my post....I realize me discussing this with you ironically makes this come across as hypocritical as I'm criticizing your post for criticizing his/hers.....but I'm very much a firm believer in adults not having to govern one another. I really felt your corrections were quite superfluous & not everyone has to be the same way in sensitivity. So long as no one's being disrespectful to one another, I think we should all be able to say what we'd like and not have to monitor one another.

Arghhh! LisaD, nowhere did I suggest that rubyshoes was being mean. I believe you used that term. I simply asked that it would be better to "be nice". And there's nothing inherently wrong with being direct, it's simply that there are times when being so direct can be insensitive. I guess, one just has to have empathy to recognise which occasions those are.

In summary, it was and still remains my opinion that the delivery could have been with more consideration for the fully charged emotions that karlasoul is experiencing, however, to take the posture that you have over the recommendation I made simply proves my point, even more clearly, that until you have walked in those shoes, personally, you'll never have a clue.

So long as no one's being disrespectful to one another, I think we should all be able to say what we'd like and not have to monitor one another.

Indeed, if this is your philosophy, I find this comment of yours, directed towards me, rather ironic, btw.

[Fandango 1,440]

DM.....I did acknowledge that it is a bit hypocritical of me! hahahahah

Edited December 4, 2006 by LisaD

[diadromous mermaid 36]

DM.....I did acknowledge that it is a bit hypocritical of me! hahahahah

Yup, you did! And it's said, a picture's worth a thousand words. I think I should have paid more attention to them, prior to answering. It might have saved me some trouble. I'd say your signature icons pretty much sum up how you feel.

[maya62 7]

Karlasoul,

Immigration-wise, he is OK for 90 days, as the others have said. Then, if he does not marry YOU (and only you), he must return to his country.

From the information you have provided, it sounds like you might want to reconsider marriage to this man, even if he were to re-appear and want that (which may happen if he realizes his position immigration-wise).

Please do be very careful... it sounds like fraud on his part (using you to get to the US) is a very real possibility here.

If he returns before the 90 days are up, and wants to get married, BE CAREFUL. If he does not return before the 90 days are up, he has blown his chance with you immigration-wise anyhow and I think you should contact USCIS and let them know what has happened.

I know it doesn't help to say "there are so many fish in the sea" when you wanted THAT fish, but really... you deserve better. Now is the time to reach out to friends/family/counselor of your choosing.

Best wishes,

Maya