Ok !!! Why are so Many Filipina's Connecting Up with American Men......???

[Greenbaum 12,259]

She says she loves you, and in her heart that is probably true, but without that green card, she would never get that chance. If she met you in the Philippines, and you managed to convince her to marry you, so that you could spend the rest of your life with her in the Philippines, she would never let you out of her sight -- Not because she doesn't trust you, but because she is afraid some younger or more beautiful Pinay would steal you away from her.

That is so true! I remember before I traveled on my first trip to meet her this topic came up about "roaming eyes" and that was something she hated. Her x=husband would do it and it would make her furious with jealousy. So, being the smart guy I was, I never for the entire trip let my eyes roam, all but a few seconds. She never gave me any problems nor did we talk about that subject again. I think she was satisfied that I was different.

[Juliet and Steve 93]

1) Economics. This is a multi-pronged subject. Filipinas have a cultural mandate to be a bastion of support for the family. A woman over the age of 25-30 in RP (Philippines) is considered "old" related to finding/keeping a job. This blatant age discrimination in RP affects men too, but perhaps not to the same extent. Even for Filipinas under the age of 25 job opportunities are rare. Thus the mandate to be able to support the family is difficult. Foreign lands offer less age discrimination. Foreign men, especially those who can travel to RP offer economic support. These men are also likely to be able to keep their career intact with no or little age discrimination.

2) At the risk of drawing the ire of some, Filipino males have an undesirable (broadly speaking--of course there are exceptions) set of mores. Mores are cultural/moral values. The machismo attitude runs deep in RP culture. It likely comes from RP's Spanish heritage. It is common for males to woo young females, impregnate them, and then dump them as now being worthless. Philippine men cheat. Again, though there are exceptions, the cultural mores come into play. A male who has the resources to me married and have children and who decides to maintain a second household with a kabit (mistress) is not looked down upon. Though not openly admired, most even within the family will tolerate this, and some will even clandestinely admire the male. Filipina's on the other hand rarely cheat. The book "Lust in Translation" tells that only Tibet and Ghana has women with this level of fidelity. We can ignore Ghana as a male who finds his wife cheating might kill her--a good reason to be faithful. This leaves RP's women very desirable in the eyes of many Westerners who find the mores of Western women with their "Sex in the City" attitude and their lack of fidelity undesirable.

3) Filipinas want white! It is utterly ironic that most Western women admire and try to emulate through tanning the skin color of many Filipinas. Western men enjoy women who are not pasty white--we like all shades of Filipina. Filipinas want their babies to be white and they are smart enough to know how to attain this.

4) Many Americans are culturally adaptable and most are polite and considerate (and indeed, there are exceptions). This runs in opposition to other nationalities such as the Koreans and Chinese. I apologize to those of Korean and Chinese heritage who might be here and realize again, there are exceptions--but having traveled a bit the Koreans and Chinese unless you are friends with one seem by and large simply rude and inconsiderate.

5) Filipinas crave stability. Young men, worldwide do not offer the type of stability--but older men do. (same 'ol caveat--a generalization) Filipinas are age-difference tolerant. In 1972 I remember reading an article that said that the average American woman desired a male partner 2-10 years older than them. Today if that article would be re-written the statistics would likely indicate that American women now want male partners 2-10 years younger than them. This creates a situation where RP offers what American men want, and had until the feminist movement changed things. I, at my age, am, generally speaking, not what American women want and they, especially from their attitudes/morels/mores are not what I want. And I, at my age, value a woman who wants a lifetime relationship and have found one.

6) As others have pointed out: America is a melting pot. Everyone can fit in. America has its share of problems these days, but it's still a wonderful country to move to.

7) American men want sumbissive women. Oops...who wrote that--not me, where is the erase button.

Indeed, this is a loaded subject and all too often misunderstood. To some "submissive" means that a Filipina might become a sort of slave, or second class citizen, kept barefoot and penniless down on the farm and be subjected to the sexual whims of the dominant male. Yet I believe that though this concept might exist--it is rather rare, and really not what most American men desire.

I prefer to remove the word "submissive," and as another poster here has done--interject the word "feminine."

Back in the '60's most women in America stayed home and raised kids while the husband worked. The husband made the decisions. This is far from the case today, in America most women work--indeed most have to work--such is the economics of today. But what it's really about is that the women of the sixties at least seemed happy to have a nice home, a loving husband and happy children. Women of today in America, at least to me, all too many have become "independent," or rather beyond independent. They don't need a husband--in fact millions are better off with no husband to worry about. America's nanny state gives a single mom quite a lot. Subsidized or free housing; free medical; free education (college) and oftentimes even assist the single mom in buying a car. In my opinion America's changed to where marriage is a negative thing and as girls become women in their fatherless environment--the need for keeping a husband around has taken on less importance. For me the close family values that the Philippines espouse is a treasure. That a Filipina is more likely to be happy with the basic necessities of life is a refreshing alternative to the last two American women who I dated about 5 years ago. Both, after a nice dinner, as I walked them to their car said exactly the same thing: Smiling each said: "Oh, which is your car?" I responded: "the older blue Honda Accord." Both reacted the same--there appeared an odd look on their face that might have had a bit of disgust in it. Neither asked: "Why do you drive such an old car?" (Note: It looks nice to me and runs quite nicely, but it is 11 years old) Had either asked, my answer would have been: "I don't place much status value on having to have a new car--I'd rather not have $400 a month car payments (or $800 a month with two cars) and I prefer to pay off the mortgage on my house or use the money for investing. Though I had a nice time with both of them--neither responded to further calls or emails. Sadly--if you don't have a new car in America, a large percentage of women will write you off. It's a terrible thing too as so many men become so stretched out on debt to maintain the supposed status of the new car and big "dollhouse," (a big fancy house) that eventually it is this very economic loop of debt that destroys their lives and their relationships. Filipinas tend not to be particularly materialistic. They seem to be happy with a nice house and a car that runs. I like that.

8) Filipinas don't smoke and don't like smoking. This is not the case of way too many American women.

9) We American males are astounded at how beautiful all the Filipinas are.

[Hank_ 9,174]

That was a pretty good read, seemed to hit the nail on the head more times than not...

1 & 2 I have heard many times, from many different people... especially 1 ... the age discrimination in the work place and the bias in marriage.

Over 30 seems to be the death nil in regards to work and marriage for many Filipinas, first time I heard this I was dumbfounded. Even my wife says things from time to time, like walking through the Wal Mart and she sees older women working, she will tell me that wouldn't happen in the Philippines, and goes so far as to say they want women under 25 years of age most times.

A friend of mine worked in the Philippines for many years and his wife was in her early 20s when he married her, and he has told me Filipinas over 30 are considered toooooo old for marriage. He found it funny that I wouldn't consider a women in her 20s and was only interested in a woman over 30.

[Caryh 5,206]

Great post Steve. I also think you hit the the nail on the head pretty good.

[cjmc 10]

Great post Steve....you did say it all very nicely and thanks so much for contributing to this thread. I think that your thoughts are all very true and the reason why this site is so popular to use looking for a little happiness from both sides of the fence... :-)

Cheers,

cjmc

[Glenn & Anne 16]

1) Economics. This is a multi-pronged subject. Filipinas have a cultural mandate to be a bastion of support for the family. A woman over the age of 25-30 in RP (Philippines) is considered "old" related to finding/keeping a job. This blatant age discrimination in RP affects men too, but perhaps not to the same extent. Even for Filipinas under the age of 25 job opportunities are rare. Thus the mandate to be able to support the family is difficult. Foreign lands offer less age discrimination. Foreign men, especially those who can travel to RP offer economic support. These men are also likely to be able to keep their career intact with no or little age discrimination.

2) At the risk of drawing the ire of some, Filipino males have an undesirable (broadly speaking--of course there are exceptions) set of mores. Mores are cultural/moral values. The machismo attitude runs deep in RP culture. It likely comes from RP's Spanish heritage. It is common for males to woo young females, impregnate them, and then dump them as now being worthless. Philippine men cheat. Again, though there are exceptions, the cultural mores come into play. A male who has the resources to me married and have children and who decides to maintain a second household with a kabit (mistress) is not looked down upon. Though not openly admired, most even within the family will tolerate this, and some will even clandestinely admire the male. Filipina's on the other hand rarely cheat. The book "Lust in Translation" tells that only Tibet and Ghana has women with this level of fidelity. We can ignore Ghana as a male who finds his wife cheating might kill her--a good reason to be faithful. This leaves RP's women very desirable in the eyes of many Westerners who find the mores of Western women with their "Sex in the City" attitude and their lack of fidelity undesirable.

3) Filipinas want white! It is utterly ironic that most Western women admire and try to emulate through tanning the skin color of many Filipinas. Western men enjoy women who are not pasty white--we like all shades of Filipina. Filipinas want their babies to be white and they are smart enough to know how to attain this.

4) Many Americans are culturally adaptable and most are polite and considerate (and indeed, there are exceptions). This runs in opposition to other nationalities such as the Koreans and Chinese. I apologize to those of Korean and Chinese heritage who might be here and realize again, there are exceptions--but having traveled a bit the Koreans and Chinese unless you are friends with one seem by and large simply rude and inconsiderate.

5) Filipinas crave stability. Young men, worldwide do not offer the type of stability--but older men do. (same 'ol caveat--a generalization) Filipinas are age-difference tolerant. In 1972 I remember reading an article that said that the average American woman desired a male partner 2-10 years older than them. Today if that article would be re-written the statistics would likely indicate that American women now want male partners 2-10 years younger than them. This creates a situation where RP offers what American men want, and had until the feminist movement changed things. I, at my age, am, generally speaking, not what American women want and they, especially from their attitudes/morels/mores are not what I want. And I, at my age, value a woman who wants a lifetime relationship and have found one.

6) As others have pointed out: America is a melting pot. Everyone can fit in. America has its share of problems these days, but it's still a wonderful country to move to.

7) American men want sumbissive women. Oops...who wrote that--not me, where is the erase button.

Indeed, this is a loaded subject and all too often misunderstood. To some "submissive" means that a Filipina might become a sort of slave, or second class citizen, kept barefoot and penniless down on the farm and be subjected to the sexual whims of the dominant male. Yet I believe that though this concept might exist--it is rather rare, and really not what most American men desire.

I prefer to remove the word "submissive," and as another poster here has done--interject the word "feminine."

Back in the '60's most women in America stayed home and raised kids while the husband worked. The husband made the decisions. This is far from the case today, in America most women work--indeed most have to work--such is the economics of today. But what it's really about is that the women of the sixties at least seemed happy to have a nice home, a loving husband and happy children. Women of today in America, at least to me, all too many have become "independent," or rather beyond independent. They don't need a husband--in fact millions are better off with no husband to worry about. America's nanny state gives a single mom quite a lot. Subsidized or free housing; free medical; free education (college) and oftentimes even assist the single mom in buying a car. In my opinion America's changed to where marriage is a negative thing and as girls become women in their fatherless environment--the need for keeping a husband around has taken on less importance. For me the close family values that the Philippines espouse is a treasure. That a Filipina is more likely to be happy with the basic necessities of life is a refreshing alternative to the last two American women who I dated about 5 years ago. Both, after a nice dinner, as I walked them to their car said exactly the same thing: Smiling each said: "Oh, which is your car?" I responded: "the older blue Honda Accord." Both reacted the same--there appeared an odd look on their face that might have had a bit of disgust in it. Neither asked: "Why do you drive such an old car?" (Note: It looks nice to me and runs quite nicely, but it is 11 years old) Had either asked, my answer would have been: "I don't place much status value on having to have a new car--I'd rather not have $400 a month car payments (or $800 a month with two cars) and I prefer to pay off the mortgage on my house or use the money for investing. Though I had a nice time with both of them--neither responded to further calls or emails. Sadly--if you don't have a new car in America, a large percentage of women will write you off. It's a terrible thing too as so many men become so stretched out on debt to maintain the supposed status of the new car and big "dollhouse," (a big fancy house) that eventually it is this very economic loop of debt that destroys their lives and their relationships. Filipinas tend not to be particularly materialistic. They seem to be happy with a nice house and a car that runs. I like that.

8) Filipinas don't smoke and don't like smoking. This is not the case of way too many American women.

9) We American males are astounded at how beautiful all the Filipinas are.

Wow!! That is the best elucidation of the reasons I fell in love with a Filipina that I can recall reading. You hit the nail right on the head! Repeatedly! Point after point is roght on the mark.

Bravo. (Insert standing ovation here)

[Hank_ 9,174]

OK ~

[davenjanet 22]

1) Economics. This is a multi-pronged subject. Filipinas have a cultural mandate to be a bastion of support for the family. A woman over the age of 25-30 in RP (Philippines) is considered "old" related to finding/keeping a job. This blatant age discrimination in RP affects men too, but perhaps not to the same extent. Even for Filipinas under the age of 25 job opportunities are rare. Thus the mandate to be able to support the family is difficult. Foreign lands offer less age discrimination. Foreign men, especially those who can travel to RP offer economic support. These men are also likely to be able to keep their career intact with no or little age discrimination.

2) At the risk of drawing the ire of some, Filipino males have an undesirable (broadly speaking--of course there are exceptions) set of mores. Mores are cultural/moral values. The machismo attitude runs deep in RP culture. It likely comes from RP's Spanish heritage. It is common for males to woo young females, impregnate them, and then dump them as now being worthless. Philippine men cheat. Again, though there are exceptions, the cultural mores come into play. A male who has the resources to me married and have children and who decides to maintain a second household with a kabit (mistress) is not looked down upon. Though not openly admired, most even within the family will tolerate this, and some will even clandestinely admire the male. Filipina's on the other hand rarely cheat. The book "Lust in Translation" tells that only Tibet and Ghana has women with this level of fidelity. We can ignore Ghana as a male who finds his wife cheating might kill her--a good reason to be faithful. This leaves RP's women very desirable in the eyes of many Westerners who find the mores of Western women with their "Sex in the City" attitude and their lack of fidelity undesirable.

3) Filipinas want white! It is utterly ironic that most Western women admire and try to emulate through tanning the skin color of many Filipinas. Western men enjoy women who are not pasty white--we like all shades of Filipina. Filipinas want their babies to be white and they are smart enough to know how to attain this.

4) Many Americans are culturally adaptable and most are polite and considerate (and indeed, there are exceptions). This runs in opposition to other nationalities such as the Koreans and Chinese. I apologize to those of Korean and Chinese heritage who might be here and realize again, there are exceptions--but having traveled a bit the Koreans and Chinese unless you are friends with one seem by and large simply rude and inconsiderate.

5) Filipinas crave stability. Young men, worldwide do not offer the type of stability--but older men do. (same 'ol caveat--a generalization) Filipinas are age-difference tolerant. In 1972 I remember reading an article that said that the average American woman desired a male partner 2-10 years older than them. Today if that article would be re-written the statistics would likely indicate that American women now want male partners 2-10 years younger than them. This creates a situation where RP offers what American men want, and had until the feminist movement changed things. I, at my age, am, generally speaking, not what American women want and they, especially from their attitudes/morels/mores are not what I want. And I, at my age, value a woman who wants a lifetime relationship and have found one.

6) As others have pointed out: America is a melting pot. Everyone can fit in. America has its share of problems these days, but it's still a wonderful country to move to.

7) American men want sumbissive women. Oops...who wrote that--not me, where is the erase button.

Indeed, this is a loaded subject and all too often misunderstood. To some "submissive" means that a Filipina might become a sort of slave, or second class citizen, kept barefoot and penniless down on the farm and be subjected to the sexual whims of the dominant male. Yet I believe that though this concept might exist--it is rather rare, and really not what most American men desire.

I prefer to remove the word "submissive," and as another poster here has done--interject the word "feminine."

Back in the '60's most women in America stayed home and raised kids while the husband worked. The husband made the decisions. This is far from the case today, in America most women work--indeed most have to work--such is the economics of today. But what it's really about is that the women of the sixties at least seemed happy to have a nice home, a loving husband and happy children. Women of today in America, at least to me, all too many have become "independent," or rather beyond independent. They don't need a husband--in fact millions are better off with no husband to worry about. America's nanny state gives a single mom quite a lot. Subsidized or free housing; free medical; free education (college) and oftentimes even assist the single mom in buying a car. In my opinion America's changed to where marriage is a negative thing and as girls become women in their fatherless environment--the need for keeping a husband around has taken on less importance. For me the close family values that the Philippines espouse is a treasure. That a Filipina is more likely to be happy with the basic necessities of life is a refreshing alternative to the last two American women who I dated about 5 years ago. Both, after a nice dinner, as I walked them to their car said exactly the same thing: Smiling each said: "Oh, which is your car?" I responded: "the older blue Honda Accord." Both reacted the same--there appeared an odd look on their face that might have had a bit of disgust in it. Neither asked: "Why do you drive such an old car?" (Note: It looks nice to me and runs quite nicely, but it is 11 years old) Had either asked, my answer would have been: "I don't place much status value on having to have a new car--I'd rather not have $400 a month car payments (or $800 a month with two cars) and I prefer to pay off the mortgage on my house or use the money for investing. Though I had a nice time with both of them--neither responded to further calls or emails. Sadly--if you don't have a new car in America, a large percentage of women will write you off. It's a terrible thing too as so many men become so stretched out on debt to maintain the supposed status of the new car and big "dollhouse," (a big fancy house) that eventually it is this very economic loop of debt that destroys their lives and their relationships. Filipinas tend not to be particularly materialistic. They seem to be happy with a nice house and a car that runs. I like that.

8) Filipinas don't smoke and don't like smoking. This is not the case of way too many American women.

9) We American males are astounded at how beautiful all the Filipinas are.

I began to read this and though, "uh oh - here we go again. Another list of fool stereotypes." But in fact, as others said, you hit most of the high points very well.

Of course you did miss out on the fact that we kanos all have beautiful long noses

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Damn all the women who are becoming too independent.

That had to be some of the most ignorant, sexist, stereotypical nonsense I've ever read. I don't know what's more worrisome ... that it was written or that it's being praised as gospel.

Edited July 31, 2013 by Penny Lane

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Damn all the women who are becoming too independent.

That had to be some of the most ignorant, sexist, stereotypical nonsense I've ever read. I don't know what's more worrisome ... that it was written or that it's being praised as gospel.

After watching all that Sex and the City, I feel too independent these days.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Damn all the women who are becoming too independent.

That had to be some of the most ignorant, sexist, stereotypical nonsense I've ever read. I don't know what's more worrisome ... that it was written or that it's being praised as gospel.

Maybe ALPHA would be a better word, I watch many women with their hubbies and I cringe... poor guys has to open their wife's purse to scratch 'em... and its all too common with the couples I see, very few do the woman approach the relationship as "it takes two to tango". No independent may not be the correct word.

But that is not the way it is with all women.. thank goodness!

My past wife was a good woman. And I have been extremely blessed with my wife now!!

[cjmc 10]

OK ~

Nice One Hank !!!!! :-)

[Juliet and Steve 93]

Damn all the women who are becoming too independent.

That had to be some of the most ignorant, sexist, stereotypical nonsense I've ever read. I don't know what's more worrisome ... that it was written or that it's being praised as gospel.

There is nothing in what I wrote that can be construed as "Damn all women who are becoming independent."

A couple is a team--a team works together supporting each other, meeting each others needs. Independence, assertiveness and the ability to find your own path are all elements of a good marriage. A couple should be both dependent and independent. In certain circles, be it business, social, economic or educational independence and the ability to excel individually is fine. I have no interest in overshadowing my partner Juliet and frequently, as we often study together, it is she who excels--the competition is fun and productive. She has her areas of expertise and I mine.

My gripe with Western women is not so much independence--a woman can go off to Timbuktu and live alone for all I care. If she does not need a man, that's here choice. My gripe is that over the past several decades Western women have fallen into a materialistic, and often needy frame of mind. No man is good enough--so go look for another man with a newer BMW. I suppose that's a sort of independence.

As far as Juliet and I--well, we depend on each other. That's our choice--any who wants to focus on independence--go for it.

As far as "how you wrote" what you wrote, well that's about the meanest statement that I've read in quite a while. But then you are free to independently express yourself--good luck with that in the real world.

Edited July 31, 2013 by Juliet and Steve

[GandD 5,966]

Show of hands here. How many of your are marrying/have married your filipina wife late in life and/or after a previously failed marriage?

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Whenever I hear comments being made about "Western women are this" or "Western women are that," I wonder: where are you meeting these people? They don't resemble any woman I know in my personal life. Do such women exist? Certainly. But it is unfair and frankly insulting to tar all with the same brush. Even if you now protest that's not what you meant, go back and read what you wrote. Can you see how what you wrote can be offensive to "Western" women without such women stretching to see an insult?

Women, like men, are individuals. We deserve to be treated as such, judged on our own merits and flaws. Our nationalities do not define us intrinsically. I know you all love your wives, which is a good thing. But it is possible to love your wives without denigrating other women.