Whatever happened to thank you?

[govols 0]

I very often say thank you, but I think the debate for some is if adding a thank you could be viewed by administrators as padding your post totals... It may not be rudeness at all. Some times I don't give a thank you for that very reason.

Just a thought!

That's what I was thinking too. Especially if my post is moving on down the page, I hate to "bump" it up to reply with "thank you " but certainly not that I don't appreciate the advice though.

Edited December 2, 2006 by govols

[kitkat1 5]

Thanks all for the comments. thanks to Williams33, YuandDan, Kitkat. Aussiewench and the many other members of VJ for their informative posts in the immigration forums that have help my fiance and I thru this process. 12 days to go to our VA Day. (visa approved). best of luck to all with the goal of being united with their SO or family member.

I agree - and it makes not want to help very much when the person I have responded to time and time again never says thanks! So roymcn3rd, your post is appreciated and glad to have helped you!

[misa 2]

I think I've always said thank you. I hope I have! If not, thank you to everyone's helpful advice and answers.

I must say that I can't imagine going through this process without the help and experiences of other members here.

[rebeccajo 14]

IMHO the best way to say thank you on VJ is to stick around and answer the questions of those who come after you.

It's not the lack of 'thank you' that bugs me. It's posters who only ask questions, never answer or help, disappear after that phase of the journey is over, then pop back up when they get the next phase with more questions. I won't answer them.

[George and Jenny 0]

Thanks to all for the help, I get so busy here at work sometimes that I forget to say thanks at the end of comments. I find the advice is great and the prices are resonable too. Joke joke

[Robor007 0]

I have also noticed that sometimes the OP doesn't even come back to read the thread, because some people trying to help ask the OP to clarify so they can help and there is never an answer from the OP. So I wonder, why they post if they are not reading the answers....

I usually say thanks because like YuAndDan said, they take time to research our Q's and I appreciate their time and effort. Thanks again!

I find the first part of your post very annoying. I'm a member of a computer forum and it's really annoying to have someone (especially a new member with few posts) and ask a question then not follow up with the other posters trying to help. Worse than that is if they're rude to members because they don't like the answer.

I usually say thank you to those who help. I don't think it really hurts that the posts are bumped because the OP can always search for their thread. Plus, you can usually use Google and search for specific words + VisaJourney to find info.

[keltic 1]

if anyone is worried about 'bumping' a thread with a thank you, there is always an option of a nice pm

[JenT 0]

I think this is indicative of how etiquette, and manners in general, are going downhill. People rarely RSVP to invitations as requested, or sent thank you notes for gifts....

I was in Chicago this week and was trying to get onto an elevator were 6 men had already walked on. They all stood there watching me try to get my suitcase and briefcase on with me before the door closed ON my suitcase.... no one reached out to help, or even acknowleged me. I thought that was highly rude and actually said so once the elevator doors closed. No response from anyone.

A week ago, or so, I posted in one thread to someone who was about to get married the following Monday and then wanted to go to their local USCIS office and apply for their green card. It was obvious that no research had been done and they were completely uninformed. My answer was brief, and I explained that they couldn't file so quickly as there was a lot of documentation that needed to be gathered (posted links to the examples) and also because they needed to wait for a certified copy of their marriage certificate to be available....

The OP sent me a PM asking AGAIN, so I cut/pasted a copy of my AOS/EAD/AP cover letter which listed all of the things that I supplied, and suggested that they use it as a checklist as they did their research and completed their forms. Haven't heard a thing since....

[almaty 19]

I think this is indicative of how etiquette, and manners in general, are going downhill. People rarely RSVP to invitations as requested, or sent thank you notes for gifts....

I was in Chicago this week and was trying to get onto an elevator were 6 men had already walked on. They all stood there watching me try to get my suitcase and briefcase on with me before the door closed ON my suitcase.... no one reached out to help, or even acknowleged me. I thought that was highly rude and actually said so once the elevator doors closed. No response from anyone.

A week ago, or so, I posted in one thread to someone who was about to get married the following Monday and then wanted to go to their local USCIS office and apply for their green card. It was obvious that no research had been done and they were completely uninformed. My answer was brief, and I explained that they couldn't file so quickly as there was a lot of documentation that needed to be gathered (posted links to the examples) and also because they needed to wait for a certified copy of their marriage certificate to be available....

The OP sent me a PM asking AGAIN, so I cut/pasted a copy of my AOS/EAD/AP cover letter which listed all of the things that I supplied, and suggested that they use it as a checklist as they did their research and completed their forms. Haven't heard a thing since....

just wrong sister jenn....if i was in chicago i would have helped you..

[Mags 112]

A week ago, or so, I posted in one thread to someone who was about to get married the following Monday and then wanted to go to their local USCIS office and apply for their green card. It was obvious that no research had been done and they were completely uninformed. My answer was brief, and I explained that they couldn't file so quickly as there was a lot of documentation that needed to be gathered (posted links to the examples) and also because they needed to wait for a certified copy of their marriage certificate to be available....

The OP sent me a PM asking AGAIN, so I cut/pasted a copy of my AOS/EAD/AP cover letter which listed all of the things that I supplied, and suggested that they use it as a checklist as they did their research and completed their forms. Haven't heard a thing since....

I got a PM about 2 weeks ago from someone asking me about travelling with pets. I sent a semi-long reply, with links etc. Haven't heard a thing since. I almost felt like sending another reply saying "you're welcome".

Manners don't cost anything my Nan used to say.

[keltic 1]

I think this is indicative of how etiquette, and manners in general, are going downhill. People rarely RSVP to invitations as requested, or sent thank you notes for gifts....

I was in Chicago this week and was trying to get onto an elevator were 6 men had already walked on. They all stood there watching me try to get my suitcase and briefcase on with me before the door closed ON my suitcase.... no one reached out to help, or even acknowleged me. I thought that was highly rude and actually said so once the elevator doors closed. No response from anyone.

A week ago, or so, I posted in one thread to someone who was about to get married the following Monday and then wanted to go to their local USCIS office and apply for their green card. It was obvious that no research had been done and they were completely uninformed. My answer was brief, and I explained that they couldn't file so quickly as there was a lot of documentation that needed to be gathered (posted links to the examples) and also because they needed to wait for a certified copy of their marriage certificate to be available....

The OP sent me a PM asking AGAIN, so I cut/pasted a copy of my AOS/EAD/AP cover letter which listed all of the things that I supplied, and suggested that they use it as a checklist as they did their research and completed their forms. Haven't heard a thing since....

i agree... its a sad commentary on society... ppl can complain about others just wanting sunshine and bubbles, but there are common courtesies that should just be observed to make this world a little less hostile of a place...

i work at a big, center-city hospital... and the elevator ettiquette is unbelievably lacking... and we arent talking just visitors... huge groups of docs will pile on together and not care how cramped or shoved the obviously frail and sick patients are... ppl insist on shoving onto an elevator before other passengers can get off of it... what sense does that make?? there will be plenty of room for you if you just wait for the elevator to empty... the doors are not gonna shut on the ppl as they exit just to keep someone from getting on... and... on a personal note... i am VERY obviously pregnant and the way ppl will shove me aside or even actually push the "close door" button when they see someone else coming (with plenty of room on the elevator) is absolutely disgusting to me...

and while i am complaining about this, a specific example... one morning after working a 12 hr shift, a coworker of mine and i walked to the parking deck... she is also VERY obviously pregnant... i paid my parking, the woman gave me my change and didnt say a word... i still said thank you... my friend and i walked to the elevators... both of which were grounded and open... neither would go anywhere... i walked over to the window to ask the attendant about the elevators... she very nonchalantly said, "oh, someone is gonna come sometime to look at them"... meanwhile, im thinking it would have been nice if she had said something BEFORE we went to the elevators if she knew they werent working... but, i politely asked what she thought we could do... she said "walk" and nodded to the stairs... i was parked on the 8th floor! so, i said "i am 32 weeks pregnant, just worked a 12 hour shift, and i am parked on the 8th floor... do you have any other suggestions?" her response was just a shrugged shoulder as she went back to watching her little tv... mind you, there are 2 golfcarts parked just outside the door of the main floor for security to use, and the security guy was sitting right there next to her behind that window and never spoke a word...

my friend was fortunately only parked on the 3rd floor, so we climbed the stairs and she drove me up to my car on the 8th floor...

all i can do is to continue to treat others the way i should and teach my daughter how to do so as well... and soon my son...

[DeadPoolX 9]

Whenever I ask for assistance from the community here (or in general), I write down "thanks ahead of time." I tend to get somewhat distracted, especially in regards to older or longer threads, so while I don't wish to be rude and forget to thank someone, I may end up doing it without realizing it. That's why I write that down at the end of my question. If I can grab ahold of my attention span long enough, then I'll write up a seperate "thank you" to the post or e-mail.

In general, however, I think most people in society don't even bother with what I do...

[meauxna 15]

The best kind of thank you, in my opinion, is the kind where the OP comes back and restates the answer in their own words, clarifying that they 'get it' and leaving a tidy solution for forthcoming readers.

That's where the 'thank you' can be inserted without it being a post-boost. In fact, those type of thank you's are the worst, IMO, because you have no idea if the person understood the answer or not.

[zyggy 9]

IMHO the best way to say thank you on VJ is to stick around and answer the questions of those who come after you.

It's not the lack of 'thank you' that bugs me. It's posters who only ask questions, never answer or help, disappear after that phase of the journey is over, then pop back up when they get the next phase with more questions. I won't answer them.

Hear Hear..

[Robor007 0]

It's sad but consideration in general is going downhill in society today. There's too many examples to list but it's rather obvious.

When I met my wife's family in the Philippines we spent some time together as a group. After we were back and it was just her an I again she told me her family liked me and was very happy with her choice in a man. I asked why and she said because I was polite and had respect for everyone no matter who they were. Her cousin noticed that I said 'thank you sir/ma'am' to everyone regardless of their age, gender, job, etc. While I'm happy that her family liked me IMO it's nothing to brag about because it should be expected - it's common courtesy. Unfortunately, it seems to be less and less common. :-/