Success of abstinence in cutting teen pregnancies is a 'myth'

[Alex+R 0]

If your teenage daughter says, "Mom, I couldn't wait until marriage. I'm sleeping with my boyfriend," what would you tell her?

Wait until marriage?

What planetcentury are you from?

That is an ideal for many people, particularly for those who believe that sex is sacred. I'm more pragmatic about it. It's a great ideal and I believe there is truth behind that notion, however, I don't prescribe to the idea that sex outside of marriage is necessarily morally deviant. (I'm speaking in the religious, moral context that is behind the 'teaching abstinence' policy).

My mom's advice to me was "try before you buy."

[Ecalos 0]

My mom's advice to me was "try before you buy."

I was one of those "ooooh so bad kids" who was sexually active from a young age. I'm 22 now. No unplanned pregnancies, no STDs., 6 years of birthcontrol.

Trust me, they're gonna do it anyway, and nothing you can say will ever stop them if they want to. Instead of going around saying "sex before marriage is wrong" ( I agree, what century are you from?) my mom allowed herself to be someone I could ask questions and get the best advice possible from, and didn't have to sneak around.

Neither she nor I regret any of those decisions. I think she is a fantastic parent.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

If your teenage daughter says, "Mom, I couldn't wait until marriage. I'm sleeping with my boyfriend," what would you tell her?

Wait until marriage?

What planetcentury are you from?

That is an ideal for many people, particularly for those who believe that sex is sacred. I'm more pragmatic about it. It's a great ideal and I believe there is truth behind that notion, however, I don't prescribe to the idea that sex outside of marriage is necessarily morally deviant. (I'm speaking in the religious, moral context that is behind the 'teaching abstinence' policy).

My mom's advice to me was "try before you buy."

I don't think that should be the reason. Maybe I'm idealistic but I have felt that it is such an intimate act with another where we let all our physical, emotional, and spiritual barriers down, where we are totally giving ourselves to another. It's not an easy imprint to leave behind, at least for me. I know that sex can exist outside of love and can be a rather mechanical act if we choose so, but when there is the spiritual and emotional element - that's when it's 'Wow' to me.

[Alex+R 0]

If your teenage daughter says, "Mom, I couldn't wait until marriage. I'm sleeping with my boyfriend," what would you tell her?

Wait until marriage?

What planetcentury are you from?

That is an ideal for many people, particularly for those who believe that sex is sacred. I'm more pragmatic about it. It's a great ideal and I believe there is truth behind that notion, however, I don't prescribe to the idea that sex outside of marriage is necessarily morally deviant. (I'm speaking in the religious, moral context that is behind the 'teaching abstinence' policy).

My mom's advice to me was "try before you buy."

I don't think that should be the reason. Maybe I'm idealistic but I have felt that it is such an intimate act with another where we let all our physical, emotional, and spiritual barriers down, where we are totally giving ourselves to another. It's not an easy imprint to leave behind, at least for me. I know that sex can exist outside of love and can be a rather mechanical act if we choose so, but when there is the spiritual and emotional element - that's when it's 'Wow' to me.

You don't think that exists outside of marriage?

My mom said, if you are going to marry someone, it would be a very foolish thing to wait until after marriage to have sex with that person. Sex is an important part of life, and if it's not good, and you're stuck with that person, you're in trouble.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

If your teenage daughter says, "Mom, I couldn't wait until marriage. I'm sleeping with my boyfriend," what would you tell her?

Wait until marriage?

What planetcentury are you from?

That is an ideal for many people, particularly for those who believe that sex is sacred. I'm more pragmatic about it. It's a great ideal and I believe there is truth behind that notion, however, I don't prescribe to the idea that sex outside of marriage is necessarily morally deviant. (I'm speaking in the religious, moral context that is behind the 'teaching abstinence' policy).

My mom's advice to me was "try before you buy."

I don't think that should be the reason. Maybe I'm idealistic but I have felt that it is such an intimate act with another where we let all our physical, emotional, and spiritual barriers down, where we are totally giving ourselves to another. It's not an easy imprint to leave behind, at least for me. I know that sex can exist outside of love and can be a rather mechanical act if we choose so, but when there is the spiritual and emotional element - that's when it's 'Wow' to me.

You don't think that exists outside of marriage?

My mom said, if you are going to marry someone, it would be a very foolish thing to wait until after marriage to have sex with that person. Sex is an important part of life, and if it's not good, and you're stuck with that person, you're in trouble.

On the contrary - I do believe it does exist outside of marriage. But I don't think that a couple must have sex first as a test of compatibility. The sexual experience changes over time so to take the car out for a 'test drive' beforehand isn't necessarily going to give a couple a clue as to how good the sex will be in the relationship...IMO.

[Ban Hammer 13,335]

You don't think that exists outside of marriage?

My mom said, if you are going to marry someone, it would be a very foolish thing to wait until after marriage to have sex with that person. Sex is an important part of life, and if it's not good, and you're stuck with that person, you're in trouble.

alex, marriage is like a game of bridge. if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

[Fandango 1,439]

You don't think that exists outside of marriage?

My mom said, if you are going to marry someone, it would be a very foolish thing to wait until after marriage to have sex with that person. Sex is an important part of life, and if it's not good, and you're stuck with that person, you're in trouble.

alex, marriage is like a game of bridge. if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

And that joke is as old as the Golden Girls

[Ban Hammer 13,335]

You don't think that exists outside of marriage?

My mom said, if you are going to marry someone, it would be a very foolish thing to wait until after marriage to have sex with that person. Sex is an important part of life, and if it's not good, and you're stuck with that person, you're in trouble.

alex, marriage is like a game of bridge. if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

And that joke is as old as the Golden Girls

are you saying the golden girls.........you know.....

[Mags 112]

You don't think that exists outside of marriage?

My mom said, if you are going to marry someone, it would be a very foolish thing to wait until after marriage to have sex with that person. Sex is an important part of life, and if it's not good, and you're stuck with that person, you're in trouble.

alex, marriage is like a game of bridge. if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

And that joke is as old as the Golden Girls

are you saying the golden girls.........you know.....

I'll never look at Bea Arthur in quite the same light ever again.....

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Sexual abstinence as an effective tool in reducing teenage pregnancy is a complete "myth"

That's a strange claim. If teenagers abstain from sex and *still* get pregnant, what can we do?

Funny how that works sometimes. The first person that came to my mind was someone by the name of Mary. Pregnancy came upon her despite abstinence. Or so the book says. Some people just never learn, eh?

---------------------------

Edited December 2, 2006 by ET-US2004

[Mike and Lily 13]

She already has. Buy her birth control pills or a chastity belt. I chose the pills. Telling her not to have sex is useless.

People whether 17 or 77 will always have free will, but the responsibility of adults is to teach and preach what is right and wrong. That is the best we can do.

But since you talked about the lessor of two evils in the other thread - what's the lesser of two evils? Unwanted pregnancies or teenagers having sex? Keeping in mind that most often, teenagers are going to have sex no matter what you tell them.

I am pretty welcoming to life, and I would never use the word UNWANTED. Some pregnancies are UNPLANNED, but children are always always always a gift from God. Sometimes, though not ideal, teens that have kids turn their lives around and make better decisions after being faced with growing up quickly. Kids/teens are not stupid, if they are going to make the poor decision to have sex that could lead to an unplanned pregnancy that would forever change their life, they are going to do it. From birth you teach them and what is right and wrong with the hopes that something someday will click and you pray that if they are in the situation where there is the opportunity to have sex that they will think twice about it.

same with smoking and drugs. I can't hold their hand or be with them every minute.

If your teenage daughter says, "Mom, I couldn't wait until marriage. I'm sleeping with my boyfriend," what would you tell her?

[pedroh 21]

If your teenage daughter says, "Mom, I couldn't wait until marriage. I'm sleeping with my boyfriend," what would you tell her?

Wait until marriage?

What planetcentury are you from?

That is an ideal for many people, particularly for those who believe that sex is sacred. I'm more pragmatic about it. It's a great ideal and I believe there is truth behind that notion, however, I don't prescribe to the idea that sex outside of marriage is necessarily morally deviant. (I'm speaking in the religious, moral context that is behind the 'teaching abstinence' policy).

My mom's advice to me was "try before you buy."

I don't think that should be the reason. Maybe I'm idealistic but I have felt that it is such an intimate act with another where we let all our physical, emotional, and spiritual barriers down, where we are totally giving ourselves to another. It's not an easy imprint to leave behind, at least for me. I know that sex can exist outside of love and can be a rather mechanical act if we choose so, but when there is the spiritual and emotional element - that's when it's 'Wow' to me.

You don't think that exists outside of marriage?

My mom said, if you are going to marry someone, it would be a very foolish thing to wait until after marriage to have sex with that person. Sex is an important part of life, and if it's not good, and you're stuck with that person, you're in trouble.

true.. true.. besides, sex is a part of the marriage and whole relationship, if sex is not good, it's to be in denial to say marriage is all good, because it's not..

[one...two...tree 2,762]

If your teenage daughter says, "Mom, I couldn't wait until marriage. I'm sleeping with my boyfriend," what would you tell her?

Wait until marriage?

What planetcentury are you from?

That is an ideal for many people, particularly for those who believe that sex is sacred. I'm more pragmatic about it. It's a great ideal and I believe there is truth behind that notion, however, I don't prescribe to the idea that sex outside of marriage is necessarily morally deviant. (I'm speaking in the religious, moral context that is behind the 'teaching abstinence' policy).

My mom's advice to me was "try before you buy."

I don't think that should be the reason. Maybe I'm idealistic but I have felt that it is such an intimate act with another where we let all our physical, emotional, and spiritual barriers down, where we are totally giving ourselves to another. It's not an easy imprint to leave behind, at least for me. I know that sex can exist outside of love and can be a rather mechanical act if we choose so, but when there is the spiritual and emotional element - that's when it's 'Wow' to me.

You don't think that exists outside of marriage?

My mom said, if you are going to marry someone, it would be a very foolish thing to wait until after marriage to have sex with that person. Sex is an important part of life, and if it's not good, and you're stuck with that person, you're in trouble.

true.. true.. besides, sex is a part of the marriage and whole relationship, if sex is not good, it's to be in denial to say marriage is all good, because it's not..

Without getting too personal - is the sex the same now with your spouse that it was the first time? From my experience, the sex early in a relationship does not give you much of a clue of how good it's gonna be later on down the road. I believe that's a misnomer. If your spouse is sexualy inept - then that's another issue, but that's something that can be worked at.